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"Home? I have no home. I don't even know who I am anymore."
Talltail to Jake about his identity in Tallstar's Revenge, page 732

Below contains in-depth information for chapter thirty-eight of Tallstar's Revenge. If you are looking for a shorter summary of the entire book, please check the main article.
Chapter Number: 38 (of 45)
Page Numbers: 201-205

Chapter description[]

Talltail flings himself onto the grass, wriggling. He sees Sparrow down at the cliff face, wailing for Talltail, a moment before landing on the Thunderpath. Sparrow manages to get up onto his paws after few moments, and screech for help again, tumbling across the gray Thunderpath, screaming for Talltail. He thinks he must save the brown rogue, but doesn't know how. He scrambles over the edge and lands beside Sparrow, and the rogue asks what is he doing. Talltail tells him to just follow, and to run as they saw the monster edging closer. He scans the edges of the Thunderpath, trying to find somewhere to hide in a rock. He saw a channel in the ground that was wide enough for one cat. He jumped inside, and shrieks for Sparrow to hurry. He neared and Talltail grabbed his pelt, shuddered with fear as the monster passed by. Talltail called Sparrow, and the rogue asked if they are alive. The black-and-white tom meows they have to get out of here, and Sparrow suggests going inside a small tunnel. He paused when there was no sound of pawsteps, looking at Sparrow again. He tells him it's safe, and promises. Talltail tells him to stay close to him, hearing his breathing.
He tells Sparrow he's doing great, and he meows thank you. Talltail feels suddenly numb. Because of him, Sparrow had almost died, and now, because of him, Sparrow's alive. Talltail feels like it's walking on top of a cat's body, as this wasn't what he had originally planned. Sparrow's muzzle touched Talltail's tail-tip, whispering he's sorry his father had died, and it was an accident. He meows Sandgorse had saved his life, and will never be forgotten by him. Talltail's throat tightens, thinking of course Sandgorse had saved him. Sparrow goes on about when cats don't know the truth, they fill in the gaps with stories they made up themselves. He meows sometimes it's the only way to make sense of their lives. Talltail asks why didn't he tell me what actually happened, at the time. Sparrow meows he didn't think he would believe him, as he was so angry and believed someone was to blame.
Talltail does not argue, as it was true. The end of the tunnel stretched out, and they emerged from the tunnel. Sparrow stands still, taking in deep breaths. Talltail asks where were they, and the rogue flicks his tail. He meows the camp is up there, jumping through long grass with Talltail following. The two walked in silence across the field until they reached the woods, Talltail being happy to let Sparrow lead. He scents the camp as they neared some silver bracken. Orange fur flashed in front of him, and the black-and-white tom broke into a run, asking if it was Jake.
The bright red kittypet tom was pacing back and forth, eyes wide. He demands to know what happened, and he realises he did not do it. Talltail meows no, and Jake asks why not. The long-tailed tom replies Sandgorse saved him, and Jake was confused, asking if he really did save him. Talltail meows it is what Sandgorse would do, and Jake exclaims he knew he couldn't do it. Talltail replies he let anger control who he is, and Jake argues in the end he let Sparrow live, which was being true to himself. Jake meows he knows Talltail, and his thirst to kill Sparrow isn't him. Talltail blinks at his friend meowing he's right, but asks what does he do now. Jake asks if Sparrow knows he planned to kill him, and Talltail meows yes he knows.
Jake meows then they had better leave, and Talltail mutters he needs to say goodbye first. Jake asks really, after what he did, and Talltail meows yes, thinking it would only be fair, telling his kittypet friend to wait here. Bess trots over and meows Sparrow tells them they were almost hit by a monster. Reena bounds over as well, asking if they are hurt. Algernon meows Sparrow says it was close, and Mole sniffs Talltail, saying he still smells like the monster. Talltail meows he's fine, but he and Jake must leave. Bess asks now, feeling surprised. Reena's eyes flashed with hurt, meowing they can't leave now. Sparrow meows that they must, and Algernon looks back at the brown rogue. Talltail explains that Jake needs to return home, and Reena asks what about him, and if he’s going back to WindClan. He meows he'll see Jake return home, wondering what will happen after. Reena offers to show the way, as she knows the Twolegplace. Talltail stops her saying they can find it on their own, and Bess presses against her, meowing she heard him. The black-and-white tom thinks if Reena hoped he will be his mate, and live together. He apologises, meowing he will miss them, and Reena meows she'll miss him too. Sparrow announces that they won't be visiting WindClan next greenleaf, and Talltail asks why, thinking if it's his fault.
Sparrow meows they will need a new path to go ahead, and Algernon's eyes grew wide, asking if he had decided this just now. The rogue shook his head, meowing not now, but it's the right decision, and the warrior code isn't suited for them. Talltail nods, and the brown rogue continues, meowing he wishes Heatherstar and Hawkheart well. He croaks he's sure they will do the same for them, dipping his head to Mole and wished the elderly tom to take care. Mole replies to travel well, and Talltail pads away from the camp, with Algernon meowing to watch out for the dogs. Talltail mutters he will, and wonders about WindClan, but reminds himself he had left, and their problems what not his concern. Jake asks if he's ok, and Talltail nods.
Jake asks if Sandgorse had really saved Sparrow, and Talltail replies yes, feeling grief again. The flame red kittypet tom meows then he really did die a hero then, and they pad into the woods. The reached the clearing and Jake offers to hunt, carrying back an old blackbird. Talltail teasingly asks if he can find one even older, and Jake replies at least he caught it, chewing its rough flesh. The long-tailed tom bit in as well, grateful for Jake's hunting skills, and his friend asks if he's returning home. Talltail meows he has no home, and Jake replies of course he does as he has WindClan. Talltail then meows he left WindClan, and Jake meows they would let him back. Jake tells him he should go home, and his friend blinks, meowing he doesn't have a home and doesn't even know who he is anymore. The kittypet tom meows he know who he is, and he's his best friend and always will be.

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Notes and references[]

  1. 1.0 1.1 Revealed in Tallstar's Revenge, page 716
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 Revealed in Tallstar's Revenge, page 726
  3. Revealed in Tallstar's Revenge, page 727
  4. Revealed in Tallstar's Revenge, page 722
  5. 5.0 5.1 Revealed in Tallstar's Revenge, page 729
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