Warriors Wiki


aka Whiskey

5,530 Edits since joining this wiki
September 17, 2011
  • I live in Kansas
  • I was born on May 3
  • My occupation is student
  • I am guess
I have like two sets of my charart files. Quit asking me for them.

Welcome to my Talk Page!
Leave message here if you need something or would like to start up a conversation. I'm always open to talk.
Please, watch your language and make sure to sign all posts with four ~'s so I know who you are.
Archives: 1 2


NOooooooooooo, not Beowulf :c Atelda insert vague subtext here 01:59, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

== Re:


Thank you for the redline c: I honestly have no idea how im supposed to use redlines.. Do i just try my best to copy it, or do i line over it? Im sorry, Im used to drawing traditionally most of my life, so this is kind of confusing.~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 03:27, September 16, 2014 (UTC)


Oh, that makes sense.. I thought if i were to line directly over it, though, wouldnt that make it your image? Since it was your redline? Because, i use a mouse, so i cant achieve exactly how that looks at all. Since you said it was possible to line right over it, that wouldnt make it "stealing" if i were to reupload with it? x_x sorry. This is just confusing me a bit.~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 03:50, September 16, 2014 (UTC)


hey you wouldn't happen to have the file for any of Cloudspot's images, would you? If you do, would you mind sending one over to —Rocket CRANBERRY SAUCE! 10:04 PM, Wed Oct 15, 2014


Hello Raelic: Im just wondering, Im going to try Petal's queen image, so could you by any chance send me the file for the rogue? It would help greatly. Send it to my brothers email, since i use his for everything: . Thank you!~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 16:09, October 30, 2014 (UTC)

.... Well, ive already reserved her, Im still going to try her, since Shinx has told me she had an older attempt she tried with the normal blanks, so ill use hers. But, if it proves to be a bit too difficult, ill probably go ahead and withdraw it so you could work on it. =/. Sorry, but theres really not many chararts still available, and i'd like something challenging. ~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 21:27, October 30, 2014 (UTC)

After thinking about it, ill go ahead and remove it from the table under my name, then. You can go ahead and have her; since you've had experience with that pattern before, anyway.~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 21:54, October 30, 2014 (UTC)

god i dont even know how to format anymore

re: the name on my profile page 

sure thing !! i can change it ! sorry about that ! {{SUBST:Nosubst|User:EmmatheFoxwing/sig}} (talk) 16:39, November 16, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Raelic~ So Altelda told me to ask you a question I posted on my blog, and the question is is that aren't flecked cats technically just tabbies with spots instead of stripes? And if that's true, shouldn't Ashfur and Ferncloud be technically spotted tabbies? Just something I thought of~ Oh, and I have no signature. Sorry. {{SUBST:Whitefeather09/Sig}}

Gorse Fur

Hello, Raelic :). Just a quick question; Do you by any chance have any of Gorse Fur's old files? If you do, could you please send them to my brother's gmail? (I use his for everything): . It would really help with his kit image. If not, that's totally fine ^-^ Thank you~ ~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 03:21, December 2, 2014 (UTC)

Hey Raelic. So, this is about the Flecked Tabbies thing, and I'm a bit confused. I asked the PCA on their Talk Page like you suggested a few weeks ago, but when I came back to see if they replied, I found that my section had been deleted. I'm not sure what happened, but do I have to be part of the PCA to ask them? Or am I just doing it wrong? Sorry if I bothered you :P {{SUBST:Whitefeather09/Sig}} 01:41, December 21, 2014 (UTC)


Thank you, Breezy =) this means a lot to me. I wasn't really expecting to be nominated. --BurntclawA dreamwe're unstoppable 03:55, February 16, =


Wow, thank you! You've really made my day, and I really appreciate the nomination. I wasn't expecting that at all. =)~☯ Breeze Five Nights at Freddys 07:01, February 16, 2015 (UTC)


The unusual events described in this chronicle occurred in 194- at Oran. Everyone agreed that, considering their somewhat extraordinary character, they were out of place there. For its ordinariness is what strikes one first about the town of Oran, which is merely a large French port on the Algerian coast, headquarters of the Prefect of a French Department.

The town itself, let us admit, is ugly. It has a smug, placid air and you need time to discover what it is that makes it different from so many business centers in other parts of the world. How to conjure up a picture, for instance, of a town without pigeons, without any trees or gardens, where you never hear the beat of wings or the rustle of leaves, a thoroughly negative place, in short?

The seasons are discriminated only in the sky. All that tells you of spring's coming is the feel of the air, or the baskets of flowers brought in from the suburbs by peddlers; it's a spring cried in the marketplaces. During the summer the sun bakes the houses bone-dry, sprinkles our walls with grayish dust, and you have no option but to survive those days of fire indoors, behind closed shutters. In autumn, on the other hand, we have deluges of mud. Only winter brings really pleasant weather.

Perhaps the easiest way of making a town's acquaintance is to ascertain how the people in it work, how they love, and how they die. In our little town (is this, one wonders, an effect of the climate? All three are done on much the same lines, with the same feverish yet casual air. The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits. Our citizens work hard, but solely with the object of getting rich. Their chief interest is in commerce, and their chief aim in life is, as they call it, "doing business." Naturally they don't eschew such simpler pleasures as love-making, seabathing, going to the pictures. But, very sensibly, they reserve these pastimes for Saturday afternoons and Sundays and employ the rest of the week in making money, as much as possible. In the evening, on leaving the office, they forgather, at an hour that never varies, in the cafes, stroll the same boulevard, or take the air on their balconies. The passions of the young are violent and short-lived; the vices of older men seldom range beyond an addiction to bowling, to banquets and "socials," or clubs where large sums change hands on the fall of a card.

It will be said, no doubt, that these habits are not peculiar to our town; really all our contemporaries are much the same. Certainly nothing is commoner nowadays than to see people working from morn till night and then proceeding to fritter away at cardtables, in cafes and in small-talk what time is left for living. Nevertheless there still exist towns and countries where people have now and then an inkling of something different. In general it doesn't change their lives. Still, they have had an intimation, and that's so much to the good. Oran, however, seems to be a town without intimations; in other words, completely modern. Hence I see no need to dwell on the manner of loving in our town. The men and women consume one another rapidly in what is called "the act of love," or else settle down to a mild habit of conjugality. We seldom find a mean between these extremes. That, too, is not exceptional. At Oran, as elsewhere, for lack of time and thinking, people have to love one another without knowing much about it.

What is more exceptional in our town is the difficulty one may experience there in dying. "Difficulty," perhaps, is not the right word, 'discomfort" would come nearer. Being ill's never agreeable but there are towns that stand by you, so to speak, when you are sick; in which you can, after a fashion, let yourself go.

An invalid needs small attentions, he likes to have something to rely on, and that's natural enough. But at Oran the violent extremes of temperature, the exigencies of business, the uninspiring surroundings, the sudden nightfalls, and the very nature of its pleasures call for good health. An invalid feels out of it there.

Think what it must be for a dying man, trapped behind hundreds of walls all sizzling with heat, while the whole population, sitting in cafes or hanging on the telephone, is discussing shipments, bills of lading, discounts! It will then be obvious what discomfort attends death, even modern death, when it waylays you under such conditions in a dry place.

Atelda insert vague subtext here 05:33, February 21, 2015 (UTC)

thx Atelda insert vague subtext here 04:09, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

this is wAR

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Hang on a second.


- Barry? - Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school, three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie? - Yeah.

- You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.

I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are!

- Bee-men. - Amen!


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...


That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!



We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive golden glow you know as...


- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!

- She is? - Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes? - Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

- What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know

that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?" How can you say that?

One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were. - I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

- Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh? - Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

- Maybe I am. - You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

- Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

- You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

- We're starting work today! - Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

- Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.

- What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar!


Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

- You want to go first? - No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

- Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?


All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...

What happened to you? Where are you?

- I'm going out. - Out? Out where?

- Out there. - Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

- Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you. - OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

- That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!


You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check.

- Wings, check. - Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!



This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

- Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

Oopy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?


That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.


Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Oandy-brain, get off there!


- Guys! - This could be bad.


Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Ooming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

- Should we tell him? - I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!



There's a bee in the car!

- Do something! - I'm driving!

- Hi, bee. - He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

Oan't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close the window please?

Ken, could you close the window please?

Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure.

You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...


That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that...

...kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming.

I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.


Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

- You could put carob chips on there. - Bye.

- Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.

I gotta say something.

She saved my life. I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.


What would I say?

I could really get in trouble.

It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

No. Yes. No.

Do it. I can't.

How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


I'm sorry.

- You're talking. - Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.

But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,

but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you...

I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird.

- I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now.

- Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

- That's very funny. - Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


Oan I...

...get you something? - Like what?

I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

- It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.

- Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

- I shouldn't. - Have some.

- No, I can't. - Oome on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

- Where? - These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.

Are you all right?


He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

- You do? - Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

- Really? - My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look...

There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.

- Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that.

- You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Oan I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

- Thanks! - Yeah.

All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.

Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go. We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

- Sounds amazing. - It was amazing!

It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans! What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.

- Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't.

- How'd you get back? - Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.

- Well... - Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.

- Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.

I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.

- Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes

with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life! And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

- They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat!

- You know what a Oinnabon is? - No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot! - Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!

- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.

What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you to make a little honey?

Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!


- We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

- Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

- Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk,

write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion:

Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


- What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that down to a science.

- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet.

What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

Ray Liotta Private Select?

- Is he that actor? - I never heard of him.

- Why is this here? - For people. We eat it.

You don't have enough food of your own?

- Well, yes. - How do you get it?

- Bees make it. - I know who makes it!

And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!

- It's organic. - It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!

Hey, Hector.

- You almost done? - Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now

and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something. So you can talk!

I can talk. And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?

I don't understand. I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!

You're too late! It's ours now!

You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from?

Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Orazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

- And you? - He really is dead.

All right.


- What is that?! - Oh, no!

- A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

- Bee! - Moose blood guy!!

- You hear something? - Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.


I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it.

I mean, that honey's ours.

- Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.

- What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.

Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!

- Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!


- Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

The Thomas 3000!


Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.

They make the honey, and we make the money.

"They make the honey, and we make the money"?

Oh, my!

What's going on? Are you OK?

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?

Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.

This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!

That's a drag queen!

What is this?

Oh, no!

There's hundreds of them!

Bee honey.

Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!

This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.

Oh, Barry, stop.

Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.

Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.

How did you get mixed up in this?

He's been talking to humans.

- What? - Talking to humans?!

He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!

Make out? Barry!

We do not.

- You wish you could. - Whose side are you on?

The bees!

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?

I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

I remember that.

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Sting them where it really hurts.

In the face! The eye!

- That would hurt. - No.

Up the nose? That's a killer.

There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.

Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.

No more bee beards!

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

Weather with Storm Stinger.

Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Ohung.

- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,

packaging it and profiting from it illegally!

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book,

Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?

Bees have never been afraid to change the world.

What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.

How old are you?

The bee community is supporting you in this case,

which will be the trial of the bee century.

You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.

It's a common name. Next week...

He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...

Next week...

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.

Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.

In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.

- Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

- Hello. - Hello, bee.

This is Ken.

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Why does he talk again?

Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.

But it's our yogurt night!


Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!

Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.

- Frosting... - How many sugars?

Just one. I try not to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.

Those are great, if you're three.

And artificial flowers.

- Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.

- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess.

You sure you want to go through with it?

Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able

to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!

It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,

where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history,

we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.

You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?

Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.

- What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

You boys work on this?

All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Oase number 4475,

Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

A privilege.

Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.

Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

my grandmother was a simple woman.

Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right

to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,

just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

How do we know this isn't some sort of

holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams!

Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know,

he could be on steroids!

Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.

I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me.

It's important to all bees. We invented it!

We make it. And we protect it with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have

but everything we are!

I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!

Oall your first witness.

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.

I suppose so.

I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?

- No. - I couldn't hear you.

- No. - No.

Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures.

Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

You mean like this?

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?!

Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows!

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me.

- Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been a police officer, have you?

No, I haven't.

No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example

of bee culture casually stolen by a human

for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.

Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting.

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on

your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you.

I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you?

Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't

have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?

Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!

This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella!

Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!

- Order in this court! - You're all thinking it!

Order! Order, I say!

- Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.

I think the jury's on our side.

Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

To a great team!

Well, hello.

- Ken! - Hello.

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery.

I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

Oh, that was lucky.

There's a little left. I could heat it up.

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit. Right... there.

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.

Do we?

Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

That's just what I was thinking about doing.

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

Yeah, you do that.

Look at that.

You know, I've just about had it

with your little mind games.

- What's that? - Italian Vogue.

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

A lot of ads.

Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?

Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

I think something stinks in here!

I love the smell of flowers.

How do you like the smell of flames?!

Not as much.

Water bug! Not taking sides!

Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic!

I've got issues!

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

- You're bluffing. - Am I?

Surf's up, dude!

Poo water!

That bowl is gnarly.

Except for those dirty yellow rings!

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!

We need to talk!

He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?

No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!

I'm sorry about all that.

I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!

I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me.

I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.

We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...


Layton, you've gotta weave some magic

with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.

Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.

- You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic?

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship

to that woman?

We're friends.

- Good friends? - Yes.

How good? Do you live together?

Wait a minute...

Are you her little...


I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,

doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?

- Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents!

- Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are!

Hold me back!

You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?

He's denouncing bees!

Don't y'all date your cousins?

- Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy!

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

Oh, I'm hit!!

Oh, lordy, I am hit!

Order! Order!

The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins!

I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction!

You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages!

Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!

- Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs.

What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison

from my heaving buttocks?

I will have order in this court. Order!

Order, please!

The case of the honeybees versus the human race

took a pointed turn against the bees

yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

- Hey, buddy. - Hey.

- Is there much pain? - Yeah.


I blew the whole case, didn't I?

It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

Look, there's a little celery still on it.

What was it like to sting someone?

I can't explain it. It was all...

All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!

All right.

You think it was all a trap?

Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us if they win?

I don't know.

I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.

Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!

Oh, my.

Oould you get a nurse to close that window?

- Why? - The smoke.

Bees don't smoke.

Right. Bees don't smoke.

Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case!

It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.

And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

Mr. Flayman.

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

Where is the rest of your team?

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

and as a result, we don't make very good time.

I actually heard a funny story about...

Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs

taken up enough of this court's valuable time?

How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?

They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges

against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.

I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!

Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.

But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?

Show me the smoking gun!

Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun?

Here is your smoking gun.

What is that?

It's a bee smoker!

What, this? This harmless little contraption?

This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.

Look at what has happened

to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?"

Is this what nature intended for us?

To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines

and man-made wooden slat work camps?

Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?

- What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

Free the bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!

Vanessa, we won!

I knew you could do it! High-five!


I'm OK! You know what this means?

All the honey will finally belong to the bees.

Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.

This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.

You'll regret this.

Barry, how much honey is out there?

All right. One at a time.

Barry, who are you wearing?

My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.

- What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean?

We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.

Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement?

First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.

Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,

every last drop.

We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more

than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.

We're all aware of what they do in the woods.

Wait for my signal.

Take him out.

He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...

But it's just a prance-about stage name!

...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products

and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.

Oan't breathe.

Bring it in, boys!

Hold it right there! Good.

Tap it.

Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming!

- I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down.

Shut down honey production!

Stop making honey!

Turn your key, sir!

What do we do now?


We're shutting honey production!

Mission abort.

Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base.

Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?

What's going on? Where is everybody?

- Are they out celebrating? - They're home.

They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.

I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.

At least we got our honey back.

Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.

This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well.

And now...

Now I can't.

I don't understand why they're not happy.

I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people.

You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?

- What did you want to show me? - This.

What happened here?

That is not the half of it.

Oh, no. Oh, my.

They're all wilting.

Doesn't look very good, does it?


And whose fault do you think that is?

You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


Specifically, me.

I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.

It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

That's our whole SAT test right there.

Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.

And then, of course...

The human species?

So if there's no more pollination,

it could all just go south here, couldn't it?

I know this is also partly my fault.

How about a suicide pact?

How do we do it?

- I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice.

Right, right.

Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.

I had to open my mouth and talk.


Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?

To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.

They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.

It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it.

Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this.

I know. Me neither.

Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports.

Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?





- Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are.

Flowers, bees, pollen!

I know. That's why this is the last parade.

Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down?

Oould you slow down?


OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault.

Yes, it kind of is.

I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you

with the flower shop. I've made it worse.

Actually, it's completely closed down.

I thought maybe you were remodeling.

But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.

I don't want to hear it!

All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.

All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.

- Bees. - Park.

- Pollen! - Flowers.

- Repollination! - Across the nation!

Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia.

They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

Security will be tight.

I have an idea.

Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

Official floral business. It's real.

Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

Thank you. It was a gift.

Once inside, we just pick the right float.

How about The Princess and the Pea?

I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!

Yes, I got it.

- Where should I sit? - What are you?

- I believe I'm the pea. - The pea?

It goes under the mattresses.

- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal.

You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!

Let's see what this baby'll do.

Hey, what are you doing?!

Then all we do is blend in with traffic...

...without arousing suspicion.

Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.

Stop! Security.

- You and your insect pack your float? - Yes.

Has it been in your possession the entire time?

Would you remove your shoes?

- Remove your stinger. - It's part of me.

I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.

Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!

I think this is gonna work.

It's got to work.

Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott.

We have a bit of bad weather in New York.

It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.

Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.

I gotta get up there and talk to them.

Be careful.

Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?

I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

- What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.


Don't freak out! My entire species...

What are you doing?

- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?

Don't move.

Oh, Barry.

Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain.

Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit?

And please hurry!

What happened here?

There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.

One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!

- Is that another bee joke? - No!

No one's flying the plane!

This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?

This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.

Where's the pilot?

He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?

As a matter of fact, there is.

- Who's that? - Barry Benson.

From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.

It's got giant wings, huge engines.

I can't fly a plane.

- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes.

How hard could it be?

Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.

This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

where a suspenseful scene is developing.

Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...

That's Barry! attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers

and an incapacitated flight crew.


We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls

with absolutely no flight experience.

Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.

They've done enough damage.

But isn't he your only hope?

Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.

Their wings are too small...

Haven't we heard this a million times?

"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."

- Get this on the air! - Got it.

- Stand by. - We're going live.

The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.

But let me tell you about a small job.

If you do it well, it makes a big difference.

More than we realized. To us, to everyone.

That's why I want to get bees back to working together.

That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.

We get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow! - Hello!

Left, right, down, hover.

- Hover? - Forget hover.

This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

Barry, what happened?!

Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.

- That may have been helping me. - And now we're not!

So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!

Move out!

Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!

Don't have to yell.

I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.

It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!

It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

I can't do this!

Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!

You snap out of it.

You snap out of it.

- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!

- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!

- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!

- Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

How is the plane flying?

I don't know.


Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?

The Pollen Jocks!

They do get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow. - Hello.

All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.

Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.

- What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

Bring the nose down.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that!

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK.

Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?


Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

Land on that flower!

Ready? Full reverse!

Spin it around!

- Not that flower! The other one! - Which one?

- That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower!

That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower

made of millions of bees!

Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

Rotate around it.

- This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly.

Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?

Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!

Just drop it. Be a part of it.

Aim for the center!

Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

Oome on, already.

Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!

- Yes. No high-five! - Right.

Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower?

What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius!

- Thank you. - But we're not done yet.

Listen, everyone!

This runway is covered with the last pollen

from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.

That means this is our last chance.

We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.

If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?

Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains?

We're bees!


Then follow me! Except Keychain.

Hold on, Barry. Here.

You've earned this.


I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

Oh, yeah.

That's our Barry.

Mom! The bees are back!

If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!

Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!

Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!

I had no idea.

Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment?

Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.

Sorry I'm late.

He's a lawyer too?

I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.

Have a great afternoon!

Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.

No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next?

All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.

Thank you, Barry!

That bee is living my life!

Let it go, Kenny.

- When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go.

- Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.

Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.

You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.

- Thinking bee! - Me?

Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here?

I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!

All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.

I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

bONus roUND

ICE HARVESTERS, dressed in traditional Sami clothing, score a
frozen lake. They SING.
”The Frozen Heart (Ice Worker’s Song)”
The men drag giant ice blocks through channels of water.
Hup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!
A young Sami boy, KRISTOFF (8), and his reindeer calf, SVEN,
share a carrot as they try to keep up with the men.
Hup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go!
Young Kristoff struggles to get a block of ice out of the
water. He fails, ends up soaked. Sven licks his wet cheek.
A sharp ice floe overtakes the workers, threateningly. They
fight it back.
Massive fjord horses drag heavy ice plows.
The sun sets. Lanterns are lit.
In the dark, Kristoff and Sven finally manage to get a single
block of ice out of the water.
The workers pile onto the giant horse-drawn ice sled as it
pulls away.
Left behind, Kristoff and Sven push their ice block onto a
dinky little sled then head off.
We sweep up from them to the Northern Lights filling the
sky...then move across the mountains...beneath the
snowline...and descend upon...
A humble castle, built of wood, nestled in a deep fjord.
ELSA (8) sleeps in her bed. Her little sister ANNA (5) pops
up beside her.
Elsa. Psst. Elsa! Psst.
Elsa doesn’t stir. Anna sits on Elsa and bounces.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
Anna, go back to sleep.
Anna rolls onto her back and spreads all her weight on Elsa.
(drama queen-ish)
I just can’t. The sky’s awake, so
I’m awake, so we have to play.
...Go play by yourself.
Elsa shoves Anna off the bed.
Anna lands butt to floor, sighs, defeated. But then she gets
an idea. She hops back on the bed and lifts one of Elsa’s
Do you want to build a snowman?
Elsa’s eyes both pop open. She smiles.
Anna, now wearing snow boots,  pulls Elsa by the hand.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Elsa tries to shush her, but Anna’s too excited.
The girls sneak into the ballroom. Elsa shuts the door.
Do the magic! Do the magic!
Elsa laughs and waves her hands together. Snowflakes suddenly
burst forth and dance between her palms, forming a snowball.
Elsa throws the snowball high into the air. Snow bursts out
and flurries around the room. Anna dances about, catching
flakes in her palms and mouth.
This is amazing!
Watch this!
Elsa stomps her little slippered foot and a layer of ice
suddenly coats the floor, forming a giant ice rink. Anna
slides off, laughing.
-Anna and Elsa roll giant snowballs and build a snowman
together. Elsa moves his stick arms around.
(goofy voice)
Hi, I’m Olaf and I like warm hugs.
Anna jumps up and hugs him.
I love you, Olaf.
-Anna and Olaf appear to be dancing. REVEAL: Elsa is actually
propelling them across the ice floor with her magic.
-The girls slide down snowbanks together!
-Anna fearlessly jumps off a snow peak into mid air.
Catch me!
Elsa makes another peak to catch Anna.
Anna keeps jumping. Elsa keeps casting magic.
(jumping faster)
Again! Again!
(struggling to keep up)
Slow down!
Elsa suddenly slips.
Her magic accidentally STRIKES Anna in the head. Anna tumbles
down a snowbank and lands, unconscious.
Elsa runs to Anna and takes her in her arms. A streak of
Anna’s hair, where struck, turns white.
The room around them fills with frightening ice spikes.
FROZEN - J. Lee 4The parents burst through the frozen door. GASP at the sight
of the room.
Elsa, what have you done? This is
getting out of hand!
(seeing Anna)
The King and Queen rush to Anna and take her in their arms.
It was an accident. I’m sorry,
(about Anna)
She’s ice cold.
...I know where we have to go.
The King sifts through a shelf to find an ancient book
inscribed with Old Norse runes. He opens the book, scrambles
to a page with an ancient map.
Carrying the girls, the King and Queen ride their horses out
of the kingdom. Snow streams from Elsa’s hands, leaving a
trail of ice behind them.
A sleepy Kristoff and Sven travel alone through the dark
woods. All of a sudden, the King and Queen race by with the
girls, leaving the wake of ice.
Kristoff rides Sven as they follow the trail of ice.
Faster, Sven!
Kristoff hops off Sven at the edge of a deep valley. They
hide behind a rock and peek out.
Down below, the King holds a frightened Elsa. The Queen holds 
the still unconscious Anna .
Please, help. My daughter!
Suddenly, a bunch of rocks tumble down the valley toward
them. It looks as though they’ll be crushed!
But, luckily, the rocks stop at their feet. The rocks then
unfold, revealing bright faces.
The rock in front of Kristoff “wakes up.” Meet BULDA.
Shush. I’m trying to listen.
She grabs Kristoff and Sven by hand and hoof and hugs them
close. Sven licks her face and she eyes them both.
Cuties. I’m gonna keep you.
Back below, the crowd parts for a troll as old as the Earth.
They call him GRAND PABBIE. He approaches arthritically, but
determined. He nods respectfully to the king.
Your Majesty.
(referring to Elsa)
Born with the powers or cursed?
Born. And they’re getting stronger.
Grand Pabbie motions for the Queen to bring Anna to him. She 
does. He examines her.
(about Anna)
You are lucky it wasn’t her heart.
The heart is not so easily changed,
but the head can be persuaded.
Do what you must.
I recommend we remove all magic,
even memories of magic to be
safe.... But don’t worry, I’ll
leave the fun.
Grand Pabbie pulls out a glowing blue energy from Anna’s
head. We see her memories floating right above her. Grand
Pabbie changes all of her magical memories to ordinary
 memories -- snowy play indoors with the girls in their 
nightgowns changes to outdoors on the winter fjords with the
girls in winter gear. He puts the ordinary memories back in
her head.
She will be okay.
But she won’t remember I have
It’s for the best.
Listen to me, Elsa, your power will
only grow.
As he speaks, he conducts the Northern Lights to show a
silhouette of an adult Elsa creating magical snowflakes.
There is beauty in your magic....
But also great danger.
The snowflakes turn to sharp spikes.
You must learn to control it.
In the Northern Lights display, the sharp spikes cause human
figures to panic and attack Elsa.
Fear will be your enemy.
FROZEN - J. Lee 7Elsa gasps and buries her face in the King’s chest. The King
wraps his arms around Elsa, protectively.
No. We’ll protect her. She can
learn to control it. I’m sure.
Over the King’s words we...
-The Arendelle castle gates shutting.
Until then, we’ll lock the gates.
We’ll reduce the staff. We will
limit her contact with people and
keep her powers hidden from
everyone... including Anna.
-The castle shutters close.
-Anna sits on her bed as Elsa’s furniture disappears.
-Anna rushes to the hall to see Elsa shut the door to her new
room. Anna watches, confused and sad.
We look out on a gentle snowfall. Little Anna skips up to the
window. She lights up at the sight of the snow and rushes
down the hall.
Anna knocks on Elsa’s door and SINGS.
“Do You Want to Build a Snowman?”
Anna peeks under the door.
FROZEN - J. Lee 8-INT. ANNA’S ROOM — Anna plays with two dolls, gives up, sad.
-ELSA’S DOOR. Anna peeks through the key hole.
-Anna calls through the keyhole.
 Go away, Anna.
-BEHIND THE DOOR — DAY. Elsa sits at the window looking out,
longingly. Suddenly, her icy hands freeze the windowsill.
-LATER. The King slips leather gloves onto Elsa’s hands.
The gloves will help.
He pats her gloved hand.
See? You’re good....
(starting their mantra)
Conceal it.
Don’t feel it.
Don’t let it show.
-INT. HALLWAY, ELSA’S DOOR — DAY. Anna, now 9, knocks on
Elsa’s door.
ANNA (9)
-INT. HALLWAY — DAY. Alone, Anna rides a bicycle built for
two in the hall by standing on the back seat.
FROZEN - J. Lee 9ANNA (9) (CONT’D)
-INT. PORTRAIT ROOM — DAY. Anna runs around the portrait
room, gaining momentum to flip over the arm of the couch.
Anna lands PLOP on the cushions, then looks up at the
painting above her of the courageous Joan of Arc.
Hang in there, Joan.
-INT. EMPTY LIBRARY — DAY. Looks like no one’s around.
But then we find Anna, laying at the base of the grandfather
clock, playing with her braids, bored out of her mind.
Anna’s eyes follow the grandfather clock’s pendulum.
-INT. ELSA’S ROOM — NIGHT. Elsa (now 12) paces as she panics.
The entire wall is frozen behind her.
ELSA (12)
I’m scared. It’s getting stronger.
Getting upset only makes it worse.
The King goes to hug her.
ELSA (12)
No. Don’t touch me. I don’t want to
hurt you.
He and the Queen look at each other with alarmed sadness.
-INT. LIBRARY — DAY. Anna, now a teenager, slides past Elsa’s
 room without stopping.
FROZEN - J. Lee 10-INT. KING AND QUEEN’S QUARTERS — DAY. Anna runs into the
room and throws herself into her parents’ arms.
See you in two weeks.
-INT. ELSA’S ROOM — DAY. Elsa curtsies in front of her
parents, formally, not touching them.
Do you have to go?
You’ll be fine, Elsa.
-EXT. DOCKS — DAY. The King and Queen leave on a ship.
-EXT. ROUGH SEAS — NIGHT. Lightning flashes. The sea rages in
a storm. The King and Queen’s ship is lost in the waves.
-INT. CASTLE — DAY. A portrait of the King and Queen is
covered in mourning cloth.
-EXT. CEMETERY — DAY. Anna looks small, standing before her
people, beside burial stones.
-INT. HALLWAY, ELSA’S DOOR. Anna, still in her mourning
clothes, approaches and knocks.
Anna slides down the door and sits with her head against it.
(weak, internal)
We move through the door...
-INT. ELSA’S ROOM — DAY. Elsa is sitting in the exact same
pose as Anna. Her bedroom is frozen with ice. Snowflakes hang
in the air, suspended by grief.
A new dawn rises over the fjords.
Ships pull up to the docks. Guests pile out.
Welcome to Arendelle!
A BOY tries to get away as his MOTHER tries to stuff him in
his bunad jacket.
Why do I have to wear this?
Because the Queen has come of age.
It’s Coronation Day!
That’s not my fault.
They pass the May Pole being raised and a Sami ice harvester
chatting with his reindeer. We recognize them as Kristoff and
Sven, all grown up. Sven hops around excitedly like a dog and
nuzzles Kristoff’s chest.
What do you want, Sven?
Kristoff leans in and speaks for Sven, as if he can.
 Give me a snack.
What’s the magic word?
Kristoff pulls a carrot out of his shirt pocket and hands it
to Sven. Sven tries to bite the whole thing.
Hey, hey, hey! Share!
Sven takes a smaller bite. Kristoff then has a bite himself,
not seeming to care that it’s covered in reindeer slobber.
We move on to PERSI and AGGIE, a super-excited couple who
rush towards the castle.
I can’t believe they’re finally
opening up the gates!
And for a whole day! Faster, Persi!
They pass a tiny but menacing DUKE, who wears taps on his
shoes to “enhance” his presence. Two THUG guards follow close
behind him.
Ah, Arendelle, our most mysterious
trade partner. Open those gates so
I may unlock your secrets and
exploit your riches.
(catching himself)
...Did I just say that out loud?
We leave him and head down the bridge towards the castle
gates, passing an Irishman and a Spanish Dignitary.
Oh, me sore eyes can’t wait to see
the Queen and the Princess. I bet
they’re absolutely lovely.
I bet they are beautiful.
We move past them, to a particular castle window.
Anna, 18, snores. Drools. KNOCK. KNOCK.
KAI (O.S.)
Princess Anna...?
Anna sits up. She’s got major bedhead. She coughs. Snorts.
Pulls a hair from her mouth.
...Huh? Yeah?
KAI (O.S.)
Sorry to wake you, ma’am but--
No, you didn’t. I’ve been up for
FROZEN - J. Lee 13She falls back asleep while sitting. She snores. Her head
drops, startling her awake.
Who is it?
KAI (O.S.)
It’s still me, ma’am. Time to get
Ready for what?
KAI (O.S.)
Your sister’s coronation, ma’am.
My sister’s cor-neration...
One eye opens enough to catch sight of her coronation dress.
She bolts, wide awake in excitement.
Coronation Day! Ha ha!
Anna bursts out of her room, wearing her coronation dress.
She finishes pinning ribbons in her hair. Seeing the hustle
and bustle of preparations, she can’t help but SING.
“For the First Time in Forever”
-Anna slides along the floor of the ballroom in her socks.
-She shakes hands with a suit of armor. Breaks it. Hides the
-Anna comes to a window and jumps out onto a window washer’s
pulley. She raises herself up to see the ships arriving.
-Anna walks through the garden and follows a family of geese.
I can’t wait to meet everyone....
(GASP) What if I meet THE ONE?
-Anna twists herself in a velvet drape like it’s a gown. She
acts like she looks gorgeous, but she looks ridiculous.
-She notices the bust of a man across the room.
(mouth full of chocolate)
-She grabs the bust of the man and swings it around.
The bust goes flying and lands on the top of the cake.
-Anna bursts into the portrait room, bounces on the
furniture, and interacts with the paintings.
-INT. LIBRARY. ELSA, now a very poised 21, watches out the
window as the coronation guests arrive.
Elsa moves to a painting of her father’s coronation. She
takes off her gloves and mimics the painting by holding a
candlestick and ornament in place of an orb and scepter.
The candlestick and ornament ice over. Elsa gasps, slams them
back down onto the table. She tries to reassure herself.
We cut between Anna’s excitement and Elsa’s nerves.
- Finally, the gates are open! Anna moves through the crowd,
admiring the people around her.
-Anna hurries over the bridge and into the village square.
-Anna SLAMS right into the breast of a HORSE!
She falls back and lands in a small wooden boat. It tips off
of the dock. She’s heading overboard. But just then, the
horse slams his hoof into the boat and steadies it.
I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?
The rider, HANS, sure is handsome and regal.
Hey. I-ya, no. No. I’m okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I just wasn’t looking where I
was going. But I’m okay.
He hops down from his horse and steps into the boat.
I’m great, actually.
Oh, thank goodness.
He offers her a hand and their eyes meet. Chemistry. He helps
her to her feet.
Prince Hans of the Southern Isles.
Princess Anna of Arendelle.
Princess...? My Lady.
He drops to his knees, head bowed. The horse bows too,
curling his hoof up and out of the boat.
The boat tips. Hans tumbles on top of Anna. Awkward.
The horse slams his foot back into the boat to stabilize it.
Anna and Hans tumble the other way. Anna lands on top of him.
Oh boy.
Ha. This is awkward. Not you’re
awkward, but just because we’re--
I’m awkward. You’re gorgeous.
(did she just say that?)
Wait, what?
Hans quickly gets to his feet and helps Anna up again.
I’d like to formally apologize for
hitting the Princess of Arendelle
with my horse...and for every
moment after.
No. No-no. It’s fine. I’m not THAT
Princess. I mean, if you’d hit my
 sister Elsa, that would be-- yeash!
‘Cuz, you know...
(patting the horse)
FROZEN - J. Lee 18
(MORE)(to Hans)
But, lucky you, it’s-it’s just me.
Just you?
Hans smiles, amused. She smiles back. The bells RING. She
doesn’t notice at first; she’s too busy drinking in Hans’s
...The bells. The coronation. I-I-I
better go. I have to...I better go.
She hurries off, stops, turns back. Gives Hans a little wave.
As she rushes off again, Hans waves back. The horse waves
too, once again taking his hoof out of the boat.
Oh no.
The boat falls, with Hans in it. SPLASH! It lands upside down
in the water. Hans raises it up off of him, gasping for air.
Elsa stands at the alter. Anna stands off to one side. She
peeks out to the audience.
Hans waves at her from the pews. He’s changed his clothes.
The crown is placed on Elsa’s head. The scepter and orb are
presented to Elsa on a pillow. She slowly reaches for them.
(a whisper)
Your Majesty, the gloves.
Elsa hesitates. She breathes nervously, removes her gloves,
places them on the pillow. Her hands shake. She takes the orb
and scepter, then turns to the people.
(formal, in Old Norse)
Sehm hon HELL-drr IN-um HELL-gum
AYG-num ok krund ee THES-um HELLgah
STAHTH, ehk teh frahm FUR-ear Uthear...
FROZEN - J. Lee 19
ANNA (CONT'D)The scepter and orb start to freeze over.
...Queen Elsa of Arendelle.
Queen Elsa of Arendelle.
Just in time. Elsa manages to set the orb and scepter back
down on the pillow before anyone notices the ice. She picks
up her gloves and slips them on. She made it.
Springy music fills the Great Hall. Guests dance. Eat. Laugh.
Queen Elsa of Arendelle.
Elsa enters, poised and looking surprisingly content. She 
stands under a formal awning.
Princess Anna of Arendelle!
Anna runs into the room, waves awkwardly. Kai ushers her over
to stand right next to Elsa.
Here? Are you sure?
She and Elsa sneak awkward peeks at each other.
Hi me...? Oh. Um. Hi.
...You look beautiful.
Thank you. You look beautifuller. I
mean, not fuller. You don’t look
fuller, but more beautiful.
Thank you.
They look out at the celebration.
So, this is what a party looks
It’s warmer than I thought.
And what is that amazing smell?
They both close their eyes and inhale.
Their eyes pop open. They laugh.
Elsa looks back out at the party. Anna looks at Elsa. She
wants to say so much, but she can’t think of where to start.
Just as she finds her way, Kai interrupts.
Your Majesty. The Duke of
Weselton. The Duke of Weselton.
(to Elsa)
Your Majesty, as your closest
partner in trade, it seems only
fitting that I offer you your first
dance as queen.
The Duke does a funny flitter of his feet, a hitch-kick, and
a deep bow.
(whispers to himself)
One, two, three. Jump.
As he holds out his hand, head down, his toupee dips forward.
Anna giggles. Elsa looks at Anna, stifles a giggle herself.
(to the Duke)
Thank you...only I don’t dance.
But my sister does.
Lucky you....
Oh, I don’t think--
The Duke grabs Anna’s arm and yanks her away before she can
If you swoon, let me know, I’ll
catch you.
Anna looks back at Elsa, desperately.
OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR: The Duke showboats, but he’s just
awful. Anna tries to make the best of it.
Like an agile peacock... CLUCKCLUGGLE-CLUCK!
He lands on her feet.
Ow. Ow.
Speaking of, so great to have the
gates open. Why did they shut them
in the first place? Do you know the
reason? Hmm?
He gets in her face, suspicious.
Oh, all right. Hang on. They don’t
call me the little dipper for
He dips Anna back. Elsa peeks through the crowd, can barely
hold in her laughter. Anna shoots Elsa funny, help-me looks.
(groove fully on)
Like a chicken...with the face of a
monkey...I fly.
Anna limps back to Elsa.
Let me know when you’re ready for
another round, M’Lady.
Well, he was sprightly.
(rubbing her sore feet)
Especially for a man in heels.
Are you okay?
(loving Elsa’s attention)
I’ve never been better. This is so
nice. I wish it could be like this
all the time.
Me too....
But then Elsa catches herself. She stiffens up, looks away.
But it can’t.
Why not? If--
It just can’t.
FROZEN - J. Lee 23Anna’s smile drops. She tries not to get emotional.
Excuse me for a minute.
She walks away. Elsa watches her go, saddened.
Moving through the crowd, Anna gets bumped by a bowing man’s
butt. She falls. Just before she hits the floor, Hans catches
her. He smiles perfectly.
Glad I caught you.
He smoothly sets his drink down on a passing tray. He lifts
her up and leads her in a romantic dance.
LATER: Anna and Hans drink and chat.
I often had the whole parlor to
myself to slide... Oops. Sorry.
She hits him in the face by mistake with her hand. He laughs.
-THE CASTLE DOORS: Anna and Hans stroll out of the castle.
...Your physique helps I’m sure.
-THE ROSE GARDEN... Hans notices her white streak.
(about her white streak)
What’s this?
I was born with it, although I
dreamt I was kissed by a troll.
I like it.
Anna teaches Hans how to eat krumkake.
Yeah, the whole thing! You got it.
They laugh as the krumkake crumbles in his face.
Okay wait, wait. So you have how
many brothers?
Twelve older brothers. Three of
them pretended I was invisible...
literally...for two years.
That’s horrible.
It’s what brothers do.
...And sisters. Elsa and I were
really close when we were little.
But then, one day she just shut me 
out, and I never knew why.
He takes her hand. Leans in close.
I would never shut you out.
Okay, can I just say something
I love crazy.
“Love is an Open Door”
I was thinking the same thing,
because like. . .
FROZEN - J. Lee 25
They jump to the neighboring balcony and enter a door.
They come out on top of one of the castle’s towers.
Cut to them sliding across an empty hallway in their socks.
They hop up on the castle roof and watch a shooting star.
FROZEN - J. Lee 26
That's what I was gonna say!
They slide down the back of the roof out of sight.
 We next find them strutting on a bridge ledge.
Jinx.. . .jinx again.
Are they doing the robot? No. They’re imitating the
mechanical figures on the clock tower.
Anna and Hans dance on top of the lighthouse and cast dancing
shadows across the sails of ships in the docks.
- J. Lee 27BOTH
play hide and seek amongst the stable doors.
They climb to the waterfall looking out over the kingdom.
Anna raises up her hands to frame the moon. Hans puts his
hands on top of hers. Together their hands form a heart.
Can I say something crazy...? Will
you marry me?
Can I just say something even
crazier? Yes.
Anna pushes through the crowd towards Elsa, Hans in tow.
Oops! Pardon. Sorry. Can we just
get around you there? Thank you.
Oh, there she is. Elsa!
Elsa turns to Anna. Anna curtseys awkwardly.
I mean...Queen.... Me again. Um.
May I present Prince Hans of the
Southern Isles.
Your Majesty.
Elsa gives a polite but reserved curtsey.
We would like--
--your blessing--
--our marriage!
I’m sorry, I’m confused.
Well, we haven’t worked out all the
details ourselves. We’ll need a few
days to plan the ceremony. Of
course we’ll have soup, roast, and
ice cream and then--
Wait. Would we live here?
Oh, we can invite all twelve of
your brothers to stay with us--
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Of course we have the room. I don’t
know. Some of them must--
Wait. Slow down. No one’s brothers
are staying here. No one is getting
Wait, what?
May I talk to you, please. Alone.
Anna sees Hans’s worried face. Hooks arms with him.
No. Whatever you have to say, youyou
can say to both of us.
Fine. You can’t marry a man you
just met.
You can if it’s true love.
Anna, what do you know about true
More than you. All you know is how
to shut people out.
You asked for my blessing, but my
answer is no. Now, excuse me.
Your Majesty, if I may ease your--
No, you may not. And I-I think you
should go.
Elsa walks away. As she passes the Royal Handler--
The party is over. Close the gates.
What? Elsa, no. No, wait!
Anna grabs Elsa’s hand. She pulls off Elsa’s glove. Elsa
gasps, spins around and reaches for the glove in panic.
Give me my glove!
Anna holds the glove away from Elsa.
Elsa, please. Please. I can’t live
like this anymore.
Elsa fights tears.
...Then leave.
Elsa sees Anna’s hurt face. It’s too much. She can’t hold it
in. She turns and rushes away.
...What did I ever do to you?!
The party goes silent as everyone watches the sisters.
Enough, Anna.
No. Why? Why do you shut me out?!
Why do you shut the world out?!
What are you so afraid of?!
I said, enough!
FROZEN - J. Lee 31Ice shoots from Elsa’s hand, spikes across the floor! Guests
cry out in shock, back away.
(ducking behind his men)
...Sorcery. I knew there was
something dubious going on here.
Elsa rushes out of the room.
Elsa bursts out of the castle door. The CITIZENS CHEER!
There she is. Your Majesty! Long
live the Queen! Queen Elsa.... Come
drink with us.
Elsa ducks through the crowd, holding her bare hand.
Queen Elsa.
Your Majesty? Are you all right?
Elsa backs away from the baby. She knocks into the fountain,
grabs its edge. The waters freeze at her touch.
GASPS of shock and fear sweep over the crowd.
The Duke and thugs come out the door.
There she is! Stop her!
(to the Duke)
Please, just stay away from me.
Stay away!
 Magic accidentally shoots from her hand and turns the
staircase into ice. The thugs and the Duke fall.
Monster.... Monster!
FROZEN - J. Lee 32The crowd panics.
A snowstorm begins. Elsa flees.
Anna runs out of the palace doors, carrying the glove.
Hans follows closely behind her.
GATES TO THE KINGDOM: Elsa runs out of the gates and down to
the water’s edge. The shoreline freezes under her feet.
Anna calls to her from the gates.
Elsa! Wait, please!
Elsa glances back at Anna, but turns away. She tentatively
steps out onto the fjord. It freezes instantly. She breaks
into a run, as the water freezes over with each step.
 Elsa, stop!
Anna rushes out onto the fjord ice, slips, falls.
Hans rushes to Anna’s side.
Elsa reaches the far shore. She doesn’t look back. She just
scrambles into the mountains.
Look.... The fjord.
The ice spreads out until the entire fjord is frozen, locking
the ships in place.
Snow falls. Hans and Anna move through the panicking crowd.
Snow? It’ July.
...Are you all right?
(in shock)
Did you know?
Nearby, the Duke flutters about in fright.
Look! It’s snowing! It’s snowing!
The Queen has cursed this land! She
must be stopped!
(to his thugs)
You have to go after her.
Anna rushes up to the Duke.
Wait, no!
The Duke hides behind his thugs and points out at Anna.
You! Is there sorcery in you, too?
Are you a monster, too?
No. No. I’m completely ordinary.
That’s right she is...
(realizing how that
sounds) the best way.
...And my sister’s not a monster.
She nearly killed me.
You slipped on ice.
Her ice!
It was an accident. She was scared.
She didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean
any of this.... Tonight was my
fault. I pushed her. So I’m the one
that needs to go after her.
Yes. Fine. Do.
(to the Royal Handler)
Bring me my horse, please.
Anna, no. It’s too dangerous.
Elsa’s not dangerous. I’ll bring
her back, and I’ll make this right.
The Royal Handler brings Anna her horse and a cloak.
I’m coming with you.
No, I need you here to take care of
He sees the desperation in her eyes.
...On my honor.
She throws on the cloak and hops right onto the horse,
coronation dress and all.
 (to the crowd)
I leave Prince Hans in charge!
(before letting her go)
Are you sure you can trust her? I
don’t want you getting hurt.
She’s my sister; she would never
hurt me.
FROZEN - J. Lee 35She snaps the reins and rides out. Hans watches after her.
The snow picks up and overtakes our view. We push through a
blizzard...lose our way...then finds ourselves...
Well above the snow-line, a small figure climbs the highest
peak. It’s Elsa. Finally, she stops, looks around. Catches
her breath and sings...
“Let It Go”
Elsa takes off her glove and throws it into the air.
Elsa creates a snowman, just like the one she made with Anna
when they were children.
Elsa lets her cape fly back into the wind.
Elsa creates ice steps and climbs them.
Elsa slams her foot down and forms a giant snowflake.
In a flurry of creative release, she raises the snowflake on
ice beams, builds walls, archways, a glistening chandelier,
and an intricate ceiling that leaves the sky visible.
firmly in her mighty ice palace, Elsa removes her
crown and throws it.
(back to resolve)
She takes down her hair and creates a new dress made of ice.
The sun rises. Elsa struts onto out onto a balcony and into
the light. She’s free.
She turns and slams her ice palace door on us.
Anna rides her horse through two feet of snow. She shivers.
Elsa! Elsa! It’s me, Anna...your
sister who didn’t mean to make you
freeze the summer. I’m sorry. It’s
all my f-f-f-f-f-f-fault.
LATER: Anna and the horse struggle through a wooded area.
(hearing a wolf howl)
Of course, none of this would have
happened if she’d just told me her
secret...ha...she’s a stinker.
A branch of a nearby tree snaps and startles the horse. Anna
goes flying off, lands face down in the snow. She sits up.
Spits out snow. Sees the horse running away.
Oh no. No. No. No. Come back. No.
No. No. No.... Oooo-kay.
 He doesn’t come back. Anna grabs onto a branch of a leaning
conifer, tries to pull herself to her feet, but the tree
snaps upright and releases all its snow onto her. GROAN.


The Northern Lights shine as Anna struggles, out of breath,
reaching the top of a hill.
Snow, it had to be snow, she
couldn’t have had tr-tr-tropical
magic that covered the f-f-fjords
in white sand and warm --
She sees smoke rising up in the distance.
Fire! WHOA!
Anna goes tumbling down the hill. She lands with a crash in
an icy stream at the bottom.
(from inside the snowball)
Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold...
Anna shuffles up to the building, her dress frozen stiff. She
shakes the snow off a sign and reads:
Wandering Oaken’s Trading Post.
Snow drops off a smaller sign. She reads it, happily.
Ooh! And Sauna...
Anna steps cautiously through the door--which hits her frozen
butt and knocks her into the center of the shop. She looks
around, sees only summer supplies.
Hoo hoo.
Anna turns to see a bright-faced fellow sitting low behind
the counter, fingers tapping tip to tip.
Big summer blow out. Half off
swimming suits, clogs, and a sun
balm of my own invention, yah?
 Oh, great. For now, how about
boots. Winter boots...and dresses?
 (slight disappointment)
That would be in our winter
The winter department contains one outfit, a pick ax, and a
lonely pair of boots.
Oh. Um, I was just wondering; has
another young woman, the Queen
 perhaps, I don’t know, passed
through here?
She brings the clothes and boots to the counter.


Only one crazy enough to be out in
this storm is you, dear?
The front door suddenly blows open and in walks a mass of a
man covered in ice. Underneath is KRISTOFF.
You and this fellow.... Hoo hoo.
Big summer blow out.
Kristoff walks right up to Anna.
(in her face)
Behind you.
Oh, right. Excuse me.
Anna moves out of Kristoff’s way. He grabs a bunch of
carrots, tosses them on the counter, then moves through the
place, gathering other supplies.
(to Kristoff)
A real howler in July, yah? Where
ever could it be coming from?
The North Mountain.
(to herself)
North Mountain.
Kristoff brings his supplies to the counter. Oaken counts on
his fingertips.
That’ll be forty.
Forty? No, ten.
(sweet as pie)
Oh dear, that’s no good. See these
are from our winter stock, where
 supply and demand have a big
You want to talk about a supply and
demand problem? I sell ice for a
Kristoff motions out the window, where we see the blocks of
ice on his sled, covered in snow.
Ooh, that’s a rough business to be
in right now. I mean, that is
(he shoots her a look)
Ahem. That’s unfortunate.
Still forty. But I will throw in a
visit to Oaken’s sauna. Hoo hoo!
Hi, family.
Kristoff and Anna turn to see a naked family waving through
the window of the steaming sauna.
Hoo hoo!
...Ten’s all I got. Help me out.
(isolating the carrots)
Ten will get you this and no more.
Kristoff seethes. Stalemate.
Okay, just tell me one thing; what
was happening on the North
Mountain? Did it seem magical?
Kristoff pulls down his scarf and gives Anna a firm answer.
Yes! Now, back up while I deal with
this crook here.
Oaken stands up, revealing his seven-foot stature.
What did you call me?
Oaken stomps out the door, carrying Kristoff with one arm.
Okay. Okay, I’m- Ow! Whoa!
Oaken throws Kristoff, who face-plants in the snow.
Bye bye.
Oaken slams the door. Kristoff sits up. His reindeer, Sven,
canters over, snorts, and nudges him, expectantly.
No Sven, I didn’t get your carrots.
Sven huffs in his face. Kristoff turns away and sees
something. He points to a dilapidated barn.
But I did find us a place to sleep.
And it’s free.
Anna stands watching Oaken and all his great height as he
squeezes behind the counter and sits down low again.
(teddy bear)
I’m sorry about this violence. I
will add a quart of lutefisk, so
we’ll have good feelings. Just the
outfit and boots, yah?
FROZEN - J. Lee 42Anna looks between Kristoff’s supplies and the door.
Kristoff, now unfrozen, relaxes on a bed of hay, playing his
lute and singing to (and for) Sven.
”Reindeer(s) are Better than People”
(throwing his voice)
Oh, thanks, Buddy.
(singing, as Kristoff)
(As Sven)
(As Kristoff)
(As Sven)
(As Kristoff)

i solemnly swear i am up to no good

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Scene 1: Doorstep Delivery.
LOCATION: Privet Drive - night
DUMBLEDORE: I should have known that you would be here, Professor McGonagall.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumors
true, Albus?
DUMBLEDORE: I'm afraid so, Professor. The good, and the bad.
DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid is bringing him.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as
important as this?
DUMBLEDORE: Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life.
HAGRID: Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall, ah.
DUMBLEDORE: No problems I trust, Hagrid?
HAGRID: No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol.
Try not to wake ‘im. There yeh go.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Albus, do you really think it's safe leaving him with
these people? I've watched them all day. There're the worst sort of Muggles
imaginable! They really areDUMBLEDORE:
...the only family he has.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This boy will be famous. There won't be a child in our
world who doesn't know his name.
DUMBLEDORE: Exactly. He's far better off growing up away from all of thatuntil
he is ready.
HAGRID: (Sniff) Ah.
DUMBLEDORE: There, there, Hagrid. It's not really goodbye, after all. Good
luck, Harry Potter.
Scene 2: Vanishing Glass.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – the Cupboard under the Stairs - morning
AUNT PETUNIA: Up! Get up! Now!
DUDLEY: Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha!
AUNT PETUNIA: Oh! Here he comes, the birthday boy!
UNCLE VERNON: Happy Birthday, son.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Kitchen - morning
AUNT PETUNIA: Why don't you just cook the breakfast, and try not to burn
HARRY: Yes, Aunt Petunia.
AUNT PETUNIA: I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day!
UNCLE VERNON: Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy!
HARRY: Yes, Uncle Vernon.
AUNT PETUNIA: Aren't they wonderful, darling? Ahh!
DUDLEY: How many are there?
UNCLE VERNON: Thirty-six. Counted them myself.
DUDLEY: Thirty-six?! But last year, last year I had thirty-seven!!!
UNCLE VERNON: Yes, but some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year's!
DUDLEY: I don't care how big they are!
AUNT PETUNIA: Now, now, now, this is what we're going to do, is that when we
go out, we're going to buy you two new presents. How's that pumpkin?
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – driveway - daytime AUNT PETUNIA: It should be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking
forward to it.
UNCLE VERNON: I'm warning you now, boy. Any funny business- any at all- and
you won't have any meals for a week! Get in.
LOCATION: Zoo – Reptile House exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Zoo – Reptile House interior - daytime
DUDLEY: Make it move.
HARRY: He's asleep.
DUDLEY: He's boring.
HARRY: Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day
after day, watching people press their ugly faces in on you. Can you hear me?
It's just- I've never talked to a snake before. Do you- only, do you talk to
people often? You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there? Do you miss
your family? I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either.
DUDLEY: Mummy, Dad, come here! You won't believe what this snake is doing!
Woah! Woah! Ah!
SNAKE: Thanksss.
HARRY: Any time.
OTHER: Snake!
OTHERS: Ahh! Aeee!
DUDLEY: Mum! Mummy! Help! Help! Help me! Help me!
AUNT PETUNIA: My darling boy! How did you get in there! Who did this? How did
you get in there? Is there a snake? Is there a snake?
Scene 3: Letters from No One.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – entryway
AUNT PETUNIA: It's all right, sweetheart. We'll get you out of these terrible
UNCLE VERNON: What happened!?
HARRY: I swear, I don't know!
HARRY: One minute the glass was there, and then it was gone. It was like
UNCLE VERNON: There's no such thing as magic!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – roof - morning
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – entryway - morning
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Kitchen - morning
UNCLE VERNON: Oh, Marge’s ill. Ate a funny whelk.
DUDLEY: Dad! Look! Harry's got a letter!
HARRY: Hey, give it back! It's mine!
UNCLE VERNON: Yours? Who'd be writing to you?
HARRY: (gulp)
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – entryway - daytime
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – the Cupboard under the Stairs - daytime UNCLE VERNON: No more mail through this letterbox.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – driveway - morning
AUNT PETUNIA: Have a lovely day at the office, dear. (kiss)
UNCLE VERNON: Shoo! Go on!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – living room - night
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – living room - daytime
UNCLE VERNON: Fine day, Sunday; in my opinion, best day of the week. Why is
that, Dudley?
HARRY: Because there's no post on Sundays?
UNCLE VERNON: Right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Ha! No blasted letters
today! No, sir! Not one single bloody letter! Not one! No sir, not one
blasted, miserableDUDLEY:
Uh! Ahh! Make it stop. Please make it, make it stop! Please!
UNCLE VERNON: Stop it! Stop it! Argh!
DUDLEY: Please! Uh-huhh!
AUNT PETUNIA: Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahhhh!
DUDLEY: Mummy, what's happening? Please tell me what’s happening? Get away
from it!
UNCLE VERNON: Ahh! Give me that! Give me that letter!
HARRY: Get off!
HARRY: They're my letters! Let go of me!
UNCLE VERNON: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find
DUDLEY: Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?
Scene 4: Keeper of the Keys.
LOCATION: House on the Rock – exterior – stormy night
LOCATION: House on the Rock – living room - night
HARRY: Make a wish, Harry.
UNCLE VERNON: Who's there?
HAGRID: Sorry abou’ that.
UNCLE VERNON: I demand that you leave at once, sir. You are breaking and
HAGRID: Dry up, Dursley, yeh great prune. Boy, I haven't seen you since you
was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected;
particularly around the middle. Heh, heh.
DUDLEY: Ah, I'm not... I'm not Harry.
HARRY: I- I am.
HAGRID: Well, of course you are! Got somethin’ fer yeh. ‘Fraid I might have
sat on it at some point, but I imagine it'll taste fine just the same, ah.
Ahh, baked it myself, words and all.
HARRY: Thank you!
HAGRID: It's not everyday your young man turns eleven, now it is? Eh?
HARRY: Excuse me, but who are you?
HAGRID: Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course,
you’ll know all about Hogwarts.
HARRY: Sorry, no. HAGRID: No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder how your mum and dad
learned it all?
HARRY: Learnt what?
HAGRID: You're a wizard, Harry.
HARRY: I- I'm a what?
HAGRID: A wizard. And a thumpin' good un, I'd wager, once you're trained up a
HARRY: No, you've made a mistake. I mean, I... can't be a, a, a wizard... I
mean, I'm... just... Harry. Just Harry!
HAGRID: Well, "Just Harry", did you ever make anything happen? Anything you
couldn't explain, when you were angry... or, or scared? Um- hum.
DUDLEY: Oh, huh, huh...
HARRY: “Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been
accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”
UNCLE VERNON: He will not be going, I tell you! We swore when we took him in
that we’d put a stop to all of this rubbish!
HARRY: You knew? You knew all along and you never told me?
AUNT PETUNIA: Of course, we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister
being who she was? Oh, my mother and father were so proud the day she got her
letter. ‘We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful?’ I was the only
one to see her for what she was- a freak! And then she met that Potter, and
then she had you, and I knew you would be the same, just as strange, just
as...abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up,
and we got landed with you.
HARRY: Blown up?! You told me my parents died in a car crash!
HAGRID: A car crash? A car crash kill Lily and James Potter?
AUNT PETUNIA: We had to say something.
HAGRID: It's an outrage! It's a scandal!
UNCLE VERNON: He’ll not be going.
HAGRID: Oh-ho, ho, and I suppose a great Muggle like yerself is gonna stop
HARRY: Muggle?
HAGRID: Non-magic folk. This boy's had ‘is name down since he were born. He's
goin’ to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. And,
he'll be under the finest headmaster that Hogwarts has ever seen, Albus
UNCLE VERNON: I will not pay to have some crack pot old fool teach him magic
HAGRID: Never... insult... Albus Dumbledore... in front of me...
DUDLEY: Ahh! Ahhh! Get it off! Get it off!
HAGRID: Oh, uh- I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts abou’
that. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic.
HAGRID: Oh, ah... we're a bit behind schedule. Best be off- unless you'd
rather stay, o’ course. Hmm.
Scene 5: Diagon Alley.
LOCATION: London – outdoors – daytime
LOCATION: London – street - daytime
HARRY: “All students must be equipped with... one standard size two pewter
cauldron, and may bring, if they desire, either an owl, a cat, or a toad.”
Can we find all this in London? HAGRID: If yeh know where to go.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron - daytime
TOM: Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume?
HAGRID: No thanks, Tom, I'm on official Hogwarts business. Just helping young
Harry, here, buy his school supplies.
TOM: Bless my soul, it's Harry Potter.
OTHER: Welcome back, Mr. Potter! Welcome back!
DORIS CROCKFORD: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you
at last!
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Harry P- P- Potter. C-can't tell you how p- pleased I am
to meet you.
HAGRID: Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor
Quirrell. He’ll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, at Hogwarts.
HARRY: Oh, nice to meet you.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: A fearfully fascinating subject. N- not that you need it,
eh, P- Potter? Huh?
HAGRID: Yes, well, we must be goin’ now. Lots to buy. Huh, huh, huh.
HARRY: Good-bye.
LOCATION: Diagon Alley – entryway - daytime
HAGRID: See, Harry? You're famous!
HARRY: But, why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there- how is it
they know who I am?
HAGRID: I'm not exactly sure I'm the right person to tell you that, Harry.
Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley.
LOCATION: Diagon Alley - daytime
HAGRID: Here's where you get your quills and your ink. And over there, all
your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry.
OTHER: Look! It's a racing broom!
OTHER: Wow! Look at it! The new Nimbus 2000! It's the fastest model yet!
Scene 6: Gringotts.
LOCATION: Diagon Alley - daytime
HARRY: But Hagrid, how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money.
HAGRID: Well, there's your money Harry! Gringotts, the wizard bank! T’ain't
no safer place, not one! 'Cept perhaps Hogwarts.
LOCATION: Gringotts – lobby - daytime
HARRY: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly are these things?
HAGRID: They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come, goblins, but not the
most friendly of beasts. Best stay close. Ahem...Mr. Harry Potter wishes to
make a withdrawal.
GOBLIN: Ah- and does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?
HAGRID: Oh, uh- wait a minute, got it here somewhere. Ha! There's the little
devil. Oh, and there's something else, as well. Professor Dumbledore gave me
this. It's about You-Know-What, in vault You-Know-Which.
GOBLIN: Very well.
LOCATION: Gringotts - underground - dark
GRIPHOOK: Vault six hundred and eighty-seven. Lamp, please. Key, please.
LOCATION: Gringotts – vault six hundred and eighty-seven
HAGRID: Ya didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing, now
did you? ----------
LOCATION: Gringotts – vault seven hundred and thirteen - dark
GRIPHOOK: Vault seven hundred and thirteen.
HARRY: What's in there, Hagrid?
HAGRID: Can't tell you, Harry. Hogwarts business. Very secret.
GRIPHOOK: Stand back.
HAGRID: Best not to mention this to anyone, Harry.
Scene 7: Ollivanders.
LOCATION: Diagon Alley - daytime
HARRY: I still need... a wand.
HAGRID: A wand? Well, you want Ollivanders. There ain't no place better. Why
don't you run along there and wait. I’ve got one more thing to do. Won't be
LOCATION: Ollivanders Wand Shop - daytime
HARRY: Hello? Hello?
MR. OLLIVANDER: I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only
yesterday that you mother and father were in here buying their first wands.
Ah... here we are. Well, give it a wave. Apparently not! Perhaps...this? No,
no, definitely not. No matter. I wonder... Curious... very curious.
HARRY: S-sorry, but what's curious?
MR. OLLIVANDER: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It so
happens that the phoenix whose tail feather resides in your wand gave another
feather. Just one other. It is curious that you should be destined for this
wand, when its brother gave you that scar.
HARRY: And who owned that wand?
MR. OLLIVANDER: We do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr.
Potter. It’s not always clear why. But, I think it is clear that we can
expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great
things. Terrible, yes. But great.
HAGRID: Harry. Harry! Happy Birthday!
Scene 8: The Boy Who Lived.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron - daytime
HAGRID: You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet.
HARRY: He killed my parents didn't he? The one who gave me this. You know,
Hagrid. I know you do.
HAGRID: First, and understand this, Harry, because it's very important. Not
all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago, there was one
wizard that went as bad as you can go. And his name was V-. His name was V-.
HARRY: Well, maybe if you wrote it down?
HAGRID: Nah, I can't spell it. All right... Voldemort.
HARRY: Voldemort?
HAGRID: Shh! It was dark times, Harry, dark times.
LOCATION: Godric’s Hollow - Potter house – exterior - night
HAGRID: (voiceover) Voldemort started to gather some followers. Brought ‘em
over to the Dark Side. Anyone who stood up to him ended up dead.
LOCATION: Godric’s Hollow - Potter house – interior - night
HAGRID: (voiceover) Your parents fought against ‘im. But nobody lived once he
decided to kill ‘em.
---------- LOCAITON: Godric’s Hollow - Potter house – exterior – night
LOCATION: Godric’s Hollow - Potter house – interior - night
HAGRID: (voiceover) Nobody, not one. ‘Cept you.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron - daytime
HARRY: Me? Voldemort tried to kill... me?
HAGRID: Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like
that only comes from being touched by a curse, and an evil curse at that.
HARRY: What happened to V-... to You-Know-Who?
HAGRID: Well, some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Nope, I reckon
he's out there still. Too tired to carry on. But one thing's absolutely
certain. Somethin’ about you stumped him that night. That's why you're
famous. That's why everybody knows your name. You're ‘The Boy Who Lived!’
Scene 9: Platform 9- 3/4.
LOCATION: London – King’s Cross Station - daytime
HAGRID: What’re you lookin’ at? Blimey, is that time!? Sorry, Harry, but I'm
gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore would be wantin’ his... Well, he'll be
wantin’ to see me. Now, your train leaves in ten minutes. Here's your ticket.
Stick to it Harry, that's very important. Stick to your ticket.
HARRY: Platform nine and three-quarters? But, Hagrid, there must be a
mistake. This says Platform nine and three-quarters. There's no such thing,
is there?
LOCATION: London - King’s Cross Station - Train platform - daytime
OTHER: Sorry.
HARRY: Excuse me! Excuse me!
STATION GUARD: On your left, Madam.
HARRY: Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where I might find Platform nine and
STATION GUARD: Nine and three-quarters? Think you're being funny, do ya? Nine
and three-quarters...
MRS. WEASLEY: It's the same every year. Packed with Muggles, of course. Come
HARRY: Muggles?
MRS. WEASLEY: Platform nine and three-quarters, this way! All right, Percy,
you first. Fred, you next.
GEORGE: He's not Fred, I am!
FRED: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother!
MRS. WEASLEY: Oh, I’m sorry, George.
FRED: I’m only joking! I am Fred!
HARRY: Excuse me! C- could you tell me... how to...
MRS. WEASLEY: How to get onto the platform? Yes, not to worry, dear. It's
Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. Now, all you’ve got to do is walk
straight at the wall between platforms nine and ten. Best do it at a bit of a
run if you're nervous.
GINNY: Good luck!
Scene 10: Ron and Hermione.
LOCATION: Platform nine and three-quarters - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior - daytime ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior – compartment - daytime
RON: Excuse me, do you mind? Everywhere else is full.
HARRY: Not at all.
RON: I'm Ron, by the way! Ron Weasley.
HARRY: I'm Harry. Harry Potter.
RON: So, so it's true! I mean, do you really have the... the...
HARRY: The what?
RON: The scar?
HARRY: Oh! Yeah...
RON: Wicked!
FOOD TROLLEY LADY: Anything off the trolley, dears?
RON: No, thanks, I'm all set.
HARRY: We'll take the lot!
RON: Woah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior – compartment - daytime
HARRY: “Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans?”
RON: They mean every flavor! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there’s
also spinach, liver, and tripe. George sweared he got boogie-flavored one
HARRY: These aren't real frogs, are they?
RON: It's just a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want. Each pack's got a
famous witch or wizard. I’ve got about five hundred meself. Watch it! Aw,
that's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with.
HARRY: I've got Dumbledore!
RON: I've got about six of him.
HARRY: Hey, he's gone!
RON: Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? This is
Scabbers, by the way. Pathetic, isn't he?
HARRY: Just a little bit.
RON: Fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. Want to see?
HARRY: Yeah!
RON: Ahem... “Sun-”
HERMIONE: Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one.
RON: No.
HERMIONE: Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.
RON: Ahem. “Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat
HERMIONE: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it?
Of course, I've only tried a few simple ones myself. But they've all worked
for me. For example: “Oculus reparo.” That's better, isn't it? Holy cricket!
You're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger. And... you are...?
RON: I'm Ron Weasley.
HERMIONE: Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be
arriving soon. You've got dirt on your nose, by the way. Did you know? Just
Scene 11: Welcome to Hogwarts.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Train platform - night
HAGRID: Right, then. Firs’ years this way, please! Come on, now! Firs’ years!
Don't be shy. Come on now, hurry up! Come on! Hello, Harry!
HARRY: Hi, Hagrid!
RON: Woah! HAGRID: Right, then. This way to the boats. Come on, now. Follow me.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Black Lake – exterior - night
RON: Wicked!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entry staircase - night
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments you will
pass through these doors and join your classmates, but before you take your
seats, you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff,
Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Now while you're here, your house will be like your
family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking, and you will
lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is
awarded the house cup.
NEVILLE: Trevor! Sorry.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: The Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily.
DRACO: It's true then, what they were saying on the train. Harry Potter has
come to Hogwarts.
NEVILLE: Harry Potter!
OTHER: Harry Potter...
DRACO: This is Crabbe, and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.
RON: Heh- heh...
DRACO: Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask you yours. Red hair, and
a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley. You'll soon find out that some
wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go
making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.
HARRY: I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: We're ready for you now. Follow me.
Scene 12: Sorting Hat.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Start of Term Feast - night
HERMIONE: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the
night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, will you wait along here, please. Now... before we
begin, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words.
DUMBLEDORE: I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. The first
years please note that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students.
Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you that the third
floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does
not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, when I call your name you will come forth, I shall
place the Sorting Hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses.
Hermione Granger!
HERMIONE: Oh, no. OK, relax.
RON: Mental that one, I'm telling you.
SORTING HAT: Ah, right then. Humm... right. Okay, Gryffindor!
SORTING HAT: Slytherin!
RON: There's not a witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin.
RON: Harry, what is it?
HARRY: Nothing. Nothing, I'm fine.
SORTING HAT: ...where shall I put you? Let's see... I know! Hufflepuff!
SORTING HAT: Ha! Another Weasley! I know just what to do with you...
Gryffindor! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Harry Potter.
SORTING HAT: Hmmm... Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not
a bad mind, either. There's talent. Oh yes, and a prove yourself.
But, where to put you...
HARRY: Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!
SORTING HAT: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know.
It's all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on the way to
greatness, there's no doubt about that. No?
HARRY: (whispering) Please, please, anything but Slytherin, anything but
SORTING HAT: Well, if you're sure, better be... Gryffindor!
Scene 13: Nick and Other Residents.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Great Hall – Start of Term feast – night - later
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Your attention, please.
DUMBLEDORE: Let the feast begin!
SEAMUS: I'm half-and-half. Me dad's a Muggle, Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty
shock for him when he found out!
HARRY: Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?
PERCY: Oh, Professor Snape, head of Slytherin house.
HARRY: What's he teach?
PERCY: Potions. But, everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been
after Quirrell's job for years.
RON: Ah!
SIR NICHOLAS: Hello! How are you? Welcome to Gryffindor!
HOGWARTS GHOSTS: Oo-ha-ha... Oooohooo!
OTHER: It's the Bloody Baron!
PERCY: Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have a nice summer?
SIR NICHOLAS: Dismal. Once again, my request to join the Headless Hunt has
been denied.
RON: I know you! You're Nearly Headless Nick!
SIR NICHOLAS: I prefer Sir Nicholas, if you don't mind.
HERMIONE: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?
SIR NICHOLAS: Like this.
RON: Ah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moving staircase - night
PERCY: Gryffindors, follow me, please. Keep up. Thank you.
OTHER: Ravenclaw, follow me. This way.
PERCY: This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye
on the staircases, they like to change. Keep up, please, and follow me.
Quickly now, come on. Come on.
OTHER: Jeez! That picture's moving!
OTHER: Look at that one, Harry.
OTHER: I think she fancies you.
OTHER: Look, look!
OTHER: Oh, who's that girl?
PORTRAIT: Welcome to Hogwarts!
OTHER: Who’s that?
FAT LADY: Password?
PERCY: Caput Draconis.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - night
PERCY: Follow me, everyone. Keep up. Quickly, come on! Gather around here.
Welcome to the Gryffindor common room. Boys' dormitories are upstairs and down to your left. Girls the same on your right. You'll find all your
belongings have already been brought up.
Scene 14: Potions and Parcels.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - morning
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Transfiguration classroom - daytime
RON: Whew! We made it! Can you imagine the look on ol’ McGonagall's face if
we were late? That was bloody brilliant!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh, thank-you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps
it would be more useful if I transfigured Mr. Potter and yourself into a
pocket watch? That way one of you might be on time.
HARRY: We got lost.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Then, perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find
your seats.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Potions dungeon - daytime
SNAPE: There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this
class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science
and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few who
possess the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and
ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even
put a stopper in death. Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts
in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to
not pay attention. Mr. Potter... our new celebrity. Tell me, what would I get
if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? You don't
know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you
to find me a bezoar?
HARRY: I- I don't know, sir.
SNAPE: And, what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?
HARRY: I don't know, sir.
SNAPE: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - daytime
SEAMUS: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum...Eye of
rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum.
HARRY: What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?
RON: Turn it to rum. Actually, he managed a weak tea yesterday, before- Ah,
mail's here.
HARRY: Can I borrow this? Thanks.
DEAN THOMAS: Hey, look! Neville's got a Remembrall!.
HERMIONE: I've read about those. When the smoke turns red, it means you've
forgotten something.
NEVILLE: The only problem is, I can't remember what I have forgotten.
HARRY: Hey, Ron, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen: ‘Believed to be the
work of Dark wizards or witches unknown, Gringotts goblins, while
acknowledging the breach, insist nothing was taken. The vault in question,
number seven one three, had been emptied earlier that very same day.’ That's
odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to.
Scene 15: New Seeker.
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
MADAM HOOCH: Good afternoon, class.
OTHERS: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.
MADAM HOOCH: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon. Welcome to your first
flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left
side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over
the broom and say “Up!”
RON: Up. Up!
MADAM HOOCH: With feeling!
HERMIONE: Up. Up! Up. Up!
RON: Up! Ow!
HARRY: Heh, heh.
RON: Shut up, Harry.
MADAM HOOCH: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it,
and grip it tight. You don't want to be sliding off the end. When I blow my
whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your
broom steady, hover for a moment, then lean forward slightly, and touch back
down. On my whistle...three, two...(tweet). Mr. Longbottom...Mis- Mis- MisMister
Long-...Mister Longbottom!
OTHERS: Down! Down!
HARRY: Neville!
NEVILLE: Help! Help!
MADAM HOOCH: Come back down this instant! Mr. Longbottom!
NEVILLE: Ooo! Ahh! Oooh! Ah!
MADAM HOOCH: Mister Longbot...
NEVILLE: Oooh! Whoa! Ugh! Ow!
HERMIONE: Is he all right?
MADAM HOOCH: Everyone, out of the way!
NEVILLE: Ow, ow, ow...
MADAM HOOCH: Oh, oh, oh. Oh, dear, it's a broken wrist. Poor boy. Come on
now, up you get. Everyone is to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I
take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom
in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before
they can say "Quidditch".
DRACO: Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze,
he would’ve remembered to fall on his fat arse.
HARRY: Give it here, Malfoy.
DRACO: No, I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. How about
on the roof? What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?
HERMIONE: Harry! No way! You heard what Madame Hooch said. Besides, you don't
even know how to fly! What an idiot!
HARRY: Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!
DRACO: Is that so? Have it your way, then!
OTHER: Nice going, Harry!
OTHER: That was wicked, Harry!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Harry Potter! Follow me.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor outside DADA classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: ...this is an ingredient in... PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Professor Quirrell, excuse me. Excuse me, could I
borrow Wood for a moment, please?
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Well, yes of course.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood, I have found you a
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - daytime
SIR NICHOLAS: Have you heard? Harry Potter's the new Gryffindor Seeker. I
always knew he'd do well!
RON: Seeker? But, first years never make the house teams! You must be the
youngest Quidditch player in...
HARRY: ...a century. According to McGonagall.
GEORGE: Well done, Harry! Wood's just told us!
RON: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.
FRED: Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't
make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch.
GEORGE: Brutal! But, no one's died in years. Someone will vanish,
FRED: But, they'll turn up in a month or two!
RON: Oh, go on, Harry! Quidditch is great. Best game there is, and you'll be
great, too!
HARRY: But, I've never even played Quidditch! What if I make a fool of
HERMIONE: You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Trophy Room - daytime
RON: Whoa! Harry, you never told me your father was a seeker, too!
HARRY: I... didn't know.
Scene 16: Three-headed Sentinel.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moving staircase
RON: I'm telling you, it's spooky! She knows more about you than you do!
HARRY: Who doesn't? What's happening?
HERMIONE: The staircases change, remember?
HARRY: Let's go this way.
RON: Before the staircase moves again!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – third floor corridor - dark
RON: Does anybody feel like we shouldn't be here?
HERMIONE: We're not supposed to be here. This is the third floor. It's
HARRY: Let's go.
HERMIONE: It’s Filch's cat!
HARRY: Run! Quick, let's hide through that door! It's locked!
RON: That's it, we're done for!
HERMIONE: Oh! Move over! Alohomora! Get in!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – trapdoor room - dark
RON: Alohomora?
HERMIONE: Standard Book Of Spells- Chapter Seven!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – third floor corridor - dark
FILCH: Any one here, my sweet? Come on.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – trapdoor room - dark
HERMIONE: Filch’s gone... RON: He probably thinks this door is locked.
HERMIONE: It was locked.
HARRY: And for good reason.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – third floor corridor - dark
RON: What do they think they're doing? Keeping a thing like that locked up in
a school?
HERMIONE: You don't use your eyes do you? Didn't you see what it was standing
RON: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or
maybe you didn't notice... there were three!
HERMIONE: It was standing on a trap door. Which means, it wasn't there by
accident. It's guarding something.
HARRY: Guarding something?
HERMIONE: That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before
either of you come up with another clever idea to get killed, or worse...
RON: She needs to sort out her priorities.
Scene 17: Facts and Feathers.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
WOOD: Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each team has seven players.
Three Chasers, two Beaters, one Keeper, and the Seeker... that's you. There
are three kinds of balls. This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the Chasers
handle the Quaffle, and try to put it through one of those three hoops. The
Keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. With me so far?
HARRY: I think so. What are those?
WOOD: You’d better take this. Careful now, it's coming back. Uh, not bad,
Potter! You'd make a fair Beater. Uh-oh.
HARRY: What was that?
WOOD: Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But you... are a Seeker. The only thing
I want you to worry about is this, the Golden Snitch.
HARRY: I like this ball.
WOOD: Ah, you like it now. But just wait. It's wicked fast, and damn near
impossible to see.
HARRY: What do I do with it?
WOOD: You catch it. Before the other team's Seeker. You catch this, the
game's over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.
HARRY: Woah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Charms classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR FLITWICK: One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation,
or the ability to make objects fly. Ah, do you have your feathers? Good. Now,
uh, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practicing. Hum! The
"Swish and Flick". Everyone, the "Swish and Flick". Good! Oh, and enunciate!
Wingardium leviosa. Off you go, then!
OTHERS: Wingardium leviosa... Wingardium leviosa!
RON: Wingardium leviosa!
HERMIONE: No, stop, stop, stop! You're going to take someone's eye out!
Besides, you're saying it wrong. It's “levi-o-sa”, not “levio-sar”.
RON: You do it then, if you're so clever. Go on, go on!
HERMIONE: Wingardium leviosa.
PROFESSOR FLITWICK: Ho, oh! Well done! See here, everyone! Miss Granger's
done it! Ho-ho! Splendid!
SEAMUS: Wingard-leviosa... PROFESSOR FLITWICK: Well done, dear.
SEAMUS: Wingard- leviosa (boom).
HARRY: I think we're going to need another feather over here, Professor.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside - daytime
RON: "It's levi-o-sa, not levio-sar." She's a nightmare, honestly! It's no
wonder she hasn't got any friends!
HARRY: I think she heard you.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - decorated for Halloween – stormy night
HARRY: W- where's Hermione?
NEVILLE: Parvati Patil said that she wouldn't come out of the girl's
bathroom. She said that she'd been in there all afternoon, crying.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Troll in the dungeon! Troll in the dungeon! Thought you
ought to know. Hu...
RON: Ahh!
DUMBLEDORE: Silence! Everyone will please not panic! Now, prefects, will lead
their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
OTHER: This way!
PERCY: Gryffindors, keep up, please, and stay alert!
HARRY: How could a troll get in?
RON: Not on its own. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes.
HARRY: Hermione! She doesn't know!
RON: I think the troll's left the dungeon!
HARRY: It's going into the girl's bathroom.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - night
TROLL: Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!
HARRY: Hermione, move!
HERMIONE: Help! Help!
RON: Hey, pea brain!
TROLL: Whar? Arrgh!
HERMIONE: Ahh! Help!
HARRY: Whoa!
RON: Ugh!
HARRY: Whoa! Do something!
RON: What?
HARRY: Anything! Hurry up!
HERMIONE: "Swish & Flick!"
RON: Wingardium Leviosa!
TROLL: Wha... uh... wuh?... ugh!
RON: Cool.
HERMIONE: Is it dead?
HARRY: I don’t think so. Just knocked out.
TROLL: Uhh...
RON: Troll boogies.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh, my goodness! Ex-explain yourselves, both of you!
HARRY, RON: Well, what it is, isHERMIONE:
It's my fault, Professor McGonagall. PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Wha- Miss Granger?
HERMIONE: I went looking for the troll. I've read about them, and I thought I
could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn’t come and found
me... I’d probably be dead.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Be that as it may, it was an extremely foolish thing to
do. I would have expected more rational behavior on your part and I am very
disappointed in you Miss Granger. Five points will be taken from Gryffindor
for your serious lack of judgment. As for you two gentlemen, well, I just
hope you realize how fortunate you are. Not many first year students could
take on a fully-grown mountain troll, and live to tell the tale! Five
points... will be awarded to each of you... for sheer dumb luck.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: P- perhaps you ought to go. It m- might wake up. Huh!
TROLL: Arggh...
Scene 18: Mountain Troll.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - morning
RON: Take a bit of toast, mate. Go on.
HERMIONE: Ron's right, Harry. You're going to need your strength today.
HARRY: I'm not hungry.
SNAPE: Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself
against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you. Even
if it is against Slytherin.
HARRY: That explains the blood.
HARRY: Listen, last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as diversion
so he could try and get past that three-headed dog. But, he got himself
bitten. That's why he's limping.
HERMIONE: But, why would anyone go near that dog?
HARRY: The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the
vaults. Said it was Hogwarts business, very secret.
HERMIONE: So you're saying...
HARRY: That's what the dog's guarding. That's what Snape wants.
HERMIONE: A bit early for mail, isn't it?
HARRY: But, I- I never get mail.
RON: Let's open it.
HARRY: It's a broomstick!
RON: It's not just a broomstick, Harry. It's a Nimbus Two Thousand!
HARRY: But, who-?
Scene 19: Quidditch.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – under the stadium - daytime
WOOD: Scared, Harry?
HARRY: A little.
WOOD: It's alright. I felt the same way before my first game.
HARRY: What happened?
WOOD: I... uh... I don't really remember... Took a Bludger to the head two
minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
LEE JORDAN: Hello! Welcome to Hogwart's first Quidditch game of the season!
Today's game: Slytherin vs. Gryffindor!
CROWD: Yeah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime LEE JORDAN: The players take their positions, as Madam Hooch steps out onto
the field to begin the game!
MADAME HOOCH: Now, I want a nice clean game... from all of you.
LEE JORDAN: The Bludgers are up, followed by the Golden Snitch. Remember, the
Snitch is worth a hundred and fifty points. The Seeker who catches the Snitch
ends the game. The Quaffle is released, and the game begins!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
LEE JORDAN: Angelina Johnson scores! Ten points for Gryffindor!
CROWD: Yeah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
HARRY: Yes! Woah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
HAGRID: Well done!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
LEE JORDAN: Slytherin takes possession of the Quaffle. Bletchley passes to
Captain Marcus Flint.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
OTHERS: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
LEE JORDAN: Another ten points to Gryffindor!
OTHER: Yeah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
MARCUS FLINT: Give me that!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
OTHERS: Booo! Booo!
DRACO: Heh, heh.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
MARCUS FLINT: Take that side!
OTHERS: Booo! Booo! Oh!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
Scene 20: Interference Overcome.
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts - Quidditch Pitch - daytime
HARRY: Whoa!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
HAGRID: What's going on with Harry's broomstick?
HERMIONE: It's Snape! He's jinxing the broom!
RON: Jinxing the broom?! What’ll we do?
HERMIONE: Leave it to me!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
RON: Come on, Hermione!
HERMIONE: Lacarnum inflamarae.
OTHER: Fire! You're on fire!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
HAGRID: Go, go, go, go!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
HARRY: Wha-umph!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
HAGRID: Looks like he's gonna be sick!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch - daytime
HARRY: (pop)
LEE JORDAN: He's got the Snitch! Harry Potter receives one hundred and fifty
points for catching the Snitch!
MADAME HOOCH: (tweet) Gryffindor wins!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stands - daytime
RON: Yeah!
DRACO: Oh, no!
HERMIONE: Whoo-hoo!
OTHERS: Nice fight, Gryffindor! Nice fight, Gryffindor! Nice fight,
Gryffindor! Nice fight, Gryffindor! Nice fight, Gryffindor!
Scene 21: Christmas Gift.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
HAGRID: Nonsense! Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?
HARRY: Who knows? Why was he trying to get past that three-headed dog on
HAGRID: Who told you about Fluffy?
RON: “Fluffy?”
HERMIONE: That thing has a name? HAGRID: Well, of course, he's got a name! He's mine! I bought him off an
Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent ‘im to Dumbledore
to guard the...
HAGRID: I shouldn't have said that. No more questions! Don't ask anymore
questions! That's top-secret, that is.
HARRY: But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it!
HAGRID: Codswallop! Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher!
HERMIONE: Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one! I've read
all about them. You've got to keep eye contact, and Snape wasn't blinking!
HARRY: Exactly.
HAGRID: Now, you listen to me, all three of ya. You're meddlin’ in things
that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous! What that dog is guarding is
strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel.
HARRY: Nicholas Flamel?
HAGRID: I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I shouldn’t
have said that...
HARRY: Nicholas Flamel. Who's Nicholas Flamel?
HERMIONE: I dunno.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – winter snow
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - daytime
HOGWARTS GHOSTS: Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Ring the Hogwart bell.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Cast a Christmas spell.
HARRY: Knight to E-5.
RON: Queen to E-5.
HERMIONE: That's totally barbaric!
RON: That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed.
HERMIONE: See you haven't.
RON: Change of plans. My parents have decided to go to Romania, to visit my
brother Charlie. He's studying dragons there.
HERMIONE: Good. You can help Harry, then. He's going to go and look in the
library for information on Nicholas Flamel.
RON: We've looked a hundred times!
HERMIONE: Not in the Restricted Section. Happy Christmas.
RON: I think we’ve had a bad influence on her.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - morning
RON: Harry, wake up! Come on, Harry! Wake up! Happy Christmas, Harry!
HARRY: Happy Christmas, Ron! What are you wearing?
RON: Oh, me mum made it. Looks like you've got one too.
HARRY: I've got presents?
RON: Yeah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - morning
RON: There they are.
HARRY: "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it
was returned to you. Use it well."
RON: What is it?
HARRY: Some kind of... cloak.
RON: Well, let's see then! Put it on! Whoa!
HARRY: My body’s gone!
RON: I know what that is! That's an Invisibility Cloak!
HARRY: I'm invisible? RON: They're really rare. I wonder who gave it to you.
HARRY: There was no name. It just said, "Use it well."
Scene 22: Cloaked in Darkness.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Library – Restricted Section - night
HARRY: Famous Fire Eaters. Fifteenth Century Fiends. Flamel. Nicholas Flamel.
Where are you?
BOOK: Arrgh!
FILCH: Who’s there? I know you're in there. You can't hide. Who is it? Show
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Ah! Severus, I- I, I- I-I...
SNAPE: You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: W-what do you mean?
SNAPE: You know perfectly well what I mean... We'll have another little chat
soon... when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie.
FILCH: Oh-- Professors. I found this in the Restricted Section. It's still
hot. That means there's a student out of bed.
Scene 23: Mirror of Erised.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – unused classroom - night
HARRY: Mum, Dad?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - night
HARRY: Ron! You've really gotta see this! Ron! You've gotta see this! Ron!
Ron, come on, get out of bed!
RON: Why?
HARRY: There's something you've got to see! Now, come on!
LOCATION: Hogwarts - unused classroom - night
HARRY: Come on! Come! Come look! It's my parents!
RON: I only see us.
HARRY: Look in properly. Go on, stand there. There! You see them, don't you?
RON: That's me! Only, I'm Head Boy. And I'm holding the Quidditch Cup. A-and,
bloody hell! I'm Quidditch captain, too! I look good! Harry, do you think
this mirror shows the future?
HARRY: How can it? Both my parents are dead.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - unused classroom - night
DUMBLEDORE: Back again, Harry? I see that you, like so many before you, have
discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust, by now, you realize
what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on Earth would look
into the mirror and only see himself exactly as he is.
HARRY: So then, it shows us what we want... whatever we want?
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest,
and most desperate, desires of our hearts. Now you, Harry, who have never
known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this,
Harry, this mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away
in front of it. Even gone mad. That is why tomorrow it will be moved to a new
home. And I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to
dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.
Scene 24: Norbert. ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – daytime - with snow
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – daytime - without snow
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Library - daytime
HERMIONE: I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid? I
checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading!
RON: This is light?
HERMIONE: Ah, of course! Here it is! ‘Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker
of the Sorcerer's Stone.’
HARRY, RON: The what?
HERMIONE: Honestly, don't you two read? ‘The Sorcerer's Stone is a legendary
substance with astonishing powers. It will transform any metal into pure gold
and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal.’
RON: Immortal!
HERMIONE: It means you'll never die.
RON: I know what it means!
HARRY: Shhh!
HERMIONE: ‘The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas
Flamel, the noted alchemist who last year celebrated his six hundred and
sixty-fifth birthday.’ That's what Fluffy's guarding on the third floor!
That's what's under the trap door- the Sorcerer's Stone!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – exterior - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – interior - night
HARRY: Hagrid!
HAGRID: Oh, hello. I don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to
entertain today.
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE: We know about the Sorcerer's Stone!
HARRY: We think Snape's trying to steal it.
HAGRID: Snape? Blimey, you're not still on abou’ him, are you?
HARRY: Hagrid! We know he's after the Stone, we just don't know why!
HAGRID: Snape is one of the teachers protectin’ the Stone! He's not abou’ to
steal it.
HARRY: What?
HAGRID: You heard. Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today.
HARRY: Wait a minute! ‘One of the teachers?’
HERMIONE: Of course! There are other things defending the Stone, aren't
there? Spells, enchantments?
HAGRID: That’s right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me. Ain't no one gonna
get past Fluffy. Heh, heh... Ain't a soul knows how, ‘cept fer me and
Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I should not have told you that.
Ooh, ooh... Ow... Oooh... Ooh, ooh...
HARRY: Hagrid, what exactly is that?
HAGRID: That? It's ah... it's um...
RON: I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one?
HAGRID: I won it! Off a stranger I met down at the pub. Seemed quite glad to
be rid of it, as a matter o’ fact.
HERMIONE: Is that... a dragon?
RON: That's not just a dragon! That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother
Charlie works with these in Romania.
HAGRID: Isn't he beau’iful? Oh, bless him. Look, he knows his mummy! Hello,
HARRY: Norbert? HAGRID: Yeah, well, he's gotta have a name, don' he? Don't you, Norbert? Te
de de de de! Oh! Woah! Oooh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! He'll have to be trained up
a bit, of course. Who's that?
HARRY: Malfoy!
HAGRID: Oh, dear.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - night
HARRY: Hagrid always wanted a dragon. He told me so the first time I ever met
RON: It's crazy! And worse, Malfoy knows.
HERMIONE: I don't understand. Is that bad?
RON: It's bad.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Transfiguration classroom - night
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Nothing, I repeat nothing, gives a student the right to
walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions,
fifty points will be taken.
HARRY: Fifty!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Each. And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four
of you will receive detention.
DRACO: Excuse me, Professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said,
‘the four of us.’
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see,
honorable as your intentions were, you, too, were out of bed after hours. You
will join you classmates in detention.
Scene 25: Forbidden Forest.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - night
FILCH: A pity they let the old punishments go, eh? There was a time detention
would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I'll miss the
screaming. You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little
job to do...inside the Dark Forest. A sorry lot, this, Hagrid. Oh, good God,
man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are ya?
HAGRID: Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a
HERMIONE: Well, that's good isn't it? He'll be with his own kind.
HAGRID: Yeah, but what if he don't like Romania? What if the other dragons
are mean to ‘im? He's only a baby, after all.
FILCH: Oh, for God's sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the
Forest, after all. Got to have your wits about ya...
DRACO: The Forest? I thought that was a joke. We can't go in there. Students
aren't allowed. And there are... werewolves!
FILCH: Ah, there's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure
of that. Nighty-night.
HAGRID: Right. Let's go.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Dark Forest - night
HARRY: Hagrid, what is that?
HAGRID: What we're here for. See that? That's unicorn blood, that is. I found
one dead, a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been hurt bad by somethin’. So,
it's our job to go and find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, you'll come with
RON: Okay...
HAGRID: And, Harry, you'll go with Malfoy.
DRACO: Okay, then I get Fang! HAGRID: Fine. Jus’ so‘s you know, he's a bloody coward.
DRACO: You wait till my father hears about this! This is servant stuff.
HARRY: If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared.
DRACO: Scared, Potter? Did you hear that?
HARRY: Come on, Fang!
DRACO: Scared!
FANG: Grrrr...
HARRY: What is it, Fang?
DRACO: Ahhhhh! Ah! Ah! ...Ahhh! Ahh!
FIRENZE: Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here.
The Forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you.
HARRY: But, what was that thing you saved me from?
FIRENZE: A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn.
Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch
from death, but at a terrible price. For you have slain something so pure,
that from the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life,
a cursed life.
HARRY: But, who would choose such a life?
FIRENZE: Can you think of no one?
HARRY: You mean to say, that that thing that killed the unicorn, that was
drinking its blood, that was Voldemort?
FIRENZE: Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment, Mr.
HARRY: The Sorcerer's Stone!
FANG: Ruff! Ruff!
HAGRID: Hello there, Firenze. I see you've met our young Mr. Potter. You all
right there, Harry?
FIRENZE: Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You’re safe now. Good luck.
Scene 26: Up to Something.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - night
HERMIONE: You mean, You-Know-Who is out there, right now, in the Forest?
HARRY: But he's weak. He's living off of unicorns. Don't you see? We had it
wrong! Snape doesn't want the Stone for himself. He wants the Stone for
Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He’ll...
he'll come back.
RON: But, if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to... kill you, do you?
HARRY: I think if he’d had his chance he might have tried to kill me tonight.
RON: (Gulp) And to think, I've been worrying about my Potions final.
HERMIONE: Hang on a minute. We're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard
Voldemort always feared? Dumbledore! As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry,
you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside - daytime
HERMIONE: I'd always heard Hogwart’s end-of-year exams were frightful, but
I’ve found they're rather enjoyable.
RON: Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry?
HARRY: My scar. It keeps burning.
HERMIONE: It's happened before...
HARRY: Not like this.
RON: Perhaps you should see the nurse.
HARRY: I think it's a warning. It means danger's coming. Ah... Oh! Of course!
HERMIONE: What is it?
HARRY: Don't you think it's a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than
anything is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have one? I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs in their pocket? Why
didn't I see it before?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut - exterior - daytime
HARRY: Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg? What did he look like?
HAGRID: I dunno. I never saw his face. He kept his hood up.
HARRY: This stranger though, you and he must have talked.
HAGRID: Well, he- he wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I
told him, I said, after Fluffy a dragon's gonna be no problem.
HARRY: Did he seem interested in Fluffy?
HAGRID: Well, o’ course he was interested in Fluffy! How often do you come
across a three-headed dog, even if you're in the trade? But I told ‘im, I
said, I said, ‘The trick with any beast is to know how to calm ‘im. Take
Fluffy, for example, just play him a bit o’ music, and he falls straight to
sleep.’ I shouldn't have told you that. Where are you going? Where are you-?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Transfiguration classroom - daytime
HARRY: We have to see Professor Dumbledore, immediately!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: I’m afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He
received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for
HARRY: He’s gone! Now! But, this is important! This is about the Sorcerer’s
HARRY: Someone’s going to try to steal it!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: I don’t know how you three found out about the Stone,
but I assure you it is perfectly well protected. Now, would you go back to
your dormitories, quietly.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway - daytime
HARRY: That was no stranger Hagrid met in the village. It was Snape. Which
means, he knows how to get past Fluffy.
HERMIONE: And with Dumbledore goneSNAPE:
Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors, such as
yourselves, be doing inside on a day like this?
HERMIONE: Ah, w- w- w... we- we were justSNAPE:
You ought to be careful. People will think you’re... up to something.
HERMIONE: Now, what do we do?
HARRY: We go down the trap door, tonight.
Scene 27: Through the Trapdoor.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - night
HARRY: Trevor.
RON: Trevor! Shhh, go! You shouldn’t be here!
NEVILLE: Neither should you! You’re sneaking out again, aren’t you?
HARRY: Now, Neville, listen. We were- we wereNEVILLE:
No! I won’t let you! You’ll get Gryffindor into trouble again! I-II-
I’ll fight you!
HERMIONE: Neville, I’m really, really sorry about this. Petrificus Totalus!
RON: (Gulp) You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that. Brilliant, but
HARRY: Let’s go.
HARRY: Sorry.
HERMIONE: Sorry. RON: It’s for your own good, you know.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – third floor corridor - night
HERMIONE: Ow! You stood on my foot!
RON: Sorry.
HERMIONE: Alohomora.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – trapdoor room - night
RON: Wait a minute! He’s... snoring.
HARRY: Snape’s already been here. He’s put a spell on the harp.
RON: Ugh! He’s got horrible breath.
HARRY: We have to move its paw.
RON: What?
HARRY: Come on! Okay, push! I’ll go first. Don’t follow until I give you a
sign. If something bad happens, get yourselves out! Does it seem a
bit...quiet to you?
HERMIONE: The harp... it stopped playing.
RON: Ugh! Yuck! Ugh!
HARRY: Jump!
FLUFFY: Woof! Woof! Woof!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Devil’s Snare room - dark
RON: Waaah! Woah! Lucky this plant thing’s here, really! Woah!
HERMIONE: Stop moving, both of you! This is Devil’s Snare. You have to relax!
If you don’t, it’ll only kill you faster!
RON: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!
RON, HARRY: Hermione!
RON: Now what are we going to do?
HERMIONE: Just relax!
HARRY: Hermione, where are you?
HERMIONE: Do what I say! Trust me!
RON: Ahhh! Harry! Harry!
HERMIONE: Are you okay?
HARRY: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.
RON: Help!
HERMIONE: He’s not relaxing is he?
RON: Help!
HARRY: Apparently not.
RON: Help me!
HERMIONE: We’ve got to do something!
RON: Help!
HARRY: What?
HERMIONE: I remember reading something in Herbology.
RON: Help!
RON: Help!
HERMIONE: ‘Devil’s Snare, Devil’s Snare, it’s deadly fun; but will sulk in
the sun.’ That’s it! Devil’s Snare hates sunlight! Lumus solem!
RON: Aaahh!
HARRY: Ron, are you okay?
RON: Yeah.
RON: Whew! Lucky we didn’t panic!
HARRY: Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside Flying Keys room - dark
HERMIONE: What is that? HARRY: I don’t know. Sounds like wings.
Scene 28: Wizard’s Chess.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Flying keys room - dark
HERMIONE: Curious, I’ve never seen birds like these!
HARRY: They’re not birds, they’re keys. And I’ll bet one of them fits that
HERMIONE: What’s this all about?
HARRY: I don’t know. Strange...
RON: Alohomora! Well, it was worth a try.
HERMIONE: Urrgh! What are we going to do? There must be a thousand keys up
RON: We’re looking for a big old fashioned one. Probably rusty, like the
HARRY: There! I see it! The one with the broken wing!
HERMIONE: What’s wrong, Harry?
HARRY: It’s too simple.
RON: Oh, go on Harry! If Snape can catch it on that old broomstick, you can!
You’re the youngest Seeker in a century! This complicates things a bit!
HARRY: Catch the key!
RON: Hurry up!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – giant Wizard’s Chess room - dark
HERMIONE: I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.
HARRY: Where are we? A graveyard?
RON: This is no graveyard. Huhh... it’s a chessboard.
LOCATION: giant Wizard’s Chess room - lit
HARRY: There’s the door!
HERMIONE: Now what do we do?
RON: It’s obvious, isn’t it? We’ve got to play our way across the room. All
right... Harry, you take the empty bishop’s square. Hermione, you’ll be the
queen-side castle. As for me, I’ll be a knight.
HERMIONE: What happens now?
RON: Well, white moves first, and then... we play.
HERMIONE: Ron, you don’t suppose this is going to be like... real wizard’s
chess do you?
RON: You there D-5. Yes, Hermione, I think this is gonna be... exactly like
wizard chess. Castle to E-4! Pawn to C-3!
Scene 29: Sacrifice Play.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – giant Wizard’s Chess room – lit - later
HARRY: Wait a minute.
RON: You understand, right, Harry? Once I make my move, the queen will take
me. Then you’re free to check the king.
HARRY: No. Ron, no!
HERMIONE: What is it?
HARRY: He’s going to sacrifice himself!
HERMIONE: No, you can’t! There must be another way!
RON: Do you wanna stop Snape from getting’ that Stone, or not? Harry, it’s
you that has to go on. I know it! Not me. Not Hermione. You! Knight to H-3.
Check. Ahh!
HARRY: No! Don’t move! Don’t forget, we’re still playing! Checkmate! Take
care of Ron, then go to the owlery. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron’s
right. I have to go on. HERMIONE: You’ll be okay, Harry. You’re a great wizard. You really are.
HARRY: Not as good as you.
HERMIONE: Heh! Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things.
Friendship and bravery. And, Harry, just be careful.
Scene 30: Man with Two Faces.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Mirror of Erised room - dark
HARRY: Ah...You? N-no, it can’t be! Snape - he wa- he was the onePROFESSOR
QUIRRELL: Yes, he does seem the type, doesn’t he? Why next to him,
who would suspect “p- p- poor st- st- stuttering Professor Quirrell?”
HARRY: But- but that day, during the Quidditch match, Snape tried to kill me.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: No, dear boy, I tried to kill you! And trust me, if
Snape’s cloak hadn’t caught on fire and broken my eye contact, I would have
succeeded, even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.
HARRY: Snape was trying to save me?
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: I knew you were a danger to me right from the off.
Especially after Halloween.
HARRY: Then- then you let the troll in!
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Very good, Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn’t
fooled. When everyone else was running about the dungeon, Snape went to the
third floor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He rarely
left me alone. But, he doesn’t understand. I’m never alone. Never. Now, what
does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the Stone.
But, how do I get it?
VOLDEMORT: Use the boy.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Come here, Potter! Now! Tell me... what do you see? What
is it, what do you see?
HARRY: I- I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore. I- I’ve won the House Cup.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Tell the truth! What do you see?
VOLDEMORT: Let me speak to him.
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Master, you are not strong enough!
VOLDEMORT:I have strength enough for thisss. Harry Potter, we meet again.
HARRY: Voldemort?
VOLDEMORT: Yes. You see what I have become? See what I must do to survive?
Live off another. A mere parasite! Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it
cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something,
that conveniently enough, lies in your pocket.
Scene 31: Magic Touch.
VOLDEMORT: Stop him! Don’t be a fool! Why suffer a horrific death when you
can join me... and live?
HARRY: Never!
VOLDEMORT: Ha, ha ha! Bravery. Your parents had it, too. Tell me, Harry,
would you like to see your mother and father again? Together we can bring
them back. All I ask is for something in return. That’s it, Harry. There is
no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.
Together we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the Stone!
HARRY: You liar!
VOLDEMORT: Kill him!
PROFESSOR QUIRRELL: Ahh! Ahh-aaah! What is this magic?
VOLDEMORT: Fool! Get the Stone!
HARRY: Aaaah!
----------Scene 32: Mark of Love.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing – daytime
DUMBLEDORE: Good afternoon, Harry. Ah! Tokens from your admirers.
HARRY: Admirers?
DUMBLEDORE: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor
Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows. Ahh, I
see that your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your
Chocolate Frogs.
HARRY: Ron was here? Is he all right? What about Hermione?
DUMBLEDORE: Fine. They're both just fine.
HARRY: But, what happened to the Stone?
DUMBLEDORE: Relax, dear boy. The Stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas
and I have had a little chat, and agreed it was best all around.
HARRY: But then, Flamel- he'll die won't he?
DUMBLEDORE: He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he
will die.
HARRY: How is it I got the Stone, sir? One minute, I was there staring in the
mirror, and then the nextDUMBLEDORE:
Ah, you see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone- find it,
but not use it- would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant
ideas. And, between you and me, that is saying something.
HARRY: Does that mean- with the Stone gone, that is- that Voldemort can never
come back?
DUMBLEDORE: Ah, I'm afraid... there are ways in which he can return. Harry,
do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? It
was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of
act leaves a mark. Oh, no- this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your
very skin.
HARRY: What is it?
DUMBLEDORE: Love, Harry. Love. Ah, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I was
most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since
then, I'm afraid I've lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe
with a nice toffee. Hmm... Alas! Earwax!
Scene 33: House Cup Winner.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - daytime
HARRY: Alright there, Ron?
RON: Alright. You?
HARRY: Alright. Hermione?
HERMIONE: Never better.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - decorated for Leaving Feast - night
DUMBLEDORE: Another year gone. And now, as I understand it, the House Cup
needs awarding. And the points stand as thus: In fourth place, Gryffindor
with three hundred and twelve points. Third place, Hufflepuff with three
hundred and fifty-two points. In second place, Ravenclaw with four hundred
and twenty-six points. And in first place, with four hundred and seventy-two
points, Slytherin House.
DRACO: Nice one, mate.
DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes. Well done, Slytherin. Well done, Slytherin. However,
recent events must be taken into account. And, I have a few last-minute
points to award. To Miss Hermione Granger, for the cool use of intellect when
others were in grave peril, fifty points.
DUMBLEDORE: Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best-played game of chess
that Hogwarts has seen these many years, fifty points.
DUMBLEDORE: And third, to Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding
courage, I award Gryffindor House sixty points.
HERMIONE: We're tied with Slytherin!
DUMBLEDORE: And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your
enemies. But, a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award ten
points to Neville Longbottom.
GRYFFINDORS: Yeah! Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
DUMBLEDORE: Assuming my calculations are correct, I believe that a change of
decoration is in order. Gryffindor wins the House Cup!
GRYFFINDORS: Yeah! Whoo! Yeah!
LEE JORDAN: We did it!
SEAMUS: We won!
Scene 34: Not Really Going Home.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - train platform - daytime
HAGRID: Come on, now. Hurry up! You'll be late! Train's leaving. Go on. Go
on. Come on, hurry up!
HERMIONE: Come on, Harry!
HARRY: One minute.
HAGRID: Thought you were leaving without sayin’ good-bye, did ya? This is for
HARRY: Thanks, Hagrid.
HAGRID: Oh, go on. On with you. On with you, now. On with you. Oh, and
listen, Harry. If that dolt of a cousin o’ yours, Dudley, gives you any
grief, you can always, um... threaten ‘im, with a nice pair of ears to go
with that tail o’ his.
HARRY: But Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know
HAGRID: I do. But, your cousin don't, do he? Eh? Uh. Aye!
HERMIONE: Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?
HARRY: I'm not going home. Not really.
Scene 35: End Credits.
-The End-

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Scene 1: In a cage.
LOCATION: Little Whinging, Surrey – night
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night
HARRY: I can’t let you out, Hedwig. I’m not allowed to use magic outside of
school. Besides, if Uncle VernonUNCLE
VERNON: Harry Potter!
HARRY: Now you’ve done it.
AUNT PETUNIA: He’s in there. Vernon...
UNCLE VERNON: I’m warning you, if you can’t control that bloody bird it’ll
have to go.
HARRY: But she’s bored! If I could only let out for an hour or twoUNCLE
VERNON: Huh, huh! So you could send secret messages to you freaky
little friends. No, sir!
HARRY: But I haven’t had any messages from any of my friends... not one...
all summer.
DUDLEY: Who’d want to be friends with you?
UNCLE VERNON: I should think you’d be a little more grateful. We’ve raised
you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you
have Dudley’s second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
AUNT PETUNIA: Not now, Bopkins. For when the Masons arrive.
UNCLE VERNON: Which should be any minute! Ahem...Now let’s go over our
schedule once again, shall we? Petunia when the Masons arrive you will be...?
AUNT PETUNIA: the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously into our
UNCLE VERNON: Good! And- and Dudley, you will be...?
DUDLEY: I’ll be waiting to open the door!
UNCLE VERNON: Excellent! ...And you...?
HARRY: I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don’t
UNCLE VERNON: Too right, you will. With any luck, this could well be the day
I make the biggest deal of my career. And you will not mess it up!
Scene 2: Dobby’s warning.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night
UNCLE VERNON: Mr. and Mrs. Mason! Do come in!
DOBBY: Ha- ha- ha! Ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha! Harry Potter! Such an honor it
HARRY: Who are you?
DOBBY: Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf.
HARRY: Not to be to be rude or anything, but this isn’t a great time for me
to have a house elf in my bedroom.
DOBBY: Oh, oh yes, sir! Dobby understands! It’s just that, Dobby has come to
tell you- it is difficult, sir- Dobby wonders where to begin?
HARRY: Why don’t you sit down?
DOBBY: S-sit down? S-sit- sit down? Oh, oh, ho. Oh, ho, ho... Oh, ho, ho.
Ohh, ho, hoo...
HARRY: Dobby, ssh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you, or anything.
DOBBY: Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but never has he
been asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal.
HARRY: You can’t have met many decent wizards then.
DOBBY: No, I haven’t. That was an awful thing to say. Bad Dobby! HARRY: Stop, Dobby!
DOBBY: Bad Dobby!
HARRY: Dobby, shh!
DOBBY: Baaad Dobby!
HARRY: Dobby, please stop!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - night
UNCLE VERNON: Ohh, don’t mind that! It’s just the cat.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night
DOBBY: Bad Dobby. Bad Dobby!
HARRY: Stop! Stop, Dobby. Please be quiet! Are you all right?
DOBBY: Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of his
family, sir.
HARRY: Your family?
DOBBY: The wizard family Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve one
family forever. If they ever knew Dobby was here...ooh... But Dobby had to
come. Dobby has to protect Harry Potter- to warn him. Harry Potter must not
go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year! There is a
plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.
HARRY: What terrible things? Who’s plotting them?
DOBBY: Ooo... er... can’t... say... argh...
HARRY: Ok– I- understand. You can’t- say.
DOBBY: Don’t make me talk, I— Errr...
HARRY: Dobby! Dobby, put the lamp down.
DOBBY: Bad Dobby.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - night
UNCLE VERNON: So when they arrive at the ninth hole...
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room
HARRY: Give me the lamp! Dobby stop!
DOBBY: Let me go!
HARRY: Get in there, and keep quiet!
UNCLE VERNON: What the devil are you doing up here?
HARRY: I- I was just—
UNCLE VERNON: You just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke!
HARRY: Sorry.
UNCLE VERNON: One more sound, and you’ll wish you’d never been born, boy! And
fix that door!
HARRY: Yes, sir... See why I’ve got to go back? I don’t belong here. I belong
in your world, at Hogwarts. It’s the only place I’ve got friends!
DOBBY: Friends who don’t even write to Harry Potter?
HARRY: Well, I expect they’ve... been- hang on- how do you know my friends
haven’t been writing to me?
DOBBY: Harry Potter mustn’t be angry with Dobby. Heh- Dobby hoped, if Harry
Potter thought his friends had forgotten him, Harry Potter might not want to
go back to school, sir.
HARRY: Give me those, now!
DOBBY: No! Ahh! Ooh...
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Kitchen - night
HARRY: Dobby, get back here!
DOBBY: (Snap!)
HARRY: Dobby, please, no!
DOBBY: Harry Potter must say he’s not going back to school!
HARRY: I can’t. Hogwarts is my home! DOBBY: Then, Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter’s own good. (Snap!)
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Living Room - night
UNCLE VERNON: spread as far as the eye could see, all over the floor of
this vast building, and it was this deep. And one plumber said “Look at all
that water.” A-and the second plumber said, “Yes, and that’s just the top of
DOBBY: (Snap!)
UNCLE VERNON: I’m so sorry! It’s my nephew- he’s very disturbed. Meeting
strangers upsets him. That’s why I kept him upstairs!
Scene 3: Car rescue.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – exterior - daytime
UNCLE VERNON: You’re never going back to that school. You’re never going to
see those freaky friends of yours again. Never!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night
RON: Hiya, Harry!
HARRY: Ron! Fred. George. What are you all doing here?
RON: Rescuing you, of course. Now, come on. Get your trunk!...
RON: You’d better stand back. Let’s go!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Mr. And Mrs. Dursley’s room - night
UNCLE VERNON: Now, what the hell’s he doing? Potter!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Upstairs hall - night
DUDLEY: Dad! What’s going on?
LOCATION: LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – outside Harry’s room - night
GEORGE: Go, go, go, go!
DUDLEY: Dad, hurry up!
RON: Come on.
FRED: Come on.
RON: Come on, Harry! Hurry up!
UNCLE VERNON: Petunia, he’s escaping!
HARRY: Ahh- ahh!
RON: I’ve got you Harry!
UNCLE VERNON: Come here!
HARRY: Let go of me!
UNCLE VERNON: Oh no, boy! You and that bloody pigeon aren’t going anywhere!
HARRY: Get off!
RON: Drive!
FRED: Right.
GEORGE: Right!
UNCLE VERNON: No! No! No! No! Aaaah!
LOCATION: Flying car - over Little Whinging, Surrey - night
RON: By the way, Harry, Happy Birthday!
Scene 4: The Burrow.
LOCATION: The Burrow – exterior - morning ----------
LOCATION: The Burrow – Kitchen - morning
FRED: Come on. Okay, come on. Shh! Shh! Ok, come on. Shh! Come on.
RON: Do you think it’d be all right if we had some of this?
GEORGE: Yeah, Mum would never know.
RON: It’s not much, but it’s home.
HARRY: I think it’s brilliant
MRS. WEASLEY: Where have you been? Harry, how wonderful to see you dear. Beds
empty! No note! Car gone! You could have died! You could have been seen! Of
course, I don’t blame you, Harry dear.
RON: They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window!
MRS. WEASLEY: Well, you’d best hope that I don’t put bars on your window,
Ronald Weasley! Come on Harry, time for a spot of breakfast. Here we are
Harry. Now tuck in! That’s it. There we go.
GINNY: Mum- Mummy, have you seen my jumper?
MRS. WEASLEY: Yes dear. It was on the cat.
HARRY: Hello. W-what did I do?
RON: Ginny. She’s been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying really.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Morning, Weasleys.
FRED, GEORGE, RON: Morning, Dad.
MRS. WEASLEY: Morning Arthur!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: What a night. Nine raids. Nine!
HARRY: Raids?
RON: Dad works in the Ministry of Magic, in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts
Office. Dad loves Muggles, thinks they’re fascinating.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Well now. Aah! And who are you?
HARRY: Oh, sorry sir. I’m Harry, sir, Harry Potter.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Good Lord! Are you really? Well, Ron’s told us all about you,
of course. When did he get here?
MRS. WEASLEY: This morning. Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to
Surrey and back last night.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Did you really? How’d it go? Did you—
ARTHUR WEASLEY: I mean...that was very wrong, indeed, boys. Very wrong of
you. Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what exactly is
the function of a rubber duck?
HARRY: Oh, umm...
MRS. WEASLEY: Well, that’ll be Errol with the post. Oh, fetch it will you
Percy, please?
PERCY: Errol...
RON: He’s always doing that.
PERCY: Oh look, it’s our Hogwarts letters. And they’ve sent us Harry’s as
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Dumbledore must know you’re here, Harry. Doesn’t miss a
trick, that man.
FRED: This lot won’t come cheap, Mum. The spell books alone are very
MRS. WEASLEY: We’ll manage. There’s only one place we’re going to get all of
this. Diagon Alley.
Scene 5: To Diagon Alley.
LOCATION: The Burrow – Kitchen - daytime
MRS. WEASLEY: Right. Here we are Harry, you go first dear.
RON: But Harry’s never traveled by Floo powder before, Mum. HARRY: Floo powder?
MRS. WEASLEY: Oh, well you go first Ron, so that Harry can see how it’s done.
Yes. In you go... That’s it.
RON: Diagon Alley!
MRS. WEASLEY: You see? It’s quite easy, dear. Don’t be afraid. Come on. Come
on. In you go. That’s it, mind your head. That’s right. Now take your Floo
powder. That’s it, very good. Now, don’t forget to speak very, very clearly.
HARRY: ‘Diaganilly.’
MRS. WEASLEY: What did he say, dear?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: ‘Diaganilly.’
MRS. WEASLEY: I thought he did.
LOCATION: Knockturn Alley – Borgin and Burkes - daytime
LOCATION: Knockturn Alley - daytime
OTHER: Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha...
AGED WITCH: Not lost are you, my dear?
HARRY: I’m fine, thank you. I- I was just...
OTHER: Come with us. We’ll help you find your way back.
HARRY: No! Please!
HAGRID: Harry?
HARRY: Hagrid!
HAGRID: What do you think you’re doing down ‘ere? Come on!
LOCATION: Diagon Alley - daytime
HAGRID: Yer a mess, Harry. Skulkin’ ‘round Knockturn Alley? Dodgy place! Don’
want no one ter see you there. People’ll think you were up to no good.
HARRY: I was lost, I— hang on. What were you doing down there, then?
HAGRID: Me? Oh, I was... um... I was lookin’ for Flesh-Eatin’ Slug Repellent.
They’re ruinin’ all the school cabbages.
HERMIONE: Harry! Hagrid!
HAGRID: Hello, Hermione!
HERMIONE: Oh, it’s so good to see you!
HARRY: Well, it’s great to see you, too!
HERMIONE: What did you do to your glasses? Oculus reparo.
HARRY: I definitely need to remember that one.
HAGRID: You’ll be all right now then, Harry? Right. I’ll leave you to it,
HARRY: Thank you. Bye.
HERMIONE: Come on! Everyone’s been so worried.
Scene 6: Flourish and Blotts.
LOCATION: Diagon Alley – Flourish and Blotts - daytime
OTHER: Harry... Harry Potter...
MRS. WEASLEY: Oh, Harry! Thank goodness! We’d hoped you’d only gone one grate
too far...
OTHER: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart.
MRS. WEASLEY: Ah! Here he is!
RON: Mum fancies him.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Make way there. Please! Let me by, madam. Thank you. Excuse me,
little girl. This is for the Daily Prophet.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: It can’t be- Harry Potter?
PHOTOGRAPHER: Harry Potter! Excuse me, madam.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Nice big smile, Harry. Together you and I rate the front
page! Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is. When young Harry stepped into Flourish and Blotts this morning to purchase my
autobiography, Magical Me,... which, incidentally is currently celebrating
its 27th week atop the Daily Prophet bestseller list, he had no idea that he
would, in fact, be leaving... with my entire collected works, free of charge.
Now, ladies?
MRS. WEASLEY: Harry, now you give me those, and I’ll get them signed. All of
you wait outside. That’s it, Ron.
DRACO: I’ll bet you loved that, didn’t you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter!
Can’t even go into a bookshop without making the front page.
GINNY: Leave him alone.
DRACO: Oh look, Potter. You’ve got yourself a girlfriend.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Now, now Draco, play nicely. Mr. Potter... Lucius Malfoy. We
meet at last. Forgive me, your scar is legend, as, of course, is the wizard
who gave it to you.
HARRY: Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Hmm. You must be very brave, to mention his name...or very
HERMIONE: Fear of a name only increase fear of the thing itself.
LUCIUS MALFOY: And you must be... Miss Granger. Yes, Draco’s told me all
about you, and your parents. Muggles, aren’t they? Let me hair...
vacant expressions... tatty second hand book. You must be the Weasleys.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Children, it’s mad in here! Let’s go outside.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Well, well, well. Weasley senior.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur, all those extra raids? I do
hope they’re paying you overtime, but judging by the state of this, I’d say
not. What’s the use in being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don’t
even pay you well for it.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name
of wizard, Malfoy.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Clearly. Associating with Muggles... and I thought your family
could sink no lower. I’ll see you at work.
DRACO: See you at school.
Scene 7: Flying to Hogwarts.
LOCATION: London - King’s Cross Station – exterior -daytime
LOCATION: King’s Cross Station - Train Platform - daytime
ARTHUR WEASLEY: 10:58! Come on! Come on!
MRS. WEASLEY: The train will be leaving any moment!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Fred, George, Percy you first!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: After you, dear.
LOCATION: Platform nine and three-quarters - daytime
MRS. WEASLEY: Come on, Ginny, we’ll get you a seat. Hurry!
LOCATION: King’s Cross Station - Train Platform - daytime
HARRY: Let’s go.
RON: Whao!
STATION GUARD: Oy! What do you two think you’re doing?
HARRY: Sorry. Lost- lost control of the trolley. Why can’t we get through?
RON: I don’t know. The gateway’s sealed its self for some reason.
HARRY: The train leaves at exactly eleven o’clock. We’ve missed it!
RON: Harry, if we can’t get through, maybe Mum and Dad can’t get back! HARRY: Maybe we should just go and wait by the car.
RON: The car...
LOCATION: King’s Cross Station – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Flying Car – over London - daytime
HARRY: Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren’t accustomed to seeing a
flying car.
RON: Uh, right. Okay.
LOCATION: Flying Car – over countryside - daytime
RON: Oh no! The Invisibility Booster must be faulty!
HARRY: Well come on, then. Let’s go lower. We need to find the train.
RON: Okay.
LOCATION: Flying Car – over train tracks - daytime
HARRY: Now all we need to do is catch up with the train.
RON: We can’t be far behind.
HARRY: Do you hear that?
RON: We must be gettin’ close.
HARRY: Hold on...
HARRY, RON: Aaahhh! Aaahhhh! Aaahhh!
HARRY: Wha-aahhh!
RON: Harry! Hold on! Take my hand! Hold on!
HARRY: I’m trying. Your hand’s all sweaty.
HARRY: I think we found the train.
RON: Yeah.
Scene 8: Whomping Willow.
LOCATION: Flying Car – over Hogwarts - night
RON: Welcome home.
HARRY: Up! Up!
RON: It’s not working! Ahhhh!
HARRY: Up! Up! Ron! Mind that tree!
RON: Stop! Stop! Stop! Huh... Aahh!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds – in Whomping Willow - night
RON: Ahh-ha-ha! My wand. Look at my wand.
HARRY: Be thankful it’s not your neck.
RON: What’s happening?
HARRY: I don’t know.
HARRY, RON: Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
RON: Ahh! Ahhhh! Ahh!
HARRY, RON: Aaaahhhh!
HARRY: Come on! Go! Fast!
RON: Scabbers, you OK? The car! ...Dad’s gonna kill me.
Scene 9: Not expelled…today.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – staircase - night
HARRY: See you, Hedwig. So, a house elf shows up in my bedroom, we can’t get
through the barrier to platform nine and three-quarters, we almost get killed
by a tree... clearly someone doesn’t want me here this year. FILCH: Well, take a good look lads. This night might well be the last you
spend in this castle. Hm. Oh, dear, we are in trouble.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Snape’s office - night
SNAPE: You were seen by no less than seven Muggles. Do you have any idea how
serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world. Not to mention
the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that’s been on these grounds
since before you were born.
RON: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
SNAPE: Silence! I assure you, that were you in Slytherin, and your fate
rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home- tonight. As it
DUMBLEDORE: ...They are not.
HARRY: Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.
SNAPE: Headmaster, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of
Underage Wizardry. As such--
DUMBLEDORE: I am well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written quite a
few of them myself. However, as head of Gryffindor house, it is for Professor
McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.
RON: We’ll go and get our stuff, then.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?
RON: You’re going to expel us, aren’t you?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Not today, Mr. Weasley. But, I must impress on both of
you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families
tonight, and you will both receive detention.
Scene 10: Mandrakes; Ron’s Howler.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Greenhouse three - daytime
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Morning, everyone! Good morning, everyone!
All: Good morning, Professor Sprout!
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Welcome to Greenhouse Three, Second Years. Now, gather
around, everyone. Today, we are going to repot Mandrakes. Who here can tell
me the properties of the Mandrake root? Yes, Miss Granger.
HERMIONE: Mandrake, or Mandragora, is used to return those who have been
Petrified to their original state. It’s also quite dangerous. The Mandrake’s
cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Excellent! Ten points to Gryffindor! Now, as our Mandrakes
are still only seedlings their cries won’t kill you yet. But they could knock
you out for several hours, which is why I have given each of you a pair of
earmuffs for auditory protection. So, could you please put them on, right
away? Quickly! Flaps tight down, and watch me closely. You grasp your
Mandrake firmly, you pull it sharply up out of the pot...
All: Aah! Ooh!
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Got it? And... now you dunk it down into the other pot and
pour a little sprinkling of soil to keep him warm.
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Uh, Longbottom’s been neglecting his earmuffs.
SEAMUS: No, ma’am, he’s just fainted.
PROFESSOR SPROUT: Yes, well, just leave him there. Right! On we go! Plenty of
pots to go around. Grasp your Mandrake, and pull it up!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - daytime
OTHER: There’s Nearly-Headless-Nick!
SIR NICHOLAS: Hello, Percy. Miss Clearwater. PERCY: Hello, Sir Nicholas!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - daytime
RON: Huhh... Say it, I’m doomed.
HARRY: You’re doomed.
COLIN: Hi, Harry! (flash) I’m Colin Creevy! I’m in Gryffindor, too!
HARRY: Oh- Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.
DEAN THOMAS: Ron? Is that your owl?
OTHERS: Ha-ha... Ha, ha.
RON: Bloody bird’s a menace. Oh, no!
SEAMUS: Look, everyone! Weasley’s got himself a Howler!
NEVILLE: Go on, Ron. I ignored one from my gran once. It was horrible.
STRAIGHT HOME! Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor.
Your father and I are so proud! Thhhhbt!
Scene 11: Gilderoy Lockhart.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark
Arts teacher... me! Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary
Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-times winner of Witch
Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award- but I don’t talk about that. I didn’t get
rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him. Huh, huh, huh... hee, hee...
Now- be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known
to wizardkind. You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room.
Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to
scream. It might... provoke them!
SEAMUS: Cornish pixies?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Freshly caught Cornish pixies!
SEAMUS: Ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha...
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnigan, but pixies can be
devilish tricky little blighters. Let’s see what you make of them, ha! Come
on now- round them up, round them up, they’re only pixies!
PIXIE: Just stay there!
NEVILLE: Ah! Aaah! Aaah! Aah- aah!
NEVILLE: Hey, get me down!
HERMIONE: Get off me!
HARRY: Stop! Stop! Hold still!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Peskipiksi pesternomi!
PIXIE: Hee, hee, hee!
PIXIE: Yeeee-haw!
PIXIE: Wheee!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: I’ll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into
their cage!
RON: What do we do now?
HERMIONE: Immobulus!
NEVILLE: Why is it always me?
Scene 12: Mudbloods and murmurs.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch pitch - daytime WOOD: I spent the summer devising a whole new Quidditch program. We are gonna
train earlier, harder, and longer. What- I don’t believe it! Where do you
think you’re goin’, Flint?
MARCUS FLINT: Quidditch practice.
WOOD: I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today.
MARCUS FLINT: Easy, Wood. I’ve got a note.
RON: Uh-oh. I smell trouble.
WOOD: “I, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin team
permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker.”
You’ve got a new Seeker. Who?
HARRY: Malfoy?
DRACO: That’s right. And that’s not all that new this year.
RON: Those are Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones! How did you get those?
MARCUS FLINT: A gift from Draco’s father.
DRACO: You see Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.
HERMIONE: At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in.
They got it on pure talent.
DRACO: No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!
RON: You’ll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs!
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha!
DRACO: Ha, ha!
HERMIONE: You okay, Ron? Say something!
RON: (Blech...)
OTHER: Ooh! Ugh! Yech!
COLIN: (flash) Wow! Can you turn him around, Harry?
HARRY: No, Colin! Get out of the way! Let’s take him to Hagrid’s.
RON: (Blech...)
HARRY: He’ll know what to do.
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha...
DRACO: Ha, ha...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut - daytime
HAGRID: Wo, this calls for a specialist’s equipment. Nothin’ to do but
wait’ll it stops, I’m afraid.
RON: (Blech...)
HARRY: Ah! Oh... Okay.
HAGRID: Better out than in. Who’s Ron tryin’ to curse, anyway?
HARRY: Malfoy. He called Hermione,, well, I don’t- I don’t know exactly
what it means.
HERMIONE: He called me a Mudblood.
HAGRID: He did not!
HARRY: What’s a Mudblood?
HERMIONE: It means “dirty blood.” Mudblood’s a really foul name for someone
who is Muggle-born. Someone with non-magic parents. Someone like me. It’s not
a term one usually hears in civilized conversation.
HAGRID: See, the thing is, Harry, there’re some wizards, like the Malfoy
family, who think they’re better’n everyone else because they’re what people
call “pure blood.”
HARRY: That’s horrible!
RON: (Blech...) It’s disgusting.
HAGRID: And it’s codswallop, to boot. “Dirty blood.” Why, there isn’t a
wizard alive today that’s not half blood or less. More ter the point, they’ve
yet to think of a spell that our Hermione can’ do. Come here... Don’t you
think on it, Hermione. Don’t you think on it for one minute... eh?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Professor Lockhart’s office - night PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Harry, Harry, Harry... Can you possibly imagine a better
way to serve detention than by helping me to answer my fan mail?
HARRY: Not really.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity
does. Remember that.
VOICE: Come, come, come to me. Come to me!
HARRY: What?
HARRY: That voice.
HARRY: Didn’t you hear it?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: What are you talking about, Harry? I think we’re getting
a bit a- drowsy. And, Great Scott- no wonder! Look at the time! We’ve been
here nearly four hours! Spooky how the time flies when one’s having fun. Heh,
HARRY: Spooky.
Scene 13: Writing on the wall.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
VOICE: Blood. I smell blood. Let me rip you. Let me kill you. Kill! Kill!
HARRY: Did you hear it?
RON: Hear what?
HARRY: That voice.
HERMIONE: Voice? What voice?
HARRY: I heard it first in Lockhart’s office. And then again just—
VOICE: It’s time.
HARRY: It’s moving. I think it’s going to kill.
RON: Kill?
HERMIONE: Harry, wait! Not so fast!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – flooded corridor – night
HARRY: Strange. I’ve never seen spiders act like that.
RON: I don’t like spiders... What’s that?
HERMIONE: ‘The Chamber of Secrets has been opened... enemies the heir...
beware.’ It’s written in blood.
HARRY: Oh, no... It’s Filch’s cat. It’s Mrs. Norris.
OTHERS: (mumble, mumble) Ahhh! What’s that?
DRACO: ‘Enemies of the heir beware!’ You’ll be next, Mudbloods!
FILCH: What’s going on ‘ere? Go on, make way, make way. Potter-- What are
you...Mrs. Norris? You’ve...murdered my cat.
HARRY: No. No.
FILCH: I’ll kill ya... I’ll kill ya!
DUMBLEDORE: Argus! Argus, I... Everyone will proceed to their dormitories
immediately. Everyone except... you three.
OTHER: Ravenclaws, follow me!
DUMBLEDORE: She’s not dead, Argus. She has been Petrified.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Ah, thought so. So unlucky I wasn’t there. I know exactly
the counter curse that could have spared her.
DUMBLEDORE: But how she has been Petrified, I cannot say...
FILCH: Ask him. It’s him who’s done it. You saw what he wrote on the wall.
HARRY: It’s not true sir, I swear. I never touched Mrs. Norris.
FILCH: Rubbish! SNAPE: If I might, Headmaster? Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in
the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious.
I, for one, don’t recall seeing Potter at dinner.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: I’m afraid that’s my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was
helping me answer my fan mail.
HERMIONE: That’s why Ron and I went looking for him, Professor. We’d just
found him when he said...
SNAPE: Yes, Miss Granger?
HARRY: When I said I wasn’t hungry. We were heading back to the common room
when we found Mrs. Norris.
DUMBLEDORE: Innocent until proven guilty, Severus.
FILCH: My cat has been Petrified. I wanna see some punishment!
DUMBLEDORE: We will be able to cure her, Argus. As I understand it, Madame
Sprout has a very healthy growth of Mandrakes. When matured, a potion will be
made which will revive Mrs. Norris. And in the meantime, I strongly recommend
caution... to all.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – moving staircase - night
HERMIONE: It’s a bit strange, isn’t it?
HARRY: Strange?
HERMIONE: You hear this voice, a voice only you can hear, and then Mrs.
Norris turns up Petrified. It’s just... strange.
HARRY: Do you think I should have told them? Dumbledore and the others, I
RON: Are you mad?
HERMIONE: No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good
Picture: She’s right, you know.
Scene 14: About the Chamber.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Transfiguration classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Could I have your attention, please? Right. Now, today,
we will be transforming animals into water goblets. Like so. One, two, three,
Vera verto. Now it’s your turn. Well, who would like to go first? Ah! Mr.
Weasley. “One, two, three. Vera verto.”
RON: Ahem. Vera verto!
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: That wand needs replacing, Mr. Weasley. Yes, Miss
HERMIONE: Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about...the Chamber
of Secrets?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, very well. Well, you all know, of course, that
Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago by the four greatest witches
and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena
Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Now, three of the founders coexisted quite
harmoniously. One did not.
RON: Three guesses who.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the
students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept
within all-magic families. In other words, “pure-bloods.” Unable to sway the
others, he decided to leave the school. Now, according to legend, Slytherin
had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets.
Though, shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own
true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the
Chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing purge the school of
all those who, in Slytherin’s view, were unworthy to study magic. HERMIONE: Muggle-borns.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, naturally, the school had been searched many
times. No such chamber has been found.
HERMIONE: Professor? What exactly does legend tell us lies within the
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, the Chamber is said to home to something that
only the Heir of Slytherin can control. It is said to be the home of a
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway - daytime
RON: D’you think it’s true? D’you think there really is a Chamber of Secrets?
HERMIONE: Yes. Couldn’t you tell? McGonagall’s worried. All the teachers are.
HARRY: Well, if there really is a Chamber of Secrets, a-and it really has
been opened, then that means---
HERMIONE: The Heir of Slytherin has returned to Hogwarts. The question is,
who is it?
RON: Let’s think. Who do we know who thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?
HERMIONE: If you’re talking about MalfoyRON:
Of course. You heard him! ‘You’ll be next Mudbloods,’
HERMIONE: I heard him. But Malfoy, the Heir of Slytherin?
HARRY: Well, maybe Ron’s right, Hermione. I mean, look at his family. The
whole lot of them have been in Slytherin for centuries.
RON: Crabbe and Goyle must know. Maybe we could trick them into telling.
HERMIONE: Even they aren’t that thick. But there might be another way. Mind
you, it would be difficult. Not to mention, we would be breaking about fifty
school rules. And, it’ll be dangerous. Very dangerous.
Scene 15: Rogue Bludger.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Library - daytime
HERMIONE: Here it is. ‘The Polyjuice Potion.’ (Reading from Moste Potente
Potions) ‘Properly brewed, the Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to
transform himself temporarily into the physical form of another.’
RON: Do you mean, if Harry and I drink that stuff, we’ll turn into Crabbe and
RON: Wicked! Malfoy’ll tell us anything.
HERMIONE: Exactly. But it’s tricky. I’ve never seen a more complicated
HARRY: Well, how long will it take to make?
HERMIONE: A month.
HARRY: A month? But, Hermione, if Malfoy is the Heir of Slytherin, he could
attack half the Muggle-borns in the school by then.
HERMIONE: I know. But it’s the only plan we’ve got.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Quidditch Pitch - daytime
OTHERS: Yeah! Come on Slytherin!
LEE JORDAN: Another goal for Slytherin! They lead Gryffindor ninety to
Marcus Flint: Yeah! Yeah!
DRACO: All right there, Scarhead?
WOOD: Watch yourself, Harry!
HARRY: Wood! Look out! HAGRID: Blimey! Harry’s got himself a rogue Bludger! That’s been tampered
with, that has!
RON: I’ll stop it.
HERMIONE: No! Even with a proper wand it’s too risky. You could hit Harry!
DRACO: Training for the ballet, Potter?
DRACO: You’ll never catch me, Potter!
HERMIONE: Let’s go.
LEE JORDAN: Harry Potter has caught the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!
HERMIONE: Finite incantatem!
Scene 16: No longer safe.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch pitch grass - daytime
HARRY: Thank you.
HERMIONE: Are you okay?
HARRY: No, I think my- I think my arm’s broken.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Not to worry, Harry. I will fix that arm of yours
straight away.
HARRY: No, not you.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Oh, poor boy doesn’t know what he’s saying. Now, this...
won’t hurt a bit. Brackium emendo!
OTHERS: Oh! Ooh! Ugh!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Ah, yes, well, ha, that can sometimes happen, um, butuh,
the point is, uh,...
OTHER: Ohh! Uhh!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: can no longer feel any pain, and, heh- very
clearly, the bones are not broken.
HAGRID: Broken? There’s no bones left!
OTHERS: Uh-huh-ugh!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Much more flexible, though.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital wing - daytime
DRACO: Uhh, uhhh...
MADAME POMFREY: Oh, Mr. Malfoy, stop making such a fuss, you can go. Out of
my way. Out of my way! Should’ve been brought straight to me. I can mend
bones in a heartbeat- but growing them back...
HERMIONE: You will be able to, won’t you?
MADAME POMFREY: Oh, I’ll be able to, certainly. But it’ll be painful. You’re
in for a rough night, Potter. Regrowing bones is a nasty business.
MADAME POMFREY: Well, what do you expect? Pumpkin juice?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital wing - night
VOICE: Kill. Kill... Time to kill!
DOBBY: Hello!
HARRY: Dobby?
DOBBY: Harry Potter should have listened to Dobby! Harry Potter should have
gone back home when he missed the train.
HARRY: It was you... You stopped the barrier from letting Ron and me through.
DOBBY: Indeed. Yes, sir.
HARRY: You nearly got Ron and me expelled!
DOBBY: At least you would be away from here. Harry Potter must go home! Dobby
thought his Bludger would be enough to make Harry Potter see that---
HARRY: Your Bludger? You made that Bludger chase after me?
DOBBY: Uhuh... Dobby feels most aggrieved, sir. Dobby had to iron his hands. HARRY: You’d better clear off before my bones come back, Dobby, or I might
strangle you!
DOBBY: Uh-huh-huh... Dobby is used to death threats sir. Dobby gets them five
times a day at home.
HARRY: I don’t suppose you could tell me why you’re trying to kill me?
DOBBY: Not kill you, sir, never kill you! Dobby remembers how it was before
Harry Potter triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We house elves were
treated like vermin, sir. Of course, Dobby is still treated like vermin...uh,
huh, huh, huh! Aah, ahh...
HARRY: Why do you wear that thing Dobby?
DOBBY: This, sir? It is a mark of the house-elves’ enslavement. Dobby can
only be freed if his master presents him with clothes. Ah! Listen. Listen!
Terrible things are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay
here, now that history is to repeat itself.
HARRY: Repeat itself? You mean this has happened before?
DOBBY: Ah! I shouldn’t have said that! Oh! Ah! Dah! Bad Dobby! Bad!
HARRY: Dobby, stop it! Stop it! Stop, Dobby! Tell me, Dobby. When did this
happen before? Who’s doing it now?
DOBBY: Dobby cannot say, sir. Dobby only wants Harry Potter to be safe.
HARRY: No, Dobby. Tell me. Who is it?
DOBBY: (Snap!)
MADAME POMFREY: Put him here. What happened?
DUMBLEDORE: There’s been another attack.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: I think- do ya know- I think he’s been Petrified,
Madame Pomfrey. Look! Perhaps he managed to take a picture of his attacker...
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: What can this mean, Albus?
DUMBLEDORE: It means...that our students are in great danger.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: What should I tell the staff.
DUMBLEDORE: The truth. Tell them Hogwarts is no longer safe. It is as we
feared, Minerva. The Chamber of Secrets has indeed been opened again.
Scene 17: Dueling Club.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - daytime
HERMIONE: Again? You mean the Chamber of Secrets has been opened before?
RON: Of course. Don’t you see? Lucius Malfoy must have opened it when he was
at school here. And now he’s taught Draco how to do it.
HERMIONE: Maybe. We’ll have to wait for the Polyjuice Potion to know for
RON: Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the
middle of a girl’s lavatory? Don’t you think we’ll get caught?
HERMIONE: Heh... No. No one ever comes in here.
RON: Why?
HERMIONE: Moaning Myrtle.
RON: Who?
HERMIONE: Moaning Myrtle.
RON: Who’s Moaning Myrtle?
MOANING MYRTLE: I’m Moaning Myrtle! I wouldn’t expect you to know me! Who
would ever talk about ugly, miserable, moping Moaning Myrtle? Huh...aaaah!
HERMIONE: She’s a little sensitive.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – set up for Dueling Club - daytime
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Gather ‘round, gather ‘round! Can everybody see me? Can
you all hear me? Excellent! In light of the dark events of recent weeks,
Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little Dueling
Club to train you all up in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions- for full details, see my published
works. Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape. He has sportingly
agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don’t want any of you
youngsters to worry- you’ll still have your Potions master when I’m through
with him, never fear. One, two, threeSNAPE:
HERMIONE: Do you think he’s all right?
RON: Who cares?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but
if you don’t mind me saying, it was pretty obvious- ah- what you were about
to do. And if I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy.
SNAPE: Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block
unfriendly spells, Professor.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape! Ah... Let’s
have a volunteer pair! Um, Potter, Weasley, how about you?
SNAPE: Weasley’s wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We’ll be
sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone
from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Good luck, Potter.
HARRY: Thank you, sir.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Wands at the ready.
DRACO: Scared, Potter?
HARRY: You wish.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: On the count of three, cast your charms to disarm your
opponent- only to disarm. We don’t want any accidents here. One, two--
DRACO: Everte statium!
CRABBE: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
HARRY: Rictusempra!
Scene 18: A Parselmouth.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: I said disarm only!
DRACO: Serpensortia!
SNAPE: Don’t move, Potter. I’ll get rid of it for you.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Allow me, Professor Snape. Alarte ascendare!
HARRY: Sya- hassa- she. Sya- hasi- heth. Sya- hasi- heth.
SNAPE: Vipera evenesca.
JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY: What are you playing at?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - daytime
RON: You’re a Parselmouth? Why didn’t you tell us?
HARRY: I’m a what?
HERMIONE: You can talk to snakes.
HARRY: I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the
zoo once. Uh, once! But, so what? I bet loads of people here can do it.
HERMIONE: No, they can’t. It’s not a very common gift, Harry. This is bad.
HARRY: What’s bad? If I hadn’t told that snake not to attack JustinRON:
Oh, that’s what you said to it!
HARRY: You were there! You heard me!
RON: I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language?
HARRY: I spoke a different language? But- I didn’t realize I- how can I speak
a language without knowing I can?
HERMIONE: I don’t know, Harry, but it sounded like you were egging the snake
on, or something. Harry, listen to me. There’s a reason the symbol of
Slytherin House is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He could
talk to snakes, too. RON: Exactly! Now the whole school’s gonna think you’re his great- greatgreat
grandson, or something.
HARRY: But I’m not... I can’t be.
HERMIONE: He lived a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Study hall - night
OTHERS: (whispering)
HARRY: I’ll see you back in the common room.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
VOICE: Blood...I want blood...They all must die. Kill... Kill... Kill! Time
to kill.
Scene 19: Nothing to tell.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – flooded corridor - night
FILCH: Caught in the act! I’ll have you out this time, Potter. Mark my words.
HARRY: No! Mr. Filch! Y-you- you don’t understand!
HARRY: Professor... I swear I didn’t!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This is out of my hands, Potter.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entrance to Dumbledore’s office - night
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Professor Dumbledore will be waiting for you. Sherbet
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - night
HARRY: Professor Dumbledore?
SORTING HAT: Bee in your bonnet, Potter?
HARRY: I... I-I was- I was just wondering if you’d put me in the right house.
SORTING HAT: Yes, you were particularly difficult to place. But, I stand by
what I said last year-- you would have done well in Slytherin.
HARRY: You’re wrong.
FAWKES: (Brrr...) (Poof)
HARRY: Professor! Sir, your bird- there was nothing I could do- he- he just
caught fire!
DUMBLEDORE: Oh, and about time, too. He’s been looking dreadful for days.
Pity you had to see him on a burning day. Fawkes is a phoenix, Harry. They
burst into flame when it is time for them to die, and then they are reborn
from the ashes.
FAWKES: (Brrrt)
DUMBLEDORE: Ah, fascinating creatures, phoenixes. They can carry immensely
heavy loads, and their- their tears have healing powers.
HAGRID: Professor Dumbledore, sir! Wait! Listen! Professor Dumbledore, sir,
it wasn’t Harry!
In fact, I’d be prepared ter swear it in front o’ the Ministry of
DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid! Relax. I do not believe that Harry attacked anyone.
HAGRID: Well, of course you don’t, and... Oh... Oh, right. Well, I’ll, umhum.
I’ll just wait outside, then.
HARRY: You don’t think it was me, Professor?
DUMBLEDORE: No, Harry. I do not think it was you... But I must ask you, is
there something you wish to tell me? HARRY: No, sir. Nothing.
DUMBLEDORE: Very well, then. Off you go.
Scene 20: Polyjuice Potion.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – winter - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall decorated for Christmas - night
HERMIONE: Everything’s set. We just need a bit of who you’re changing into.
HARRY: Crabbe and Goyle.
HERMIONE: We also need to make sure that the real Crabbe and Goyle can’t
burst in on us while we’re interrogating Malfoy.
RON: How?
HERMIONE: I’ve got it all worked out. I filled these with a simple Sleeping
Draught. Simple, but powerful. Now, once they’re asleep hide them in the
broomstick cupboard and pull out a few of their hairs, and put on their
RON: Whose hair are you ripping out then?
HERMIONE: I’ve already got mine. Millicent Bulstrode– Slytherin- I got this
off her robes. I’m going to go check on the Polyjuice Potion. Make sure that
Crabbe and Goyle find these.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entrance hall - night
RON: Ahem...
HARRY: Ron, maybe I should do it?
RON: Yeah. Right.
HARRY: Wingardium leviosa. Here they come.
CRABBE: It’s good right? Ah... Cool!
RON: How thick could you get?
HARRY: Come on. Let’s get ‘em.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - night
HERMIONE: We’ll have exactly one hour before we change back into ourselves...
Add the hairs.
RON: Ugh- essence of Crabbe.
RON: I think I’m gonna be sick!
HARRY: Ughh!
RON (as CRABBE): Uh... Harry?
HARRY (as GOYLE): Ron!
RON (as CRABBE): Bloody hell!
HARRY (as GOYLE): We still sound like ourselves. You need to sound more like
RON (as CRABBE): Uh... Bloody hell.
HARRY (as GOYLE): Excellent.
RON (as CRABBE): But where’s Hermione?
HERMIONE: I- I don’t think I’m going. You go on without me!
HARRY (as GOYLE): Hermione, are you okay?
HERMIONE: Just go. You’re wasting time!
HARRY (as GOYLE): Come on.
Scene 21: Harry and Ron transformed.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor to the dungeons - night
HARRY (as GOYLE): I think the Slytherin common room’s this way. RON (as CRABBE): Okay.
PERCY: Excuse me.
RON (as CRABBE): What are you doing d- uh, I mean... What are you doing down
PERCY: I happen to be a school prefect. You, on the other hand, have no
business wandering the corridors at this time of night. What are your names
RON (as CRABBE): Uhh...
HARRY (as GOYLE): I’m...
DRACO: Crabbe, Goyle! Where have you two been? Pigging out in the Great Hall
all this time? Why are you wearing glasses?
HARRY (as GOYLE): Ah- um... Reading.
DRACO: Reading?
HARRY (as GOYLE): Uh-huh.
DRACO: I didn’t know you could read. And what are you doing down here,
PERCY: Mind your attitude, Malfoy.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Slytherin common room - night
DRACO: Well, sit down. You’d never know the Weasleys were pure-bloods, the
way they behave. They’re an embarrassment to the wizarding world. All of
them. What’s wrong with you, Crabbe?
RON (as CRABBE): Ahem...Stomachache.
DRACO: You know, I’m surprised that the Daily Prophet hasn’t done a report on
all these attacks. I suppose Dumbledore is trying to hush it all up. Father
always said Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.
HARRY (as GOYLE): You’re wrong!
DRACO: What? You think there’s someone here who’s worse than Dumbledore?
Well? Do you?
HARRY (as GOYLE): Harry Potter? (gulp)
DRACO: Good one, Goyle. You’re absolutely right. Saint Potter. And people
actually think that he’s the Heir of Slytherin!
HARRY (as GOYLE): But then you must have some idea who’s behind it all.
DRACO: You know I don’t Goyle. I told you yesterday. How many times do I have
to tell you? Is this yours? But my father did say this: It’s been fifty years
since the Chamber was opened. He wouldn’t tell me who opened it-- only that
they were expelled. The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a
Mudblood died. So, it’s only a matter of time before one of them is killed
this time. As for me, I hope it’s Granger. What’s the matter with you two?
You’re acting very...odd.
HARRY (as GOYLE): It’s his... stomachache. Calm down.
RON (as CRABBE): S- scar.
HARRY (as GOYLE): Hair!
DRACO: Hey! Where are you going?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - night
RON: That was close!
HARRY: Hermione, come out. We’ve got loads to tell you!
HERMIONE: Go away!
MOANING MYRTLE: Ahh! Wait till you see. It’s awful! He- ha, ha, he- hee!
HARRY: Hermione? A- are you OK?
HERMIONE: Do you remember me telling you that the Polyjuice Potion was only
for human transformations? It was cat’s hair I plucked off Millicent
Bulstrode’s robes. Look at my face.
MOANING MYRTLE: Hee, ha, ha!
RON: Look at your tail! MOANING MYRTLE: Ha, ha, ha!
Scene 22: The diary.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – stormy night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – moving staircases - night
RON: Have you spoken to Hermione?
HARRY: She should be out of hospital in a few days, when she stops coughing
up fur balls... What’s this?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – flooded corridor - night
RON: Yuck!
HARRY: Looks like Moaning Myrtle’s flooded the bathroom.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – girl’s bathroom - night
MOANING MYRTLE: Oooh, oooh, ooooh, huh– huh. Come to throw something else at
HARRY: Why would I throw something at you?
MOANING MYRTLE: Don’t ask me! Here I am, minding my own business, and someone
thinks it’s funny to throw a book at me.
RON: But, it can’t hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it’ll
just go right through you.
MOANING MYRTLE: Sure! Let’s all throw books at Myrtle because she can’t feel
it! Ten points if you get through her stomach! Fifty points if it goes
through her head!
HARRY: But, who threw it at you, anyway?
MOANING MYRTLE: I don’t know, I didn’t see them. I was just sitting in the Ubend
thinking about death - aah - and it fell through the top of my head. Uhhuh.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Common Room - night
HARRY: ‘Tom Marvolo Riddle.’
HARRY: ‘My name is Harry Potter.’
DIARY: Hello Harry Potter, my name is Tom Riddle.
HAARY: ‘Do you know anything about the Chamber of Secrets?’
HARRY: ‘Can you tell me?’
DIARY: No. But I can show you. Let me take you back fifty years ago...13th
Scene 22: Tom Riddle.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – fifty years ago – corridor, staircase - night
HARRY: Excuse me. Could you tell me what’s going on here? Are you Tom Riddle?
Hello, can you hear me?
DUMBLEDORE: Riddle! Come.
TOM RIDDLE: Professor Dumbledore.
HARRY: Dumbledore?
DUMBLEDORE: It is not wise to be wandering around this late hour, Tom.
TOM RIDDLE: Yes, Professor. I- I suppose I- I had to see for myself if the
rumors were true.
DUMBLEDORE: I’m afraid they are, Tom. They are true.
TOM RIDDLE: About the school, as well? I don’t have a home to go to. They
wouldn’t really close Hogwarts, would they Professor?
DUMBLEDORE: I understand Tom, but I’m afraid Headmaster Dippet may have no
choice. TOM RIDDLE: Sir- if it all stopped- if the person responsible was caught--
DUMBLEDORE: Is there something you wish to tell me?
TOM RIDDLE: No, sir. Nothing.
DUMBLEDORE: Very well, then. Off you go.
TOM RIDDLE: Good night, sir.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – fifty years ago – corridors to dungeons - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – fifty years ago – dungeons - night
HAGRID: Let’s get yeh out of there.
TOM RIDDLE: Evening, Hagrid. I’m going to have to turn you in, Hagrid. I
don’t think you meant it to kill anyone, but--
HAGRID: You can’t! You don’t understand.
TOM RIDDLE: The dead girl’s parents will be here tomorrow. The least Hogwarts
can do is make sure the thing that killed their daughter is slaughtered.
HAGRID: It wasn’t him. Aragog never killed no one! Never!
TOM RIDDLE: Monsters don’t make good pets, Hagrid. Now, stand aside.
TOM RIDDLE: Stand aside, Hagrid!
TOM RIDDLE: Cistem aperio! Arania exumai!
HAGRID: Aragog! Aragog!
TOM RIDDLE: I can’t let you go. They’ll have your wand for this, Hagrid.
You’ll be expelled.
HARRY: Hagrid! Haagriid!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Common Room - night
HARRY: Woah!
Scene 24: Petrified.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
HARRY: It was Hagrid. Hagrid opened the Chanter of Secrets fifty years ago.
HERMIONE: It can’t be Hagrid. It just can’t be.
RON: We don’t even know this Tom Riddle. He sounds like a dirty, rotten
snitch to me.
HARRY: The monster had killed somebody, Ron. What would any of us have done?
HERMIONE: Look. Hagrid’s our friend. Why don’t we just go and ask him about
RON: That’ll be a cheerful visit! “Hello, Hagrid! Tell us, have you been
setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?”
HAGRID: Mad and hairy? You wouldn’t be talking about me now, would ya?
HARRY: W- what’s that you’ve got, Hagrid?
HAGRID: Oh, It’s a- Flesh-Eatin’ Slug Repellent. For the Mandrakes, ya know.
Now, accordin’ to Professor Sprout, they’ve still got a bit o’ growing up to
do. But, once their acne’s cleared up, we’ll be able to chop ‘em up and stew
‘em, and then we’ll get those people down at the hospital un-Petrified. In
the meantime, though, you three had best be lookin’ after yourselves. All
right? Hmm.
HAGRID: Hello, Neville!
NEVILLE: Harry- I don’t know who did it, but you’d better come! Come on!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory HERMIONE: It had to be a Gryffindor. Nobody else knows our password- unless
it wasn’t a student.
RON: Who ever it was, they must have been looking for something.
HARRY: And they found it. Tom Riddle’s diary is gone.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch team tent - daytime
WOOD: Alright, listen up. We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn’t stand a
chance. We’re stronger, quicker and smarter.
FRED: And not to mention, they’re dead scared that Harry’ll Petrify them if
they fly anywhere near him.
WOOD: Well, that too. Professor McGonagall.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This match has been cancelled.
WOOD: We can’t cancel Quidditch.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Silence, Wood. You and your teammates will go to
Gryffindor Tower, now. Potter, you and I will find Mr. Weasley. There’s
something the both of you have to see.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital wing - daytime
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: I warn you, this could be a wee bit of a shock.
RON: Hermione!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: She was found near the Library, along with this. Does
it mean anything to either of you?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - daytime
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Could I have your attention please? Because of recent
events, these new rules will be put into effect immediately. “All students
will return to their house common rooms by six o’clock every evening. All
students will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No exceptions.” I
should tell you this: unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught, it
is likely the school will be closed.
HARRY: We’ve got to talk to Hagrid, Ron. I can’t believe it’s him, but if he
did set the monster loose last time, he’ll know how to get inside the Chamber
of Secrets, and that’s a start.
RON: But you heard McGonagall! We’re not allowed to leave the tower except
for class.
HARRY: I think it’s time to get my Dad’s old cloak out again.
Scene 25: Cornelius Fudge.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – exterior - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – interior - night
HAGRID: Who’s there? Hello? Hello?
HARRY: What’s that for?
HAGRID: Oh, nothing. I- I was expecting, ah... It doesn’t matter- come on inI
just made a pot o’ tea.
HARRY: Hagrid, are you okay?
HAGRID: I’m fine! I’m alright.
HARRY: Did you hear about Hermione?
HAGRID: Oh, yeah. I heard about that, all righ’.
HARRY: Look, we have to ask you something. Do you know who’s opened the
Chamber of Secrets?
HAGRID: What you had to understand about that is— (knock, knock, knock) Quick
under the cloak. Don’t say a word. Be quiet, both o’ you... Professor
Dumbledore, sir!
DUMBLEDORE: Good evening, Hagrid. I wonder, could we...? HAGRID: Of course! Come in! Come in.
RON: That’s Dad’s boss! Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Bad business, Hagrid. Very bad business. Had to come-- three
attacks on Muggle-borns. Things have gone far enough. The Ministry’s got to
HAGRID: Oh, but I never- you know I never, Professor!
DUMBLEDORE: I want it understood, Cornelius, that Hagrid has my full
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Albus look, Hagrid’s record is against him. I’ve got to take
HAGRID: Take me? Take me where? Not Azkaban Prison?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: I’m afraid we have no choice, Hagrid.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Already here, Fudge? Good...
HAGRID: What’re you doin’ here? Get outta my house!
LUCIUS MALFOY: Believe me, I take absolutely no pleasure being inside your--
you call this a house? Huh! No. I simply called at the school, and was told
the headmaster was here.
DUMBLEDORE: Well, what exactly is it that you want with me?
LUCIUS MALFOY: The other governors and I have decided it’s time for you to
step aside. This is an order of suspension. You’ll find all twelve signatures
on it. I’m afraid we feel you’ve rather lost your touch. Well, what, with all
these attacks, there’ll be no Muggle-borns left at Hogwarts. I can only
imagine what an awful loss that would be to the school.
HAGRID: Yeh can’ take Professor Dumbledore away. Take him away, an’ the
Muggle-borns won’ stand a chance! You mark my words, there’ll be killin’s
LUCIUS MALFOY: You think so?
DUMBLEDORE: Calm yourself, Hagrid. If the governors desire my removal, I
will, of course, step aside. However, you will find that help will always be
given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Admirable sentiments. Shall we? Fudge!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Come, Hagrid... Well?
HAGRID: Ahem! If, uh, if anybody was looking for some stuff, then all they’d
have to do would be to follow the spiders. Yup! That would lead them right!
That’s all I have to say. Oh, and someone’ll need to feed Fang while I’m
FANG: (Grrr...)
RON: Hagrid’s right! With Dumbledore gone, there’ll be an attack a day!
HARRY: Look! Well, come on. Come on, Fang!
Scene 26: Aragog.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – exterior - night
HARRY: Come on!
RON: What?!
HARRY: You heard what Hagrid said; ‘Follow the spiders.’
RON: They’re headed to the Dark Forest! Why spiders! Why couldn’t it be
“follow the butterflies?”
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest - night
RON: Harry, I don’t like this... Harry, I don’t like this at all!
HARRY: Shush!
RON: Can we go back now?
HARRY: Come on!
ARAGOG: Who is it?
HARRY: Don’t panic. ARAGOG: Hagrid? Is that you?
HARRY: We’re friends of Hagrid’s. And you? Y- y-you’re Aragog aren’t you?
ARAGOG: Yes. Hagrid has never sent men into our hollow before.
HARRY: He’s in trouble. Up at the school, there have been attacks. They think
it’s Hagrid. They think he opened the Chamber of Secrets, like before.
ARAGOG: That’s a lie! Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets.
HARRY: Then you’re not the monster.
ARAGOG: No! The monster was born in the castle. I came to Hagrid from a
distant land, in the pocket of a traveler.
RON: Harry.
HARRY: Shush. But if you’re not the monster, then- then what did kill that
girl fifty years ago?
ARAGOG: We do not speak of it. It is an ancient creature we spiders fear
above all others.
HARRY: But have you seen it?
ARAGOG: I never saw any part of the castle but the box in which Hagrid kept
me. The girl was discovered in a bathroom. When I was accused, Hagrid brought
me here.
RON: Harry!
HARRY: What?
RON: Ahh- hhh...
Scene 27: Spider attack.
HARRY: Well, thank you. We’ll just...go.
ARAGOG: Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Hagrid on my
command. But I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into
our midst. Good-bye, friend of Hagrid.
RON: Can we panic now?
RON: Know any spells?
HARRY: One, but it’s not powerful enough for all of them.
RON: Where’s Hermione when you need her?
HARRY: Let’s go! Arania exumai! Go!
HARRY, RON: Whoah!
RON: Glad we’re out of there. Ah- Aaaah!
HARRY: Arania exumai!
RON: Thanks for that.
HARRY: Don’t mention it. Get us out of here. Now! Come on! Come on! Move
HARRY: Go on! Go! Get us in the air.
RON: The flying gear’s jammed!
HARRY: Come on! Pull!
RON: I’m trying!
RON: Follow the spiders! Follow the spiders! If Hagrid ever gets out of
Azkaban, I’ll kill him! I mean, what was the point of sending us in there?
What have we found out?
HARRY: We know one thing. Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets. He was
Scene 28: Missing.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – dusk
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital wing - dusk
HARRY: Wish you were here Hermione. We need you... now, more than ever.
RON: What’s that? HARRY: Ron, this is why Hermione was in the Library the day she was attacked.
Come on!
LOCATION: Hogwarts - corridor - night
HARRY: ‘Of the many fearsome beasts that roam our land, none is more deadly
than the basilisk. Capable of living for hundreds of years, instant death
awaits any who meet this giant serpent’s eye. Spiders flee before it.’ Ron,
this is it. The monster in the Chamber of Secrets is a basilisk. That’s why I
can hear it speak. It’s a snake!
RON: But if it kills by looking people in the eye, why is it no one’s dead?
HARRY: Because no one did look it in the eye. Not directly, at least. Colin
saw it through his camera. Justin...Justin must have seen the basilisk
through Nearly Headless Nick. Nick got the full blast of it- but he’s a
ghost- he couldn’t die again. And Hermione...had the mirror. I bet you
anything she was using it to look around corners, in case it came along.
RON: And Mrs. Norris? I’m pretty sure she didn’t have a camera or a mirror,
HARRY: The water. There was water on the floor that night. She only saw the
basilisk’s reflection. ‘Spiders flee before it.’ It all fits!
RON: But how’s a basilisk been getting around? A dirty great snake- someone
would have seen it.
HARRY: Hermione’s answered that, too.
RON: Pipes? It’s using the plumbing!
HARRY: Remember what Aragog said, about that girl fifty years ago? She died
in a bathroom? What if she never left?
RON: Moaning Myrtle.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: All students are to return to their house dormitories
at once. All teachers to the second floor corridor, immediately.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: As you can see, the Heir of Slytherin has left another
message. Our worst fear has been realized. A student has been taken by the
monster into the Chamber itself. The students must be sent home. I’m afraid
this is the end of Hogwarts.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: So sorry- dozed off- what have I missed?
SNAPE: A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Your moment has
come, at last.
SNAPE: Weren’t you saying just last night that you’ve known all along where
the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, that’s settled. We’ll leave you to deal with the
monster, Gilderoy. Your skills, after all, are legend.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Very well- ah- I’ll just be in my office getting, umgetting
MADAME POMFREY: Who is it that the monster’s taken, Minerva?
RON: ‘Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever.’ Ginny...
Scene 29: Chamber of Secrets.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA Classroom - night
HARRY: Lockhart may be useless, but he’s going to try and get into the
Chamber. At least we can tell him what we know.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Professor Lockhart’s office - night
HARRY: Professor, we have some information for you! Are you going somewhere? PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Uh, ah- well, yes- um, urgent call- unavoidable- got to
RON: What about my sister?!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Well, um- as to that, most unfortunate. No one regrets
more than I.
RON: You’re the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! You can’t go now!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Well- I must say- when I took the job there was nothing
in the job description about aHARRY:
You’re running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Books can be misleading!
HARRY: You wrote them!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn’t
have sold half as well if people didn’t think I’d done all those things!
HARRY: You’re a fraud! You’ve just been taking credit for what other wizards
have done!
RON: Is there anything you can do?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Yes, now you mention it. I’m rather gifted with Memory
Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And
I’d never have sold another book. In fact, ah...I’m ah...going to have to do
the same to you.
HARRY: Don’t even think about it.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - night
MOANING MYRTLE: Oh! Who’s there? Oh! Hello, Harry! Ron. What do you want?
HARRY: To ask you how you died.
MOANING MYRTLE: Oh! It was dreadful. It happened right here in this very
cubicle. I’d hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. I
was crying, and then I heard somebody come in.
HARRY: Who was it Myrtle?
MOANING MYRTLE: I don’t know. I was Distraught! Huhh-huh...But they said
something funny, a kind of made up language. And I realized it was a boy
speaking, so I unlocked the door to tell him to go away and... I died.
HARRY: Just like that? How?
MOANING MYRTLE: I just remember seeing a pair of great big yellow eyes...over
there, by that sink. Ohhhhooo...
HARRY: This is it. This is it, Ron. I think this is the entrance to the
Chamber of Secrets.
RON: Say something. Harry, say something in Parseltongue!
HARRY: Hesha- Hassah.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Excellent, Harry. Haa! Good work! Well then, I’ll just
be, ah... There’s no need for me to stay.
HARRY: Oh, yes there is! You first.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Now, boys what good will it do?
RON: Better you than us.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Um...but...obviously, yes. Sure you don’t want to test it
first? No! Aaaah! It’s really quite filthy down here.
HARRY: All right. Let’s go.
MOANING MYRTLE: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you’re welcome to share my
toilet. Hee, hee.
HARRY: Uh...thanks Myrtle.
HARRY & RON: Aaah!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – underground chambers
RON: Ugh!
HARRY: Now remember, any sign of movement, close your eyes straightaway.
RON: Go on.
----------Scene 30: Backfire.
HARRY: This way.
RON: What’s this?
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: It looks like a... snake.
HARRY: It’s a snakeskin.
RON: Bloody hell. Whatever shed this must be sixty feet long-- or more! Heart
of a lion, this one.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: The adventure ends here, boys. But don’t fret. The world
will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two
tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. So, you first,
Mr. Potter. Say good-bye to your memories. Obliviate!
RON: Harry! Harry!
HARRY: Ron! Ron, are you ok?
RON: I’m fine!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Uhh... Hello. Who are you?
RON: Um...Ron Weasley.
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Really? And uh, who- who am I?
RON: Lockhart’s memory charm backfired. He hasn’t got a clue who he is!
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: It’s an odd sort of place this, isn’t it? Do you live
RON: No!
What’ll do I do now?
HARRY: You wait here and try and shift some of this rock so we can get back
through. I’ll go on and find Ginny!
HARRY: Hesha- Hassah.
Scene 31: Heir of Slytherin.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Chamber of Secrets
HARRY: Ginny... Ginny! Oh, Ginny, please don’t be dead. Wake up. Wake up!
Please, wake up!
TOM RIDDLE: She won’t wake.
HARRY: Tom. Tom Riddle! What do you mean, ‘she won’t wake?’ She’s not...?
TOM RIDDLE: She’s still alive, but only just.
HARRY: Are you a ghost?
TOM RIDDLE: A memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years.
HARRY: She’s cold as ice. Ginny, please don’t be dead. Wake up! You’ve got to
help me, Tom. There’s a basilisk.
TOM RIDDLE: It won’t come until it’s called.
HARRY: Give me my wand, Tom.
TOM RIDDLE: You won’t be needing it.
HARRY: Listen, we’ve got to go! We’ve got to save her!
TOM RIDDLE: I’m afraid I can’t do that, Harry. You see, as poor Ginny grows
weaker, I grow stronger. Yes Harry, it was Ginny Weasley who opened the
Chamber of Secrets.
HARRY: No. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t!
TOM RIDDLE: It was Ginny who set the basilisk on the Mudbloods and Filch’s
cat, Ginny who wrote the threatening messages on the walls.
HARRY: But why?
TOM RIDDLE: Because I told her to. You’ll find that I can be very persuasive.
Not that she knew what she was doing. She was, shall we say, in a kind of
trance. Still, the power of the diary began to scare her. And she tried to
dispose of it in the girl’s bathroom. And then, who should find it, but you?
The very person I was most anxious to meet.
HARRY: But, why did you want to meet me? TOM RIDDLE: I knew I had to talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to
show you my capture of that brainless oaf, Hagrid, to gain your trust.
HARRY: Hagrid’s my friend! And you framed him, didn’t you?
TOM RIDDLE: It was my word against Hagrid’s. Only Dumbledore seemed to think
he was innocent.
HARRY: I’ll bet Dumbledore saw right through you.
TOM RIDDLE: He certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that. I
knew it wouldn’t be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at
school, so I decided to leave behind a diary preserving my sixteen-year-old
self in its pages, so that one day I would be able to lead another to finish
Salazar Slytherin’s noble work.
HARRY: Well, you haven’t finished it this time. In a few hours, the Mandrake
Draught will be ready, and everyone who was Petrified will be all right
TOM RIDDLE: Haven’t I told you? Killing Mudbloods doesn’t matter to me
anymore. For many months now, my new target... has been you. How is it that a
baby, with no extraordinary magical talent, was able to defeat the greatest
wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord
Voldemort’s powers were destroyed?
HARRY: Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time.
TOM RIDDLE: Voldemort is my past, present, and future. (writes in the air)
HARRY: You! You’re the Heir of Slytherin. You’re Voldemort.
TOM RIDDLE: Surely, you didn’t think I was going to keep my filthy Muggle
father’s name? No. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards
everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I became the greatest sorcerer
in the world.
HARRY: Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!
TOM RIDDLE: Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of
HARRY: He’ll never be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him!
TOM RIDDLE: So, this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender, a songbird
and an old hat. Shearhas- Samnathas- Sélithaeine.
Scene 32: The Basilisk.
TOM RIDDLE: Let’s match the power of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar
Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter. Sethae- He- This. Parseltongue
won’t save you now, Potter. It only obeys me!
TOM RIDDLE: No! Your bird may have blinded the basilisk, but it can still
hear you!
TOM RIDDLE: Yes, Potter, the process is nearly complete. In a few minutes
Ginny will be dead, and I will cease to be a memory. Lord Voldemort will
return- very... much... alive!
HARRY: Ginny-
Scene 33: Healing powers.
TOM RIDDLE: Remarkable isn’t it, how quickly the venom of the basilisk
penetrates the body? I’d guess you have little more than a minute to live.
You’ll be with your dear Mudblood mother soon, Harry. Funny, the damage a
silly little book can do... especially in the hands of a silly, little girl.
What are you doing? Stop. No! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
HARRY: Ginny...
GINNY: Harry. It was me- but I swear, I didn’t mean to! Riddle made me,
and... Harry, you’re hurt!
HARRY: Don’t worry. Ginny, you need to get yourself out. Follow the Chamber,
and you’ll find Ron. You were brilliant, Fawkes. I just wasn’t quick enough... Of course! Phoenix tears have healing powers. Thanks! It’s alright,
Ginny. It’s over. It’s just a memory.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – flying up out of chambers - night
PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Amazing! This is just like magic!
Scene 34: Out of the hat.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - morning
DUMBLEDORE: You both realize, of course, that in the past few hours you have
broken perhaps a dozen school rules?
HARRY, RON: Yes, sir.
DUMBLEDORE: And there is sufficient evidence to have you both expelled.
HARRY, RON: Yes, sir.
DUMBLEDORE: Therefore, it is only fitting, that you both receive Special
Awards for Services to the School.
RON: Thanks, sir!
DUMBLEDORE: And now, Mr. Weasley, if you would, have an owl deliver these
release papers to Azkaban? I believe we- we want our gamekeeper back.
Harry... first, I want to thank you, Harry. You must have shown me real
loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to
you. And, um... second, I sense that something is troubling you. Am I right,
HARRY: It’s just... You see, sir I- I couldn’t help but notice certain
things, certain- certain similarities, between Tom Riddle and me.
DUMBLEDORE: I see. Well, you can speak Parseltongue, Harry. Why? Because Lord
Voldemort can speak Parseltongue. If I’m not mistaken, Harry, he transferred
some of his powers to you the night he gave you that scar.
HARRY: Voldemort transferred some of his powers... to me?
DUMBLEDORE: Not intentionally, but yes.
HARRY: So the Sorting Hat was right! I should be in Slytherin.
DUMBLEDORE: It’s true, Harry. You possess many of the qualities that
Voldemort himself prizes. Determination, resourcefulness, and if I may say
so, a certain disregard for the rules. Why then did the Sorting Hat place you
in Gryffindor?
HARRY: Because I asked it to.
DUMBLEDORE: Exactly, Harry! Exactly! Which makes you different from
Voldemort. It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our
choices. If you want proof why you belong in Gryffindor, then I suggest that
you look more closely at this. Be careful.
HARRY: Godric Gryffindor.
DUMBLEDORE: Ah- it would take a true Gryffindor to pull that out of the hat.
Scene 35: Dobby’s reward.
HARRY: Dobby! So this is your master! The family you serve is the Malfoys.
DOBBY: Um-humm...
LUCIUS MALFOY: I’ll deal with you later. Out of my way, Potter! So, it’s
true-- you have returned!
DUMBLEDORE: When the governors learned that Arthur Weasley’s daughter was
taken into the Chamber, they saw fit to summon me back.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Ridiculous!
DUMBLEDORE: Curiously, Lucius, several of them were under the impression that
you would curse their families, if they did not agree to suspend me in the
first place.
LUCIUS MALFOY: How dare you?!
DUMBLEDORE: I beg your pardon? LUCIUS MALFOY: My sole concern has always been, and will always be, the
welfare of this school and, of course, its students. The culprit has been
identified, I presume?
LUCIUS MALFOY: And? Who was it?
DUMBLEDORE: Voldemort.
DUMBLEDORE: Only, this time, he chose to act through somebody else, by means
of this.
DUMBLEDORE: Fortunately, our young Mr. Potter discovered it. One hopes that
no more of Lord Voldemort’s old school things should find their way into
innocent hands. The consequences for the one responsible would be severe.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Well, let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to
save the day.
HARRY: Don’t worry. I will be.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Dumbledore. Come, Dobby. We’re leaving.
DOBBY: Ahh! Oow!
HARRY: Sir, I wonder if I could have that?
LOCATION: Hogwarts - hallway - daytime
HARRY: Mr. Malfoy! Mr. Malfoy! I have something of yours.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Mine? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
HARRY: Oh, I think you do, sir. I think you slipped the diary into Ginny
Weasley’s cauldron, that day at Diagon Alley.
LUCIUS MALFOY: You do, do you? Why don’t you prove it? Come, Dobby.
HARRY: Open it.
DOBBY: Master has given Dobby a sock!
LUCIUS MALFOY: What? I didn’t giveDOBBY:
Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!
LUCIUS MALFOY: You’ve lost me my servant!
DOBBY: You shall not harm Harry Potter!
MALFOY: Your parents were meddlesome fools, too. You mark my words,
Potter, one day soon you are going to meet the same sticky end!
DOBBY: Harry Potter freed Dobby! How can Dobby ever repay him?
HARRY: Just promise me something.
DOBBY: Anything, sir!
HARRY: Never try to save my life again.
Scene 36: Welcome back.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Leaving Feast - night
OTHER: Welcome back, Sir Nicholas!
SIR NICHOLAS: Thank you!
OTHER: Good evening, Sir Nicholas!
SIR NICHOLAS: Good evening!
OTHER: Good to see you, Sir Nicholas!
SIR NICHOLAS: Thank you! Hello! Hermione! Welcome back!
HERMIONE: Thanks, Sir Nicholas!
NEVILLE: Harry- it’s Hermione!
RON: Uhh-um... Welcome back, Hermione.
HERMIONE: It’s good to be back! Congratulations! I can’t believe you solved
it! HARRY: Well, we had loads of help from you. We couldn’t have done it without
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Could I have your attention, please?
DUMBLEDORE: Before we begin the feast, let us have a round of applause for
Professor Sprout and Madame Pomfrey, whose Mandrake juice has been so
successfully administered to all who had been Petrified. Also, in light of
the recent events, as a school treat, all exams have been canceled.
HAGRID: Sorry I’m late! The owl that delivered my release papers got all lost
and confused. Some ruddy bird called Errol. And I’d just like to say that aif
it hadn’t been for you, Harry, and Ron, and Hermione, o’ course, I woulduh-
I’d still be you-know-where, so I- I’d just like to say ‘Thanks.’
HARRY: Well, there’s no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.
OTHERS: Yeah! Yeah!
Scene 37: End Credits.
-The End- 

Scene 1: Under covers prologue.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night
HARRY: Lumos Maxima...
HARRY: Lumos Maxima...
HARRY: Lumos Maxima...
HARRY: Lumos Maxima...
HARRY: Lumos... Maxima!
Scene 2: Aunt Marge’s big mistake.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – entryway - daytime
AUNT PETUNIA: Harry! Harry! Harry! Open the door!
AUNT PETUNIA: Marge! Lovely to see you- How was the train?
HARRY: Uncle Vernon. I need you to sign this form.
UNCLE VERNON: What is it?
HARRY: Nothing. School stuff.
UNCLE VERNON: Later perhaps, if you behave.
HARRY: I will if she does.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Dining room - daytime
AUNT MARGE: Oh- Still here, are you?
AUNT MARGE: Don’t say 'yes' in that ungrateful way. Good of my brother to keep
ya. He'd have been straight into an orphanage if he'd been dumped on my
doorstep, Vernon.
DUDLEY: Ah-ha-ha-ha... Ah-ha!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - daytime
AUNT MARGE: Is that my Dudders?! Is that my little neffy-poo? Come give us a
kiss. Come on up, up, up! Oh-ho, yes, hmm. That’s a good boy!
UNCLE VERNON: Take Marge’s suitcase upstairs.
HARRY: Okay.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Dining room - night
AUNT MARGE: Now, finish that off for mummy. Good boy, Rippy-pooh.
UNCLE VERNON: Can I tempt you, Marge?
AUNT MARGE: Just a small one. Excellent nosh, Petunia. Heh- eh, a bit more.
Usually it’s just a fry-up for me, what with twelve dogs. A bit more... That's a
boy. Umm. Aah. You want to try a little drop of brandy? A little bit ‘o brundybrandy-wundy-wandy
for Rippy-pippy-pooh?... What are you smirking at?
HARRY: (shrug)
AUNT MARGE: Where is it you send the boy, Vernon?
UNCLE VERNON: St. Brutus's. It's a fine institution for hopeless cases.
AUNT MARGE: Do they use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?
HARRY: Oh, yeah. Yeah- I’ve, I've been beaten loads of times. Umm.
AUNT MARGE: Excellent. I won't have this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about
not beating people who deserve it. Heh- But you mustn't blame yourself about how
this one's turned out, Vernon. It’s all to do with blood. Bad blood will out.
What is it the boy's father did, Petunia?
AUNT PETUNIA: Nothing. Uh, he did... he didn't work. He was- was- unemployed.
AUNT MARGE: And a drunk, too, no doubtHARRY:
That's a lie.
AUNT MARGE: What did you say?
HARRY: My dad wasn't a drunk. AUNT PETUNIA: Oh!
AUNT MARGE: Oh, huh-ha! Don’t worry. Don’t fuss, Petunia. I have a very firm
UNCLE VERNON: I think it’s time you went to bed.
AUNT MARGE: Quiet, Vernon. You- clean it up! Actually, it’s nothing to do with
the father. It’s all to do with the mother. You see it all the time with dogs.
If there's something wrong with the bitch, then there’s something wrong with the
HARRY: Shut up! Shut up!
AUNT MARGE: Umm. Right. Let me tell you... y- ye...
UNCLE VERNON: Ohm... umm...
AUNT MARGE: Ah! Ahh! Vernon! Vernon, Vernon, do something!
UNCLE VERNON: Ow! Ripper! Owww! R- Ripper, get down boy! Get down!
AUNT MARGE: Whoo-ooo-oooh!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – outside - night
UNCLE VERNON: I've got you, Marge... I’ve got you... Ow!
UNCLE VERNON: Hold on... Hold on! Hold on! Get off of there!
AUNT MARGE: Don't you dare –
AUNT PETUNIA: Oh, Vernon! Oh, gosh!
UNCLE VERNON: Please! Marge! Please! Marge!
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Dining room - night
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room – night
Scene 3: The Knight Bus.
LOCATION: No. Four Privet Drive – Entryway – night
UNCLE VERNON: You bring her back! You bring her back now and put her right!
HARRY: No! She deserved what she got! And you keep away from me.
UNCLE VERNON: You're not allowed to do magic outside of school.
HARRY: Yeah? Try me.
UNCLE VERNON: They won't let you back now. You've nowhere to go.
HARRY: I don’t care. Anywhere's better than here.
LOCATION: Magnolia Crescent – outside - night
DOG: (barking)
AUNT MARGE: Ahh-ha-ha! Ahhh!
STAN SHUNPIKE: Welcome to the Knight Bus: Emergency transport for the stranded
witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor for this
evening. Wha' choo doin' down there?
HARRY: I fell over.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Wha' choo fall over for?
HARRY: I didn't do it on purpose.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, come on then. Let's not wait for the grass to grow. Wha'
choo lookin’ at?
HARRY: Nothing.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, come on, then- in. No, no, no, I’ll get this, you get in... ----------
LOCATION: Knight Bus – interior - night
STAN SHUNPIKE: Uh, whoa, uhh... Come on, move on, move on, move on, oh- Take 'er
away, Ern.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Yeah, take it away, Ernie! It’s goin’ to be a boompy ride!
STAN SHUNPIKE: Wot did you say your name was again?
HARRY: I didn't.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, whereabouts are you headed'?
HARRY: The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London...
STAN SHUNPIKE: Do you ‘ear that, Ern? ‘The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London.’
SHRUNKEN HEAD: The Leaky Cauldron! Heh- if you have the pea soup, make sure you
eat it before it eats you! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!
HARRY: But the Muggles? Won’t they see us?
STAN SHUNPIKE: Muggles? They don’t see nuthin’, do they?
SHRUNKEN HEAD: No, but if you stab them with a fork, they feel it! Ha ha ha!
Ernie, little old lady at twelve o'clock!
HARRY: Oomf!
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, three and a
half, two, one and three-quarters... yes!
HARRY: Who is that? That man.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Who is that? Who is- That is Sirius Black, that is. Don' tell me
you’ve ne'er been hearin' o' Sirius Black? He’s a murderer. Got 'imself locked
up in Azkaban for it.
HARRY: How did he escape?
STAN SHUNPIKE: Well, tha's the question, isn't it? He's the firs' one that done
it. He was a big supporter of... You-Know-'Oo. Reckon you heard of him?
HARRY: Yeah. Him I've heard of.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Ernie, two double-deckers at twelve o’clock. They’re getting
closer, Ernie. Ernie, they’re right on top of us! Mind your head. Ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, heh! Hey, guys? Guys? Why the long faces? Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, yeah.
Nearly there. Nearly there. Nearly there.
STAN SHUNPIKE: The Leaky Cauldron.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Next stop: Knockturn Alley.
TOM: Ahh! Mr. Potter... at last.
STAN SHUNPIKE: Take 'er away, Ern.
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Yeah, take it away, Ernie!
Scene 4: The Leaky Cauldron.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron – Pub - night
TOM: Room eleven.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron – Fudge’s room - night
HARRY: Hedwig!
TOM: Right smart bird you've got there, Mr. Potter. He arrived here just five
minutes before yourself.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Eh-hem... As the Minister for Magic, it is my duty to inform
you, Mr. Potter, that earlier this evening your uncle's sister was located a
little south of Sheffield, circling a chimney stack. The Accidental Magic
Reversal Department was dispatched immediately. She has been properly punctured
and her memory modified. She will have no recollection of the incident
whatsoever. So, that's that... and no harm done. Pea soup?
HARRY: Uh- no thank you. Um, Minister...
HARRY: I don't understand.
HARRY: I broke the law. Underage wizards aren’t allowed to use magic at home -- CORNELIUS FUDGE: Oh, come now, Harry. The Ministry doesn't send people to
Azkaban for blowing up their aunts!
TOM: Huh, huh, huh, huh!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: On the other hand, running away like that, given the state of
things, was very, very irresponsible.
HARRY: 'The state of things' sir?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: We have a killer on the loose.
HARRY: Sirius Black, you mean? But, what's he got to do with me?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Uh-hmm? Oh, nothing, of course. You're safe. And that's what
matters. And tomorrow you'll be on your way back to Hogwarts. Oh- ah, these are
your new schoolbooks. I took the liberty of having them brought here for you.
Now, Tom will show you to your room.
HARRY: Hedwig.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Oh, by the way, Harry. Whilst you're here it would be best if
you didn't, ah... wander.
Scene 5: The Monster Book of Monsters.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron – Room 11 – morning
OTHER: Right! You gonna move that bus, or what?
Scene 6: In grave danger.
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron – Hallway - morning
YOUNG WITCH: Housekeeping. I'll come back later.
RON: I'm warning you, Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from
Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy.
HERMIONE: He's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature.
RON: A cat! Is that what they told you? Looks more like a pig with hair, if you
ask me.
HERMIONE: That's rich, coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush.
It's all right, Crookshanks. You just ignore the mean little boy...
RON: Harry!
LOCATION: Leaky Cauldron – Pub - morning
HARRY: Egypt! What's it like?
RON: Brilliant. Loads of old stuff, like mummies, tombs – even Scabbers enjoyed
HERMIONE: You know, the Egyptians used to worship cats.
RON: Yeah- along with the dung beetle!
GEORGE: Not flashing that clipping about again, are you, Ron?
RON: I haven't shown anyone!
FRED: No, not a soul. Not unless you count Tom.
GEORGE: The day maid.
FRED: The night maid.
GEORGE: The cook.
FRED: That bloke that came to fix the toilet.
GEORGE: And that wizard from Belgium...
HARRY: Mrs. Weasley.
MRS. WEASLEY: Good to see you, dear!
HARRY: Good to see you, too.
MRS. WEASLEY: Now, you’ve got everything you need?
MRS. WEASLEY: Yes? All of your books?
HARRY: Yeah, it’s all upstairs. MRS. WEASLEY: And all of your clothes?
HARRY: Everything’s there.
MRS. WEASLEY: Good boy.
HARRY: Thank you.
HARRY: Mr. Weasley.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Harry, I wonder if I might have a word?
HARRY: Yeah, sure.
HERMIONE: Good morning, Mr. Weasley.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Looking forward to a new term?
HARRY: Yeah, it should be great.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Harry, there are some within the Ministry who would strongly
discourage me from divulging what I'm about to reveal to you. But, I think that
you need to know the facts. You are in danger. Grave danger.
HARRY: Has this anything to do with Sirius Black, sir?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: What do you know about Sirius Black, Harry?
HARRY: Only that he’s escaped from Azkaban.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Do you know why? Harry, thirteen years ago, when you stopped...
HARRY: Voldemort...?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Don’t say his name.
HARRY: Sorry.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: ...when you stopped You-Know-Who, Black lost everything. But, to
this day he still remains a faithful servant. And, in his mind, you are the only
thing that stands in the way of You-Know-Who returning to power. And that is why
he has escaped from Azkaban. To find you.
HARRY: And kill me.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Harry. I want you to swear to me that whatever you might hear --
you won't go looking for Black.
HARRY: Mr. Weasley, why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?
Scene 7: The Dementor.
LOCATION: Platform nine and three-quarters - daytime
MRS. WEASLEY: Quick, quick! Ron, Ron! Oh, for goodness’ sake! Don’t loose him!
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior - daytime
HARRY: I didn't mean to blow her up. I just- I lost control.
RON: Brilliant!
HERMIONE: Honestly, Ron, it's not funny. Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
HARRY: I think I was lucky not to be arrested, actually.
RON: I still think it was brilliant.
HERMIONE: Come on. Everywhere else is full.
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – compartment - daytime
RON: Who d'you think that is?
HERMIONE: Professor R. J. Lupin.
RON: You know everything. How is it she knows everything?
HERMIONE: It's on his suitcase, Ronald.
RON: Oh.
HARRY: Do you think he’s really asleep?
HERMIONE: Seems to be. Why?
HARRY: I’ve got to tell you something.
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – compartment - night RON: Let me get this straight. Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban to come
after you?
HARRY: Yeah.
HERMIONE: But they'll catch Black, won't they? I mean- everyone’s looking for
RON: Sure... except, no one's ever broken out of Azkaban before, and he's a
murderous, raving lunatic.
HARRY: Thanks, Ron.
HERMIONE: Why are we stopping? We can't be there yet...
RON: What's going on?
HARRY: Dunno... maybe we've broken down.
HERMIONE: Ouch! Ron, that was my foot!
RON: There's something moving out there. I think... someone’s coming aboard.
RON: Bloody hell! What's happening?
SCABBERS: (squeak)
HARRY: Ah...
VOICE: (scream)
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – compartment – night - later
HERMIONE: Harry? Harry, are you all right?
HARRY: Thank you.
LUPIN: Here, eat this. It’ll help. It’s alright, it’s chocolate.
HARRY: Wh- what was that thing... that came?
LUPIN: It was a dementor. One of the guards of Azkaban. It's gone now. It was
searching the train for Sirius Black. If you’ll excuse me, I need to have a
little word with the driver. Eat. You’ll feel better.
HARRY: What happened to me?
RON: Well, you sort of went rigid. We thought maybe you were having a fit or
HARRY: And... and did either of you two? You know... pass out?
RON: No. I felt weird, though. Like I'd never be cheerful again.
HARRY: But someone was screaming. A woman.
HERMIONE: No one was screaming, Harry.
Scene 8: Welcome and warning.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Exterior – stormy night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Start of Term feast - night
CHOIR: In the cauldron boil and bake. Fillet of a fenny snake. Scale of dragon,
tooth of wolf. Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf. Double, double, toil and trouble.
Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and
cauldron bubble. Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
Something wicked this way comes!
DUMBLEDORE: Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! Now, I’d like to say a
few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast. First, I'm
pleased to welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who’s kindly consented to fill the
post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck, Professor!
ALL: (applause)
HERMIONE: Of course! That's why he knew to give you the chocolate, Harry.
DRACO: Potter... Potter! Is it true you fainted?
OTHER: Ohhhh!
DRACO: I mean, you actually fainted?
RON: Shove off, Malfoy.
HARRY: How did he find out?
HERMIONE: Just forget it. DUMBLEDORE: As some of you may know, Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical
Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more
time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I'm delighted to announce that his
place will be taken by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid!
ALL: (Applause)
HERMIONE: Whoo-hoo!
DUMBLEDORE: Finally, on a more disquieting note, at the request of the Ministry
of Magic, Hogwarts will, until further notice, play host to the dementors of
Azkaban, until such a time as Sirius Black is captured. The dementors will be
stationed at every entrance to the grounds. Now, whilst I’ve been assured that
their presence will not disrupt our day-to-day activities... a word of caution.
dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they
hunt, and the one who gets in their way. Therefore, I must warn each and every
one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a
dementor to be forgiving. But, you know, happiness can be found even in the
darkest of times... if only one remembers to turn on the light.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moving staircase - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Tower entrance - night
FAT LADY: Ahhhh! Ah-ha-haa-aooo!
SEAMUS: Fortuna Major. Here, listen. She just won’t let me in.
HARRY: Fortuna Major.
FAT LADY: No, no, no- wait. Wait. Watch this! Ah-ha-ha-Aaaah- amazing! Just with
my voice!
HARRY: Fortuna Major!
FAT LADY: Yes, alright. Go in.
HARRY: Thank you.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Gryffindor common room - night
HARRY: She’s still doing that after three years. She can’t even sing!
SEAMUS: Exactly!
OTHER: Hey, man.
DEAN THOMAS: Hey, man- ugh!
OTHER: Oh, God.
OTHER: That’s awful!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - night
RON: Oh, green. That’s a monkey.
SEAMUS: (monkey sounds)
OTHER: What is that? You call that a monkey? Do not give him one again.
RON: Hey, Neville, try an elephant.
OTHER: Oh, yeah! That’s amazing.
NEVILLE: (elephant sounds)
SEAMUS: Ron, catch.
RON: I will- (lion sounds)
OTHER: I think we have a winner.
RON: Oh, don’t try one of them!
(train whistle sound)
OTHER: Look at him! Look at his face!
Scene 9: Tea leaves.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – daytime ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – North Tower - Divination Classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Welcome, my children. In this room, you shall explore the
noble art of Divination. In this room, you shall discover if you possess... ‘the
Sight’! Hello. I am Professor Trelawney. Together, we shall cast ourselves into
the future. This term we shall be focusing on Tasseomancy, which is the art of
reading tea leaves. So please, take the cup of the person sitting opposite
you... What do you see? The truth lies buried, like a sentence deep within a
book, waiting to be read. But first, you must broaden your minds. First, you
must look... beyond!
HERMIONE: What a load of rubbish.
RON: Where did you come from?
HERMIONE: Me? I've been here all this time.
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: You, boy! Is your grandmother quite well?
NEVILLE: Ah... I- I think so.
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: I wouldn't be so sure of that. Give me the cup. Oh, umm.
Pity. Broaden your minds. Hmmm. Woah! Your aura is pulsing, dear! Are you in the
beyond? I think you are!
RON: Sure.
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Look at the cup. Tell me what you see.
RON: Oh, yeah, um, well, Harry’s got a sort of a wonky cross- that’s trials and
suffering- and, uh, that there could be the sun- and that’s happiness- so, ah,
you’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it.
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Give me the cup. Oh- aah! Oh, dear boy. My have
the Grim!
SEAMUS: The Grin? What's the Grin?
BEM: Not the grin, you idiot. The Grim. ‘Taking the form of a giant spectral
dog, it’s among the darkest omens in our world. It’s an omen of death.’
Scene 10: Buckbeak.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
RON: You don’t think that Grim thing’s got anything to do with Sirius Black, do
HERMIONE: Oh, honestly, Ron. If you ask me, Divination's a very wooly
discipline. Now, Ancient Runes. That's a fascinating subject.
RON: Ancient Runes? Exactly how many classes are you taking this term?
HERMIONE: A fair few.
RON: Hang on. That’s not possible. Ancient Runes is in the same time as
Divination. You'd have to be in two classes at once!
HERMIONE: Don't be silly, Ronald. How could anyone be in two classes at once?
‘Broaden your minds... use your inner eye to see the future...’
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – exterior - daytime
HAGRID: That’s it. C'mon now. Come closer! Less talkin’, if you don’ mind. I got
a real treat for yeh today. A great lesson. So follow me.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
HAGRID: Right, you lot. Less chatterin’. Form a group over there. And open yer
books to page forty-nine.
DRACO: And exactly how do we do that?
HAGRID: Well, just stroke the spine, o’ course. Goodness me!
OTHER: Don’t be such a wimp, Longbottom.
NEVILLE: I’m okay. Okay. Aaah! HERMIONE: I think they’re funny.
DRACO: Oh, yeah. Terribly funny. Really witty. God, this place has gone to the
dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledore's got this oaf teaching
CRABBE: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
HARRY: Shut up, Malfoy!
DRACO: Dementor! Dementor!
OTHERS: Ah, ha ha ha ha! Oooooh!
HERMIONE: Just ignore him.
RON: You’re supposed to stroke it.
HAGRID: Ahem. Ta-ta-ta-dah! Isn’t he beautiful? Say hello to Buckbeak.
RON: Hagrid. Exactly what is that?
HAGRID: That, Ron, is a hippogriff. Firs' thing yeh wanna know abou’ hippogriffs
is that they're very proud creatures. Very easily offended. You do not want to
insult a hippogriff. It may just be the las' thing yeh ever do. Now, who’d like
ter come an' say hello?
HAGRID: Well done, Harry! Well done. Come on, now. Now, you have to let 'im make
the firs' move. It's only polite. So, step up, give 'im a nice bow. Then you
wait and see if he bows back. And if he does, you can go and touch him. If notwell,
we’ll get to that later. Just make your bow. Nice and low.
HAGRID: Back off, Harry! Back off! Keep still. Keep still. Oh, ho! Well done,
Harry! Well done! Here, ya big brute, ya... Right. I think you can go and pat
‘im now. Go on. Don’t be shy.
HAGRID: Nice and slow, now. Nice and slow. Slow. Not so fast, Harry. Slow down,
Harry. That’s it... nice and slow. Now let ‘im come to you. That’s it. Slowly,
now, slowly, slowly, that’s it... Yes! Well done! Well done, Harry! Well done!
OTHER: Does he get to fly?
HAGRID: I think he may let you ride 'im now.
HARRY: What?
HAGRID: Come on.
HARRY: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... hey! Hagrid...
HAGRID: We’ll put you over here, just behind the wing joint. Don' pull out any
of ‘is feathers, because he won' thank you for that. Heh, heh...
HARRY: Whoah!!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake - daytime
HARRY: Ha! Whoo-hoo! Whoooo-hooo!! Whoo-hoo! Oh!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
HAGRID: (whistle)
OTHER: Well done, Harry!
HAGRID: Well done, Harry! And well done, Buckbeak!
OTHER: Yeah, that was wicked, Harry!
DRACO: Oh, please!
HAGRID: Well done, well done. How'm I doin' me firs' day?
HARRY: Brilliant... Professor.
DRACO: Yes, you're not dangerous at all, are you, you great ugly brute --
HAGRID: Malfoy, Malfoy! No! Buckbeak! Whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa! Buckbeak!
Away, you silly creature!
DRACO: Oh, it's killed me! It's killed me!
HAGRID: Calm down! It- it’s jus' a scratch... HERMIONE: Hagrid! He's got to be taken to the hospital.
HAGRID: I'm the teacher. I’ll do it.
DRACO: Oh! Oh! Ohhh, you’re going to regret this...
HAGRID: Class dismissed!
DRACO: and your bloody chicken!
Scene 11: Boggart in the wardrobe.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway – night
GHOST: Ah-ha-ha!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - night
PANSY: Does it hurt terribly, Draco?
DRACO: It comes and it goes. Still... I consider myself lucky. According to
Madam Pomfrey, another minute or two... and I could've, ah, lost my arm.
Couldn’t possibly do any homework for weeks...
RON: Listen to the idiot. He's really laying it on thick, isn't he?
DRACO: Please- don’t touch it.
HARRY: Yeah, but at least Hagrid didn't get fired.
HERMIONE: Yeah, but I hear Draco's father's furious. We haven’t heard the end of
SEAMUS: He's been sighted! He's been sighted!
SEAMUS: Sirius Black!
HERMIONE: Dufftown? That's not far from here...
NEVILLE: You don't think he'd come to Hogwarts... do you?
OTHER: With the dementors at every entrance?
SEAMUS: Dementors? He's already slipped by them once, hasn't he? Who's to say he
can't do it again?
BEM: That's right. Black could be anywhere. It's like trying to catch smoke.
Like trying to catch smoke through your bare hands.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA Classroom - daytime
LUPIN: Intriguing, isn’t it? Would anyone like to venture a guess... as to what
is inside?
DEAN THOMSAS: That's a Boggart, that is.
LUPIN: Very good, Mr. Thomas. Now, can anybody tell me what a Boggart looks
HERMIONE: No one knows.
RON: When'd she get here?
HERMIONE: Boggarts are shape-shifters. They take the shape of whatever a
particular person fears the most. That's what makes them so --
LUPIN: -so terrifying, yes, yes, yes. Luckily, a very simple charm exists to
repel a Boggart. Let's practice it now. Ah, without wands, please... after me...
STUDENTS: Riddikulus!
LUPIN: Very good. A little louder, and very clear. Listen: Riddikulus!
STUDENTS: Riddikulus!
DRACO: This class is ridiculous.
LUPIN: Very good- well, so much for the easy part. You see, the incantation
alone is not enough. What really finishes a Boggart is... laughter. You need to
force it to assume a shape you find truly amusing. Let me explain. Ah- Neville,
would you join me, please? Come on. Don’t be shy, come on. Come on.
LUPIN: Hello. Neville, what frightens you most of all?
NEVILLE: Profter... S- Snafpt... LUPIN: SorryNEVILLE:
Professor Snape.
LUPIN: Professor Snape. Yes, frightens us all. And I believe you live with your
NEVILLE: Yes, but I don't want that Boggart to turn into her, either.
LUPIN: No...It won't. I want you to picture her clothes, only her clothes, very
clearly in your mind.
NEVILLE: She carries a red handbag...
LUPIN: We don't need to hear it. As long as you see it, we’ll see it. Now, when
I open that wardrobe, here's what I want you to do... Excuse me...
(whispers)Imagine Professor Snape in your grandmother’s clothes.
LUPIN: Can you do that? Yes. Wand at the ready. One. Two. Three. Think, Neville.
NEVILLE: Riddikulus!
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
LUPIN: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Wonderful, Neville, wonderful! Incredible! Okay! To
the back, Neville. Everyone form a line. Form a line. I want everyone to picture
the thing they fear the very most, and turn it into something funny. Next! Ron!
Concentrate. Face your fear. Be brave!
RON: Ooh..
LUPIN: Wand at the ready, Ron. Wand at the ready!
RON: Riddikulus!
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
LUPIN: Yes! You see? Very good, very good! Marvelous! Absolutely very, very
enjoyable! Parvati, next! Step up. Show us what you see. Keep your nerve.
PARVATI: Riddikulus!
OTHERS: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
LUPIN: And next! Step up, step up! Wonderful, wonderful. Heeere! Riddikulus!
Right, well, sorry about that. Ah, that’s enough for today. If you’d all like to
collect your books from the back of the class, that’s the end of the lesson.
Thank you... Sorry, sorry, you’ve already had too much of a good thing.
Scene 12: Talent for trouble.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside - daytime
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, remember! These visits to Hogsmeade Village are a
privilege. Should your behavior reflect poorly on the school in any way, that
privilege shall not be extended again. No permission form signed, no visiting
the Village. That's the rule, Potter.
FILCH: Those with permission follow me. Those without, stay put.
HARRY: But Professor, I thought if you signed it, then I could goPROFESSOR
MCGONAGALL: I can’t. Only a parent or guardian can sign. Since I am
neither, it would be inappropriate. I'm sorry, Potter. That's my final word.
HARRY: Forget about it guys. See you later.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Wooden bridge - daytime
HARRY: Professor, can I ask you something?
LUPIN: You want to know why I stopped you facing that Boggart, yes? I would’ve
thought it'd be obvious. I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Voldemort.
HARRY: I did think of Voldemort... at first. But then, I remembered that night
on the train... and the dementor...
LUPIN: Well, I'm very impressed. That suggests that what you fear the most is
fear itself. This is very wise.
HARRY: Before I fainted... I heard something. A woman. Screaming.
LUPIN: Well, dementors force us to relive our very worst memories. Our pain
becomes their power. HARRY: I think it was my mother. The night she was murdered.
LUPIN: You know, the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you
immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother Lily's. Yes.
Oh, yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else
was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind
woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even -- and perhaps, most
especially... when that person couldn't see it in themselves... And your father,
James, on the other hand, he ah, heh- He had a certain, shall we say, talent for
trouble. A talent, rumor has it, he passed on to you. You’re more like them than
you know, Harry. In time you’ll come to see just how much.
Scene 13: Flight of the Fat Lady.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moving staircase - night
RON: Honeydukes Sweetshop is brilliant, but nothing beats Zonko’s Joke Shop. We
never did get to go to the Shrieking Shack, though. You heard that it’s the
-most haunted building in Briton. Yeah, I know. What’s going on?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Tower entrance - night
RON: Probably Neville’s forgotten the password again.
Oh, you’re there!
PERCY: Let me through, please. Excuse me, I'm Head Boy...
Get back! All of you! No one is to enter this dormitory until it has
been fully searched!
GINNY: The Fat Lady... she's gone.
RON: Serves her right. She was a terrible singer.
HERMIONE: It’s not funny, Ron.
PERCY: Keep calm, everyone. Break into fours. Back to your common room. Be
Make way. Make way.
PERCY: The Headmaster’s here.
FILCH: Come on, move!
PERCY: You heard! Move!
DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Filch. Round up the ghosts. Tell them to search every painting
in the castle to find the Fat Lady.
FILCH: There's no need for ghosts, Professor... The Fat Lady’s there.
PERCY: Hey- mind where you’re going! Slow down! You listen! I’m Head Boy!
OTHER: Come back here!
DUMBLEDORE: Keep moving. Dear lady, who did this to you?
FAT LADY: Eyes like the devil, he's got. And a soul as dark as his name. It’s
him, Headmaster. The one they all talk about. He's here, somewhere in the
castle! Sirius Black! Aaah-hoo-hoo!
DUMBLEDORE: Secure the castle, Mr. Filch. The rest of you... to the Great Hall.
Scene 14: Substitute teacher.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - night
FILCH: I’ve searched the Astronomy Tower and the Owlery, sir, but there’s
nothing there.
DUMBLEDORE: Thank you.
PROFESSOR BINNS: The third floor’s clear, to, sir. DUMBLEDORE: Very good.
SNAPE: I've done the dungeons, Headmaster. No sign of Black. Nor anywhere else
in the castle.
DUMBLEDORE: Thank you. I didn't really expect him to linger.
SNAPE: Remarkable feat, don't you think? To enter Hogwarts castle on one's own,
completely undetected...
DUMBLEDORE: Quite remarkable, yes.
SNAPE: Any theories about how he might have managed it?
DUMBLEDORE: Many, each as unlikely as the next.
SNAPE: You may recall that prior to the start of term, I did express concerns
about your appointment of ProfessorDUMBLEDORE:
Not a single professor inside this castle would help Sirius Black
enter it. No, I’m quite convinced the castle is safe. And I'm more than willing
to send the students back to their Houses.
SNAPE: What about Potter? Should he be warned?
DUMBLEDORE: Perhaps... But for now, let him sleep... For in dreams we enter a
world that’s entirely our own. Let them swim in the deepest ocean, or glide over
the highest cloud.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA classroom - daytime
SNAPE: Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four.
HARRY: Excuse me, sir... where's Professor Lupin?
SNAPE: That's not really your concern, is it, Potter? Suffice it to say, your
Professor finds himself incapable of teaching... at the present time. Turn to
page three hundred and ninety-four!
RON: ‘Werewolves?’
HERMIONE: But, sir, we've just begun learning about Red Caps and Hinkypunks.
We're not meant to start nocturnal beasts for weeksSNAPE:
RON: When did she come in? Did you see her come in?
SNAPE: Now. Which of you can tell me the difference between an Animagus and a
SNAPE: No one? How disappointing.
HERMIONE: Please, sir. An Animagus is a wizard who elects to turn into an
animal. A werewolf has no choice. With each full moon when he transforms he no
longer remembers who he is. He’d kill his best friend if he crossed his path.
Furthermore, the werewolf only responds only to the call of its own kind –
DRACO: Owooo!
SNAPE: Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. That is the second time you have spoken out of
turn, Miss Granger. Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take
pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?
RON: He's got a point, you know.
SNAPE: Five points from Gryffindor! As an antidote to your ignorance, and on my
desk by Monday morning, two rolls of parchment on the werewolf, with particular
emphasis on recognizing it.
HARRY: But, sir, it’s Quidditch tomorrow.
SNAPE: Then I suggest you take extra care, Mr. Potter. Loss of limb will not
excuse you. Page three hundred and ninety-four.
Scene 15: Grim defeat.
SNAPE: The term ‘werewolf’ is a contraction of the Anglo-Saxon word ‘wer’, which
means ‘man’, and ‘wolf’. ‘Werewolf’, ‘man-wolf.’ There are several ways to
become a werewolf. They include being given the power of shape-shifting, being
bitten by a werewolf, or... ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – stormy day
FANS: Go, Go, Gryffindor! Go, Go Gryffindor!
HERMIONE: Go, Harry! Whoo-hoo! Go, Harry!
OTHERS: Eeee! Ahhh!
OTHERS: Harry!
DUMBLEDORE: Aresto momentum!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing - daytime
RON: He looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?
FRED: Peaky? What d'you expect? He fell over a hundred feet.
GEORGE: Yeah, c'mon, Ron. Let’s walk you off the Astronomy Tower
FRED: -and see what you look like.
HARRY: Probably a right sight better than he normally does.
HERMIONE: How're you feeling?
HARRY: Oh, brilliant.
FRED: You gave us a right good scare there, mate.
HARRY: What happened?
RON: Well, you fell off your broom.
HARRY: Really? I meant the match. Who won?
HERMIONE: Um- no one blames you, Harry. The dementors aren't supposed to come
inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you, he sent
them straight off.
RON: There's uh- something else you should know, too, Harry, um. When you fell,
your broom– it- it sort of... blew into the Whomping Willow. And, well...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake - daytime
LUPIN: I'm sorry to hear about your broomstick.
Scene 16: The Marauder’s Map.
LUPIN: Is there no chance of fixing it?
HARRY: No. Professor, why do the dementors affect me so? I mean, more than
everyone else...
LUPIN: Listen, the dementors are amongst the foulest creatures to walk this
earth. They feed on every good feeling, every happy memory, until a person is
left with absolutely nothing but his worst experiences. You are not weak, Harry.
The dementors affect you, most of all, because there are true horrors in your
past. Horrors your classmates can scarcely imagine. You have nothing to be
ashamed of.
HARRY: I'm scared, Professor.
LUPIN: Well, I'd consider you a fool if you weren't.
HARRY: I need to know how to fight them. You could teach me. You made that
dementor on the train go away...
LUPIN: There was only one that night...
HARRY: But you made it go away.
LUPIN: I don't pretend to be an expert, Harry. But, as the dementors seem to
have developed a particular interest in you, huh, perhaps I should teach you.
But after the holidays. For now, I need to rest.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – winter snow - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside – winter snow - daytime
FILCH: Last call for Hogsmeade! Come on, now! All those for Hogsmeade! Come on,
now, get out of here! Come on!
HARRY: Guys, let me go!
FRED: Clever, Harry.
GEORGE: But not clever enough. FRED: Besides, we've got a better way.
HARRY: Guys, come on! I’m trying to get to Hogsmeade.
FRED, GEORGE: We know.
FRED: Don’t worry.
GEORGE: We’ll get you there.
FRED: We’ll show you a quicker way.
GEORGE: If you pipe down.
FRED: Ah, bless him.
HARRY: Let me go! Come on, guys. Don’tGEORGE:
Now, Harry.
FRED/ GEORGE: Come and join the big boys.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entrance Hall - daytime
HARRY: What are you doing?!
HARRY: What's this rubbish?
FRED: ‘What’s this rubbish?’ he says. That there is the secret to our success.
GEORGE: It's a wrench giving it to you, believe me.
FRED: But we've decided your need's are greater than ours. George, if you
GEORGE: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
HARRY: 'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present The
Marauder's Map'...?
GEORGE: We owe them so much.
HARRY: Hang on. This is Hogwarts! And that... no. Is that really...?
FRED: Dumbledore.
GEORGE: In his study.
FRED: Pacing.
GEORGE: Does that a lot.
HARRY: So you mean, this map shows...
FRED: Everyone.
HARRY: Everyone?
GEORGE: Everyone.
FRED: Where they are.
GEORGE: What they're doing.
FRED: Every minute.
GEORGE: Of every day.
HARRY: Brilliant! Where'd you get it?
FRED: Nicked it from Filch's office, of course, first year.
GEORGE: Now listen. There are seven secret passageways out of the castle. We'd
FRED/GEORGE: This one.
GEORGE: The One-Eyed Witch passageway.
GEORGE: It’ll lead you straight to Honeydukes cellar.
FRED: But you’d best hurry. Filch is heading this way.
GEORGE: Oh, and, Harry? Don’t forget, when you're done, just give it a tap and
FRED/GEORGE: 'Mischief managed.' Otherwise, anyone can read it.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Honeydukes Sweetshop – cellar – daytime - dark
Scene 17: Who’s there?
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Honeydukes Sweetshop - daytime
WOMAN: Now, don’t forget these!
OTHER: Now, how much do you want?
SEAMUS: Delicious! ----------
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – main street – daytime – snowing
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Shrieking Shack – exterior - snowing
HERMIONE: It's meant to be the most haunted building in Britain. Did I mention
RON: Twice.
HERMIONE: Oh. Do you want to move a bit closer?
RON: Huh?
HERMIONE: To the Shrieking Shack?
RON: Oh, oh, actually, I- I’m, I’m fine here.
DRACO: Well, well. Look who's here. You two shopping for your new dream home? A
bit grand for you, isn’t it, Weasel-Bee? Don't your family sleep in, ah- one
RON: Shut your mouth, Malfoy.
DRACO: Ooh- not very friendly. Boys, I think it’s time we teach Weasel-Bee how
to respect his superiors.
HERMIONE: Oh, ha, ha. I hope you don't mean yourself.
DRACO: How dare you talk to me, you filthy, little mudblood! -- Who is there?!
Don't just stand there! Do something!
CRABBE: Ahh! Ahhhh!
RON: What’s up, Malfoy? Lost your skis?
DRACO: Get out of the way! Move!
OTHER: Malfoy! Wait! Wait!
RON: Bloody hell, Harry! That was not funny!
HARRY AND HERMIONE: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Scene 18: I hope he finds me.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – main Street – daytime - snowing
RON: Those weasels! Never told me about any Marauder's Map!
HERMIONE: But Harry isn't going to keep it. He's going to turn it over to
Professor MCGONAGALL, aren't you?
RON: Oh, sure. Along with his invisibility cloak?
HERMIONE: Oh, look who it is. Madam Rosmerta. Ron fancies her.
RON: It's not true!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Professor McGonagall!
HAGRID: Allow me, Minister.
HAGRID: Sorry abou’ that!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Rosmerta, m'dear! I hope business is good?
MADAM ROSMERTA: It'd be a lot better if the Ministry wasn't sending dementors
into my pub every other night!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: We..have...we have a killer on the loose.
MADAM ROSMERTA: Oh, Sirius Black? In Hogsmeade! And what would bring him here?
MADAM ROSMERTA: Harry Potter?!
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Three Broomsticks Pub – interior - daytime
SHRUNKEN HEAD #1: I say, no underage wizards allowed in today!
SHRUNKEN HEAD #2: Shut the damn door! HERMIONE: So rude!
RON: Thick heads.
SHRUNKEN HEAD #2: Thick heads?!
SRUNKEN HEAD #1: How dare they! Who are they calling thick heads?
SHRUNKEN HEAD #2: Young whippersnappers!
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Three Broomsticks Pub – upstairs Card Room - daytime
MADAM ROSEMERTA: Nobody’s going to come to a pub where they’ll get scared out of
their wits.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, Professor Dumbledore doesn’t want dementors around
the place, I can assure you.
MADAM ROSMERTA: Now, tell me what this is all about.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, now years ago, when Harry Potter's parents realized
they were marked for death, do you remember? They went into hiding. Few knew
where they were. One who did was Sirius Black. And he told You-Know-Who.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Not only did Black lead You-Know-Who to the Potters that night,
but he also killed one of their friends, Peter Pettigrew!
MADAM ROSMERTA: Peter Pettigrew?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Yes, little lump of a boy? Always trailing after Sirius
Black and...
MADAM ROSMERTA: I remember him. Never let James and Sirius out of his sight. But
what happened?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, Peter Pettigrew tried to warn the Potters, and might
have managed to, had he not run into an old friend, Sirius Black.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Black was vicious. He didn't kill Pettigrew. He destroyed him!
A finger. That's all that was left. A finger– nothing else.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Yes. Sirius Black may not have put his hands to the
Potters, but he's the reason they're dead.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: And now he wants to finish what he started.
MADAM ROSMERTA: I don’t believe it...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Huh- that's not the worst of it.
MADAM ROSMERTA: What could be worse?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This: Sirius Black was, and remains to this day... Harry
Potter's godfather!
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – main street – daytime - snowing
HERMIONE: Ron, look! Sorry, sorry! Excuse me... excuse me, sorry...
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – woods – daytime - snowing
HERMIONE: Harry, what happened?
HARRY: He was their friend... and he betrayed them. He was their friend!
I hope he finds me. Because when he does, I'm going to be ready! When he does,
I'm gonna kill him!
Scene 19: The Patronus.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Astronomy Classroom - daytime
LUPIN: Harry. There you are. You came.
LUPIN: Now, are you sure about this, Harry? You know this is very advanced
magic, well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level.
HARRY: I’m sure.
LUPIN: Well, everything is prepared. Now, the spell I'm going to try to teach
you is called the Patronus Charm. Did you ever hear of it? No? Well... a
Patronus is a kind of positive force, and for the wizard who can conjure one, it works something like a shield, with the dementor feeding on it rather than him.
But in order for it to work, you need think of a memory. And not just any
memory, a very happy memory. A very powerful memory. Can you do this? Yes. Very
well. Close your eyes... concentrate... explore your past... Do you have a
memory? Allow it to fill you up... Lose yourself within it... Then speak the
incantation: Expecto Patronum.
HARRY: Expecto Patronum...
LUPIN: Very good. Shall we? Wand at the ready.
HARRY: Expecto Patronum! Expecto... Expecta... Expect...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Astronomy Classroom – daytime - later
LUPIN: Here we go. Come on. Sit up. Deep breaths. It’s alright. I didn’t expect
you to do it the first time. Huh- that would have been remarkable! Here, eat
this. You’ll feel better.
HARRY: That's one nasty dementor.
LUPIN: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That was a Boggart, Harry. A Boggart. The real
thing would be worse. Much, much worse. As a matter of interest, what were you
thinking? Which memory did you choose?
HARRY: The first time I rode a broom.
LUPIN: Well, that's not good enough. Not nearly good enough.
HARRY: There's another. It's not happy, exactly. Well, it is. It's the happiest
I've ever felt. Uh, but it's complicated.
LUPIN: Is it strong? Then let's give it a try. Do you feel ready?
HARRY: Just do it.
HARRY: Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!
LUPIN: Ha, ha, ha, ah, ha! Yes! Well done, Harry. Well done!
HARRY: I think I've had enough. For today.
LUPIN: Yes, sit down. Here. Eat this, it helps. It really helps. And just so you
know, Harry: I think you would have given your father a run for his money. And
that... is saying something.
HARRY: I was thinking of him. And Mum. Seeing their faces. They were talking to
me. Just talking. That’s the memory I chose. I don't even know if it's real...
But it's the best I have.
Scene 20: Seeing the impossible.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entrance – exterior - daytime
HERMIONE: Beautiful day.
RON: Gorgeous. Unless, of course, you’ve been ripped to pieces!
HARRY: Ripped to pieces? What are you talking about?
HERMIONE: Ronald has lost his rat.
RON: I haven’t lost anything! Your cat killed him!
HERMIONE: Rubbish!
RON: Harry, you’ve seen the way that bloodthirsty beast of hers is always
lurkin’ about. And Scabbers is gone!
HERMIONE: Well, maybe you should learn to take better care of your pets!
RON: Your cat killed him!
HERMIONE: Did not!
RON: Did.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – shoreline - daytime
HERMIONE: How'd it go, Hagrid? At the hearing?
HAGRID: Well, first off, the committee members took turns talkin’ abou’ why we
were there. And then I got up an' did my piece – said how Buckbeak was a good
Hippogriff, always cleaned his feathers. And then Lucius Malfoy got up an', well you can imagine, he said “Buckbeak was a deadly and dangerous creature who would
kill ya as soon as look at ya.”
HERMIONE: And then?
HAGRID: An’ then he asked for the worst, he did, ol’ Lucius.
RON: They’re not sacking you!
HAGRID: No, I’m not sacked. Buckbeak's been sentenced ter death!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Tower – boys’ dormitory - night
RON: Oh, ah- Spiders! T-there’s spiders. Spiders. They want me to tap dance. I
don’ wanna tap dance.
HARRY: You tell those spiders, Ron.
RON: Oh, yeah. T- t- tell them. I’ll tell ‘em... I’ll tell ‘em...
MADAM ROSEMERTA: (echo) Peter Pettigrew?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: (echo) Little lump of a boy. Always trailing after Sirius
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (echo) Black was vicious. He didn't kill Pettigrew. He
destroyed him!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor – night - dark
PORTRAIT #1: Put that light out!
HARRY: Sorry! Ah!
PORTRAIT #2: Watch it there, boy!
PORTRAIT #3: We’re trying to sleep here!
PORTRAIT #2: Yes, we are!
HARRY: Mischief managed! Nox!
SNAPE: Potter. What're you doing wandering the corridors at night?
HARRY: I was sleepwalking...
SNAPE: How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter. He, too, was
exceedingly arrogant. Strutting about the castleHARRY:
My dad didn’t strut. And nor do I. Now, if you don't mind, I would
appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
SNAPE: Turn out your pockets. Turn out your pockets!
SNAPE: What’s this.
HARRY: Spare bit of parchment...
SNAPE: Really... Open it. Reveal your secrets! Read it.
HARRY: 'Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs offer their compliments to
Professor Snape and...'
SNAPE: Go on.
HARRY: '... and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other
people's business.'
SNAPE: Why you insolent littleLUPIN:
SNAPE: Well, well. Lupin. Out for a little walk in the moonlight, are we?
LUPIN: Harry? Are you all right?
SNAPE: That remains to be seen. I have just now confiscated a rather curious
artifact from Mr. Potter. Take a look, Lupin. This is supposed to be your area
of expertise. Clearly, it's full of Dark Magic.
LUPIN: I seriously doubt it, Severus. It looks to me as if it is merely a
parchment designed to insult anyone who tries to read it. I suspect it's a Zonko
product. Nevertheless, I shall pursue any hidden qualities it may possess. It
is, after all, as you say, my area of expertise. Harry, would you come with me,
please? Professor, good night.
PORTRAIT #1: Are you deaf? Put that light out!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Lupin’s office – night - dark
LUPIN: Come in. Now, I haven’t the faintest idea, Harry, how this map came to be
in your possession, but quite frankly, I am astounded that you didn't hand it in. Did it never occur to you that this- in the hands of Sirius Black- is a map
to you? No.
HARRY: No, sir.
LUPIN: You know, your father never set much store by the rules either. But he
and your mother gave their lives to save yours. And gambling their sacrifice by
wandering around the castle unprotected, with a killer on the loose, seems to me
to be a pretty poor way to repay them! Now, I will not cover up for you again,
Harry. Do you hear me?
HARRY: Yes, sir.
LUPIN: I want you to return to your dormitory and stay there. And don’t take any
detours. If you do, I shall know.
HARRY: Professor. Just so you know, I don't think the map always works. Earlier
on, it showed someone in the castle. Someone I know to be dead.
LUPIN: Oh, really? Who might that be?
HARRY: Peter Pettigrew.
LUPIN: That’s not possible.
HARRY: It’s just what I saw... Good night, Professor.
Scene 21: Professor Trelawney’s prediction.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Divination classroom - daytime
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Broaden your minds... You must look beyond... The art of
crystal-gazing is in the clearing of the Inner Eye. Only then, can you see. Try
again. Now, what do we have here...?
RON: (snoring)...Huh?
HERMIONE: Oh, ah- do you mind me trying?
HERMIONE: The Grim. Possibly.
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: My dear, from the first moment you stepped foot in my
class, I sensed that you did not possess the proper spirit for the noble art of
Divination. No, you see, there. Ah, you may be young in years, but the heart
that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid's, your soul as dry
as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave.
OTHER: What’s happened? I can’t believe it!
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Have I said something?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Divination Tower – Spiral staircase
RON: She's gone mental, Hermione has. I mean, not that she wasn't always mental,
but now it's out in the open for everyone to see...
HARRY: Hang on- we’d better take this back.
RON: I’m not goin’ back.
HARRY: Fine. See you later.
RON: See you.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Divination classroom - daytime
CRYSTAL BALL: Harry Potter... Harry Potter...
HARRY: Professor TrelawneyPROFESSOR
TRELAWNEY: He will return tonight....
HARRY: Sorry?
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY (channeling): Tonight, he who betrayed his friends, whose
heart rots with murder, shall break free. Innocent blood shall be spilt, and
servant and Master shall be reunited once more... ah, ach...
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Oh- I’m so sorry, dear boy. Did you say something?
HARRY: No. Nothing.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Divination Tower – Spiral staircase - daytime ----------
Scene 22: Witness to an execution.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entrance - exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – wooden bridge - daytime
HERMIONE: I can't believe they're going to kill Buckbeak! It's just too
HARRY: It just got worse.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
DRACO: Did I tell you? Father said I can keep the hippogriff’s head. I think
I’ll donate it to the Gryffindor’s common room.
CRABBE: Wicked.
DRACO: Oh, this is going to be rich.
CRABBE: Look who’s here.
DRACO: Ah. Come to see the show?
HERMIONE: You! You... foul... loathsome... evil... little cockroach!
RON: Hermione! No! He's not worth it.
DRACO: He, he, heh... oh!
CRABBE: Malfoy, you okay? Let’s go.
GOYLE: Quick!
DRACO: Not a word to anyone, understood?
HERMIONE: That felt good.
RON: Not good, brilliant!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – exterior - daytime
HAGRID: Ow, look at 'im. Loves the smell o' the trees when the wind blows
through ‘em...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – window - daytime
HARRY: Why don’t we just set him free?
HAGRID: Ah- they'd know it was me. And then Dumbledore’d get into trouble. He’s
commin’ down, yeh know, Dumbledore. Says he wants ter be with me when they...
when it happens. Great man, Dumbledore. Great man.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – interior - daytime
HERMIONE: We'll stay with you too, Hagrid.
HAGRID: You’ll do no such thing! Ya think I wan' yeh seein' sumthing like that?
No. Yeh just drink yer tea an' be off. Oh, but before yeh do- Ron...
RON: Scabbers! You're alive!
HAGRID: Ye’ll want to keep a closer eye on yer pets, Ron.
HERMIONE: I think that means you owe someone an apology.
RON: Right. Next time I see Crookshanks, I'll let him know.
HERMIONE: I meant me!
HAGRID: Blimey! Wha’ was that?
HARRY: Ow! Ah...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – window - daytime
HARRY: Hagrid...
HAGRID: Oh, crikey!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – outside - daytime
DUMBLEDORE: Now, Minister, over this way...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – window - daytime
HAGRID: It’s late. It’s nearly dark. ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – interior - daytime
HAGRID: Yeh shouldn’t be here. Someone sees yeh outside the castle this time o’
night, you'll be in trouble! Big trouble! Particularly you, Harry – Be with you
in a moment! Quick! Quick!
HARRY: Hagrid. It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay.
HAGRID: Go on, go on!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – exterior - daytime
DUMBLEDORE: That’s the ling you see over there...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: On the slope...
DUMBLEDORE: ...on the slope- Ah, Hagrid,
HAGRID: Professor Dumbledore.
DUMBLEDORE: Good evening, Hagrid.
HAGRID: Just make your way through, ah. Have some tea, if you like.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: No, Hagrid, no. Gentlemen...
DUMBLEDORE: I’d like a cup of tea.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Well, I think we should get down to our business, shall we?
Very well. It is the decision of the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous
Creatures that the hippogriff known as Buckbeak, hereinafter called ‘the
condemned’, shall be executed this day at sundown.
HAGRID: Dear, dear...
DUMBLEDORE: Now, now, Hagrid, now come on. All right. It’ll be all right.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: The executioner shall be dispatched...
HARRY: What?
HERMIONE: I just thought I saw... Never mind.
RON: Let’s go!
HAGRID: Buckbeak didn’t mean no harm!
Scene 23: The Whomping Willow.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
RON: Oh! Oh, no... Hah- he bit me! Scabbers!
HERMIONE: Ron. Ron! No!
RON: Scabbers, come back!
HARRY: Wait!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - dusk
RON: Scabbers, you bit me!
HERMIONE: Harry. You do realize what tree this is...
RON: Now behave yourself.
HARRY: That's not good. Ron, run!
RON: Harry! Hermione, Run! It’s the Grim!
RON: Aaaahhh! Harry!
HARRY: Ron! Ron, wait!
RON: Haaarry! Help!
HARRY: Ron! Ron. Ron!
RON: Harry!
RON: Aaah!
HARRY: Come on! Move!
HERMIONE: Duck! Aaaaeee! Aeeeeee! Oh! Oh! Harry! Oh!
HARRY: Aaah! Umph!
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow – underground - dark
HERMIONE: Oh, I’m sorry!
HARRY: Don’t worry.
HERMIONE: Where do you suppose this goes?
HARRY: I have a hunch. I just hope I'm wrong...
Scene 24: Sirius Black.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – Shrieking Shack – first floor - dark
HERMIONE: We're in the Shrieking Shack, aren't we?
HARRY: Come on.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – Shrieking Shack – upstairs - dark
HERMIONE: Ron! You okay?
HARRY: The dog- where's is it?
RON: Harry! It's a trap! He's the dog. He's an Animagus...
HERMIONE: If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too!
SIRIUS: No. Only one will die tonight.
HARRY: Then it'll be you!
SIRIUS: Ha, Ha! Ha, ha, ha! Are you going to kill me, Harry?
LUPIN: Expelliarmus!
HARRY, HERMIONE, RON: Professor Lupin!
LUPIN: Well, well, Sirius, looking a bit ragged, aren't we? Finally the flesh
reflects the madness within.
SIRIUS: Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, Remus?
SIRIUS: I found him!
LUPIN: I know.
SIRIUS: It’s him!
LUPIN: I understand.
SIRIUS: Let’s kill him!
HERMIONE: No! I trusted you! And all this time you've been his friend! He's a
werewolf! That's why he's been missing classes!
LUPIN: How long have you known?
HERMIONE: Since Professor Snape set the essay.
LUPIN: Well, well, well, Hermione, you really are the brightest witch of your
age I've ever met.
SIRIUS: Enough talk, Remus! Come on, let’s kill him!
LUPIN: Wait--
SIRIUS: I did my waiting! Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!
LUPIN: Very well. Kill him! But wait one more minute. Harry has the right to
know why.
HARRY: I know why. You betrayed my parents! You’re the reason they’re dead.
LUPIN: No, Harry, it wasn’t him. Somebody did betray your parents, but it was
somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead.
HARRY: Who was it then?
SIRIUS: Peter Pettigrew! And he’s in this room! Right now! Come out, come out,
Peter. Come out, come out and play...
SNAPE: Expelliarmus! Ah, vengeance is sweet. How I hoped I'd be the one to catch
I told Dumbledore you were helping your old friend into the castle. And
now, here's the proof.
SIRIUS: Brilliant, Snape! Once again you’ve put your keen and penetrating mind
to the task and, as usual, come to the wrong conclusion. Now, if you’ll excuse
us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to.
SNAPE: Give me a reason. I beg you! LUPIN: Severus, don't be a fool!
SIRIUS: He can't help it. It's habit by now.
LUPIN: Sirius, be quiet!
SIRIUS: Be quiet, yourself, Remus!
SNAPE: Listen to you two. Quarreling like an old married couple.
SIRIUS: Why don’t you just run along and play with your chemistry set?
SNAPE: I could do it, you know. But why deny the dementors? They’re so longing
to see you. Do I detect a flicker of fear? Oh, yes. A dementor’s kiss. One can
only imagine what that must be like to endure. It's said to be nearly unbearable
to witness, but I'll do my best.
LUPIN: Severus, pleaseSNAPE:
After you.
HARRY: Expelliarmus!
Scene 25: Peter Petigrew.
RON: Harry. What did you just do?
HERMIONE: You attacked a teacher!
HARRY: Tell me about Peter Pettigrew.
LUPIN: He was at school with us. We thought he was our friend.
HARRY: No. Pettigrew's dead. He killed him!
LUPIN: No he didn’t! I thought so, too, until you mentioned seeing Pettigrew on
the Map!
HARRY: The Map was lying thenSIRIUS:
The Map never lies! Pettigrew's alive, and he's right there!
RON: M- me? He’s mental!
SIRIUS: Not you, y-. Your rat!
RON: Scabbers has been in my family for yeSIRIUS:
Twelve years. A curiously long life for a common garden rat. He's
missing a toe, isn't he?
RON: So what?
HARRY: All they could find of Pettigrew was hisSIRIUS:
-finger! The dirty coward cut it off so everyone would think he was
dead. And then he transformed into a rat.
HARRY: Show me. Give it to him, Ron.
RON: What are you going to do to him? Scabbers! Leave him alone! Get off him!
What are you doing? Scabbers!
PETTIGREW: Aaaah! R- Remus... S- Sirius... My old friends! H- Harry! Look at
you! Y- you look just like your father. Like James. We were the best of friends,
he and ISIRIUS:
How dare you speak to Harry! How dare you talk about James in front of
LUPIN: You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn’t you?!
PETTIGREW: I didn't mean to! The Dark Lord, you have no idea the weapons he
possesses! Ask yourself, Sirius, what you would have done? What would you have
SIRIUS: I would have died! I would have died rather than betray my friends!
PETTIGREW: Harry, James wouldn’t have wanted me killed! Your dad- Your dad would
have spared me! He would have shown me mercy!
LUPIN: You should have realized, Peter, that if Voldemort didn’t kill you, then
we would. Together!
LUPIN: Harry, this man is...
HARRY: I know what he is. But we'll take him to the castle.
PETTIGREW: Bless you, boy! Bless youHARRY:
Get off! I said we'd take you to the castle. After that, the dementors
can have you.
----------Scene 26: Friends become foes.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Tunnel from Hogwarts - dark
SIRIUS: Sorry about the bite. I reckon that twinges a bit.
RON: A bit? A bit? You almost tore my leg off!
SIRIUS: Well, I was going for the rat. Normally, I have a very sweet disposition
as a dog. In fact, more than once James suggested that I make the change
permanent. The tail I could live with, but the fleas, they’re murder.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - night
HARRY: Okay... Okay.
RON: You’ve gotta go.
HARRY: No, no- don’t worry. That’s fine, I’ll stay.
HERMIONE: You go, I’ll stay.
HARRY: You okay?
RON: I’m fine. Go.
HERMIONE: Ah- that looks really painful.
RON: So painful... they, ah, they might chop it...
HERMIONE: I’m sure Madam Pomfrey’ll fix it in a heartbeat.
RON: It’s too late. It’s ruined. It’ll have to be chopped off.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - looking towards Hogwarts Castle - night
SIRIUS: It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I’ll never forget the first time I walked
through those doors. It’ll be nice to do it again as a free man. That was a
noble thing you did back there. He doesn’t deserve it.
HARRY: Well, I just didn’t think my dad would have wanted his two best friends
to become killers. Besides, dead, the truth dies with him. Alive... you're free.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - night
PETTIGREW: Turn me into a maggot. A dung beetle. A Flobberworm! Anything but the
dementors... Ron! Haven't I been a good friend? A good pet? You won't let them
give me to the dementors, will you? I was your rat!
PETTIGREW: Sweet girl. Clever girl. Surely you won't let them...
LUPIN: Get away from her!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - looking towards Hogwarts Castle - night
SIRIUS: I don't know if you know, Harry, but when you were born, James and Lily
made me your godfather...
HARRY: I know.
SIRIUS: And, well, I can understand if you choose to stay with your aunt and
uncle, but, if you ever wanted a different homeHARRY:
What? Come and live with you?
SIRIUS: Well, it’s- it’s just a thought. I can understand if you don’t want to.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - night
SIRIUS: Remus, my old friend... have you taken your potion tonight? You know the
man you truly are, Remus! This heart is where you truly live! This heart! Here!
Remus, this flesh is only flesh!
HARRY: Expelliarmus!
SIRIUS: Remus! Remus! Run! Run!
HARRY: Come on!
HERMIONE: Wait! Wait!
RON: Hermione! Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.
HERMIONE: Professor? Professor Lupin?
RON: Nice doggy. Nice doggy... SNAPE: There you are, Potter!
HARRY: Sirius!
SNAPE: Come back here, Potter!
Scene 27: The Dementor’s kiss.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake - night
HARRY: Sirius! No! Sirius!
SIRIUS: Whoa...
HARRY: Expecto... Patronum! Expecto... Patronum...
Scene 28: Hermione’s secret.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing - night
HARRY: I saw my dad.
HERMIONE: What...?
HARRY: He sent the dementors away... I saw him across the lake...
HERMIONE: Listen, Harry. They've captured Sirius. Any minute the dementors are
going to perform the Kiss.
HARRY: You mean they’re going to kill him?
HERMIONE: No. It’s worse. They’re going to suck out his soul. Headmaster! You've
got to stop them! They've got the wrong man!
HARRY: It's true, sir. Sirius is innocentRON:
It's Scabbers who did it!
DUMBLEDORE: Scabbers...?
RON: He’s my rat, sir. He's not really a rat. Well, he was a rat. He was my
brother Percy's rat— but then they gave him an owl, and I gotHERMIONE:
The point is... we know the truth. Please, believe us.
DUMBLEDORE: I do, Miss Granger. But I'm sorry to say the word of three thirteen
year-old wizards will convince few others. A child's voice, however honest and
true, is meaningless to those who have forgotten how to listen.
(bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong)
DUMBLEDORE: A mysterious thing, time. Powerful. And, when meddled with...
dangerous. Sirius Black is in the topmost cell of the Dark Tower. You know the
laws, Miss Granger. You must not be seen. And you would do well, I feel, to
return before this last chime. If not... the consequences are too ghastly to
discuss. If you succeed tonight, more than one innocent life may be spared.
Three turns should do it, I think. Oh, by the way, when in doubt, I find
retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin... Good luck.
RON: What the bloody hell was all that all about?
HERMIONE: Sorry, Ron. But seeing as you can't walk...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing – after time reversal – daytime
(bong, bong, bong)
HARRY: What just happened? Where's Ron?
HERMIONE: It’s seven-thirty. Where were we at seven-thirty?
HARRY: I dunno... going to Hagrid's?
HERMIONE: Come on! And we can't be seen!
HARRY: Hermione!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – wooden bridge - daytime
HARRY: Hermione! Hermione, wait! Hermione, will you please tell me what it is
we're doing? ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds - daytime
DRACO: (past) Ah. Come to see the show?
HERMIONE: (past) You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!
HARRY: But that... that's us.
RON: (past) Hermione, no! He’s not worth it!
HARRY: This is not normal!
HERMIONE: This is a Time-Turner, Harry. McGonagall gave it to me first term.
This is how I've been getting to my lessons all year.
HARRY: You mean, we've gone back in time?
HERMIONE: Yes. Dumbledore obviously wanted us to return to this moment. Clearly,
something happened he wants us to change.
HARRY: Good punch.
HERMIONE: Thanks. Malfoy's coming!
OTHER: (past) Come on, let’s go! Run! Wait for me! Run!
DRACO: (past) Not a word of this to anyone, understood!
OTHER: (past) Okay!
DRACO: (past) I'm gonna get that jumped-up Mudblood! Mark my words...
HERMIONE: (past) That felt good!
RON: (past) Not good. Brilliant!
HARRY: (past) Come on. We should be at Hagrid’s.
Scene 29: Onlookers to the rescue.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut - exterior
HARRY: Look. Buckbeak's still alive.
HERMIONE: Of course! Remember what Dumbledore said. If we succeed, more than one
innocent life could be spared. Let’s go!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut - exterior
HAGRID: (past) ...Great man, Dumbledore, great man.
HARRY: Here they come. I’d better hurry.
HERMIONE: Fudge has to see Buckbeak before we steal him. Otherwise, he'll think
Hagrid set him free.
RON: (past) Scabbers! You’re alive!
HAGRID: (past) Keep a closer eye on your pet...
HARRY: That's PettigrewHERMIONE:
Harry! You can't!
HARRY: Hermione, that's the man who betrayed my parents! You don't expect me to
just sit here...
HERMIONE: Yes! You must! Harry, you're in Hagrid's hut now. If you just go
bursting in, you'll think you've gone mad. Awful things happen to wizards who
meddle with time, Harry. We can't be seen.
HERMIONE: Fudge is coming and... we aren’t leaving... why aren't we leaving?
DUMBLEDORE: (past) There are many changes I think on the grounds...
HARRY: Are you mad?
HARRY: (past) Ow!
HARRY: That hurt.
HERMIONE: Sorry. C'mon. We're coming out the back door. Go!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s Hut – exterior - woods
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) 'It is the decision of the Committee for the Disposal of
Dangerous Creatures that the Hippogriff Buckbeak, hereafter called the
condemned, shall be executed this day at sundown...'
HERMIONE: Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?
HARRY: Shhh!
RON: (past) Blimey. HARRY: (past) What?
HERMIONE: (past) Nothing, I just thought I saw... Never mind.
RON: (past) Let’s go!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) “The executioner shall dispatch the condemned...”
DUMBLEDORE: (past) I really think the minister might feel it in his heart to
have a change of heart...
HERMIONE: Okay, go, Harry! Go!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) It seems the decision has been made, Dumbledore, nothing
you nor I can do...
HARRY: Get off! Get away! Get off!
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Minister, do you really want to cut off the head of the
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) No, I do not.
HARRY: C'mon, Buckbeak. Come on...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) 'As witnessed below.' Sign, just here... You sign here,
Hagrid. “The executioner, acting on behalf of the Committee...” Very well,
gentlemen. Shall we step outside...
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Ah, ah, Minister. I really think I should sign as well...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Yes, very well. Perhaps it would be a good thing if
HARRY: Okay, Buckbeak. Come on quickly. Come with us, now. Come on!
HERMIONE: Keep trying. Come on! Quickly!
HARRY: Buckbeak. Okay? Quickly. Hurry up. Okay?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) ...right here on the line, your name only.
DUMBLEDORE: (past) It is a very long name...
HARRY: Hurry up now, Buckbeak, okay?
HERMIONE: Come on. Come on, Buckbeak. Come and get the nice dead ferret... come
on, it’s here, come on Beaky.
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Here we are Minister, follow me... now look there, see...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Where?
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Look, beyond the rocks.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) What am I supposed to see?
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Professor Dippet had that ling planted when he was
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Oh, yes, indeed, indeed.
DUMBLEDORE: (past) And all the strawberries, you see...
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Strawberries, I see no strawberries.
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Over there.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Where?
DUMBLEDORE: (past) Over there. Look.
HERMIONE: This way!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Well, let's get this over with, please.
DUMBLEDRE: (past) All right.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) But, where is it? I just saw the beast, just now – not a
moment ago!
DUMBLEDORE: (past) How extraordinary!
HAGRID: (past) Buckbeak?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Oh, come now, Dumbledore. Someone's obviously released
him. Hagrid?
HAGRID: (past) Professor, I didn't!
DUMBLEDORE: (past) I don’t think the Minister’s suggesting that you had anything
to do with this, Hagrid. After all, how could you? Well, you've been with us all
the time.
HAGRID:(past) Well- right!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (past) Well, well... We must search the grounds- DUMBLEDORE: (past) Well, search the skies if you must, Minister. Meanwhile, I’d
like a nice cup of tea. Or... a large brandy. Oh, executioner, your services are
no longer required. Thank you.
HAGRID: (past) You’ll find no small glasses in this house, Professor, heh, heh.
Scene 30: Saving lives.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest - night
HERMIONE: Come on.
HARRY: This way.
HERMIONE: Come on this way. Come on.
HARRY: This way, now.
HARRY: Now what?
HERMIONE: We save Sirius.
HERMIONE: No idea.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow - night
HERMIONE: Look. It's Lupin.
LUPIN: (past) Immobililus!
HERMIONE: And Snape’s coming.
HARRY: And now we wait.
HERMIONE: And now we wait.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Whomping Willow – night - later
HERMIONE: At least someone's enjoying himself.
HARRY: Yeah. Hermione...
HARRY: Before, down by the lake, when I was with Sirius... I did see someone...
that someone made the dementors go away...
HERMIONE: With a Patronus. I heard Snape telling Dumbledore. According to him,
only a really powerful wizard could have conjured it.
HARRY: It was my dad. It was my dad who conjured the Patronus.
HERMIONE: But, Harry, your dad's...
HARRY: Dead. I know. I'm just telling you what I saw.
HERMIONE: Here we come.
HARRY: You see Sirius talking to me there?
HARRY: He's asking me to come live with him.
HERMIONE: That’s great.
HARRY: When we free him, I'll never have to go back to the Dursley's. It’ll just
be me and him. We could live in the country. Someplace you can see the sky. I
think he'll like that after all those years in Azkaban.
HERMIONE: (past) Harry!
SIRIUS: (past) Run! Run!
HARRY: Let’s go!
HERMIONE: Ow-oooooh!
HARRY: What are you doing?
HERMIONE: Saving your life.
HERMIONE: Ow-oooooh!
HARRY: Thanks. Great. Now he’s coming for us.
HERMIONE: Yeah, I didn’t think about that. Run!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest - night
HERMIONE: Ah! That was so scary!
HARRY: Poor Professor Lupin’s having a really tough night!
----------Scene 31: Truly seen, truly free.
HARRY: Sirius. Come on!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake - night
HERMIONE: This is horrible...
HARRY: Don't worry. My dad will come... he'll conjure the Patronus... any minute
now... right there... you’ll see...
HERMIONE: Harry, listen to me. No one's coming...
HARRY: Don’t worry, he will. He will come!
You're dying... both of you...
HARRY: Expecto Patronum!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - flying on Buckbeak - night
HARRY: You were right, Hermione. It wasn't my dad I saw earlier. It was me! I
saw myself conjuring the Patronus before. I knew I could do it this time,
because... well, I'd already done it. Does that make sense?
HERMIONE: No! But I don't like flying- aeee!
HARRY: Whoo-hoo!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside Dark Tower - night
HERMIONE: Bombarda!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - flying on Buckbeak - night
SIRIUS: Ha-ha-ha! Ha, haa, ha, ha!
HARRY: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo-hoo! Whooo!
Scene 32: Two places at once.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway - night
SIRIUS: I'll be forever grateful for this... to both of you.
HARRY: I want to go with you.
SIRIUS: One day, perhaps. For some time my life will be too unpredictable. And
besides, you're meant to be here.
HARRY: But, you’re innocent.
SIRIUS: And you know it. And for now, that’ll do.
HERMIONE: Down, Buckbeak.
SIRIUS: I expect you’re tired of hearing this... but you look so like your
father. Except your eyes... you haveHARRY:
My mother’s eyes.
SIRIUS: It’s cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you
so little... But know this- the ones that love us never really leave us, and you
can always find them... in here.
SIRIUS: You really are the brightest witch of your age.
(bong, bong, bong)
HERMIONE: We have to go.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing – corridor - night
(bong, bong, bong)
HARRY: He's free- we did it.
DUMBLEDORE: Did what? Good night.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hospital Wing - night
RON: How'd you get there? I was just talking to you there... and now you’re
HERMIONE: What’s he talking about, Harry? HARRY: I don’t know. Honestly, Ron, how can somebody be in two places at once?
Scene 33: Mischief managed.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Weeping Willow - daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Professor Lupin’s office - daytime
LUPIN: Hello, Harry. I saw you coming. I've looked worse, believe me.
HARRY: You've been sacked.
LUPIN: No. No, I resigned, actually.
HARRY: Resigned? Why?
LUPIN: Well, it seems that somebody let slip the nature of my condition. This
time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving and parents will not want a, ahwell,
someone like me teaching their children.
HARRY: But DumbledoreLUPIN:
Dumbledore has already risked enough on my behalf. Besides, people like
me are,... well... let's just say that I'm used to it by now. Why do you look so
miserable, Harry?
HARRY: None of it made any difference. Pettigrew escaped.
LUPIN: Didn’t make any difference? Harry, it made all the difference in the
world. You helped uncover the truth. You saved an innocent man from a terrible
fate. It made a great deal of difference. If I am proud of anything, it is of
how much you have learned this year. Now, since I am no longer your teacher, I
feel no guilt whatsoever about giving this back to you. So now, I’ll say goodbye,
Harry. I feel sure we’ll meet again sometime. Until then... mischief
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA classroom - daytime
Scene 34: The Firebolt.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - daytime
RON: Stand back, I said! Or- or I'll take it upstairs if you don't settle!
NEVILLE: Harry! Wherever did you get it!
SEAMUS: Can I have a go, Harry? After you, of course–
HARRY: What are you talking about?
RON: Quiet! Let the man through.
RON: I- I didn’t mean to open it, Harry. It ah, i- ah- it was badly wrapped.
They made me do it!
FRED: It’s a Firebolt.
GEORGE: It’s the fastest broom in the world.
HARRY: For me? But, who sent it?
RON: No one knows.
HERMIONE: But this came with it.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - Entrance - daytime
OTHER: Let’s see what it will do!
OTHER: ...has to win the Quidditch Cup now!
SEAMUS: Go on, Harry.
NEVILLE: Yeah. Let's see.
OTHER: How fast is it Harry?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - daytime
HARRY: Whoaaaaahhhh! Ha ha! ----------
Scene 35: End credits map.
HARRY: Lumos! I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.

Scene 1: The Riddle House
LOCATION: Riddle House - graveyard – night
NAGINI: Ssssh...hayasha...
LOCATION: Riddle House - Caretaker’s cottage – exterior - night
LOCATION: Riddle House - Caretaker’s cottage – kitchen
RADIO: ... south dry spells of light to moderate rain with the outlook
of temperatures from 55 to 61 degrees Fahrenheit. Further north,
cumulative winds, light snow expected with increasing clouds...
FRANK BRYCE: Bloody kids.
LOCATION: Riddle House – exterior – night
BIRD: (caw, caw)
LOCATION: Riddle House – interior entry - stairs
LOCATION: Riddle house – upstairs room
LORD VOLDEMORT: How fastidious you’ve become, Wormtail. As I recall,
you once called the newest scuttlebutt hope. Could it be that your
boundless mercy is but unwillingness from you?
WORMTAIL: Oh, no, no, no, my Lord Voldemort. I only meant... perhaps if
we were to do it without the boyVOLDEMORT:
No! The boy is everything. It cannot be done without him,
and it will be done exactly as I say.
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR: I will not disappoint you, my Lord.
VOLDEMORT: Good! First, gather our old comrades. Send them a- a sign.
NAGINI: Hay-sha-gasa-asay. Sa—say ah a-say.
VOLDEMORT: Nagini tells me the old Muggle caretaker is standing just
outside the door!
VOLDEMORT: Step aside, Wormtail, so I can give our guest a proper
greeting. Avada Kedavra!
Scene 2: The Portkey.
LOCATION: The Burrow – Ron’s room
HERMIONE: Harry. Harry! Are you alright?
HARRY: Hermione. Bad dream. When did you get here?
HERMIONE: Just now. You?
HARRY: Last night.
HERMIONE: Wake up. Wake up, Ronald!
RON: Bloody hell.
HERMIONE: Honestly, get dressed. And don't go back to sleep. Come on,
Ron! Your mother says breakfast's ready.
LOCATION: The Burrow – exterior
LOCATION: Grassy woodlands
HARRY: Ron, where are we actually going?
RON: Don't know. Hey, Dad! Where are we going?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Haven't the foggiest. Keep up!
AMOS DIGGORY: Arthur! It's about time, son.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Sorry, Amos. Some of us had a bit of a sleepy start. RON: (yawn)
ARTHUR WEASLEY: This is Amos Diggory, everyone. He works with me, at
the Ministry. And this strapping young lad must be Cedric, am I right?
CEDRIC: Yes, sir. This way.
AMOS DIGGORY: Merlin's beard, you must be Harry Potter.
HARRY: Yes, sir.
AMOS DIGGORY: Great, great pleasure.
HARRY: Pleasure to meet you too, sir.
AMOS DIGGORY: That's it, sir, just over there.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: We don't want to be late.
AMOS DIGGORY: Come on. Get in there. Get yourself into a good
HARRY: Why are they all standing around that manky old boot?
FRED: That isn't just any old manky boot, mate.
GEORGE: It's a Portkey.
HARRY: What's a 'Portkey'?
AMOS DIGGORY: After three. One... Two...
ALL: Ahh!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Let go kids!
ALL: Ahh!
HARRY: Ooof!
Ron: Ugh!
LOCATION: Grassy field
FRED:: I bet that cleared your sinuses, eh? Hah!
GEORGE: Total shambles, as per usual.
HARRY: Thanks.
Scene 3: The Quidditch World Cup.
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground
FRED: Come on, look at that!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Well kids, welcome to the Quidditch World Cup!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Keep up, girls!
GINNY: Look!
RON: Blimey!
AMOS DIGGORY: Parting of the ways I think, old chap. See you at the
ARTHUR WEASLEY: See you at the match! Cedric...Cedric!
HARRY: See ya later, Cedric.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Ah! Home, sweet home.
HARRY: What?
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground – Weasley tent - interior ARTHUR WEASLEY: Ah, excellent, excellent. Girls, choose a bunk and
unpack. Ron, get out of the kitchen. We're all hungry.
FRED, GEORGE: Yeah, get out of the kitchen, Ron.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Feet off the table.
FRED AND GEORGE: Feet off the table.
HARRY: I love magic.
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup – stadium – exterior - night
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - stadium - stands
RON: Blimey, Dad, how far up are we?
LUCIUS MALFOY: Well, put it this way. If it rains... you'll be the
first to know.
DRACO: Father and I are in the Minister's box, by personal invitation
of Cornelius Fudge, himself.
LUCIUS MALFOY: Don't boast, Draco. There's no need with these people.
Do enjoy yourself, won't you, while you can.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Come on up, take your seats. I told you these seats
would be worth waiting for. Ha!
GEORGE: Come on! A-hah!
FRED: It's the Irish! There’s Troy!
GEORGE: And Mullet.
FRED: And Moran!
GEORGE: Here come the Bulgarians!
HARRY: Oh, yes!
HERMIONE: Who’s that?
RON: Yeah!
FRED: That’s just the best seeker in the world.
OTHERS: Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum...
HERMIONE: Whoo-hoo!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (Amplified) Good evening! As Minister for Magic, it
gives me great pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to the
final of the four hundred and twenty-second Quidditch World Cup. Let
the match begin!
Scene 4: The Dark Mark.
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground – Weasley tent – interior -
ALL: To-doodle-doo-doodle-doo-doo-doodle-doo...
RON: There's no one like Krum.
FRED: Dumb-Krum.
RON: He's like a bird, the way he rides the wind. He's more than an
athlete. He's an artist.
GINNY: I think you're in love, Ron.
FRED: Viktor, I love you!
GEORGE: Viktor, I do!
FRED, GEORGE, HARRY: When we're apart my heart beats only for youuu!
FRED: Sounds like the Irish have got their pride on. Heh, heh.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Stop! Stop it. It's not the Irish. We've gotta get out
of here. Now!
---------- LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground – Weasley tent – exterior –
OTHER: Run! Get out! It’s the Death Eaters!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Get back to the Portkey, everybody, and stick together!
Fred, George... Ginny is your responsibility. Go!
LOCAATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground – night
HERMIONE: Harry! Harry! Harry!
OTHERS: Ahh! Ohh!
HARRY: Ah-ah-ah-ahh! Ugh! Oh-ugh!
LOCATION: Quidditch World Cup - campground – night – later
RON: Harry! Where are you?
RON: We’ve been looking for you for ages. Thought we lost you, man.
What is that?
OTHERS: Stupefy!
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Stop! That's my son! Ron, Harry, Hermione are you
RON: We came back for Harry.
MR. CROUCH: Which of you conjured it?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Crouch, you can't possibly...
MR. CROUCH: Do not lie! You’ve been discovered at the scene of the
HARRY: Crime?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Barty, they're just kids!
HARRY: What crime?
HERMIONE: It's the Dark Mark, Harry. It’s his mark.
HARRY: Voldemort? Those people tonight, in the masks... they're his,
too, aren't they? His followers.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: Yes. Death Eaters.
MR. CROUCH: Follow me.
HARRY: Um, there was a man...before. Uh, there.
MR. CROUCH: All of you, this way.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: A man, Harry. Who?
HARRY: I dunno. I didn't see his face.
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – exterior – dusk
Scene 5: The Triwizard Tournament.
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express - interior
FOOD TROLLEY LADY: Anything from the trolley? Anything from the
trolley? Anything from the trolley, dears?
RON: Packet of Drooble’s and a... Licorice Wand. On second thought,
just the Drooble’s.
HARRY: It's alright, I'll get it.
RON: Just the Drooble’s, thanks.
CHO: Two pumpkin pasties, please... Thank you.
FOOD TROLLEY LADY: Anything sweet for you, dear?
HARRY: Oh, no. I’m not hungry, thank you.
FOOD TROLLEY LADY: Anything from the trolley? HERMIONE: This is horrible. How can the Ministry not know who conjured
it? Isn't there any security orRON:
Loads, according to Dad. That's what worried them so much- it
happened right under their noses.
HERMIONE: It's hurting again, isn't it, your scar.
HARRY: I'm fine.
HERMIONE: You know Sirius will want to hear about this- what you saw at
the World Cup, and the dream.
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior - later
HARRY: Hedwig, there we go.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entryway – exterior – Beauxbatons carriage
HAGRID: Clear the runway. Huh. Huh. Ho! Owww!
FRED: Whoa! Well, there's something you don't see every day.
GEORGE: Ha, ha, ha.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – Durmstrang ship - exterior
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall
DUMBLEDORE: Well, now we're all settled in and sorted, I'd like to make
an announcement. This castle will not only be your home this year, but
home to some very special guests, as well. You see, Hogwarts has been
chosen... (whispering) what is it?
FILCH: (whispering) ...Beauxbatons...
DUMBLEDORE: (whispering) They have to wait.
DUMBLEDORE: So, Hogwarts has been chosen to host a legendary event: the
Triwizard Tournament. Now, for those of you who do not know, the
Triwizard Tournament brings together three schools for a series of
magical contests. From each school, a single student is selected to
compete. Now let me be clear: if chosen, you stand alone. And trust me
when I say these contests are not for the faint hearted, but more of
that later. For now, please join me in welcoming the lovely ladies of
the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and their Headmistress, Madame Maxime.
RON: Bloody hell...
SEAMUS: Blimey, that's one big woman.
HOGWARTS STUDENTS: Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-oo!
DUMBLEDORE: And now, our friends from the north. Please greet the proud
sons of Durmstrang and their High Master, Igor Karkaroff.
RON: Blimey, it's him. Viktor Krum!
Scene 6: The Goblet of Fire.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – stormy night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Start of Term Feast
MADAME MAXIME: Professor Dumbly-dorr, my ’orses have traveled a long
way. They will need attending to.
DUMBLEDORE: Not to worry, Madame Maxime. Our gamekeeper, Hagrid, is
more than capable of seeing to them. HAGRID: Ha, ha, hum...
MADAME MAXIME: But you know, Monsieur ’Agrid...
HAGRID: Um-hum?
MADAME MAXIME: ...they drink only single-malt whiskey.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - later
DUMBLEDORE: Your attention, please! I would like to say a few words.
Eternal glory. That is what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard
Tournament. But to do this, that student must survive three tasks.
Three extremely dangerous tasks.
DUMBLEDORE: For this reason, the Ministry has seen fit to impose a new
rule. To explain all this we have the head of the Department of
International Magical Cooperation, Mr. Bartemius Crouch.
STUDENTS: Ahh! Eeeh!
RON: Bloody hell, it's Mad-Eye Moody.
HERMIONE: Alastor Moody? The Auror?
RON: Dark wizard catcher. Half the cells in Azkaban are full, thanks to
him. He's supposed to be mad as a hatter, though, these days.
DUMBLEDORE: Ah, my dear old friend, thanks for coming.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Stupid ceiling.
SEAMUS: What's that he's drinkin’, do you suppose?
HARRY: I dunno, but I don't think it's pumpkin juice.
MR. CROUCH: After due consideration, the Ministry has concluded that,
for their own safety, no student under the age of seventeen should be
allowed to put forth their name for the Triwizard Tournament. This
decision is final.
FRED AND GEORGE: That's rubbish!
GEORGE: That’s rubbish! You don't know what you're doing!
HERMIONE: We’ll not talk about that, then.
DUMBLEDORE: The Goblet of Fire. Anyone wishing to submit themselves for
the Tournament, merely write their name upon a piece of parchment and
throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so
lightly; if chosen there's no turning back. As from this moment, the
Triwizard Tournament has begun.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Durmstrang ship – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Great Hall - night
Scene 7: The Unforgivable Curses.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - DADA Classroom
MAD-EYE MOODY: Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror. Ministry malcontent. And your
new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am here because Dumbledore
asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions? When it comes
to the Dark Arts, I believe in a practical approach. But first, which
of you can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are?
HERMIONE: Three, sir.
MAD-EYE MOODY: And they are so named? HERMIONE: Because they are unforgivable. Use any one of them will...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Will earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban. Correct. Now
the Ministry says you're too young to see what these curses do. I say
different! You need to know what you're up against! You need to be
prepared! You need to find another place to put your chewing gum
besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnigan!
SEAMUS: Aw, no way! The old codger can see out the back of his head!
MAD-EYE MOODY: I’m here to call the class rules! So, which curse shall
we see first? Weasley!
RON: Yes...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Stand! Give us a curse.
RON: Well, my- my dad did tell me about one...
RON: The Imperious Curse.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Oh yeah, your father would know all about that. Gave the
Ministry quite a bit of grief a few years ago. Perhaps this will show
you why. Hello. Lovely little beauty. Engorgio. Imperio!
STUDENTS: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
CRABBE: Ahh! Ah!
MAD-EYE MOODY: Don't worry. It’s completely harmless.
MAD-EYE MOODY: But, if she bites...
RON: Ah! Ahh!
MAD-EYE MOODY: ...she's lethal!
RON: Ah!
STUDENTS: Ha, ha, ha!
DRACO: Ha, Ha! Ha, ha, ha!
MAD-EYE MOODY: What are you laughing at?
DRACO: Ahh! Get it off me!
HARRY: Aha, ha, ha!
MAD-EYE MOODY: Ah-ha, ha, ha! Talented, isn't she? What shall I have
her do next? Jump out the window? Drown herself? Scores of witches and
wizards have claimed that they only did You-Know-Whose bidding under
the influence of the Imperious Curse. But, here's the rub: how do we
sort out the liars? Another... another... Ah, ha... come on.
Longbottom, is it? Up. Professor Sprout tells me you have an aptitude
for Herbology.
NEVILLE: There- there's the um... The Cruciatus Curse.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Correct! Correct! Come, come. Particularly nasty. The
torture curse. Crucio!
HERMIONE: Stop it! Can't you see it's bothering him? Stop it!
MAD-EYE MOODY: Ah. Um, huh. Perhaps you could give us the last
Unforgivable Curse, Miss Granger.
MAD-EYE MOODY: No? Avada Kedavra! The killing curse. Only one person is
known to have survived it. And he's sitting in this room.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – spiral staircase
RON: Brilliant, isn't he! Completely demented, of course. Terrifying to
be in the same room with. But he's really been there, you know. He’s
looked evil in the eye.
HERMIONE: There's a reason those curses are unforgivable, and to
perform them in a classroom... I mean, did you see Neville's face?
HERMIONE: Neville?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Son, you alright?
NEVILLE: (nods)
MAD-EYE MOODY: Come on, we'll have a cup of tea. I want to show you
something. ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – raining
Scene 8: The Four Champions.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall
STUDENTS: (clapping)
BOY: Come on, Cedric, put it in!
STUDENTS: Yeah! (clapping)
RON: Eternal glory. Be brilliant, wouldn't it? In three years from now,
we'll be old enough to be chosen.
HARRY: Yeah, well rather you than me.
FRED AND GEORGE: Ha, ha! Yeah! Yes!
STUDENTS: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
GEORGE: Thank you, thank you. Ha! Well lads, we've done it.
FRED: Cooked it up just this morning.
HERMIONE: It's not going to work.
FRED: Oh, yeah?
GEORGE: And why's that, Granger?
HERMIONE: You see this? This is an age line. Dumbledore drew it
HERMIONE: So, a genius like Dumbledore couldn't possibly be fooled by a
dodge as pathetically dimwitted as an aging potion.
FRED: Ah, but that's why it's so brilliant.
GEORGE: Because it’s so pathetically dimwitted.
FRED: Ah-hah!
GEORGE: Ready, Fred?
FRED: Ready, George?
FRED AND GEORGE: Bottoms up!
STUDENTS: Yeah! Whoo!
FRED: Ah, ha, ha, ha! Yes!
FRED AND GEORGE: Ready? Yes! Ahhh! Umph!
GEORGE: You said...
FRED: You said...
GEORGE: Alright, you want a piece of it?
STUDENTS: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – night
DUMBLEDORE: Sit down, please. And now the moment you've all been
waiting for: the champion selection!
DUMBLEDORE: The Durmstrang champion is... Viktor Krum!
DUMBLEDORE: The champion from Beauxbatons... is Fleur Delacour.
DUMBLEDORE: The Hogwarts champion... Cedric Diggory.
DUMBLEDORE: Excellent! We now have our three champions! But in the end,
only one will go down in history. Only one will hoist this chalice of
champions, this vessel of victory, the Triwizard Cup!
DUMBLEDORE: Harry Potter... Harry Potter?
HAGRID: No... No!
DUMBLEDORE: Harry Potter!
HERMIONE: Go on, Harry. Harry, for goodness sake!
STUDENT: He's a cheat!
DEAN THOMAS: He's not even seventeen yet. ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Trophy Room – night
MADAME MAXIME: Dumbledore, wait!
KARKAROFF: Everything is a conspiracy theory with you...
MADAME MAXIME: I beg you pardon, Monsieur...
DUMBLEDORE: Quiet – I can’t think!
KARKAROFF: That’s just a conspiracy theory.
MADAME MAXIME: I protest! I protest!
DUMBLEDORE: Harry! Did you put your name in that Goblet of Fire?
HARRY: No, sir.
DUMBLEDORE: Did you ask one of the older students to do it for you?
HARRY: No, sir.
DUMBLEDORE: You're absolutely sure?
HARRY: Yes, sir. Yes, sir!
MADAME MAXIME: But of course, he is lying.
MAD-EYE MOODY: The hell he is. The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally
powerful magical object. Only an exceptionally powerful Confundus charm
could have hoodwinked it - magic way beyond the talents of a Fourth
KARKAROFF: You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-Eye.
MAD-EYE MOODY: It was once my job to think as Dark wizards do,
Karkaroff. Perhaps you remember?
DUMBLEDORE: That doesn't help, Alastor. I leave this to you, Barty.
MR. CROUCH: The rules are absolute. The Goblet of Fire constitutes a
binding magical contract. Mr. Potter has no choice. He is, as of
tonight, a Triwizard champion.
Scene 9: Let Events Unfold.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – night – raining
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - night
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This can't go on, Albus. First the Dark Mark, now
DUMBLEDORE: What do you suggest, Minerva?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Put an end to it. Don't let Potter compete!
DUMBLEDORE: You heard Barty. The rules are clear.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, the devil with Barty and his rules. And
since when did you accommodate the Ministry?
SNAPE: Master, I, too, find it difficult to believe this mere
coincidence. However, if we are to truly discover the meaning of these
events, perhaps we should, for the time being, let them unfold.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: What? Do nothing? Offer him up as bait? Potter is
a boy, not a piece of meat.
DUMBLEDORE: I agree... with Severus. Alastor, keep an eye on Harry,
will you?
MAD-EYE MOODY: I can do that.
DUMBLEDORE: Don't let him know, though. He must be anxious enough, as
it is... knowing what lies ahead. Then again, we all are.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - night
RON: How did you do it? Huh, never mind. It doesn't matter. You might
have let your best friend know, though.
HARRY: Let you know what?
RON: You know bloody well what.
HARRY: I didn't ask for this to happen, Ron. Okay? You're being stupid.
RON: Yeah, that's me. Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's stupid friend. HARRY: I didn't put my name in that cup. I don't want eternal glory. I
just wanna be... Look, I don't know what happened tonight, and I don't
know why. It just did, OK?
RON: Piss off.
Scene 10: Rita Skeeter.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Trophy Room - daytime
RITA SKEETER: What a charismatic quartet. Hello! I'm Rita Skeeter. I
write for the Daily Prophet. But of course, you know that, don't you?
It's you we don't know. You're the juicy news. What quirks lurk beneath
those rosy cheeks? What mysteries do the muscles mask? Does courage lie
beneath those curls? In short, what makes a champion tick? Me, myself
and I want to know, not to mention my rabid readers. So, who's feeling
up to sharing? Mmm? Shall we start with the youngest? Lovely.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Broom cupboard
RITA SKEETER: Mmm. This is cozy.
HARRY: Uh, it's a broom cupboard.
RITA SKEETER: You should feel right at home, then. Don't mind if I use
a Quick Quotes Quill, do you?
HARRY: Oh- um, no.
RITA SKEETER: So tell me Harry, here you sit, a mere boy of twelve...
HARRY: I'm fourteen.
RITA SKEETER: ...about to compete against three students, not only
vastly more emotionally mature than yourself, but who have mastered
spells that you wouldn't attempt in your dizziest daydreams. Concerned?
HARRY: Um, I- I dunno. I haven't really...thought about it.
RITA SKEETER: Just ignore the Quill. But then of course, you're no
ordinary boy of twelve, are you?
HARRY: Fourteen.
RITA SKEETER: The story's legend. Do you think it was the trauma of
your past that made you so keen to enter such a dangerous tournament?
HARRY: Ah, no, I- I didn't enter.
RITA SKEETER: Ah- Course you didn't. Everyone loves a rebel, Harry. Ah,
ha. Scratch that last. Speaking of your parents, were they alive, how
do you think they'd feel? Proud? Or concerned that your attitude shows,
at best, a pathological need for attention; at worst, a psychotic death
HARRY: Hey, my ‘eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past’!
Scene 11: Sirius Conversation.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Owlery - exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Owlery - daytime
SIRIUS (LETTER): Harry, I couldn't risk sending Hedwig. Ever since the
World Cup the Ministry's been intercepting more and more owls, and
she's too easily recognized. We need to talk, Harry, face to face. Meet
me in the Gryffindor common room at one o’clock this Saturday night,
and make sure you're alone. Sirius. P.S....
SIRIUS (LETTER): The bird bites.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - night HARRY: Sirius?
RITA SKEETER (ARTICLE): ‘Harry Potter, aged twelve, suspect entrant in
the Triwizard Tournament, his eyes swimming with the ghosts of his
past, is choking back tears’...ah-hahh!
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): Psst...psst. Ahh...
HARRY: Sirius?! How...
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): I don't have much time, Harry, so let me get straight
to it. Did you, or did you not, put your name into the Goblet of Fire?
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): Shh... I had to ask. Now, tell me about this dream of
yours. You mentioned Wormtail and Voldemort, but who was the third man
in the room?
HARRY: I dunno.
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): You didn't hear a name?
HARRY: No. Umm... Voldemort was giving him a job to do, something
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): And what was that?
HARRY: He wanted... me. I dunno why, but he was gonna use this man to
get to me. Well, I- I mean, it was only a dream, right?
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): Yes. It's just a dream. Look, Harry, the Death Eaters
at the World Cup, your name rising from that Goblet, these are not just
coincidences. Hogwarts isn't safe any more.
HARRY: What are you saying?
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): I'm saying the devils are inside the walls. Igor
Karkaroff, he was a Death Eater. And no one, no one stops being a Death
Eater. Then there's Barty Crouch- heart of stone- sent his own son to
HARRY: Do you think one of them put my name in the Goblet?
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): I haven't a clue who put your name in that Goblet,
Harry, but whoever did is no friend to you. People die in this
HARRY: I'm not ready for this, Sirius.
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): You don't have a choice.
HARRY: Someone's coming!
SIRIUS (IN FIRE): Keep your friends close, Harry!
RON: Who were you talking to?
HARRY: What? Who says I was talking to anyone?
RON: I heard voices.
HARRY: Maybe you're imagining things; wouldn't be the first time.
RON: You're probably just practicing for your next interview, I expect.
Scene 12: The Hungarian Horntail.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – shoreline - daytime
NEVILLE: Amazing. Amazing.
HARRY: Neville! You're doing it again!
NEVILLE: Oh, right. Sorry.
HARRY: Magical Water Plants of the Highland Lochs?
NEVILLE: Yeah- Moody gave it to me, that- that day we had tea.
HERMIONE: Look, we've already been through enough people. Why don't you
just go and talk to him yourself? Ughh. Ron, I just don’t know why.
What do you want me to say, again?
HERMIONE: Ronald would like me to tell you, that Seamus told him, that
Dean was told by Parvati, that Hagrid’s looking for you.
HARRY: Is that right? Well.... what?
HERMIONE: Uhhh...(whispering)
RON: (whispering) HERMIONE: Dean was told by Parvati that... Please don't ask me say it
again. Hagrid's looking for you.
HARRY: Well, you can tell Ronald...
HERMIONE: I'm not an owl!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest - night
HAGRID: Did you bring your father's cloak like I asked you?
HARRY: Yeah, I brought the cloak. Hagrid, where are we going?
HAGRID: You'll see soon enough. Now pay attention, this is important.
HARRY: What's with the flower? Hagrid, have you combed your hair?
HAGRID: As a matter of fact, I have. You might like to try the same
thing now and again.
HAGRID: Oh, the cloak. Put the cloak on.
HAGRID: Bonsoir, Olympe.
MADAME MAXIME: Oh, Hagrid. I thought perhaps you weren't coming. I
thought perhaps... you had... forgotten me.
HAGRID: Huh! I couldn't forget you, Olympe.
MADAME MAXIME: What is it you wanted to show me? When we spoke earlier,
you sounded so... exhilarated.
HAGRID: You'll be glad you came, trust me.
MADAME MAXIME: Ahh, c'est magnifique! Can we get closer?
HARRY: Dragons? That's the first task? You're joking.
HAGRID: Come on, Harry. They're just seriously misunderstood creatures.
HAGRID: Ah! Although, I have to admit that Horntail is a right nasty
piece of work. Poor Ron nearly fainted just seeing him, you know.
HARRY: Ron was here?
HAGRID: Oh, sure. His brother Charlie helped to bring them over from
Romania. Didn't Ron tell you that?
HARRY: No, he didn't. He didn't tell me a thing.
Scene 13: Transforming Malfoy.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - daytime
BOY: Ya stink, Potter.
STUDENT: Ah, you stink, Potter!
STUDENTS: Ha, ha, ha!
STUDENT: Potter! Potter stinks!
BOY: Cedric rules!
HARRY: Thanks.
ERNIE MACMILLAN: Like your badge?
HANNAH ABBOTT: Ha, ha, ha!
HARRY: Excuse me...
HANNAH ABBOTT: Ha, ha, ha...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – courtyard - daytime
STUDENT: Hey! Read the badge, Potter.
HARRY: Can I have a word?
CEDRIC: Alright.
STUDENT: You stink, Potter.
STUDENTS: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
HARRY: Dragons. That's the first task. They've got one for each of us.
STUDENT: Come on, Cedge.
CEDRIC: Do y- are you serious? And um, Fleur and Krum, do they...? HARRY: Yes.
STUDENT: Come on, Cedge, leave him. He’s not worth it. Read the badges,
CEDRIC: Right... Hey listen, about the badges. I've asked them not to
wear them.
HARRY: Don't worry about it.
SEAMUS: It’s not like they try to blow things up exactly. This happens
a fair bit. You have to admit, though, Fleur is pretty fascinating.
HARRY: You're a right foul git, you know that?
RON: You think so?
HARRY: I know so.
RON: Anything else?
HARRY: Yeah. Stay away from me.
RON: Fine.
STUDENT: There’s Potter.
OTHER: Heh, heh, heh.
DRACO: Why so tense, Potter? My father and I have a bet, you see. I
don't think you're gonna last ten minutes in this tournament... He
disagrees. He thinks you won't last five. Ha, ha!
HARRY: I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy.
HARRY: He's vile and cruel, and you're a pathetic.
DRACO: Pathetic? I’ll teach you...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Hold it there, sonny...
DRACO: Whaa!
MAD-EY MOODY: I'll teach you to curse someone when their back is
turned. You stinkin’, cowardly, scummy, backstabbing...
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Professor Moody, what- what are you doing?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Teaching.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Is that a- Is that a student?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Technically, it's a ferret.
CRABBE: Ahh! Oh! Aha! Ah!
GOYLE: Stand still...stand still! Argh!
STUDENTS: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
HARRY: Ha, ha!
DRACO: Ah! Whoa! Well, my father will hear about this!
MAD-EYE MOODY: Is that a threat? Huh?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Is that a threat?
MAD-EYE MOODY: I could tell you stories about your father that would
curl even your greasy hair, boy!
MAD-EYE MOODY: It doesn't end here!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Alastor! We never use transfiguration as a
punishment! Surely, Dumbledore told you that?
MAD-EYE MOODY: He might've mentioned it.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Well, you will do well to remember it. Away!
MAD-EYE MOODY: You. Come with me.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moody’s office
MAD-EYE MOODY: Oh, ahh. Ahhh. That's a Foe-Glass. Lets me keep an eye
on my enemies. If I can see the whites of their eyes, they're standing
right behind me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
(Bump...Arhh!) MAD-EYE MOODY: Wouldn't even bother telling you what's in there. You
wouldn't believe it, if I did. Now... what are you going to do about
your dragon?
HARRY: Oh... um... Well, you know, I just thought I'd...uh...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Sit. Listen to me, Potter. Your pal Diggory, by your age
he could turn a whistle into a watch and have it sing you the time.
Miss Delacour, she's as much a fairy princess as I am. As for Krum, his
head may be filled with sawdust, but Karkaroff's is not. They'll have a
strategy, and you can bet that it will play to Krum's strengths. Hmm?
Come on, Potter. What are your strengths?
HARRY: Um... I dunno... Well, I can fly. I mean, I'm a fair flyer. But
MAD-EYE MOODY: Better than fair, the way I heard it.
HARRY: But, I'm not allowed a broom.
MAD-EYE MOODY: You're allowed a wand.
Scene 14: The First Task.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena – exterior – daytime
FRED: Bets, place your bets...
GEORGE: Bets taken. Bets taken here...
FRED: Step up, mates! Take a chance on today’s bloodbath!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena - stands
FRED: He’s small, but he’s on the bound to survive on today’s index.
Yes, sir...ten for Fleur, there you go. Thank you very much.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena - Champions’ tent – interior
DUMBLEDORE (Amplified): Your attention, please. This is a great day for
all of us.
DRAGON: (Roar)
DUMBLEDORE (Amplified): Each of the three tasks involves very
considerable danger. Please keep your seats at all times...
HERMIONE: Pssst! Pssst! Harry? Is that you?
HARRY: Yeah.
HERMIONE: How are you feeling? OK? ...The key is to concentrate. After
that, you just have to...
HARRY: Battle a dragon.
RITA SKEETER: (Flash) Young love! Ohh, how... Mmm... stirring. Hmm...
If everything goes unfortunately today, you two may even make the front
KRUM: You have no business here. This tent is for champions and
RITA SKEETER: No matter. We've a... got what we wanted.
DUMBLEDORE: Good day, champions. Gather round, please. Now, you've
waited. You've wondered. And at last, the moment has arrived. The
moment only four of you can fully appreciate.
DUMBLEDORE: What are you doing here, Miss Granger?
HERMIONE: Oh, um.. Sorry, I'll just... go.
DUMBLEDORE: Barty, the bag.
MR. CROUCH: Champions, in a circle around me. Miss Delacour, over here.
Mr. Krum, and a, Potter, Mr. Potter, over here. That’s right. Now. Miss
Delacour, if you will...
MR. CROUCH: The Welsh Green. Mr. Krum...
MR. CROUCH: The Chinese Fireball. Oooooh.
MR. CROUCH: The Swedish Short-Snout. Which leaves... HARRY: The Horntail...
MR. CROUCH: What's that boy?
HARRY: Nothing.
MR. CROUCH: The Hungarian Horntail. These represent four very real
dragons, each of which has been given a golden egg to protect. Your
objective is simple: collect the egg. This you must do, for each egg
contains a clue without which you cannot hope to proceed to the next
task. Any questions?
DUMBLEDORE: Very well. Good luck champions. Mr. Diggory, at the sound
of the cannon you need to...
CROWD: (Cheers) Diggory! Diggory! Diggory! Diggory! Diggory! Diggory!
Diggory! Diggory! Diggory!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Champions’ tent – interior - later
DUMBLEDORE (Amplified): Three of our champions have now faced their
dragons, and so each one of them will proceed to the next task. And
now, our fourth and final contestant...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena – stands
CROWD: (Cheers)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena - interior
CROWD: Oh! Ahhh! Whoa!
DRAGON: (Roar)
CROWD: Oh! Aeee! Ahh!
KARKAROFF: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!
HERMIONE: Your wand, Harry! Your wand!
HARRY: Accio Firebolt!
CROWD: Yeah!
RON: Yeah! Go!
RON: Oh, my!
HARRY: Whoa!
FRED: Well done. Dragon!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dragon arena – stands
HERMIONE: Yeah! Yes!
CROWD: (cheers)
Scene 15: Best Foot Forward.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
STUDENTS: (Cheering)
HERMIONE: Whoo-hoo!
STUDENT: Well done, Harry! Whoo-hoo!
FRED: Yes, Harry!
GEORGE: We knew you wouldn't die, Harry.
FRED: Lose a leg...
GEORGE: ...or an arm...
FRED: ...pack it in altogether...
FRED AND GEORGE: Never! Ha, haa! SEAMUS: Show us! Go on, Harry, what's the clue?
HARRY: Who wants me to open it?
HARRY: Do you want me to open it?
RON: What the bloody hell was that?
FRED: Alright everyone, go back to your knitting. Uh, this is gonna be
uncomfortable enough without all you nosey sods listening in.
RON: I reckon you'd have to be barking mad to put your own name in the
Goblet of Fire.
HARRY: Caught on, have you? Took you long enough.
RON: I wasn't the only one who thought you'd done it. Everyone was
saying it behind your back.
HARRY: Brilliant. That makes me feel loads better.
RON: At least I warned you about the dragons.
HARRY: Hagrid warned me about the dragons.
RON: No- no, no, I did. No, don't you remember? I told Hermione to tell
you that Seamus told me that Parvati told Dean that Hagrid was looking
for you. Seamus never actually told me anything, so it was- it was
really me all along. I thought we'd be alright, you know, after you
figured that out.
HARRY: Who- who could possibly figure that out? That's completely
RON: Heh, heh, yeah, it is, isn't it? Suppose I was a bit distraught.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – morning
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – morning
CHO: (whispering) Heh, he, he. Shh!
HERMIONE: Look at this! I can't believe it! She's done it again. ‘Miss
Granger, a plain but ambitious girl, seems to be developing a taste for
famous wizards. Her latest prey, sources report, is none other than the
Bulgarian bon-bon Viktor Krum. No word yet on how Harry Potter's taking
this latest emotional blow’.
NIGEL: Parcel for you, Mr. Weasley.
RON: Ah, thank you, Nigel.
RON: Not now, Nigel. Later. Go on.
RON: I- I told him I'd get him Harry's autograph.
HERMIONE: (sigh)
RON: Oh look, Mum's sent me something... Mum sent me a dress?
HARRY: Well, it does match your eyes. Is there a bonnet? Ah-hah!
RON: Put those down, Harry. Ginny, these must be for you.
GINNY: I'm not wearing that-- it's ghastly.
HERMIONE: Ha, ha, ha.
RON: What are you on about?
HERMIONE: They're not for Ginny. They're for you—
FRED AND GEORGE: Aha, ha. Ha, ha!
HERMIONE: -dress robes.
RON: Dress robes? For what?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – assembly hall
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: The Yule Ball has been a tradition of the...
Triwizard Tournament since its inception. On Christmas eve night, we
and our guests gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity. As representatives of the host school, I expect each and
every one of you to put your best foot forward, and I mean this
literally, because the Yule Ball is first and foremost... a dance.
BOYS: Aw...(mumble)
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Silence. The house of Godric Gryffindor has
commanded the respect of the wizard world for nearly ten centuries. I
will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that
name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.
FRED: Try saying that five times faster.
GEORGE: Babbling, bumbling band of baboons...
FRED: Babbling, bumbling band of baboons...
GEORGE: Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, to dance is to let the body breathe. Inside
every girl a secret swan slumbers, longing to burst forth and take
RON: Something's about to burst out of Hilary’s middle, but I don't
think it's a swan.
SEAMUS: Heh, heh.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Inside every boy, a lordly lion prepared to
prance. Mr. Weasley...
RON: Yes?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Will you join me, please?
RON: Hmm.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, place your right hand on my waist.
RON: Where?
BOY: (whistles)
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now bend your arm.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Mr. Filch, if you please... One, two, three; one,
two, three; one, two, three...
FRED AND GEORGE: (humming)
HARRY: Oi! Never gonna let him forget this, are you?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Everybody come together. Boys, on your feet.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory – night
NEVILLE: (humming)
Scene 16: An Unexpected Challenge.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – courtyard - daytime
HARRY: Why do they have to travel in... packs? And how are you supposed
to get one on their own to ask them?
RON: Blimey, Harry, you’ve slayed dragons. If you can't get a date, who
HARRY: I think I'd take the dragon right now.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway - night
HAGRID: I take after my mum. Though I didn't know her very well. She
left when I was about three.
HAGRID: No, not the maternal sort, her; broke my dad's heart, though.
Do you know he was a tiny little feller, my dad? I could pick him up at
the age of six with one hand and put him up on the dresser.
HAGRID AND MADMAE MAXIME: Ha, ha, ha, ha! HAGRID: You laughed so hard at that... And then he died, just when I
started school. An’ so I sort o’ had to make me own way, as it were.
But enough of me, what about you?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – shoreline – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Study hall - daytime
RON: This is mad. At this rate we'll be the only ones in our year
without dates. Ow!
RON: Well, us and Neville! Heh!
HARRY: Yeah, but then again, he can take himself.
RON: Heh, heh, heh.
HERMIONE: It might interest you to know that Neville's already got
RON: Aw... Now I'm really depressed.
RON (READING NOTE FROM FRED): ‘Get a move on or all the good ones will
have gone’
RON: Who are you goin’ with, then?
FRED: Oi! Angelina. Do you want to go to the ball with me?
ANGELINA JOHNSON: To the ball? Sure!
RON: Well, Hermione, you're a girl.
HERMIONE: Oh, well spotted.
RON: Come with one of us? Ow!
RON: Come on. It's one thing for a bloke to show up alone. For a girl
it's just sad.
HERMIONE: I won't be going alone because, believe it or not, someone's
asked me.
HERMIONE: And I said ‘yes.’
RON: Bloody hell. She’s lying, right?
HARRY: If you say so.
RON: Look. We've just got to grit our teeth and do it. Tonight when we
get back to the common room, we'll both have partners. Agreed?
HARRY: Agreed.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Owlery - exterior – winter snow
LOCAITION: Hogwarts – Owlery - stairs
CHO: Oh!
CHO: Harry! Hee, hee.
HARRY: Ha, ha.
CHO: Watch yourself on the stairs; it's a bit icy at the top.
HARRY: OK, thanks. Cho?
CHO: Yes?
HARRY: Um... Wa- I just wondered if- I just wondered if maybe you
wanted to go to the ball with me?
CHO: Sorry? I didn't catch that.
HARRY: Um. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the ball
with me.
CHO: Oh, um... Harry, ah, I'm sorry, but someone's already asked me.
And, ah, well, I- I- I've said I'll go... with him.
HARRY: OK. Yeah. Great. Fine. No problem. OK. Good.
CHO: Harry, I really am... sorry.
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
HARRY: (sigh)
GINNY: It’s alright. It’s OK, Ron. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter.
HARRY: What happened to you?
GINNY: He just asked Fleur Delacour out.
HARRY: What did she say?
HERMIONE: No, of course.
HERMIONE: She said yes?
HARRY: Don't be silly.
RON: There she was, walking by- you know I like it when they walk- I
couldn't help it. It just sort of slipped out.
GINNY: Actually, he sort of screamed at her. It was a bit frightening.
HARRY: What did you do then?
RON: What else? I ran for it. I'm not cut out for this, Harry. I don't
know what got into me.
RON: I’ve always liked looking at them from behind...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Durmstrang ship – exterior – night
Scene 17: The Yule Ball.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entrance Hall - night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - night
RON: Bloody hell. Bloody hell! Bloody...
RON: What are those? What are those?
HARRY: My dress robes.
RON: Well, they're alright. No lace, no dodgy little collar.
HARRY: Well, I expect yours are more traditional.
RON: Traditional? They're ancient! I look like my great aunt Tessie! I
smell like my great aunt Tessie... Murder me, Harry.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Entrance Hall - night
HARRY: Leave it alone.
RON: Poor kid, bet she's alone in her room, crying her eyes out.
RON: Hermione, of course. Come on Harry, why'd you think she wouldn't
tell us who she's coming with?
HARRY: Because we'd take the mickey out of her if she did.
RON: Nobody asked her. I would have taken her meself, if she wasn't so
bleeding proud.
PADMA: Don't you look... dashing.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh, here you are, Potter. Are you and Miss Patil
HARRY: Ready, Professor?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: To dance! It's traditional that the three
champions, well in this case four, are the first to dance. Surely I
told you that?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh, ah- well, now you know. Oh, as for you, Mr.
Weasley, you- you may proceed into the Great Hall with Miss Patil. Oh,
there you are...
RON: Come on, then. PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Come along this way!
RON: Aw, come on!
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Now, I need you all to line up in the procession,
please. Oh!
PARVATI: She looks beautiful!
HARRY: Yeah, she does.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Yule Ball - night
PADMA: Is that... Hermione Granger? With Viktor Krum?
RON: Naw. A- absolutely not.
PARVATI: Hi! ...Harry, take my waist.
HARRY: What?
MAD-EYE MOODY: (humming)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Yule Ball – night -
SINGER: Are you ready? With a body like a hairy troll. A- learnin’ to
rock and roll. I spin around like a crazy elf, a-dancin’ by himself. I
boogie down like a unicorn. A- no stoppin’ till the break of dawn. Aw,
put you hands up in the air. Like an ogre, just don’t care. Oh, can you
dance like a hippogriff? My-my-my, My-my-my, My-my-my...
RON: He’s a ruddy pumpkin-head, isn’t he?
SINGER: Flying off from a cliff. My-my-my, My-my-my, My-my-my...
HARRY: I don’t think it was the books that had him going to the
SINGER: Swoopin’ down to the ground. My-my-my, My-my-my, My-my-my...
BOY: May I have your arm?
PARVATI: Arm, leg- I’m yours!
SINGER: Wheel around and around and around and around. My-my-my, Mymy-my,
SINGER: I got to get to grips, ah; I don’t want to feel like this, ah;
Your voice keeps haunting me; I cannot eat or sleep...
HERMIONE: Hot isn't it? Viktor's gone to go and get drinks. Would you
care to join us?
RON: No, we'd not care to join you and Viktor.
HERMIONE: What's got your wand in a knot?
RON: He's a Durmstrang. You're fraternizing with the enemy.
HERMIONE: The enemy? Who was it wanting his autograph? Besides, the
whole point of the Tournament is ‘international magical
cooperation’ make friends.
RON: Hrmph. I think he's got a bit more than friendship on his mind.
SINGER: ...Sailed across the ocean blue, from the highest mountain,
just to call your name. The moon throws down its light, and cuts me to
the quick tonight. Change is in the air. Nothing will never be the
PADMA: Are you going to ask me to dance, or not?
RON: No.
SINGER: You still look good to me, ooh, but your no good for me.
PADMA: Huh...
SINGER: I close my eyes, and I squeeze you from my consciousness...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall – decorated for Yule Ball – night -
RON: He's using you.
HERMIONE: How dare you! Besides, I can take care of myself. RON: I doubt it. He's way too old.
SINGER: It’s hard...
HERMIONE: What? What? That's what you think?
SINGER: You must be brave...
RON: Yeah, that is what I think.
HERMIONE: Well, you know the solution, then, don't you?
RON: Go on.
SINGER: Don’t let this moment slip away...
HERMIONE: Next time there's a ball, pluck up the courage and ask me
before somebody else does, and not as a last resort!
RON: Well, t- t- that's just a- that’s just completely off the point.
SINGER: Believe that magic works...
HERMIONE: Where have you been? Never mind! Off to bed, both of you.
RON: They get scary when they get older.
SINGER: Don’t be afraid...
HERMIONE: Ron, you spoiled everything!
SINGER: Of being hurt...
HARRY: What’s this about?
SINGER: No, don’t let this magic die. Oh, the answer’s there...
Scene 18: The Egg’s Clue.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory – night
LOCATION: Riddle House - graveyard – winter snow – night
LOCATION: Riddle House – upstairs room - night
VOLDERMORT: Let me see it again.
VOLDEMORT: Ah, ah yes, the time is close now. Harry! At last! Step
aside, Wormtail, so I can give our guest a proper greeting!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boy’s dormitory – night
NEVILLE: You alright, Harry? I- I just got in. M- me! Heh, heh...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – Wooden bridge - daytime
HERMIONE: Harry, you told me you'd figured the egg out weeks ago. The
task is two days from now.
HARRY: Really? I had no idea. I suppose Viktor's already figured it
HERMIONE: I wouldn't know. We don't actually talk about the Tournament.
Actually, we don't really talk at all. Viktor's more of a physical
being. Ah- I just mean, he's not particularly loquacious.
HARRY: Uh-hum.
HERMIONE: Mostly, he watches me study. It's a bit annoying, actually.
You are trying to figure this egg out, aren't you?
HARRY: What's that supposed to mean?
HERMIONE: It just means these tasks are designed to test you, in the
most brutal way; they're almost cruel. And um... I'm scared for you.
You got by the dragons mostly on nerve. I'm not sure it's going to be
enough this time.
CEDRIC: Hey, Potter... Potter!
HARRY: Cedric. CEDRIC: How- how are you?
HARRY: Spectacular.
CEDRIC: Look, I realize I never really thanked you properly for tipping
me off about those dragons.
HARRY: Forget about it. I'm sure you would have done the same for me.
CEDRIC: Exactly! You know the prefects’ bathroom on the fifth floor?
CEDRIC: It's not a bad place for a bath. Just take your egg and... mull
things over in the hot water.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Prefects’ bathroom - night
HARRY: I must be out of my mind.
HARRY: I’m definitely out of my mind.
MOANING MYRTLE: He-ha! I'd try putting it in the water, if I were you.
HARRY: Myrtle!
MOANING MYRTLE: Hi! Hi-ya, Harry. Aye. Long time, no see. Ah-ha-ah-oohwooo!

MOANING MYRTLE: I was circling a blocked drain the other day, and could
swear I saw a bit of Polyjuice potion. Not being a bad boy again are
you, Harry?
HARRY: Polyjuice potion? Kicked the habit. Myrtle, did you say ‘try
putting it in the water’?
MOANING MYRTLE: Wee-ooo-eee...ha-ah. Ohh, that's what he did. The other
boy. Mmmm, the handsome one, Cedric. Well, go on. Open it.
MERPERSON: (singing) Come seek us where our voices sound. We cannot
sing above the ground. An hour long you'll have to look, to recover
what we took.
HARRY: Ah- huh- huh...
MOANING MYRTLE: A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
HARRY: Myrtle, there aren't Merpeople in the Black Lake, are there?
MOANING MYRTLE: Ahhh, very good. It took Cedric ages to riddle it out.
Almost all the bubbles were gone... Rrrah! Ha! He, he, he, he, he...Ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha...Oh! Oh-oh!
HARRY: Uhh...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Library - night
HERMIONE: Harry, tell me again.
HARRY: Come seek us where our voices sound.
HERMIONE: The Black Lake, that's obvious.
HARRY: An hour long you'll have to look.
HERMIONE: Again obvious, although I admit, potentially problematic.
HARRY: Potentially problematic? When was the last time you held your
breath under the water for an hour, Hermione?
HERMIONE: Look, Harry, we- we can do this. The three of us can figure
it out.
MAD-EYE MOODY: I hate to break up the skull session. Professor
McGonagall would like to see you in her office. Not you, Potter, just
Weasley and Granger.
HERMIONE: But sir, the second task is only hours away and...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Exactly. Presumably Potter is well prepared by now, and
could do with a good night's sleep. Go. Now! ...Longbottom!
MAD-EYE MOODY: Why don't you help Potter put his books back.
NEVILLE: You know, i- if you're interested in plants, you'd be better
with Gorshok's Guide to Herbology. Do you know there's a wizard i- in
Nepal who’s growing gravity-resistant trees?
HARRY: Neville, no offense, but I really don't care about plants. Now,
if there's a Tibetan turnip that will allow me to breathe underwater
for an hour, then great. But otherwise... NEVILLE: I don't know about a turnip, but you can always use gillyweed.
Scene 19: The Second Task.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – shoreline – daytime
FRED: Place you bets, place your bets...
GEORGE: Place your bets...
FRED: Aye, aye. Come on. Step up, mates, don’t be shy!
GEORGE: Three hats...
FRED: One lady...
GEORGE: Four go down...
FRED: If the four come up...
GINNY: Don’t be so mean!
GEORGE: Ten to one!
HARRY: You're sure about this, Neville.
NEVILLE: Absolutely.
HARRY: For an hour.
NEVILLE: Most likely.
HARRY: Most likely?
NEVILLE: Well, there is some debate among herbologists as to the
effects of freshwater versus saltwater, but...
HARRY: You're telling me this now? You must be joking.
NEVILLE: I- I just wanted to help.
HARRY: Well, that makes you sight better than Ron and Hermione. Where
are they anyway?
NEVILLE: You seem a little tense, Harry.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) Welcome to the second task. Last night
something was stolen from each of our champions; a treasure of sorts.
These four treasures, one for each champion, now lie on the bottom of
the Black Lake. In order to win, each champion need only find their
treasure and return to the surface. Simple enough,
MAD-EYE MOODY: Put that in your mouth.
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) ...except for this: they will have but one hour
to do so, and one hour only. After that, they will be on their own. No
magic will save them. You may begin at the sound of the cannon...
CROWD: (cheers)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – underwater
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
SEAMUS: What's the matter with him?
DEAN THOMAS: I don't know. I can't see him!
NEVILLE: Oh, my god! I've killed Harry Potter!
SEAMUS: Ha, ha!
DEAN THOMAS: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – underwater
MERPEOPLE: (singing)
MERMAID: Whaaa! Ohhh! Ohh!
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) The Beauxbatons champion, Miss Delacour, has
unfortunately been forced to retire. She will take no further part in
this task.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – underwater
MERPEOPLE: (singing)
MERMAID: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
HARRY: But, she's my friend, too!
MERPERSON: Wha! Only one.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – surface
CHO: Ahh...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
CROWD: (cheering)
DUMBLEDORE: Let’s get down below.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – surface
KRUM: Huh...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
CROWD: Krum, Krum, Krum, Krum...
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – surface
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
CROWD: (cheering)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – underwater
HARRY: Ahh! Ugh! Ahh! Umph!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – surface
RON: Ugh!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
CROWD: (cheering)
FRED: Yes!
FLEUR: Gabrielle! It’s fini!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – underwater
HARRY: Ascentio!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – viewing stands
HARRY: Ah- ah- ah...
DUMBLEDORE: You’re alright. You’re alright now.
SEAMUS: Get him another towel.
DUMBLEDORE: I want all the judges over here, now.
FLEUR: You saved her, even though she wasn't yours to save. My little
sister! Thank you! And you... You helped!
RON: Well... yeah... a bit. FLEUR: Ha, ha! Gabrielle, ...
RON: Merci.
HARRY: Hermione. Ow!
HERMIONE: Are you alright? You must be freezing! Personally, I think
you behaved admirably.
HARRY: I finished last, Hermione. Ah!
HERMIONE: Next to last. Fleur never got past ze grindylows!
CROWD: Krum, Krum!
OTHERS: Diggory!
CROWD: Krum, Krum!
OTHERS: Diggory!
KARKAROFF: Come on! Come on!
DUMBLEDORE: Attention!
CROWD: Krum, Krum, Krum...
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) Attention! The winner is... Mr. Diggory! Who
showed unique command of the Bubble-Head Charm. However, seeing as Mr.
Potter would have finished first had it not been for his determination
to rescue not only Mr. Weasley, but the others as well, we've agreed to
award him... second place...
CROWD: (Cheers)
RON: Yes!
HERMIONE: Second place!
DUMBLEDORE: ...for outstanding moral fibre!
NIGEL: Yes! Ow!
Scene 20: Never Whole Again.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – shoreline
FRED: There you go. Call that moral fibre, eh?
RON: Moral fiber? Blimey, even when you go wrong, it turns out right.
GEORGE: Well done, ‘moral fibre.’
MR. CROUCH: Congratulations, Potter. Fine achievement. Well done, boy.
RON: See you at Hagrid’s, Harry.
MR. CROUCH: I'm sorry we haven't spoken. After all, your story is one
I've heard so many times. And quite remarkable, isn’t it? Tragic of
course, to lose one's family; never whole again, are we? Still, life
goes on, and here we stand. I'm sure your parents would be very proud
of you today, Potter.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Bartemius! Not trying to lure Potter into one of the
Ministry's summer internships, are we? The last boy who went into the
Department of Mysteries never came out!
MAD-EYE MOODY: And they say I'm mad.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest - night
HAGRID: Though I remember, I remember when I first met you all. Biggest
bunch of misfits I ever set eyes on. Suppose you reminded me of myself
a little. And here we all are... four years later.
RON: We're still a bunch of misfits.
HAGRID: Well, maybe. But, we've all got each other, and Harry, of
course. Soon to be! The youngest! Triwizard champion there's ever been!
Hooray! A-ha-ha! Heh, heh. ALL: (singing) ‘Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy-woggy Hogwarts, teach us
something, please! Whether we be old and bald or young with scabby
HARRY: Ah! Mr. Crouch?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - night
DUMBLEDORE: A man has died here, Fudge, and he won't be the last. You
must take action.
FUDGE: I will not. In times like these the wizard world looks to its
leaders for strength, Dumbledore.
DUMBLEDORE: Then for once, show them some.
FUDGE: The Triwizard Tournament will not be cancelled. I will not be
seen as a coward.
DUMBLEDORE: A true leader does what is right, no matter what others
FUDGE: What did you say? What did you say to me?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Excuse me, gentlemen. It may interest you to know this
conversation is no longer private.
FUDGE: Well, Harry! Harry, how good to see you again.
HARRY: I can come back later, Professor.
DUMBLEDORE: Oh, not necessary, Harry. The minister and I are done. I'll
be back in a moment. Minister, after you. There you are, ha, ha. Oh,
Harry, do feel free to indulge in a little licorice snap in my absence,
but I have to warn you, they're a wee bit sharp.
Scene 21: The Pensieve.
FAWKES: Rrrra...
LOCATION: Pensieve – Courtroom
HARRY: Ahhhhh! Umph! Ah- ah!
HARRY: Professor?
MAN: Professor.
MR. CROUCH: Igor Karkaroff, you have been brought from Azkaban at your
own request to present evidence to this counsel. Should your testimony
prove consequential, Counsel may be prepared to order your immediate
release. Until such time, you remain in the eyes of the Ministry a
convicted Death Eater. Do you accept these terms?
KARKAROFF: I do, sir.
MR. CROUCH: What do you wish to present?
KARKAROFF: I have names, sir. Ah- There was a Rosier, Evan Rosier.
MR. CROUCH: Mr. Rosier is dead.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Yeah, he took a piece of me with him though, didn't he?
KARKAROFF: I didn't know.
MR. CROUCH: If that is all the witness has to offer...
KARKAROFF: No! No! No! No! There was Rookwood, he was a spy.
MR. CROUCH: Augustus Rookwood? Of the Department of Mysteries?
KARKAROFF: Ya, ya, the same. He passed information to You-Know-Who from
inside the Ministry itself.
MR. CROUCH: Very well, Counsel will deliberate. In the meantime, you
will be returned to Azkaban.
KARKAROFF: No! Wait! Wait, please, please! I have more. What about
Snape, Severus Snape? DUMBLEDORE: As the counsel is very much aware I have given evidence on
this matter. Severus Snape was indeed a Death Eater, and prior to Lord
Voldemort's downfall turned spy for us at great personal risk. Today,
he's no more a Death Eater than I am.
KARKAROFF: It's a lie! Severus Snape remains faithful to the Dark Lord.
MR. CROUCH: Silence! Unless the witness possesses any genuine name of
consequence, this session is now concluded.
KARKAROFF: Oh, no, no, no, no! I heard about one more.
MR. CROUCH: What's that?
KARKAROFF: The name...
KARKAROFF: I know for a fact this person took part in the capture, and
by means of the Cruciatus Curse, torture, of the auror Frank Longbottom
and his wife!
MR. CROUCH: The name! Give me the wretched name!
KARKAROFF: Barty Crouch!
KARKAROFF: ... Junior.
CROWD: Ah! Ohh!
OTHER: Hold him! Hold him down!
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR: Ah! Get your filthy hands off me, you pathetic
little men. Hello, father.
MR. CROUCH: You are no son of mine.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - night
DUMBLEDORE: Curiosity's not a sin, Harry, but you should exercise
caution. It's a Pensieve. Very useful if, like me, you find your mind a
wee bit stretched. It allows me to see what small things I've already
seen. You see, Harry, I've searched and searched for something, some
small detail, something I might have overlooked, something that would
explain why these terrible things have happened. Every time I get close
to an answer, it slips away. It's maddening.
Scene 22: Dreams and Suspicions.
HARRY: Sir, Mr. Crouch's son, what exactly happened to him?
DUMBLEDORE: He was sent to Azkaban. Destroyed Barty to do it, but he
had no choice. The evidence was overwhelming. Why do you ask?
HARRY: It's just that I- I had a dream about him. It was in the summer,
before school. In the dream, I was in a house, and Voldemort was thereonly
he wasn't quite human- and Wormtail was there, too, and Mr.
Crouch's son.
DUMBLEDORE: Have there been others like this dream?
HARRY: Yes, always the same one. Sir... these dreams- what I see- you
don't think it's actually happening, do you?
DUMBLEDORE: I think it's unwise for you to linger over these dreams,
Harry. I think it's best that you simply... cast them away.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor - night
KARKAROFF: It's a sign, Severus. You know what it means, as well as I.
SNAPE: Potter! What's your hurry? Congratulations. Your performance in
the Black Lake was inspiring. Gillyweed, am I correct?
HARRY: Yes, sir.
SNAPE: Ingenious.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Snape’s storeroom - night SANPE: A rather rare herb, the gillyweed. Not something found in your
every day garden. Nor is this. Know what it is?
HARRY: Bubble juice, sir?
SNAPE: Veritaserum. Three drops of this, and You-Know-Who himself would
spill his darkest secrets. The use of it on a student is, regrettably,
forbidden. However, should you ever steal from my personal stores
again, my hand might just slip over your morning pumpkin juice.
HARRY: I haven't stolen anything.
SNAPE: Don't lie to me. Gillyweed might be innocuous, but boomslang
skin? Lacewing flies? You and your little friends are brewing Polyjuice
potion, and believe me, I'm going to find out why.
Scene 23: The Third Task.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – Maze entrance - daytime
CROWD: (Cheering) Yeah!
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) Silence! Earlier today, Professor Moody placed
the Triwizard Cup deep within the maze. Only he knows its exact
position. Now, as Mr. Diggory...
CROWD: Yeah!
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) ...and Mr. Potter...
CROWD: Yeah!
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) ...are tied for first position, they will be
the first to enter the maze, followed by Mr. Krum...
CROWD: Yeah!
KARKAROFF: Come on! Krum, Krum, Krum...
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified)...and Miss Delacour.
CROWD: Yeah!
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) The first person to touch the Cup will be the
CROWD: Yeah!
DUMBLEDORE: (Amplified) I've instructed the staff to patrol the
perimeter. If, at any point, should a contestant should wish to
withdraw from the task, he or she need only send up red sparks with
their wands. Contestants, gather round... quickly!
DUMBLEDORE: In the maze you'll find no dragons or creatures of the
deep. Instead, you'll face something even more challenging. You see,
people change in the maze. Oh, find the Cup, if you can, but be very
wary. You could just lose yourselves along the way.
DUMBLEDORE: Champions! Prepare yourselves.
CROWD: Yeah!
AMOS DIGGORY: Cedric, good luck! Good boy!
DUMBLEDORE: On the count of three... One...
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Maze
FLEUR: Ah...oh...Aeahhh!
HARRY: Fleur? Fleur! Periculum!
KRUM: Lagrovari!
CEDRIC: Get down! Get down!
KRUM: Lagrovari!
CEDRIC: Expelliarmus!
HARRY: No, don’t- stop! He's bewitched, Cedric.
CEDRIC: Get off me!
HARRY: He's bewitched! HARRY: Yes!
CEDRIC: Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry!
HARRY: Reducto!
CEDRIC: Th- thanks.
HARRY: No problem.
CEDRIC: You know, for a moment there, I thought y- you were gonna let
it get me.
HARRY: For a moment, so did I.
CEDRIC: Some game, huh?
HARRY: Some game.
Scene 24; Flesh, Blood and Bone.
CEDRIC: Go on, take it. You saved me, take it!
HARRY: Together. One, two, three!
CEDRIC: Three!
LOCATION: Riddle House - graveyard – night
HARRY: Yeah, you?
CEDRIC: Where are we?
HARRY: I've been here before!
CEDRIC: It's a Portkey. Harry, the cup is a Portkey.
HARRY: I've been here before, in a dream. Cedric, we have to get back
to the cup. Now!
CEDRIC: What are you talking about?
HARRY: Ah! Arhh! Oh!
CEDRIC: Harry, what is it?
HARRY: Get back to the Cup!
CEDRIC: Who are you? What do you want?
VOLDEMORT: Kill the spare.
WORMTAIL: Avada Kedavra!
HARRY: No! Cedric! Ah! Ah! Ah!
VOLDEMORT: Do it, now!
WORMTAIL: Bone of the father, unwillingly given.
WORMTAIL: Flesh of the servant, willingly sacrificed.
WORMTAIL: Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken.
HARRY: Ah! Arhh!
WORMTAIL: The Dark Lord shall rise again.
HARRY: Arhh! Ahh! Oh! Ah! Ah!
Scene 23: The Death Eaters.
VOLDEMORT: Ah-hah. My wand, Wormtail.
VOLDEMORT: Hold out your arm.
WORMTAIL: Master! Thank you, Master.
VOLDEMORT: The other arm, Wormtail.
VOLDEMORT: Welcome, my friends. Thirteen years it's been, and yet here
you stand before me as though it were only yesterday. I confess
myself... disappointed. Not one of you tried to find me. Crabbe!
Macnair! Goyle! Not even you... Lucius.
LUCIUS MALFOY: My Lord, had I detected any sign, or a whisper, of your
VOLDEMORT: There were signs, my slippery friend, and more than
LUCIUS MALFOY: I assure you, my Lord, I have never renounced the old
ways. The face I have been obliged to present each day since your
absence, ...that was my true mask. WORMTAIL: I returned.
VOLDEMORT: Out of fear, not loyalty. Still, you have proved yourself
useful these past few months, Wormtail.
WORMTAIL: Oh! Thank you, Master. Thank you!
VOLDEMORT: Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a handsome boy.
HARRY: Don't touch him!
VOLDEMORT: Harry! Oh, I'd almost forgotten you were here, standing on
the bones of my father. I'd introduce you, but word has it you're
almost as famous as me these days. ‘The boy who lived.’ How lies have
fed your legend Harry. Shall I reveal what really happened that night
thirteen years ago? Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers? It was
love. You see, when dear, sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only
son, she provided the ultimate protection. I could not touch him. It
was old magic, something I should have foreseen. But, no matter, no
matter. Things have changed. I can touch you... now!
HARRY: Oh! Ow! Arh! Ahh! Ahhh! Ah, ah, ahhhhh!
VOLDEMORT: Ahh! Ha! Astonishing what a few drops of your blood will do,
eh, Harry?
Scene 26: Priori Incantatem.
VOLDEMORT: Pick up your wand, Potter. I said, ‘Pick it up.’ Get up! Get
up! You've been taught how to duel, I presume, yes? First, we bow to
each other. Come on now, Harry, the niceties must be observed.
Dumbledore wouldn’t want you to forget your manners now, would he? I
said, ‘Bow!’...
VOLDEMORT: That's better. And, now... Crucio!
HARRY: Ahhh!
VOLDEMORT: Crucio! Atta boy, Harry. Your parents would be proud;
especially your filthy, Muggle mother.
HARRY: Expelliam... Ahh!
VOLDEMORT: I'm going to kill you, Harry Potter. I'm going to destroy
you. After tonight, no one will ever again question my powers. After
tonight, if they speak of you, they'll speak only of how you...
begged for death. And I, being a merciful Lord, obliged. Get up!
HARRY: Ahh! Oh!
VOLDEMORT: Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter. I want you to
look at me when I kill you. I want to see the lights leave your eyes...
HARRY: Have it your way. Expelliarmus!
VOLDEMORT: Avada Kedavra! Do nothing! He is mine to finish... He's
JAMES POTTER: Harry, when the connection is broken, you must get to the
Portkey. We can ring him for a moment to give you time, but only a
moment. Do you understand?
CEDRIC: Harry, take my body back, will you? Take my body back to my
LILY POTTER: Let go. Sweetheart, you're ready. Let go! Let gooo!
HARRY: Accio!
Scene 27: Veritaserum.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Quidditch Pitch – Maze entrance – night
HARRY: Umph!
AMOS DIGGORY: He did it! Ha, ha!
FLEUR: Ahh-ee!
DUMBLEDORE: Harry! Harry!
HARRY: Ah-huh! No! No!
CORNELIUS FUDGE: For god’s sake, Dumbledore, what’s happened?
HARRY: He's back, he's back! Voldemort's back! Cedric, he asked me to
bring his body back. I couldn't leave him, not there!
DUMBLEDORE: It's alright, Harry, it's alright. He's home. You both are.
FUDGE: Keep everybody in their seats. A boy has just been killed. The
body must be moved, Dumbledore, there are... too many people.
AMOS DIGGORY: Let me through. Let me through! Let me through...
HARRY: Ahh-huh-huh...
AMOS DIGGORY: That's my son! That’s my boy! My boy! Ah-huh-huh...
CHO: Ah-huh...
MAD-EYE MOODY: Come on, get up. Easy. Easy. This is not where you want
to be right now. Come on.
AMOS DIGGORY: No... Noooo! Ahhh!
MAD-EYE MOODY: It’s alright. I’ve got you... I’ve got you. Come on.
Easy now.
AMOS DIGGORY: Ahhh! Whaa-hah! Naaa!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – Quidditch pitch and castle – night
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Moody’s office - night
MAD-EYE MOODY: Are you alright, Potter?
HARRY: (nods)
MAD-EYE MOODY: Does it hurt... that?
HARRY: Not so much now.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Perhaps I'd better take a look at it.
HARRY: The cup was a Portkey. Someone had bewitched it.
MAD-EYE MOODY: What was it like? What was he like?
MAD-EYE MOODY: The Dark Lord.
MAD-EYE MOODY: What was it like, to stand in his presence?
HARRY: I dunno. It was like I'd fallen into one of my dreams, into one
of my nightmares.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Were there others? In the graveyard, were there others?
HARRY: Um...uh... I- I don't... think I said anything about a
graveyard, Professor.
MAD-EYE MOODY: Marvelous creatures, dragons, aren't they? Do you think
that miserable oaf would have led you into the woods if I hadn't
suggested it? Do you think Cedric Diggory would have told you to hold
the egg under the water if I hadn't have told him first, myself? Do you
think Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder, could have provided you
with gillyweed if I hadn't have given him the book that led him
straight to it? Huh? Eh?
HARRY: It was you from the beginning. You put my name in the Goblet of
Fire. You bewitched Krum. But...
MAD-EYE MOODY: ‘But, boo-hoo’. You won because I made it so, Potter.
You ended up in that graveyard tonight because it was meant to be so.
And now the deed is done. The blood that runs through these veins runs
within the Dark Lord. Imagine how he will reward me when he learns that
I have, once and for all, silenced the great Harry Potter.
DUMBLEDORE: Expelliarmus! DUMBLEDORE: Severus...
DUMBLEDORE: Do you know who I am?
MAD-EYE MOODY: Albus Dumbledore.
DUMBLEDORE: Are you Alastor Moody? Are ya?
DUMBLEDORE: Is he in this room? Is he in this room?
DUMBLEDORE: Harry get away from there!
DUMBLEDORE: You alright, Alastor?
ALASTOR: I'm sorry, Albus.
HARRY: That's Moody, but then who's...?
SNAPE: Polyjuice potion.
DUMBLEDORE: Now we know who's been stealing from your stores, Severus.
DUMBLEDORE: We'll get you up in a minute.
DUMBLEDORE: Barty Crouch Junior.
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR: I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.
DUMBLEDORE: Your arm, Harry.
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR: You know what this means, don't you? He's back.
Lord Voldemort has returned.
HARRY: I’m sorry, sir. I couldn’t help it.
DUMBLEDORE: Send an owl to Azkaban. I think they'll find they're
missing a prisoner.
BARTY CROUCH JUNIOR: I'll be welcomed back like a hero.
DUMBLEDORE: Perhaps. Personally, I've never had much time for heroes.
Scene 28: Parting Ways.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall - daytime
DUMBLEDORE: Today we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory
was, as you all know, exceptionally hard working, infinitely fairminded,
and, most importantly, a fierce, fierce friend. Now, I think,
therefore, you have the right to know exactly how he died. You see,
Cedric Diggory was murdered... by Lord Voldemort. The Ministry of Magic
does not wish me to tell you this. But, not to do so, I think, would be
an insult to his memory. Now, the pain we all feel at this dreadful
loss reminds me, and reminds us, that while we may come from different
places and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one. In light
of recent events, the bonds of friendship we’ve made this year will be
more important than ever. Remember that, and Cedric Diggory will not
have died in vain. You remember that, and we'll celebrate a boy who was
kind, and honest, and brave, and true, right to the very end.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory - daytime
DUMBLEDORE: Huh... I never liked these curtains. Set them on fire in my
fourth year; by accident, of course. I put you in terrible danger this
year, Harry. I'm sorry.
HARRY: Professor, when I was in the graveyard, there was a moment...
um... when Voldemort's wand and mine sort of connected.
DUMBLEDORE: Priori Incantatem... You saw your parents that night,
didn't you? They reappeared.
DUMBLEDORE: No spell can reawaken the dead, Harry. I trust you know
that. Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the
choice between what is right, and what is easy. But remember this, you
have friends here. You're not alone. ----------
LOCATION: Hogwarts – courtyard - daytime
KRUM: Hermione, this is for you. Write to me, promise.
OTHER: That’s great!
FLEUR: (kiss) Au revoir, Ron.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – Durmstrang ship – exterior – daytime
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway – daytime
RON: Do you think we'll ever just have a quiet year at Hogwarts?
RON: Well, I didn't think so. Oh, well. What’s life without a few
HERMIONE: Everything's going to change now, isn't it?
HERMIONE: Promise you'll write this summer, both of you.
RON: Well, I won't. You know I won't!
HERMIONE: Harry will, won't you?
HARRY: Yeah, every week.
RON: Ha, ha!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Black Lake – Durmstrang ship – Beauxbatons
Scene 29: End Credits

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
LOCATION: Number Four, Privet Drive
TV WEATHERMAN: … It is hot, and it’s going to get even worse. Temperatures up in the mid-thirties, that’s the midnineties
in Fahrenheit, tomorrow, and maybe up to 100…
LOCATION: Playground in Little Whinging
HARRY : Hey, big D. You beat up another ten-year old?
DUDLEY: This one deserved it.
HARRY: Five against one; very brave.
DUDLEY: Well you’re one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night. At least I’m not afraid of my pillow.
FRIENDS: Heh, heh. Ha, ha, ha!
DUDLEY: “Don’t kill Cedric!” Who’s Cedric, your boyfriend? “He’s going to kill me, Mom!” Where is your mom?
Where is your mom, Potter? She dead? Is she dead!? Is she dead, PotFRIENDS:
Whoa! Ha, ha, ha, ha…ha…ha…ha…Dudley… we’ve got to go…
DUDLEY: What are you doing?
HARRY: I’m not doing anything!
FRIENDS: Come on Dudley! Come on, Dud, let’s go…
LOCATION: Road through Little Whinging
LOCATION: Underpass near park – pouring rain, cold as ice
HARRY: Ah! Dudley, run!
DUDLEY: Ah… ahhh…
HARRY: Ahh… Expecto Patronum!
HARRY: Mrs. Figg!
MRS. FIGG: Don’t put away your wand, Harry, they might come back. Dementors in Little Whinging, whatever’s next?
The whole world’s gone topsy-turvy…
HARRY: I don’t understand, how do you know aboutMRS.
FIGG: Dumbledore asked me to keep an eye on you.
HARRY: Dumbledore? You know Dumbledore?
LOCATION: Privet Drive, Little Whinging, street
MRS. FIGG: Uh-huh. After You-Know-Who killed that poor Diggory boy last year, did you expect him to let you go
wandering around on your own? Good lord, boy, they told me you were intelligent. Now get inside and stay there,
and someone will be in touch soon. Whatever happens, don’t leave the house!
LOCATION: Number Four, Privet Drive - interior
TV WEATHERMAN: It is hot. That’s right hot, everywhere and the sweat is stifling. Surrey’s just burning up…
AUNT PETUNIA: Duddikins, is that you? Duddy… Vernon, come quick!
UNCLE VERNON: Who did this to you, boy?
DUDLEY: (points at Harry)
UNCLE VERNON: Happy, are we, now? Eh? You’ve finally done it. You’ve finally driven him loopy. J-j-just look at him,
Petunia! Our boy has gone yumpy. I’ve reached my limit, do you hear? This is the last I’m going to take of you and your
MoM LETTER: “Dear Mr. Potter, the Ministry has received intelligence that at six twenty-three this evening you
performed the Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle. As a clear violation of the Decree for the Reasonable
Restriction of Underage Sorcery, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Hoping you are well, Mafalda Hopkirk
LOCATION: Outside Number Four, Privet Drive - driveway
AUNT PETUNIA: Oh dear… Ohhh… Oh, dear….
LOCATION: Number Four, Privet Drive - Harry’s bedroom
HARRY: (bam) (hits wall with fist)
HARRY: Sorry, Hedwig.
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams
LOCATION: Number Four, Privet Drive - Harry’s bedroom
TONKS: I can’t believe these Muggles…
MOODY: Tonks, for god sakes… HARRY: Professor Moody, what are you doing here?
MOODY: Rescuing you, of course.
LOCATION: Outside Number Four, Privet Drive – driveway and street
HARRY: But where are we going? The letter said I’ve been expelled from Hogwarts.
MOODY: Well you haven’t been, not yet. Dedalus, you take point…
HARRY: But the letter said…
SHAKLEBOLT: Dumbledore has persuaded the Minister to suspend your expulsion pending a formal hearing.
HARRY: A hearing?
TONKS: Don’t worry, Harry. We’ll explain when we get back to Headquarters.
MOODY: Shhh, not here, Nymphadora.
TONKS: Don’t call me Nymphadora.
MOODY: Stay in formation, everyone. Don’t break ranks if one of us is killed.
LOCATION: Flying to London and over London
LOCATION: No. Twelve, Grimmauld Place – exterior
MOODY: Come on. (tap, tap, tap) In you go, son.
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place – interior
SIRIUS: …Voldemort is getting stronger and stronger by the minute! We have to act now!
HARRY: Mrs. Weasley!
MRS. WEASLEY: Thank heavens you’re alright! Bit peaky? But I’m afraid dinner will have to wait until the meeting’s
MRS. WEASLEY: Uh-uh. No time to explain. Straight upstairs, first door on the left. Yeah!
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - upstairs
KREACHER: ….the scum in her house….What would you say to old Kreacher….oh, the shame…Kreacher is here…
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place – upstairs bedroom
HERMIONE: Harry! Are you all right? We’ve heard them talking about the Dementor attack. You must tell us
RON: Let the man breathe, Hermione.
HERMIONE: And the hearing at the Ministry. It’s just outrageous! I’ve looked it all up, and they just can’t expel you.
It’s completely unfair.
RON: Yeah.
HARRY: There’s a lot of that going around at the moment. So what is this place?
RON: It’s Headquarters.
HERMIONE: Of the Order of the Phoenix. It’s a secret society. Dumbledore formed it back when they first fought
HARRY: Couldn’t have put that into a letter, I suppose. I’ve gone all summer without a scrap of news.
RON: We wanted to write, mate. Really, we did. Only…
HARRY: Only what?
HERMIONE: Only Dumbledore made us promise not to tell you anything.
HARRY: Dumbledore said that? B-but why would he want to keep me in the dark. Maybe I could help. After all, I-I’m the
one who saw Voldemort return, I’m the one who fought him, I’m the one who saw Cedric Diggory get killed…
FRED: Hi Harry, thought we heard your dulcet tones.
GEORGE: Don’t bottle it up, though mate, belt it out.
FRED: Anyway, if you’re all through shouting, do you want to hear something a little more interesting?
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place – stairs – using extendible ear
MRS. WEASLEY: …He’s not James, Sirius!
SIRIUS: He’s not your son.
MRS. WEASLY: He’s as good as. Who else has he got?
SIRIUS: He’s got me.
SNAPE: How touchingly paternal, Black, perhaps Potter will grow up to be a felon just like his godfather.
SIRIUS: You stay out of this, Snivellus.
HARRY: Snape’s part of the Order?
RON: Yeah.
HERMIONE: Crookshanks!
RON: Hermione, I hate your cat.
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - downstairs
MRS. WEASLEY: Well, the meeting’s over, just…Oh! Just because you’re allowed to use magic now does not mean
you have to whip your wand out for every little thing! You hungry, Harry?
ARTHUR: You sure you’re alright, Harry? You gave us quite a turn…
SIRIUS: Harry Potter… HARRY: Sirius!
SIRIUS: Huh-ho!
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - kitchen
ARTHUR: It’s really very peculiar. It seems that your hearing at the ministry is to be before the entire Wizengamot.
HARRY: I don’t understand. What has the Ministry of Magic got against me?
MOODY: Show him. He’ll find out soon enough.
SIRIUS: He’s been attacking Dumbledore, as well. Fudge is using all of his powers, including his influence at the Daily
Prophet, to smear anyone who claims the Dark Lord has returned.
LUPIN: The Minister thinks Dumbledore is after his job.
HARRY: But that’s insane! No one in their right mind would believe that Dumbledore…
LUPIN: Exactly the point – Fudge isn’t in his right mind. It’s been twisted and warped by fear. Now fear makes people do
terrible things, Harry. Now, the last time Voldemort gained power he almost destroyed everything we hold most dear. Now
he’s returned, and I’m afraid the Minister will do almost anything to avoid facing the terrifying truth.
SIRIUS: We think Voldemort wants to build up his army again. Fourteen years ago he had huge numbers at his
command – not just witches and wizards, but all manner of Dark creatures. He’s been recruiting heavily, and we’ve
been attempting to do the same, but gathering followers isn’t the only thing he’s interested in…
SIRIUS: We believe Voldemort may be after something….
MOODY: Sirius…
SIRIUS: …Something he didn’t have last time…
HARRY: You mean, like a weapon?
MRS. WEASLEY: No. That’s enough. He’s just a boy! You say much more and you might as well induct him into the
Order straightaway.
HARRY: Good! I want to join. If Voldemort’s raising an army, then I want to fight!
SRIUS: (winks)
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams - various
LOCATION: London street
LOCATION: London Underground
ARTHUR: Trains, underground!
LOCATION: London Street – red telephone box
ARTHUR: There we are. I’ve never used the visitor’s entrance before. It should be fun. I’ll just get my Muggle
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – entry hall
NEWSPAPER SELLER: Get a Daily Prophet… Dumbledore: is he daft or is he dangerous?
BOB: Morning, Arthur.
ARTHUR: Morning, Bob. Interdepartmental memos. We used to use owls. Mess was unbelievable….
SHACKLEBOLT: (whispers)
ARTHUR: Merlin’s beard, I don’t believe it. Thank you, Kingsley. They’ve changed the time of your hearing.
HARRY : When is it?
ARTHUR: In five minutes.
ELEVATOR SPEAKER: Department of Mysteries
LUCIUS MALFOY: …Minister, I know you’ll do the right thing…
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Yes, but we must…
ARTHUR: Remember, during the hearing, speak only when you are spoken to. Keep calm, you’ve done nothing wrong.
As the Muggles say, “Truth will out!” Yes?
ARTHUR: I’m not allowed in, I’m afraid. Good luck, Harry.
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – court room
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (bangs gavel three times) This is a disciplinary hearing into the offences committed by Harry
James Potter, resident at number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. The interrogator is Cornelius Oswald
Fudge, Minister of -
DUMBLEDORE: -Witness for the Defense, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: You- you got our message that the time and place of the hearing had been changed, did
DUMBLEDORE: I must have missed it, but by a happy mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early. Charges?
CORNELIUS FUDGE: The charges against the accused are as follows: that he did knowingly, and in full
awareness of the illegality of his actions, produce a Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle. Do you
deny producing said Patronus?
HARRY: No, but…
CORNELIUS FUDGE: And are you aware that you are forbidden to use magic outside of school while under the age of
HARRY: Yes, I ju- CORNELIUS FUDGE: Witches and wizards of the WizengamotHARRY:
I was only doing it because of the Dementors!
MADAM BONES: Dementors? In Little WhingingCORNELIUS
FUDGE: Why that’s quite clever! Muggles can’t see Dementors, can they, boy? Highly convenient…
HARRY: I’m not lying! There were two of them, and if I hadn’t they…
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Enough! I’m sorry to interrupt what I’m sure would have been a very well-rehearsed story,
but since you can produce no witnesses of the event…
DUMBLEDORE: Pardon me, Minister, but as it happens, we can…
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – court room - later
MADAM BONES: Please describe the attack. What did they look like?
MRS. FIGG: Well, one of them was very large, and the other rather skinny.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Not the boys, the Dementors.
MRS. FIGG: Oh right, right. Well, big, cloaked, then everything went cold, as though all of the happiness had gone
from the world.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Now look here, Dementors don’t just wander into a Muggle suburb and happen across a
wizard, the- the odds are astronomical, heh, heh…
DUMBLEDORE: I don’t think that anyone believes that the Dementors were there by coincidence, Minister.
UMBRIDGE: Ahem… I’m sure I must have misunderstood you, Professor. The Dementors are, after all, under the
control of the Ministry of Magic. So silly of me. But it sounded for a moment as though you were suggesting that
the Ministry had ordered the attack on this boy…
DUMBLEDORE: That would be disturbing, indeed, Madam Undersecretary, which is why I am sure that the Ministry will
be announcing a full-scale inquiry into why the two Dementors were so very far from Azkaban and why they
mounted an attack without authorization. Of course, there is someone who might be behind the attack… Cornelius, I
implore you to see reason. The evidence that the Dark Lord has returned is incontrovertible.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: He’s not back!
DUMBLEDORE: In the matter of Harry Potter, the law clearly states that magic may be used before Muggles in lifethreatening
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Laws can be changed if necessary, Dumbledore.
DUMBLEDORE: Clearly, it has become the practice to hold a full criminal trial to deal with a simple matter of
under-age magic!
MADAM BONES: Those in favor of conviction…
MADAM BONES: Those in favor of clearing the accused of all charges…
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Cleared of all charges…(bang)
HARRY: Professor?
LOCATION: London street and stairs to train station
SIRIUS: (as dog) (bark)
MOODY: Padfoot, are you barking mad? You could blow the entire operation!
LOCATION: London – empty train station waiting room
SIRIUS: Harry…
HARRY: Sirius, what are you doing here? If someone sees you…
SIRIUS: I had to see you off, didn’t I? What’s life without a little risk?
HARRY: I don’t want to see you get thrown back in Azkaban.
SIRIUS: Oh, don’t worry about me. Anyway, I wanted you to have this… the original Order of the Phoenix. Marlene
McKinnon, she was killed two weeks after this was taken. Voldemort wiped out her entire family. Frank and Alice
HARRY: Neville’s parents.
SIRIUS: They suffered a fate worse than death, if you ask me. It’s been fourteen years, and still a day doesn’t go by I
don’t miss your dad.
HARRY: Do you really think there’s going to be a war, Sirius?
SIRIUS: It feels like it did before… you keep it. Anyway, I suppose you’re the young ones now.
LOCATION: Harry’s dream - Platform nine and three-quarters
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – interior
LOCATION: Hogwarts Express – exterior - countryside
LOCATION: Hogsmeade Station
DRACO: I surprised the Ministry still lets you walk around free, Potter. You better enjoy it while you can. I heard there’s a
cell in Azkaban with your name on it…What’d I tell you… a complete nutter.
HARRY: You stay away from me!
RON: It’s only Malfoy. What’d you expect?
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - Loading carriages for Hogwarts
NEVILLE: Hi, Harry.
HARRY: What is it? RON: What’s what?
HARRY: That, pulling the carriage.
HERMIONE: Nothing’s pulling the carriage, Harry. It’s pulling itself, like always.
LUNA: You’re not going mad. I can see them, too. You’re just as sane as I am.
HERMIONE: Everyone, this is Loony Love-… Luna Lovegood. That’s an interesting necklace.
LUNA: It’s a charm, actually. It keeps away the Nargles. I’m hungry. I hope there’s pudding.
RON: What’s a Nargle?
HARRY: No idea.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Great Hall
DUMBLEDORE: Good evening, children. Now, we have two changes in staffing this year. We are pleased to
welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who’ll be taking Care of Magical Creatures while Professor Hagrid is on
temporary leave. We also wish to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores
Umbridge. I’m sure you’ll all join me in wishing the Professor good luck. Now, as usual, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has
asked me to remind you…
UMBRIDGE: Hem, hem… hee, hee….
HARRY: She was at my hearing, she works for Fudge.
UMBRIDGE: Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome. And how lovely to see all your bright,
happy faces smiling up at me. I’m sure we’re all going to be very good friends.
FRED AND GEORGE: That’s likely.
UMBRIDGE: The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of
vital importance. Although each headmaster has brought something new to this historic school,… progress
for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be
perfected, and prune practices that ought to be prohibited. Hee, hee…
DUMBLEDORE: (clapping)
STUDENTS: (clapping)
DUMBLEDORE: Thank you, Professor Umbridge, that really was most illuminating.
RON: Illuminating? What a load of waffle.
HARRY: What’s it mean?
DUMBLEDORE: …magic is forbidden in the corridors…
HERMIONE: It means the Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
HARRY: Dean, Seamus, good holiday?
DEAN: All right. Better than Seamus’s, anyway.
SEAMUS: Me mum didn’t want me to come back this year.
HARRY: Why not?
SEAMUS: Let me see, uh, because of you. The Daily Prophet’s been saying a lot of thing about you, Harry, and about
Dumbledore as well.
HARRY: What, you mum believes them?
SEAMUS: Well, nobody was there the night Cedric died…
HARRY: Oh, so I guess you should just read the Prophet, like your stupid mother, it’ll tell you everything you want
to know.
SEAMUS: Don’t you dare talk about my mother like that!
HARRY: I’ll take on anyone who calls me a liar.
RON: What’s going on?
SEAMUS: He’s mad, is what’s going on. Do you believe the rubbish he’s coming out with about You-KnowWho?

RON: Yeah, I do. Has anyone else got a problem with Harry?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory
RON: You alright?
HARRY: Fine.
RON: Seamus was bang out of order, mate. But he’ll come through. You’ll see…
HARRY: I said I’m fine, Ron!
RON: Right. I’ll just leave you to your thoughts, then.
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA classroom
UMBRIDGE: Good morning, children. Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations… O.W.L., more commonly known as
“owls”. Study hard, and you will be rewarded. Fail to do so, and the consequences may be… severe. Your previous
instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven, but you will be pleased to know from now on we will be
following a carefully constructed, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic.
HERMIONE: There’s nothing in here about using defensive spells…
UMBRIDGE: Using spells? Ha, ha! Why, I can’t imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom.
RON: We’re not going to use magic?
UMBRIDGE: You’ll be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way.
HARRY: Well, what’s the good of that? If we’re going to be attacked, it’s not going to be “risk-free”.UMBRIDGE: Students will raise their hands to speak in my class. It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical
knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examination which, after all, is what school is all about.
HARRY: And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what’s out there?
UMBRIDGE: There is nothing out there, dear. Who do you imagine wants to attack children, like yourselves?
HARRY: Oh, I don’t know, maybe… Lord Voldemort?
STUDENTS: (murmurs, chuckles)
UMBRIDGE: Now let me make this quite plain. You have been told that a certain Dark wizard is at large once
again. This…is…a…lie!
HARRY: It’s not a lie! I saw him, I fought him!
UMBRIDGE: Detention, Mr. PotterHARRY:
So according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord?
UMBRIDGE: Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident.
HARRY: It was murder! Voldemort killed him – you must know that!
UMBRIDGE: Enough! Enough. See me later, Mr. Potter, in my office. Hee, hee!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Professor Umbridge’s office
HARRY: (knock, knock)
UMBRIDGE: Come in. Good evening, Mr. Potter. Sit. You’re going to be doing some lines for me today, Mr.
Potter. No, not with your quill. You’re going to be using a rather special one of mine. Now, I want you to write “I
must not tell lies.”
HARRY: How many times?
UMBRIDGE: Well, let’s say… as long as it takes for the message to sink in.
HARRY: You haven’t given me any ink.
UMBRIDGE: Oh, you won’t need any ink.
HARRY: Ah…uh! Uh…ah…(hand is being cut)
HARRY: Nothing.
UMBRIDGE: That’s right. Because you know, deep down, that you deserve to be punished, don’t you Mr. Potter? Go on.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
FRED AND GEORGE: Skiving Snackboxes: sweets that make you ill; get you out of class whenever you like; exchange
hours of pleasure for absolute boredom…
RON: I’m not asking you to write all of it for me;
HERMIONE: Oh, please!
RON: …it’s just I’ve been so busy studying for these stupid O.W.L. exams.
HERMIONE: I’ll read and correct them, that’s all.
RON: Hermione, you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. If I’m ever rude to you again…
HERMIONE: I’ll know you’ve gone back to normal. Harry, what’s wrong with your hand?
HARRY: Nothing.
HERMIONE: The other hand. Oh – you’ve got to tell Dumbledore!
HARRY: No – Dumbledore’s got enough on his mind right now. Anyway, I don’t want to give Umbridge the
RON: Bloody hell, Harry, the hag is torturing you! If the parents knew about this…
HARRY: Yeah, well I haven’t got any of those, have I Ronald?
HERMIONE: Ah, Harry, you’ve got to report this. It’s perfectly simple, you justHARRY:
No it’s not! Whatever this is, it’s not simple. You don’t understand.
HERMIONE: Then help us to.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – scenery – watching Thestrals flying over the Dark Forest
HARRY: “Dear Padfoot, I hope you’re all right. It’s starting to get colder here. Winter’s definitely on the way. In spite of
being back at Hogwarts, I feel more alone that ever. I know you, of all people, will understand.”
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark forest – with Thestrals
LUNA: Hello, Harry Potter.
HARRY: Your feet, aren’t they cold?
LUNA: A bit. Unfortunately, all of my shoes have mysteriously disappeared. I think Nargles are behind it.
HARRY: What are they?
LUNA: They’re called Thestrals. They’re quite gentle, really, but people avoid them because they’re a bit…
HARRY: Different. But why can’t the others see them?
LUNA: They can only be seen by people who’ve seen death.
HARRY: So, you’ve known someone who’s died, then?
LUNA: My mum. She was quite an extraordinary witch, but she did like to experiment, and one day one of her
spells went badly wrong. I was nine.
HARRY: I’m sorry.
LUNA: Yes, it was rather horrible. I do feel very sad about it sometimes, but I’ve got Dad. We both believe you, by
the way, that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and you fought him, and the Ministry and the paper are conspiring
against you and Dumbledore…
HARRY: Thanks. Seems you’re about the only ones who do.
LUNA: I don’t think that’s true, but I imagine that’s how he wants you to feel.
HARRY: What do you mean? LUNA: Well, if I were You-Know-Who, I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else, because if it’s just you alone, you’re
not as much of a threat.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Great Hall
HERMIONE: Is that all you do, eat?
RON: Wha- I’m hungry.
HARRY: Can I join you?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – staircase
UMBRIDGE: Hee, hee…
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: I am merely requesting that when it comes to the students that you conform to the
prescribed disciplinary practices!
UMBRIDGE: So silly of me, but it sounds as though you’re questioning my authority in my own classroom, Minerva.
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Not at all, Delores, merely your medieval methods.
UMBRIDGE: I’m sorry, dear, but to question my authority is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister,
himself! I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty.
UMBRIDGE: Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared. Cornelius will want to take immediate action.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entry hallway
FILCH: (bang, bang, bang) (hanging decree)
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (voice from Daily Prophet) …Having already revolutionized the teaching of Defense Against the
Dark Arts, Dolores Umbridge will, as High Inquisitor, will have powers to address the seriously falling standards
at Hogwarts School.”
LOCATION: Divination classroom
UMBRIDGE:…And you’ve been at Hogwarts how long, exactly?
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Hanging decree in the entrance hall
LOCATION: Potions Dungeon
UMBRIDGE: You originally applied for the position of Dark Arts teacher?
UMBRIDGE: But you were unsuccessful?
SNAPE: Obviously.
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Hanging decree in the entrance hall
LOCATION: Divination classroom
UMBRIDGE: Could you please… predict something for me ?
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Hanging decree in the entrance hall
UMBRIDGE: One teeny little prophecy? Pity….
TRELAWNEY: No, wait, wait… I- I think I do see something, yes! I see something dark. You are in grave danger!
LOCATION: Hogwarts - entrance
HARRY: Cho, what’s going on?
CHO: Professor Trelawney…
PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY: Oh….I-… Hogwarts is my home! Y-you can’t do this….
UMBRIDGE: Actually, I can.
UMBRIDGE: Is there something you’d like to say here?
PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh, there are several things I’d like to say…Here, shh, shh.
DUMBLEDORE: Professor McGonagall, might I ask you to escort Sybill back inside, please?
UMBRIDGE: Dumbledore, might I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three
signed by the Minister himself…
DUMBLEDORE: You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to banish
them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster.
UMBRIDGE: For now…
DUMBLEDORE: Don’t you all have studying to do?
HARRY: Professor…Professor? Professor Dumbledore… Professor! Professor Dumbledore!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room HERMIONE: That foul, evil gargoyle! We’re not learning how to defend ourselves. We’re not learning to pass out O.W.L.s.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (radio) …security has been and will remain the Ministry’s top priority. Furthermore, we have
convincing evidence that these disappearances are the work of notorious mass-murderer Sirius Black. Make no mistake,
we will hunt him…
HARRY: Sirius! What are you doing here?
SIRIUS: (in fireplace) Answering your letter. You said you were worried about Umbridge. What’s she doing, training you
to kill half-breeds?
HARRY: Sirius, she’s not training us to do anything at all.
SIRIUS: Well, I’m not surprised. The latest intelligence says that Fudge doesn’t want you trained in combat.
RON: Combat? What’s he think, that we’re forming some sort of wizard army?
SIRIUS: Well, that’s exactly what he thinks. That Dumbledore is assembling his own forces to take on the Ministry.
He’s becoming more paranoid by the minute. The others wouldn’t want me telling you this, Harry, but things aren’t
going at all well with the Order. Fudge is blocking the truth at every turn, and these disappearances are just how it started
before. Voldemort is on the move.
HARRY: Well, what can we do?
SIRIUS: Someone’s coming! I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, bit for now, at least, it looks like you’re on your own.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
HERMIONE: He’s really out there, isn’t he? We’ve got to learn to defend ourselves. And if Umbridge refuses to teach us
how, we need someone who will.
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams
LOCATION: Hogsmeade - street
HARRY: This is mad! Who’d want to be taught by me? I’m a nutter, remember…
RON: Look on the bright side, you can’t be any worse than old toad-face.
HARRY: Thanks, Ron.
RON: I’m with you, mate.
HARRY: So who’s supposed to be meeting us, then?
HERMIONE: Just a couple of people.
LOCAITON: Hogsmeade – The Hog’s Head
RON: Lovely spot.
HERMIONE: It’s safer off of the beaten track.
LOCAITON: Hogsmeade – The Hog’s Head - later
HERMIONE: Um, hi. So, we all know why we’re here. We need a teacher; a proper teacher. One who’s had real
experience in defending against the dark arts.
RON: Why? Because You-Know-Who’s back, you tosh-pot.
HERMIONE: So Dumbledore says.
ZACHARIAS SMITH: So Dumbledore says because he says. The point is, where’s the proof?
?: If Potter could tell us more about how Diggory got killed…
HARRY: I’m not going to talk about Cedric, so if that’s why you’re here, you might as well clear out now. Come on,
Hermione, let’s go, they just think I’m some sort of freak…
LUNA: Is it true that you can produce a Patronus Charm?
HERMIONE: Yes. I’ve seen it.
DEAN: Blimey, Harry, I didn’t know you could do that.
NEVILLE: And he killed a basilisk, with the sword in Dumbledore’s office.
HERMIONE: It’s true.
RON: And third year he fought off about a hundred Dementors at once.
HERMIONE: And last year he fought You-Know-Who in the flesh.
HARRY: Hermione… Look, it all sounds great when you say it like that, but the truth is most of that was just luck. I
didn’t know what I was doing half the time, and I nearly always had help.
HERMIONE: You’re just being modest.
HARRY: No, Hermione, I’m not… Facing this stuff in real life is not like school. In school, if you make a mistake, you can
just try again tomorrow, but out there…when you’re a second away from being murdered, or watching a friend
die right before your eyes… you don’t know what that’s like.
HERMIONE: You’re right, Harry, we don’t. That’s why we need your help, if we’re going to have any chance when
facing… Voldemort.
NIGEL: He’s really back.
LOCATION: Hogsmeade – The Hog’s Head – signing the DA list
LOCATION: walking back to Hogwarts
HARRY: Right, first we need to find a place to practice where Umbridge won’t find out.
GINNY: The Shrieking Shack. HARRY: It’s too small.
GINNY: Harry, what happens if Umbridge does find out?
HERMIONE: Who cares? I mean, it’s kind of exciting, isn’t it, breaking the rules?
RON: Who are you, and what have you done with Hermione Granger?
HERMIONE: Well, anyway, at least we know one good thing that’s come out of today.
HARRY: What’s that?
HERMIONE: Cho couldn’t keep her eyes off you, could she?
HARRY: OK, by later today we need to each come up with a couple of possibilities. We’ve got to make sure wherever it is
LOCATION: Hogwarts – balcony
UMBRIDGE: (whispering to Filch)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entry hallway
FILCH: (bang, bang) (hanging decree)
UMBRIGE: (from decree) All student organizations are henceforth disbanded. Any student…
LOCATION: Hogwarts, near Room of Requirement
GOYLE: Which way you going, Longbottom? Heh, heh…
(Room of Requirement opens for Neville)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Room of Requirement
HERMIONE: You’ve done it, Neville. You’ve found the Room of Requirement.
RON: The what?
HERMIONE: Also known as the Come and Go Room. The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has need
of it, and it addresses the need…
RON: So, say you really needed a toilet…
HERMIONE: Charming, Ronald, but yes. That is the general idea.
HARRY: It’s brilliant. It’s like Hogwarts wants us to fight back.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Room of Requirement – later
NEVILLE: Expelliarmus! …I’m hopeless.
HARRY: You’re- you’re just flourishing your wand too much. Try it like this: Expelliarmus!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – DADA classroom
UMBRIDGE: You will please copy the approved text four times to ensure maximum retention. There will be no need for
HERMIONE: No need to think, more like it.
UMBRIDGE: Wands away!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Room of Requirement
HARRY: Stunning is one of the most useful spells in your arsenal. It’s sort of a wizard’s bread and butter, really. So um,
come on, then Nigel. Give me your best shot.
NIGEL: Stupefy!
HARRY: Good… not bad!
RON: Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.
HERMIONE: Thanks, Ron.
BOYS: Come on, Ron. Come on, Ron. Come on, Ron.
HERMIONE: Stupefy!
I let her do that. It’s good manners, isn’t it? Did it…intentionally.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entry hallway
FILCH: (bang) (hanging decree)
UMBRIDGE: Come on, come up here…(questioning students)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Room of Requirement
?NEVILLE: Expelliarmus!
HARRY: Just keep your concentration…right, a little higher.
Nigel: Ahhh! It’s alright, I’m OK.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – entry hallway
UMBRIDGE: (decree) students who wish to earn extra credit may apply at the High Inquisitor’s office…
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Room of Requirement
HARRY: Working hard is important, but there’s something that matters even more: believing in yourself.
?: Expelliarmus!
HARRY: Think of it this way. Every great wizard in history started out as nothing more than what we are now, students. If
they could do it, why not us?
?: Levicorpus! ?: Stupefy!
?: Expelliarmus!
?: Expelliarmus!
GINNY: Reducto!
?: Expelliarmus!
NEVILLE: Expelliarmus!
HARRY: Fantastic, Neville, well done. So, that’s it for this lesson. Now, we’re not going to be meeting again until after the
DA: Ohh…
HARRY: …so just keep practicing on your own as best you can, and- and well done, everyone. Great, great work!
DA: (clapping)
RON: Well done, mate.
HARRY: Thanks.
HERMIONE: See you in the common room, Harry.
?: Thanks a lot, Harry.
HARRY: Merry Christmas… Merry Christmas… Thank you…Merry Christmas… have a Merry Christmas, Luna…
FRED: We’ve been thinking, Harry, we can always slip Umbridge some Puking Pastilles into her tea…
GEORGE: Or Fever Fudge; they give you these massive, puss-filled boils…
HARRY: That sounds great, guys, would you excuse me?
HARRY: Are you alright? I heard Umbridge gave you a rough time the other day.
CHO: Yeah, I’m OK. Anyway, it’s worth it. It’s just- just learning all this , makes me wonder, well, if he’d known it…
HARRY: Cedric – Cedric did know this stuff. He was really good . It’s just, Voldemort was better.
CHO: You’re a really good teacher, Harry. I’ve never been able to stun anything before… Mistletoe…
HARRY: It’s probably full of Nargles, though.
CHO: What are Nargles?
HARRY: No idea. (kisses her)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
RON: Well, how was it?
HARRY: Wet. Only, she was sort of crying.
RON: That bad at it, eh?
HERMIONE: I’m sure Harry’s kissing was more than satisfactory. Cho spends half of her time crying these days.
RON: You’d think a bit of snogging would cheer her up.
HERMIONE: Don’t you understand how she must be feeling? Well….obviously she’s feeling sad about Cedric,
and therefore confused about liking Harry, and guilty about kissing him, conflicted because Fudge is threatening to
sack her mom from her job at the Ministry, and frightened that she won’t do well on her O.W.L.s because she’s so worried
about everything else.
RON: One person couldn’t feel all that, they’d explode.
HERMIONE: Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon…
HERMIONE: Ha, ha…ha, ha, ha…
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams – Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place
SIRIUS: Voldemort may be after something…something he didn’t have the first time.
LOCATION: Harry’s dreams – Ministry of Magic – Hall of Prophecies
(Arthur Weasley being attacked by giant snake)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor boys’ dormitory
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office
DUMBLEDORE: In the dream, were you standing next to the victim, or looking down at the scene ?
HARRY: Neither, I- I- it was like I – I-….Professor, will you please just tell me what’s happening…
DUMBLEDORE: Everard, Arthur was on guard duty tonight, make sure he’s found by the right people.
DUMBLEDORE: Phineas, you must go to your portrait at Grimmauld Place and tell them that Arthur Weasley is
gravely injured, and his children would be arriving there soon by Portkey.
?: We got him, Albus. It was close, but I think he’ll make it. What’s more, the Dark Lord failed to acquire it.
DUMBLEDORE: Oh, thank heavens…
HARRY: Look at me! What’s happening to me?
SNAPE: You wished to see me, Headmaster?
DUMBLEDORE: Severus, I afraid we can’t wait, not even until the morning. Otherwise, we will be vulnerable.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – spiral staircase
LOCATION: Hogwarts - Snape’s office
SNAPE: It appears that there is a connection between the Dark Lord’s mind and your own. Whether he is aware of
the connection is for the moment unclear. Pray he remains ignorant. HARRY: You mean, if he knows about it then he’ll be able to read my mind.
SNAPE: Read it. Control it. Unhinge it. In the past it was often the Dark Lord’s pleasure to invade the minds of his victims,
creating visions designed to torture them into madness. Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only after
he had them literally begging for death, would he finally… kill them. Used properly, the power of Occulomency will help
shield you from access or influence. In these lessons, I will attempt to penetrate your mind, you will attempt to resist.
Prepare yourself!... Legilimens!
LOCATION: Harry’s memories
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Snape’s office
SNAPE: Concentrate, Potter. Focus!
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place – kitchen – Christmas morning
MRS. WEASLEY: Here we go… Daddy’s back!
WEASLEYS: (clapping)
MRS. WEASLEY: Sit down everybody, sit down…that’s it, now here you go…
FRED: And a nice big box for Ron…
MRS. WEASLEY: The big box boy… Come on, open up – I want to see your faces.
HERMIONE: Just what he wanted, actually.
MRS. WEASLEY: OK, everyone, let’s clear this away…Oh, Harry, Harry – there you are. Happy Christmas! Good to have
you with us!
HARRY: Thank you.
ARTHUR: A Christmas toast – to Mr. Harry Potter, without whom I would not be here. Harry!
SIRIUS: Harry!
LOCATION: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place - stairs
HERMIONE: I can’t understand why you didn’t want to wear it, Ronald.
RON: ‘Cause I look like a bloody idiot, that’s why!
KREACHER: Nasty brat, standing there as bold as brass…Harry Potter, the boy who stopped the Dark Lord…friend
of Mudbloods and blood-traitors alike…if my poor mistress…
SIRIUS: Kreacher! That’s enough of your bile. Away with you!
KREACHER: Of course, Master. Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black.
SIRIUS: Sorry about that. He never was very pleasant, even when I was a boy. Not to me, anyway.
HARRY: Wha- what, you- you grew up here?
SIRIUS: This is my parents’ house. I offered it to Dumbledore as headquarters for the Order- about the only useful
thing I’ve been able to do. This is the Black family tree… my deranged cousin… I hated the lot of them: my
parents, with their pure-blood mania. My mother did that after I ran away. Charming woman. I was sixteen.
HARRY: Where did you go?
SIRIUS: To your dad’s. I was always welcome at the Potter’s. I see him so much in you, Harry. You are so very much
HARRY: I’m not so sure. Sirius, when I was… when I saw Mr. Weasley attacked, I wasn’t just watching. I was the snake.
And afterwards, in Dumbledore’s office, there was a moment when I – I wanted to – to… this connection between me and
Voldemort, what if the reason for it is because I am becoming more like him? I- I just feel so angry, all the time, and what
if, after everything that I’ve been through, something’s gone wrong inside me? What is I’m becoming bad?
SIRIUS: I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person who bad
things have happened to. I understand. The- the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both
light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.
HERMIONE: (knock, knock, knock) Harry, time to go.
SIRIUS: When all of this is over, we’ll be a proper family. You’ll see.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – exterior – entrance
LOCATION: Hogwarts – stairs
CHO: Harry!
HERMIONE: Harry, Hagrid’s back!
HARRY: I’m sorry…
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – exterior
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut - interior
UMBRIDGE: I’ll tell you one last time. I’m ordering you to tell me where you have been.
HAGRID: I told you, I’ve been away for me health.
UMBRIDGE: Your health?
HAGRID: Bit ‘o fresh air, yeh know.
UMBRIDGE: Oh yes. As gamekeeper fresh air must be difficult to come by. If I were you, I shouldn’t get too used to
being back. In fact, mightn’t bother unpacking at all.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut – exterior
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – Hagrid’s hut - interior
HAGRID: This is top secret, right? Dumbledore sent me to parley with the giants.
HERMIONE: You found them?
HAGRID: Well, they’re not that hard to find, to be perfectly honest. They’re big, see. I tried to convince ‘em to join the
cause. But I wasn’t the only one who was trying to win them over.
RON: Death Eaters?
HAGRID: Yeah, tryin’ to persuade ‘em to join You-Know-Who.
HARRY: And, did they?
HAGRID: I gave ’em Dumbledore’s message. S’pose some of them remember he was friendly to ’em… I suppose…
HARRY: And, they did this to you?
HAGRID: Not exactly, no…
FANG: (bark, bark)
HAGRID: Oh, go on, have it then, ya dozy dog.
FANG: (bark, bark…bark)
HAGRID: It’s changin’ out there. Just like last time. There’s a storm comin’, Harry, and we’d all best be ready when she
LOCATION: Azkaban – stormy night
BELLATRIX: Ah – ha-ha-ha-ha!
LOCATION: Daily Prophet
CORNELIUS FUDGE: (from Daily Prophet) we have confirmed there’s been a high-security breakout in the early hours
of yesterday evening, and of course the Muggle Prime Minister has been alerted to this danger. We strongly suspect
that this breakout was engineered by a man with personal experience with escaping from Azkaban, notorious, massmurderer,
Sirius Black, a cousin of escapee Bellatrix Lestrange.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room
HERMIONE: Dumbledore warned Fudge this could happen. He’s going to get us all killed if he can’t face the truth…
SEAMUS: Harry… I ah, I wanted to apologize. Me mum says that the Prophet thing is all done up… so what I’m really
trying to say is that, I believe you.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Room of Requirement
HARRY: Neville….
NEVILLE: Fourteen years ago a Death Eater named Bellatrix Lestrange used the Cruciatus Curse on my parents. She
tortured them for information, but they never gave in. I’m quite proud to be their son, but I’m not sure I’m ready for
everyone to know just yet.
HARRY: We’re going to make them proud, Neville. That’s a promise.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Room of Requirement
HARRY: Make it a powerful memory. The happiest you’ve ever been, and allow it to fill you up. Keep trying, Seamus.
?: Expecto Patronum!
HARRY: A full-bodied Patronus is the most difficult to produce, but the shield form can be equally effective at protecting
from a variety of opponents….Fantastic! Remember, the Patronus will only be effective as long as you stay focused…
Luna… Think of the happiest thing that you can… Good! …this is really advanced stuff, guys, you’re doing really well….
(Boom, boom, boom…boom- crash)
UMBRIDGE: I’ll make short work of it…he, he….
UMBRIDGE: Get them!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Professor Dumbledore’s office
UMBRIDGE: I’ve been watching them for weeks, and see…“Dumbledore’s Army!”
Proof of what I have been telling you right from the beginning! Oh, yes. All your mutterings about You-Know-Who coming
back didn’t fool us for a minute. We saw your lies for what they were: a smoke screen for your bid to seize control of the
DUMBLEDORE: Naturally.
HARRY: No, Professor! He had nothing to do with it. It was me.
DUMBLEDORE: Most noble of you, Harry, to shield me. But as it has been pointed out, the parchment clearly says
“Dumbledore’s Army,” not “Potter’s”. I instructed Harry to form this organization, and I, and I alone, are responsible
for it’s activities.
CORNELIUS FUDGE: Dispatch an owl to the Daily Prophet. If we hurry we can still make the morning edition. Deloris,
Shacklebolt, you will escort Dumbledore to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy and sedition.
DUMBLEDORE: Ahh… I thought we might hit this little snag. You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I’m
going to- what was the phrase? “Come quietly.” Well, I can tell you this, I have no intention of going to Azkaban.
UMBRIDGE: Take him!
FAWKES: (Swoosh)(Poof)
SHACKLEBOLT: Whoa! Well, you may not like it, Minister, but you can ’t deny Dumbledore’s got style.
---------- LOCATION: Hogwarts – entry hall
FILCH: (bang, bang) hanging decree
UMBRIDGE: (decrees) Boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other… Those wishing to join the
Inquisitorial Squad for extra credit should sign up…
LOCTION: Hogwarts – Detention Hall
(Detention for DA)
LOCATION: Hogwarts – hallway outside Detention Hall
CHO: Harry…
RON:…that old hag
HERMIONE: Harry, even Dumbledore didn’t see it coming. It’s not your fault.
RON: Yeah, we talked you into it.
HARRY: Yeah, but I agreed. I’ve worked so hard to help, and all it’s done is to make things worse. But it doesn’t really
matter anymore, ‘cause I don’t want to play anymore, ‘cause all it does it make you want to care too much, and the more
you care the more you have to lose. Maybe it’s just better to…
HERMIONE: to what?
HARRY: To go it alone… Hagrid.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dark Forest
RON: What’d you want to do? Where is he taking us?
HARRY: Hagrid, why can’t you tell us?
HAGRID: I’ve never seen the centaurs so riled up, and they’re dangerous at the best of times. The Ministry restricts
their territory much more, and they’re going to have a full uprising on their hands.
HERMIONE: Hagrid, what’s going on?
HAGRID: Sorry to be so mysterious, you three, I- I wouldn’t be bothering you with it at all with it, but… with Dumbledore
gone, I’ll likely be getting’ the sack any day now. And I just couldn’t leave without telling someone about ‘im…
Grawpy… Down here, yeh great buffoon.
HAGRID: Grawpy! I brought you some company. I couldn’t just leave him because, because he’s my brother!
RON: Blimey!
HAGRID: Well, half-brother, really… but he’s completely harmless, just like I said. A little high-spirited, is all…
HAGRID: Grawpy, that is not polite!
RON: Do something!
HAGRID: Grawpy, you do not grab, do you? That’s your new friend, Hermione. Grawpy!
RON: Umph!
HERMIONE: Grawp! Put…me…down……now!
RON: You alright?
HERMIONE: Fine. He just needs a firm hand, is all.
HARRY: I think you’ve got an admirer.
RON: You just stay away from her, alright?
HAGRID: He gets his own food and all. (ding) It’s company he’ll be needin’, is all. (ding) You will look after ‘im, won’t
you? I’m the only family he’s got.
LOCATION: Harry’s memories
SNAPE: Feeling sentimental?
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Snape’s office
HARRY: That’s private!
SNAPE: Not to me. And not to the Dark Lord if you don’t improve. Every memory he has access to is a weapon he can
use against you, and you won’t last two seconds if he invades your mind. You’re just like your father. Lazy, arrogant –
HARRY: Don’t say a word against my father!
SNAPE: Weak…
HARRY: I’m not weak!
SNAPE: Then prove it! Control your emotions. Discipline your mind. Legilimens!
LOCATION: Harry’s memories
HARRY: Stop it!
SNAPE: Is this what you call control?
HARRY: We’ve been at it for hours. If I could just rest!
SNAPE: The Dark Lord isn’t resting. You and Black are two of a kind. Sentimental children forever whining about how
bitterly unfair your lives have been. Well, it may have escaped your notice, but life isn’t fair. Your blessed father knew that,
in fact he frequently saw to it…
HARRY: My father was a great man. SNAPE: Your father was a swine!
HARRY: Protego!
SNAPE: Legili-
LOCATION: Snape’s memories
JAMES: Come on Moony, Padfoot…Expelliarmus!
CROWD: Snivellus, Snivellus, Snivellus…
JAMES: Who wants to see me take off his pants…
SNAPE: Enough!
SNAPE: Enough! Your lessons are at an end.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor
NIGEL: (Sniff)
Fred: What’s your name?
NIGEL: Nigel.
GEORGE: It’s not as bad as you think, see. It’s fading already, you can hardly see our anymore. And the pain stops after
awhile, and…
UMBRIDGE: He, he… As I told you once before, Mr. Potter, naughty children deserve to be punished.
FRED: You know, George, I’ve always felt our futures lie outside the world of academic achievement.
GEORGE: Fred, I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – classroom – O.W.L. tests
(bang, boom, bang, boom…)
(Umbridge open’s door)
(Fred and George’s fireworks and escape)
FRED: Ready when you are!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – outside entrance
STUDENTS: Yeah! Woo! Yahoo!
LOCATION: Harry’s mind – Ministry of Magic – Hall of Prophecies
VOLDEMORT: I need that prophecy…
SIRIUS: You’ll have to kill me.
VOLDEMORT: Oh I will, but first you will fetch it for me… Crucio!
SIRIUS: Ahhh! Ahhh!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – moving staircases
HARRY: It’s Sirius!
HERMIONE: Are you sure you saw it?
HARRY: It was just like with Mr. Weasley. It was the same place I’ve been seeing for months, only I couldn’t remember
where I’d seen it before. Sirius said Voldemort was after something, something he didn’t have the last time. And it’s in the
Department of Mysteries.
HERMIONE: Listen Harry. What if Voldemort meant for you to see this. What if he’s just trying to get to you?
HARRY: What if he is? I’m just supposed to let him die? Hermione, he’s the only family I’ve got left.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor
HARRY: We’ll have to use the floo network.
HERMIONE: The Ministry’s got them under surveillance.
HARRY: Not all of them.
HARRY: Alohomora!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Umbridge’s office
HARRY: Alert the Order if you can.
RON: Are you mental? We’re going with you!
HARRY: It’s too dangerous!
HERMIONE: Why can’t you get it into your head, we’re in this together?
UMBRIDGE: That you are!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Umbridge’s office - later
DRACO: I caught this one trying to help the Weasley girl…
UMBRIDGE: You were going to Dumbledore, weren’t you?
UMBRIDGE: (slap)
SNAPE: You sent for me, Headmistress? UMBRIDGE: Snape, yes. The time has come for answers, whether they want to give them to me or not. Have you got the
SNAPE: I’m afraid you’ve used up all of my stores interrogating students, the last of it on Miss Chang. Unless you wish
to poison him- and then I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did- I cannot help you.
HARRY: He’s got Padfoot. He- he’s got Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden!
UMBRIDGE: Padfoot? What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What is he talking about, Snape?
SNAPE: I’ve no idea.
UMBRIDGE: Very well, you give me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security, you leave me
with…no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue.
HERMIONE: But it’s illegal!
UMBRIDGE: What Cornelius doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.
HERMIONE: Tell her, Harry!
UMBRIDGE: Tell me what?
HERMIONE: Well, if you won’t tell her where it is, I will.
UMBRIDGE: Where what is?
HERMIONE: Dumbledore’s secret weapon.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – the Dark Forest
UMBRIDGE: Is it very far in?
HERMIONE: It had to be somewhere that students wouldn’t find it accidentally.
HARRY: (whispering) What are you doing?
HERMIONE: (whispering) Improvising.
UMBRIDGE: Well, where is this weapon? There isn’t one, is there? You were trying to trick me. You know, I really hate
children… You have no business here, centaur. This is a Ministry matter. Lower your weapons! I warn you, under the law
of creatures of near-human intelligence… How dare you, filthy half-breeds! Enough! Incarcerous!
HERMIONE: Please! Please, stop it! Please!
UMBRIDGE: Now enough! I will…have…order! Ahhh!
UMBRIDGE: You filthy animal! Ah! Put me down!
UMBRIDGE: Potter, do something! Tell them I mean no harm!
HARRY: I’m sorry, Professor. I must not tell lies.
UMBRIDGE: I am Senior Undersecretary Deloris Jane Umbridge! Let me goooooo!
HERMIONE: Thank you, Grawp.
HARRY: Hermione. Hermione, Sirius!
LOCATION: Hogwarts – grounds, bridge
HERMIONE: How’d you get away?
GINNY: Puking Pastilles. It wasn’t pretty.
RON: Told them I was hungry, and wanted some sweets. Of course they buggered off and ate the whole lot themselves.
HERMIONE: Very clever, Ron.
RON: It’s been known to happen.
NEVILLE: It was brilliant! So, how’re we getting to London?
HARRY: Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate everything that you’ve done, all of you, but- but I’ve got you into enough
trouble as it is.
NEVILLE: Dumbledore’s Army was supposed to be about doing something real, or was that all just words to you?
RON: Maybe you don’t have to do this all by yourself, mate.
HARRY: So, how are we going to get to London?
LUNA: We fly, of course.
LOCATION: Flying on thestrals over Britain
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – entry hall
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – Department of Mysteries
ELEVATOR SPEAKER: Department of Mysteries
HARRY: This is it.
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – Hall of Prophecies
HARRY: Ninety-two, Ninety-three, Ninety-four… Ninety-five. He should be here.
NEVILLE: Harry, it’s got your name on it.
TRELAWNEY: (in Prophecy) “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, and the Dark Lord shall
mark him as his equal, but he will have a power the Dark Lord knows not. Either must die at the hand of the other, for
neither can live while the other survives…”
HARRY: Where’s Sirius?
LUCIUS MALFOY: You know, you really should learn the difference between dreams… and reality. You saw only
what the Dark Lord wanted you to see. Now hand me the Prophecy.
HARRY: If you do anything to them and I’ll break it.
BELLATIX: Ah, ha, ha, ha, he knows how to play! Itty, bitty baby Potter! NEVILLE: Bellatrix Lestrange!
BELLATRIX: Neville Longbottom, is it, how are your parents?
NEVILLE: Fine now they’re about to be avenged!
LUCIUS MALFOY: Let’s everybody just… calm down, shall we? All we want is that Prophecy.
HARRY: Why does Voldemort need me to get it?
BELLATRIX: You filthy Half-blood!
LUCIUS MALFOY: Now, Bellatrix, he’s just curious. Prophecies can only be retrieved by those about whom they are
made, which is lucky for you, Harry. Haven’t you always wondered what was the reason for the connection between you
and the Dark Lord? Why he was unable to kill you when you were just an infant? Don’t you want to know the secret of
your scar? All the answers are there, Potter. All you have to do is give it to me. I can show you everything.
HARRY: I’ve waited fourteen years…
HARRY: I guess it can wait a bit longer…Now!
DA: Stupefy! Expelliarmus!
?: Levicorpus!
NEVILLE: Petrificus Totalis!
LUNA: Well done, Neville.
HARRY: Stupefy!
HERMIONE: Stupefy!
GINNY: Reducto!
HARRY: Get back to the door!
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – outside Hall of Prophecies – drop-off to room with the Veil
RON: Department of Mysteries – got that bit right, didn’t they?
HARRY: The voices… can you tell what they’re saying?
HERMIONE: There aren’t any voices, Harry. Now let’s get out of here.
LUNA: I hear them, too.
HERMIONE: Harry, it’s just an empty archway… please Harry.
HARRY: Get behind me!
LUCIUS MALFOY: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh…Did you actually believe, or were you truly naive enough to think, that
children stood a chance against us? I’ll make this… simple for you, Potter. Give me the Prophecy now, or watch your
friends… die.
NEVILLE: Don’t give it to him, Harry!
SIRIUS: Get away from my godson.
(dueling) (prophecy breaks)
HARRY: Sirius!
SIRIUS: Harry, I want you to take the others and get out of here.
HARRY: What, no! I want to stay with you!
SIRIUS: You’ve done beautifully, Harry; let me take it from here…
SIRIUS: Nice one, James!
BELLATRIX: Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
(falls through the veil)
LOCATION: Ministry of Magic – Floo Network Hall or Entry Hall
BELLATRIX: I killed Sirius Black! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Come and get me!
HARRY: Crucio!
VOLDEMORT: (voice) You’ve got to mean it, Harry. She killed him. She deserves it…You know the spell, Harry.
BELLATRIX: Heh, heh, heh, heh…Do it!
DUMBLEDORE: It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.
VOLDEMORT: By which time I shall be gone, and you… you’ll be dead.
VOLDEMORT: Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
VOLDEMORT (possessing Harry): Ahh…uh…You’ve lost, old man.
HARRY: Ahh! Uh!
VOLDEMORT (possessing Harry): So weak, so vulnerable… look at me…
DUMBLEDORE: Harry, it isn’t how you are alike, it’s how you’re different…
HARRY: Ah! Ugh!...
HARRY: You’re the weak one. And you’ll never know love, or friendship, and I feel sorry for you.
VOLDEMORT: You’re a fool, Harry Potter, and you will lose…everything. CORNELIUS FUDGE: He’s back!
LOCATION: Daily Prophets
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Gryffindor Boys’ dormitory
LOCATION: Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office
DUMBLEDORE: I know how you feel , Harry.
HARRY: No you don’t… It’s my fault.
DUMBLEDORE: No, the fault is mine. I knew it was only a matter of time before Voldemort made the connection
between you. I thought that by distancing myself from you, as I have done all year, he’d be less tempted, and therefore
you might be more protected.
HARRY: The Prophecy said, “Neither one can live while the other one survives.” That means one of us is going to
have to kill the other, yes?
HARRY: Why didn’t you tell me?
DUMBLEDORE: For the same reason you tried to save Sirius. The same reason your friends saved you. After all these
years, after all you’ve suffered, I didn’t want to cause you anymore pain. I cared too much about you.
LOCATION: Hogwarts – corridor
HARRY: How come you’re not at the feast?
LUNA: I’ve lost most of my possessions. All year people have been hiding them.
HARRY: That’s awful.
LUNA: Oh, it was all in good fun, but as it’s the last night, I really do need them back.
HARRY: Do you want any help finding them?
LUNA: I’m sorry about your godfather, Harry.
HARRY: Are you sure you don’t want any help looking?
LUNA: That’s alright. Anyway, my mother always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end… just
not always in the way we expect. I think I’ll go have some pudding.
LOCATION: Path from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade Station
HARRY: I’ve been thinking about something Dumbledore said to me.
HERMIONE: What’s that?
HARRY: That even though we have a fight on our hands, we’ve got one thing that Voldemort doesn’t have.
RON: Yeah?
HARRY: Something worth fighting for.

== oh no BILBO

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ­ Movie Transcript
Warner Bros. Pictures ­ Logo
New Line Cinema ­ Logo
Metro­Goldwyn Mayer ­ Logo
New Line Cinema and Metro­Goldwyn Mayer Pictures present
A Wingnut Films production
The Hobbit
[The scene starts off black.]
[Bilbo:] “My dear Frodo.”
[Bilbo lights a match, then uses it to light a candle. He walks through a hallway in Bag End, carrying the candle.]
[Bilbo:] “You asked me one once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures.
And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it.”
[Bilbo opens a chest. He glances with fascination and recollection at Sting, his sword in its sheath, and reaches
out to touch it. At the last second, he hurriedly restrains himself and pulls out a large red book from the chest
instead. Sitting down at his desk and opening the book, he sees a drawing of his younger self. He picks up the
picture and gazes at it.]
[Bilbo:] “I am old now, Frodo. I’m not the same Hobbit I once was.”
[Bilbo dips his quill in a pot of ink, and poises to write in the book. He begins writing.]
[Bilbo:] “I think it is time for you to know what really happened. It began long ago in a land far away to
the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today.”
1[The camera fades away from Bilbo in his study and begins panning over a map of Middle­earth. We see a city,
Dale, full of humans and dwarves walking happily through markets and bazaars.]
[Bilbo:] “There was the city of Dale. Its markets known far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and
vale. Peaceful, and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in
Middle­earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King under the Mountain, mightiest of the dwarf lords.”
[The camera swoops over the city of Dale and reveals an enormous mountain just behind the city; a massive
gateway has been built into the side of the mountain, flanked by humongous stone statues of dwarfs. We see
Thror and his son Thrain inside the castle, looking out of the battlements and observing their domains. The
camera pans through the city of Erebor, seeing vast chambers and massive, carved statues. Thror sits on his
throne as his son, Thrain approaches him; his grandson, Thorin, stands at his right side.]
[Bilbo:] “Thror ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure
in the lives of his son and grandson. Ahhh, Frodo, Erebor; built deep within the mountain itself, the
beauty of this fortress city was legend.”
[The camera pans over the vast gold quarries within Erebor; dwarves with magnifying lenses sift through piles
of rare jewels; smiths pound metal with mallets. A dwarf quarrying for gold sees a glow in the rock; he peels
away the rock and finds a beautiful, glowing gem, the Arkenstone.]
[Bilbo:] “Its wealth lay in the earth, in precious gems hewed from rock, and in great seams of gold,
running like rivers through stone. The skill of the dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great
beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire. Ever they delved deeper, down into the dark. And
that is where they found it. The heart of the mountain. The Arkenstone. Thror named it the King’s
Jewel. He took it as a sign, a sign that his his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him,
even the great Elvenking, Thranduil.”
[The Arkenstone has been placed in a special pedestal on Thror’s throne; as he sits on his throne, flanked by
his son, grandson, and other officers, Thranduil and his aides approach.]
[Bilbo:] “But the years of peace and plenty were not to last. Slowly, the days turned sour, and the
watchful nights closed in. Thror’s love of gold had grown too fierce. A sickness had begun to grow
within him; it was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.”
[A shadow begins to cover the massive gates of Erebor. Thror walks through his massive rooms full of
treasure, looking consumed with greed. Thorin watches him from a distance, then slowly retreats into a
[Some time later, a paper dragon kite is being flown over Dale, along with other childrens’ kites. Suddenly, a
great wind comes, blowing the trees on the mountainside until the bend and creak. Thorin and Balin, a fellow
dwarf, rush to the battlements and look for any sign of danger.]
[Bilbo:] “The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the north. The pines on
the mountain creaked and cracked in a hot, dry wind.”
2[Thorin:] “Balin, sound the alarm. Call out the guard. Do it now!”
[Balin:] “What is it?”
[Thorin, looking worried, yells to everyone in the halls.]
[Thorin:] “Dragon. Dragon!!!”
[A roar sounds, and torrents of fire rain all over Erebor; Thorin pulls Balin behind a pillar just in time to save him
from being burned.]
[Bilbo:] “It was a fire drake from the north. Smaug had come.”
[The kites from earlier are suddenly burned away. The people in the town of Dale scream in fear and panic as
Smaug destroys their city, setting fire to many buildings and demolishing others. We only see slight glimpses of
Smaug as he swoops about, breathing fire and destroying buildings by smashing into them. A little girl cries as
she watches her doll burn in the street.]
[Bilbo:] “Such wanton death was dealt that day, for this city of men was nothing to Smaug; his eye was
set on another prize. For dragons covet gold, with a dark and fierce desire.”
[Thorin and Thror, along with many other Dwarf soldiers, wait with weapons ready behind the gates of Erebor.]
[Thorin:] “Stand firm!”
[Fire bursts through cracks in the gates as Smaug tries to smash his way in. Smaug soon breaks through the
gate of Erebor and starts killing dwarves left and right, trampling them and burning them. Thorin is nearly
stepped on by the dragon, but he escapes. Thror fearfully runs to his throne and detaches the Arkenstone,
running away with it. As he runs through a doorway, he sees Smaug in front of him; tripping, he drops the
Arkenstone, and it rolls into a massive pile of gold.]
[Thror:] “No!”
[Thorin appears and drags him away.]
[Bilbo:] “Erebor was lost, for a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives.”
[As the dwarves run away from Erebor, they see King Thranduil and his elves approaching the mountain. Thorin
and the others scream to the Elves to help them, but Thranduil, astride his deer, turns away.]
[Thorin:] “Run for your lives! Help us!”
[Bilbo:] “Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon. No help came
from the elves that day, or any day since.”
[Thorin glares in anger at the retreating elves. The remnants of the Dwarf kingdom slowly journey across vast,
swampy lands. Thorin, at the front, stands on a mountaintop as his people come to him.]
3[Bilbo:] “Robbed of their homeland, the dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness, a once mighty
people brought low.”
[Thorin works in a city of men as a smith; he pounds a sword with his mallet with increasing ferocity and anger]
[Bilbo:] “The young dwarf prince took work where he could find it, laboring in the villages of men, but
always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon, the trees like torches blazing bright,
for he had seen dragon fire in the sky, and his city turned to ash, and never forgave, and he never
[The scene fades to Bag End in Hobbiton, where we met Bilbo earlier. Bilbo is in his study, writing in his book.]
[Bilbo:] “That, my dear Frodo, is where I come in. For quite by chance, and the will of a Wizard, fate
decided I would become part of this tale. It began, well, it began as you might expect. In a hole in the
ground, there lived a Hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, full of worms and oozy smells; this was a
Hobbit­hole, and that means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home.”
[Frodo, eating an apple, walks out of Bag End and picks up the mail from the mailbox. He returns inside and
gives the mail to Bilbo. Bilbo, who was laughing while writing in his book, quickly quiets down as Frodo
approaches him.]
[Bilbo:] “Thank you.”
[Frodo picks up the picture of a young Bilbo.]
[Frodo:] “What’s this?”
[Bilbo grabs back the picture.]
[Bilbo:] “That is private. Keep your sticky paws off. It’s not ready yet.”
[Frodo:] “Not ready for what?”
[Bilbo:] “Reading.”
[Frodo picks up and examines some old object of Bilbo’s. Bilbo examines the pile of letters]
[Bilbo:] “What on earth are these?”
[Frodo:] “Replies to the party invitations.”
[Bilbo:] “Oh! Good gracious! Is it today?”
[Frodo:] “They all said they’re coming. Except for the Sackville­Bagginses; they’re demanding you ask
them in person.”
4[Bilbo:] “Are they, indeed? Over my dead body.”
[Frodo:] “They’d probably find that quite agreeable! They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing
with gold.”
[Bilbo:] “It was one small chest, hardly overflowing. And it still smells of troll.”
[Bilbo starts hiding his valuables in chests, jars, vases, and other inconspicuous places.]
[Frodo:] “What on earth are you doing?”
[Bilbo:] “Taking precautions. You know, I caught her making off with the silverware once.”
[Frodo:] “Who?”
[Bilbo:] “Lobelia Sackville­Baggins. She had all my spoons stuffed in her pockets. Hah! Dreadful
woman; make sure you keep an eye on her after I’m ... when I’m ... when I’m...”
[Frodo:] “When you’re...what?”
[Bilbo:] “It’s nothing. Nothing.”
[Bilbo looks at some papers on a table.]
[Frodo:] “You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, Uncle. They think you’re
becoming odd.”
[Bilbo:] “Odd? Hmm.”
[Frodo:] “Unsociable.”
[Bilbo:] “Unsociable? Me? Nonsense. Be a good lad and put that on the gate.”
[Bilbo hands Frodo a sign he’s made; Frodo looks at it dubiously.]
[Going outside, Frodo nails the sign to the gate of Bag End. It says “NO ADMITTANCE EXCEPT ON PARTY
BUSINESS.” Bilbo comes outside and stretches.]
[Frodo:] “You think he’ll come?”
[Bilbo:] “Who?”
[Frodo:] “Gandalf.”
[Bilbo:] “Ahhh. He wouldn’t miss a chance to lit up his whiz­poppers! He’ll give us quite a show, you’ll
[Frodo:] “Alright then, I’m off.”
5[Bilbo:] “Off to where?”
[Frodo:] “East Farthing woods. I’m going to surprise him.”
[Bilbo:] “Well, go on then! You don’t want to be late.”
[As Frodo runs off, the camera pans over the Shire. Bilbo sits on a bench outside his door, smoking his pipe; he
blows out a large smoke ring which floats into the sky.]
[Bilbo:] “He doesn’t approve of being late. Not that I ever was. In those days, I was always on time. I
was entirely respectable. And nothing unexpected ever happened.”
60 years earlier...
[Bilbo’s smoke ring collapses and becomes a smoke moth, as a tall figure walks into the shot. The moth flies
into Bilbo’s face, waking him from his reverie. A younger Bilbo, from 60 years earlier, is sitting on the same
bench, smoking his pipe. He looks up in surprise and sees a hooded figure.]
[Bilbo:] “Good morning.”
[Gandalf:] “What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a
good morning whether I want it or not? Or, perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this
particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?”
[Bilbo:] “All of them at once, I suppose.”
[Gandalf looks slightly disapprovingly at Bilbo; Bilbo is confused and bewildered.]
[Bilbo:] “Can I help you?”
[Gandalf:] “That remains to be seen. I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure.”
[Bilbo:] “An adventure? Now, I don’t imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in
adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner, hm, mm”
[Bilbo gets up and checks his mailbox, grabbing some mail and sorting through it, clucking to himself. He looks
quite uncomfortable because Gandalf is still standing there. Puffing his pipe in vexation, he begins heading back
[Bilbo:] “Good morning.”
[Gandalf:] “To think that I should have lived to be good­morninged by Belladonna Took’s son, as if I
were selling buttons at the door.”
6[Bilbo:] “Beg your pardon?”
[Gandalf:] “You’ve changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins.”
[Bilbo:] “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
[Gandalf:] “Well, you know my name, although you don’t remember I belong to it. I’m Gandalf! And
Gandalf means … me.”
[Bilbo:] “Gandalf...not Gandalf, the wandering Wizard, who made such excellent fireworks! Old Took
used to have them on Midsummer’s Eve. Ha, ha! Well. Hmm, I had no idea you were still in business.”
[Gandalf:] “And where else should I be?”
[Bilbo:] “Ha, ha! Hm, hmm...”
[Bilbo puffs confusedly on his pipe]
[Gandalf:] “Well, I’m pleased to find your remember something about me, even if it’s only my fireworks.
Well that’s decided. It will be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others.”
[Bilbo:] “Inform the who? What? No. No. No! Wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not
today, not­mm. I suggest you try over the Hill or across the Water. Good morning.”
[Bilbo, in frustration, retreats into Bag End, gesturing at Gandalf with his pipe. Once inside, he bolts the door
and leans against it. Hearing a curious noise, he puts his ear close to the door. The noise is from Gandalf
drawing a glowing symbol on Bilbo’s door with his staff. Alarmed, Bilbo looks out his side window, only to find
Gandalf’s eye appear in front of him. He jumps back in fright and hides behind a wall; he looks out another
window and sees Gandalf hurrying away.]
[It is nighttime. In Bag End, Bilbo prepares a dinner of fish; he settles down at his table, tucks a napkin in his
collar, and begins sprinkling salt on his fish. Unbeknownst to him, the the symbol on the door glows, and the
shadow of a person appears on the door. Bilbo, in the middle of squeezing lemon juice on his fish, looks up in
surprise as the doorbell rings. He opens the door and finds a tall, bald dwarf on his doorstep. The dwarf greets
him and bows slightly.]
[Bilbo:] “Ah.”
[Dwalin:] “Dwalin, at your service.”
[Shellshocked, Bilbo lets out a noise like a whimper. Coming to his senses, he quickly ties his robe tighter and
stands taller, although he is still confused.]
[Bilbo:] “Bilbo Baggins, at yours.”
7[Dwalin walks inside without an invitation]
[Bilbo:] “D­do we know each other?”
[Dwalin:] “No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?”
[Bilbo:] “I­is what down where?”
[Dwalin dumps some of his stuff on the ground and thrusts the rest onto Bilbo.]
[Dwalin:] “Supper. He said there’d be food, and lots of it.”
[Bilbo:] “H­He said? Who said?”
[Dwalin sits at Bilbo’s spot on the kitchen table, eating Bilbo’s dinner, while Bilbo sits behind him, confused.
Dwalin eats all the flesh from the fish, then eats the head as well, as Bilbo looks on in disgust.]
[Dwalin:] “Mmmm. … Very good, this. Any more?”
[Bilbo:] “What? Uh, oh, yes, yes
[Dwalin:] “Ah.”
[Bilbo:] “Help yourself.”
[Bilbo brings over a plate of biscuits; he hurriedly hides one behind his back for himself. Dwalin begins stuffing
them in his mouth.]
[Bilbo:] “Mmmm. It’s just that, um, I wasn’t expecting company.”
[The bell rings again, and Bilbo looks up in alarm.]
[Dwalin:] “That’ll be the door.”
[Bilbo opens the door and finds an old, white­haired dwarf waiting and bowing.]
[Balin:] “Balin, at your service.”
[Bilbo:] “Good evening.”
[Balin:] “Yes, yes it is, though I think it might rain later. Am I late?”
[Bilbo:] “Late for what?”
[Balin sees Dwalin, who is trying to get more biscuits from Bilbo’s jar.]
[Balin:] “Oh, ha ha! Evening, brother. Heh, heh.”
8[Dwalin:] “Oh, by my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met.’
[Balin:] “Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us.”
[Laughing, they greet each other amicably. Putting their arms on each other’s shoulders, they smash their
foreheads together. Bilbo looks on in wonder.]
[Bilbo:] “Uh, excuse me; sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah, but the thing is, I’m not entirely sure you’re in
the right house.”
[Ignoring Bilbo, Dwalin and Balin have gone into Bilbo’s pantry, where they are pouring ale and examining the
food. As they talk to each other, Bilbo continues his speech.]
[Dwalin:] “Have you eaten?
[Bilbo:] “It’s not that I don’t like visitors; I­I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to
know them before they come visiting.”
[Dwalin and Balin, not listening to Bilbo, are still rifling through his pantry. ]
[Balin:] “Ah, that looks very nice indeed.”
[Dwalin:] [indistinguishable]
[Balin picks up a lump of cheese.]
[Dwalin:] “What’s this?”
[Balin:] “I don’t know, [indistinguishable] cheese.”
[Bilbo:] “The thing is, um­­”
[Balin:] “It’s gone blue.”
[Dwalin:] “It’s riddled with mold.”
[Dwalin takes the cheese and tosses it out of the pantry, past the still­speaking Bilbo.]
[Bilbo:] “The thing is, um, I, I don’t know either of you, not in the slightest. I don’t mean to be blunt, but
I uh, but I had to speak my mind. I’m sorry.”
[Balin:] [indistinguishable]
[The two dwarves pause and look at Bilbo.]
[Balin:] “Hm. Apology accepted.
[Bilbo:] “Mm!”
9[Balin:] “Ah, now fill it up, brother, don’t stint. I could eat again, if you insist.”
[Balin hands a tankard to Dwalin so that it can be filled with ale. In the background, the doorbell rings again.]
[Bilbo opens it to find two young dwarves. Upon seeing them, Bilbo makes a small noise which sounds like a
[Fili:] “Fili.”
[Kili:] “And Kili.”
[Fili and Kili, together:] “At your service.”
[Kili:] “You must be Mr. Boggins.”
[Bilbo:] “Nope, you can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house.”
[Bilbo tries closing the door, but Kili stops it with his foot.]
[Kili:] “What? Has it been cancelled?”
[Fili:] “No one told us.”
[Bilbo:] “Can­­? No­­nothing’s been cancelled.”
[Kili:] “Well, that’s a relief.”
[The dwarves push their way in and begin unloading their stuff onto Bilbo.]
[Fili:] “Careful with these, I just had ‘em sharpened.”
[Kili:] “It’s nice, this place. D’you you do it yourself?”
[Kili scrapes the mud off his boots on the edge of a chest standing nearby.]
[Bilbo:] “Ah, no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do
[Dwalin:] “Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand.”
[Kili:] “Mister Dwalin.”
[The dwarves laugh.]
[Balin:] “Let’s shove this in the hallway, otherwise we’ll never get everyone in.”
[The dwarves prepare to shift Bilbo’s furniture around to create a meeting/feasting place.]
10[Bilbo:] “Ev­­everyone? How many more are there?”
[Fili or Kili:] “Where do you want this?”
[The doorbell rings very hard and longer than before. Bilbo, in anger, walks quickly toward the door, dumping all
the swords and other equipment in his arms along the way.]
[Bilbo:] “Oh no. No, no! There’s nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There’s far too
many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If­ if­ If this is some clotterd’s idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only
say, it is in very poor taste.”
[Bilbo opens the door, and an entire heap of dwarves, eight to be exact, fall in. Struggling to get up, they grumble
and yell at each other, saying “Get off!”. Gandalf is standing behind them.]
[Bilbo:] “Gandalf.”
[The entire group of dwarves, 12 of them, begins raiding Bilbo’s pantry and taking out all his food. He tries to tell
them to put it back, but they ignore him.]
[Bilbo:] “Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam,
please! ...Excuse me.”
[Bombur walks out of the pantry with three entire wheels of cheese.]
[Bilbo:] “Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn’t it? Have you got a cheese knife?”
[Bofur:] “Cheese knife? He eats it by the block.”
[Oin and Gloin walk through the hall carrying chairs from one of Bilbo’s rooms.]
[Bilbo:] “No, no, that’s Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I’m sorry, you’ll have to take it back please. Take it
back...It’s antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That’s a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank
[Oin:] “I cannot hear what you’re saying!”
[The dwarves continue bringing all of Bilbo’s food and furniture into the dining room. Dori approaches Gandalf
with a tray and some tea.]
[Dori:] “Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?”
[Gandalf:] “Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think.”
[Gandalf walks out of the dining room, trying to avoid the scurrying dwarves. He hits his head on the chandelier,
then he begins counting the dwarves on his fingers.]
[Gandalf:] “Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori.”
11[Bilbo wrestles a bowl of tomatoes away from Nori. Bifur, the dwarf with an axe in his head, approaches Gandalf
and talks to him in Khuzdul (untranslated) and with body motions.]
[Gandalf:] “Yes, you’re quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short.”
[Dwalin:] “He is late, is all. He travelled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come.”
[Dori:] “Mr. Gandalf?
[Gandalf:] “Hmmm?”
[Dori:] “A little glass of red wine, as requested. It’s, eh, got a fruity bouquet.”
[Gandalf:] “Ah, Cheers.”
[Gandalf drinks the tiny cup of wine Dori offers him, then looks sadly at the cup, wanting a little more.]
[Gandalf:] “Mm.”
[The dwarves, sitting in Bilbo’s dining room, have a grand feast with all his food. They are quite rude and messy
about it. Bofur throws some food to his brother, Bombur.]
[Bofur:] “Bombur, catch!”
[Bombur catches the food in his mouth, and everyone cheers. As everyone begins throwing food around, Bilbo
walks away in disgust. He looks at his pantry in shock; it has been entirely cleared of food. Fili walks on top of
the table, carrying several cups of ale and knocking aside the food in his way.]
[Fili:] “Who wants an ale? There you go.”
[Dwalin:] “Let him have another drink!”
[Fili:] “Here you go.”
[Dwalin pours his ale into Oin’s hearing trumpet, and as Oin splutters in anger, everyone else laughs. Oin puts
his hearing trumpet to his mouth and blows the ale out of it, making it squeal. One of the dwarves yells, “On the
count of three!” and the dwarves pound their tankards together. Someone counts, “One!...Two!” Then all the
dwarves go quiet and begin drinking their ale together. They are incredibly messy, as ale falls all over their faces
and runs down their beards. When finished drinking, they begin burping; the youngest, Ori, lets out the biggest
burp. The dwarves laugh. Bilbo looks away in disgust.]
[When the meal finishes, the dwarves leave the table and begin walking about. Bilbo grabs a doily back from
[Bilbo:] “Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!”
12[Bofur:] “But it’s full of holes!”
[Bilbo:] “It’s supposed to look like that, it’s crochet.”
[Bofur:] “Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it.”
[Bilbo:] “Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!”
[Gandalf:] “My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?”
[Bilbo:] “What’s the matter? I’m surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?”
[Gandalf:] “Oh, they’re quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.”
[Nori has a chain of sausages over his shoulder, and Bofur grabs them from him. They play tug­of­war with the
[Bilbo:] “I don’t want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There’s mud trod into the carpet,
they’ve pi­pillaged the pantry. I’m not even going to tell you what they’ve done in the bathroom;
they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing. I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!”
[Ori:] “Excuse me. I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?”
[Fili:] “Here you go, Ori, give it to me.”
[Fili takes the plate from Ori and throws it to Kili, who throws it behind his back to Bifur, who is standing at the
sink in the kitchen. Bifur catches it behind his back, without even looking at it. Kili, Fili, and other dwarves begin
throwing the plates, bowls, and utensils to each other, eventually throwing them to the sink to be washed. As
dishware flies through the air, Gandalf ducks to avoid getting hit.]
[Gandalf:] “Oh!”
[Bilbo:] “Excuse me, that’s my mother’s West Farthing crockery, it’s over a hundred years old!”
[The dwarves at the tablet begin rhythmically drumming on the tablet with utensils and their fists.]
[Bilbo:] “And can­can you not do that? You’ll blunt them!”
[Bofur:] “Ooh, d’hear that, lads? He says we’ll blunt the knives.”
[Kili begins singing and the other dwarves join him, as they continue throwing the dishware]
[The dwarves, singing:]
“Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!
13Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you’ve finished, if any are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”
[Bilbo huffs up in anger, only to find all the dishes stacked neatly and cleanly. The dwarves and Gandalf laugh.
Suddenly, there are three loud knocks on the door, and everyone falls silent.]
[Gandalf:] “He is here.”
[They open the door, and there stands Thorin. He enters Bag End.]
[Thorin:] “Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn’t
have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.”
[Bilbo:] “Mark? There’s no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!”
[Gandalf:] “There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of
our company, Thorin Oakenshield.”
[Thorin:] “So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?”
[Bilbo:] “Pardon me?”
[Thorin:] “Axe or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?”
[Bilbo:] “Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that’s relevant.”
[Thorin:] “Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.”
[The dwarves all laugh, and they walk back to the dining table. As Thorin eats, the rest of them talk to him.]
[Balin:] “What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?”
[Thorin:] “Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms.”
[The dwarves murmur their joy.]
[Dwalin:] “What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?”
[Thorin:] “They will not come.]
14[The dwarves murmur in disappointment.]
[Thorin:] “They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.”
[Further disappointed murmurs.]
[Bilbo:] “You’re going on a quest?”
[Gandalf:] “Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light.”
[Bilbo brings a candle to the table, where Gandalf has spread out a map which was in his pocket.]
[Gandalf:] “Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single
solitary peak.”
[Bilbo­reading the map:] “The Lonely Mountain.”
[Gloin:] “Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time.”
[Oin:] “Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore
return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.”
[Bilbo, hearing “the beast,” looks concerned.]
[Bilbo:] “Uh, What beast?”
[Bofur:] “Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our
age. Airborne fire­breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious
[Bilbo:] “Yes, I know what a dragon is.”
[Ori:] “I’m not afraid! I’m up for it. I’ll give him a taste of the Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie.”
[Several dwarves shout.]
[Dori:] “Sit down!”
[Balin:] “The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen, and
not thirteen of the best, nor brightest.”
[The dwarves start objecting, saying things like, “Hey, who are you calling dim?” “Watch it!”, and “No!”]
[Oin:] “What did he say?”
[Fili:] “We may be few in number, but we’re fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!”
[Kili:] “And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons
15in his time.”
[Gandalf:] “Oh, well, now, uh, I­I­I wouldn’t say that, I­ ­”
[Dori:] “How many, then?”
[Gandalf:] “Uh, what?”
[Dori:] “Well, how many dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!”
[Gandalf:] “Hm.”
[Gandalf embarrassedly starts coughing on his pipe smoke; the dwarves jump to their feet, arguing about the
number of dragons Gandalf has killed. Thorin jumps up in anger and bellows, silencing the rest.]
[Thorin:] “Shazara! [not translated onscreen: Silence!] If we have read these signs, do you not think
others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been
seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps
the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully
ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr! [not translated onscreen:
To arms! To arms!]”
[All the dwarves cheer.]
[Balin:] “You forget: the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain.”
[Gandalf:] “That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.”
[Twiddling his fingers, Gandalf produces a dwarvish key, ornately wrought. Thorin looks at it in wonder.]
[Thorin:] “How came you by this?”
[Gandalf:] “It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now.”
[Gandalf hands the key to Thorin as everyone looks on in wonder.]
[Fili:] “If there is a key, there must be a door.”
[Gandalf points at runes on his map with his pipe.]
[Gandalf:] “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.”
[Kili:] “There’s another way in!”
[Gandalf:] “Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden
somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle­earth who
can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if
we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.”
16[Ori:] “That’s why we need a burglar.”
[Bilbo:] “Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I’d imagine.”
[Gloin:] “And are you?”
[Bilbo:] “Am I what?”
[Oin:] “He said he’s an expert! Hey hey!”
[Several dwarves laugh.]
[Bilbo:] “M­­Me? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not a burglar; I’ve never stolen a thing in my life.”
[Balin:] “I’m afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He’s hardly burglar material.”
[Bilbo nods in agreement.]
[Dwalin:] “Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.”
[Bilbo continues nodding in agreement; the dwarves begin arguing. Gandalf, growing angry, rises to his full
height and casts darkness over the group as starts speaking in his “powerful” voice. The others stop in awe.]
[Gandalf:] “Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is.”
[Gandalf goes back to his normal self.]
[Gandalf:] “Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they
choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but
unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of
this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest,
and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on
[Thorin:] “Very well. We will do it your way.
[Bilbo:] “No, no, no.”
[Thorin:] “Give him the contract.”
[Bilbo:] “Please.”
[Bofur:] “Alright, we’re off!”
[Balin hands Bilbo a long contract.]
[Balin:] “It’s just the usual summary of out­of­pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral
17arrangements, so forth.”
[Bilbo:] “Funeral arrangements?”
[As Bilbo steps back a few feet to read the contract, Thorin leans toward Gandalf and whispers to him.]
[Thorin:] “I cannot guarantee his safety.”
[Gandalf:] “Understood.”
[Thorin:] “Nor will I be responsible for his fate.”
[Gandalf:] “Agreed.”
[Bilbo reads parts of the contract out loud.]
[Bilbo­­reading:] “Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if
any. Seems fair. Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a
consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?”
[Bofur:] “Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.”
[Bilbo looks a little breathless.]
[Bilbo:] “Huh.”
[Balin:] “You all right, laddie?”
[Bilbo bends over, nauseous and pained.]
[Bilbo:] “Uh, yeah...Feel a bit faint.”
[Bofur:] “Think furnace with wings.”
[Bilbo:] “Air, I­­I­­I need air.”
[Bofur:] “Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you’re nothing more than a pile of ash.”
[Bilbo breathes heavily, trying to compose himself as the others stare at him.]
[Bilbo:] “Hmmm. Nope.”
[Bilbo falls on the floor in a faint.]
[Gandalf:] “Ah, very helpful, Bofur.”
18[Bilbo is sitting on his chair, holding a mug and talking to Gandalf.]
[Bilbo:] “I’ll be all right, let me just sit quietly for a moment.”
[Gandalf:] “You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long. Tell me; when did doilies and your mother’s
dishes become so important to you? I remember a young Hobbit who always was running off in search
of elves and the woods, who’d stay out late, come home after dark, trailing mud and twigs and fireflies.
A young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of
the Shire. The world is not in your books and maps; it’s out there.”
[Bilbo:] “I can’t just go running off into the blue. I am a Baggins, of Bag End.”
[Gandalf:] “You are also a Took. Did you know that your great­great­great­great­uncle, Bullroarer
Took, was so large he could ride a real horse?”
[The camera focuses on a portrait of Bullroarer Took on Bilbo’s wall.]
[Bilbo:] “Yes.”
[Gandalf:] “Well he could. In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the goblin ranks. He swung his
club so hard it knocked the Goblin King’s head clean off, and it sailed a hundred yards through the air
and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won, and the game of golf invented at the same
[Bilbo:] “I do believe you made that up.”
[Gandalf:] “Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You’ll have a tale or two to tell of your own
when you come back.”
[Bilbo:] “Can you promise that I will come back?”
[Gandalf:] “No. And if you do, you will not be the same.”
[Bilbo:] “That’s what I thought. Sorry, Gandalf, I can’t sign this. You’ve got the wrong Hobbit.”
[Bilbo walks away down the hall. Gandalf sighs. Balin and Thorin see Bilbo walking away.]
[Balin:] “It appears we have lost our burglar. Probably for the best. The odds were always against us.
After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toy­makers; hardly the stuff of legend.”
[Thorin:] “There are a few warriors amongst us.”
[Balin:] “Old warriors.”
[Thorin:] “I will take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I
called upon them, they came. Loyalty. Honor. A willing heart. I can ask no more than that.”
19[Balin:] “You don’t have to do this. You have a choice. You’ve done honorably by our people. You
have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains, a life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more
than all the gold in Erebor.”
[Thorin holds out the key Gandalf gave him.]
[Thorin:] “From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day when the
dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me.”
[Balin:] “Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done.”
[The dwarves gather in Bilbo’s living room, smoking their pipes by the fire. They all begin humming, and soon
Thorin begins to sing, and the others join him (on the second stanza below). Gandalf listens from nearby; Bilbo
listens from his bedroom.]
[The dwarves, singing:]
“Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To find our long­forgotten gold
The pines were roaring on the height
The winds were moaning in the night
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The trees like torches blazed with light”
[The camera focuses on sparks floating out of Bilbo’s chimney, then the scene fades into the night sky.]
[It is morning. Bilbo wakes up on his bed, and suddenly realizes that his house is very quiet. He walks all around
his house expecting to run into the dwarves; however, there is no one there. The house has been cleaned up
completely from the mess of the party last night, almost as if it had never happened.]
[Bilbo:] “Hello?“
[Bilbo looks a bit lonesome. He sees the Contract sitting on a table; he looks at it, then looks up with a
determined face.]
[Bilbo runs out the door of Bag End and down the path, wearing a travelling pack and holding the contract. He
runs through Hobbiton, jumping over fences and pumpkins in his haste. His neighbors shake their heads at
[Neighbor:] “Hey! Mr. Bilbo! Where are you off to?”
[Bilbo:] “Can’t stop, I’m already late!”
[Neighbor:] “Late for what?”
[Bilbo:] “I’m going on an adventure!”
[The dwarves are riding their ponies, and Gandalf his horse, down a path through a wooded area. A few words
of their conversation are heard, including “waste of time” and “use a hobbit”. Bilbo runs up from behind them.]
[Bilbo:] “Wait! Wait!”
[Some dwarves call “Woah!” and stop their ponies. Bilbo catches up to them and hands Balin the contract.]
[Bilbo:] “I signed it!”
[Balin takes the contract and inspects it with a pocket­glass. He then smiles at Bilbo.]
[Balin:] “Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin
[The dwarves cheer. Thorin doesn’t look too impressed.]
[Thorin:] “Give him a pony.”
[Bilbo:] “No, no, no, no, that­­that won’t be necessary, thank you, but I­­I’m sure I can keep up on foot.
I­­ I­­I’ve done my fair share of walking holidays, you know. I even got as far as Frogmorton
[Bilbo’s speech is cut off as two of the dwarves ride alongside him and pick him up from behind to put him on a
[Bilbo is riding a pony and looking quite terrified. The pony neighs and tosses its head, making him quite
[Oin:] “Come on, Nori, pay up. Go on.”
[Nori tosses a sack of money to Oin; sacks of money begin passing between the dwarves.]
[Oin:] “Hey, hey, hey!”
21[Some of the dwarves laugh.]
[Bilbo:] “What’s that about?”
[Gandalf:] “Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you’d turn up. Most of them bet that you wouldn’t.”
[Bilbo:] “What did you think?”
[Gandalf:] “Hmmm.”
[Gandalf catches a sack of money tossed to him and puts it in his bag.]
[Gandalf:] “My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second.”
[Bilbo sneezes loudly.]
[Bilbo:] “Ohh. All this horse hair, I’m having a reaction.”
[Bilbo searches his pockets for his handkerchief. He is unable to find it, and he looks up in shock.]
[Bilbo:] “No, no, wait, wait, stop! Stop! We have to turn around.”
[The entire company comes to a halt, and the dwarves start objecting and asking what the problem is.]
[Gandalf:] “What on earth is the matter?”
[Bilbo:] “I forgot my handkerchief.”
[Bofur tears a strip of cloth from his clothing and tosses it to Bilbo.]
[Bofur:] “Here! Use this.”
[Bilbo catches the rag and looks at it in disgust. The dwarves laugh and begin to continue their journey.]
[Thorin:] “Move on.”
[Gandalf:] “You’ll have to manage without pocket­handkerchiefs and a good many other things, Bilbo
Baggins, before we reach our journey’s end. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the
Shire, but home is now behind you; the world is ahead.”
[We see the Company travelling through many beautiful areas of Middle­earth, including forest, hills, and plains.]
[The company has camped for the night near the edge of a cliff. As Gloin sleeps, tiny flying insects get sucked
into his mouth every time he inhales, and they are expelled when he exhales. Bilbo watches in disgust, then
finally gets up and walks around. Most of the dwarves are asleep; Gandalf, Fili, and Kili are awake. Bilbo walks
over to his pony and gives her an apple, after checking to see that no one is looking.]
22[Bilbo:] “Hello, girl. That’s a good girl. It’s our little secret, Myrtle; you must tell no one. sh, sh”
[Bilbo hears a scream in the night air and becomes worried. He runs over to Fili and Kili.]
[Bilbo:] “What was that?”
[Kili:] “Orcs.”
[Another scream is heard.]
[Thorin, who was dozing, jerks awake upon hearing the word “Orcs.”]
[Bilbo:] “Orcs?”
[Fili:] “Throat­cutters. There’ll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them.”
[Kili:] “They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just
lots of blood.”
[Bilbo looks away in fright; Fili and Kili look at each other and begin laughing.]
[Thorin:] “You think that’s funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?”
[Kili:] “We didn’t mean anything by it.”
[Thorin:] “No, you didn’t. You know nothing of the world.”
[Thorin walks off to the edge of the cliff and looks out over the valley; Balin walks up to Fili and Kili.]
[Balin:] “Don’t mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took
the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy
had got there first.”
[Flashback of the Battle of Azanulbizar; thousand of dwarves and orcs fight in front of the gates of Moria. We
see Thorin, Thror, Thrain, Balin, and Dwalin fighting fiercely. A massive, pale, orc wipes out many dwarves with
his mace, then engages King Thror.]
[Balin:] “Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs lead by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the
Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the
[Azog, having defeated King Thror, holds up his beheaded head as he roars; he then flings the head, which
bounces and rolls to Thorin’s feet.]
[Thorin, in flashback:] “Nooo!”
[Balin:] “Thrain, Thorin’s father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we
23did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us.”
[In the flashback, the orcs have overpowered the dwarves, and the dwarves flee for their lives.]
[Balin:] “That is when I saw him: a young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc.”
[Thorin faces Azog; Azog swings his mace and knocks away first Thorin’s shield, then his sword. Thorin falls
down an embankment and lands on the ground.]
[Balin:] “He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent…wielding nothing but an oaken
branch as a shield”
[Azog leaps to smash Thorin, but Thorin, grabbing an oaken branch lying on the round, manages to roll away in
time. Azog continues wielding his mace against Thorin, who is still on the ground, but Thorin blocks his mace
with the oaken branch, which he uses as a shield. As Azog swings one last time, Thorin, grabbing a sword lying
nearby, cuts off Azog’s left arm, his mace arm, from below the elbow. Azog clutches the stump of his arm as
he howls in pain.]
[Balin:] “Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken.”
[Azog is rushed into Moria by other orcs; Thorin, yelling “Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!” (not translated onscreen: ‘To
arms! To arms!’), rallies the dwarves to battle. They stop fleeing and return to battle, fighting ferociously. The
dwarves now seem to have the advantage.]
[Balin:] “Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no
feast, no song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived.”
[The battlefield is covered in the corpses of dwarves and orcs; the surviving dwarves weep with one another
over their loss. A younger Balin and Dwalin hug and put their foreheads together as they weep. Balin, still
weeping, looks up and sees Thorin framed in the sunlight, holding his oaken branch.]
[Balin:] “And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King.”
[In the present, Thorin turns away from the view beyond the cliff; the entire Company is awake and standing in
awe, staring at him. Thorin walks between them toward the fire.]
[Bilbo:] “But the pale orc? What happened to him?”
[Thorin:] “He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago.”
[The camera zooms away from the Company’s campsite, and focuses on another cliff across the valley. A
group of Wargs and Orcs is there, spying on the Company. Yazneg, their leader, talks to the rest.]
[Yazneg:] “Send word to the Master. We have found the Dwarf­scum.”
24[The Company rides their ponies through a muddy forest as it rains. They all look cold, wet, and miserable.]
[Dori:] “Here, Mr. Gandalf, can’t you do something about this deluge?”
[Gandalf:] “It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to
change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.”
[Bilbo:] “Are there any?”
[Gandalf:] “What?”
[Bilbo:] “Other wizards?”
[Gandalf:] “There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the
two Blue Wizards; you know, I’ve quite forgotten their names.”
[Bilbo:] “And who is the fifth?”
[Gandalf:] “Well, that would be Radagast, the Brown.”
[Bilbo:] “Is he a great Wizard or is he...more like you?”
[Gandalf looks slightly offended.]
[Gandalf:] “I think he’s a very great wizard, in his own way. He’s a gentle soul who prefers the
company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a
good thing too, for always Evil will look to find a foothold in this world.”
[Radagast runs through a forest. He examines a dying plant.]
[Radagast:] “Not good; not good at all.”
[As Radagast continues running, we see many dead animals lying around. Radagast plucks a mushroom and
puts it in his bag. He feels and tastes the sap of a tree which appears to be infected; he grows more and more
worried. He whistles, and his bird appears. Radagast lifts his hat, and the bird and its mate land in their nest,
which is on Radagast’s head. Radagast gasps and runs over to a hedgehog lying on the floor; it appears to be
dying. He cradles it.]
[Radagast:] “Oh no! Sebastian! Good gracious.”
[Running through the forest, Radagast brings Sebastian to his home, Rhosgobel. There, he attempts to cure
the hedgehog using various medicinal and magical techniques, to no avail. The hedgehog’s family surround it,
and Radagast tells them to move.]
[Radagast:] “Move back! Give him some air, for goodness sake!”
25[Radagast continues his treatments, but they don’t work. The hedgehog writhes in pain.]
[Radagast:] “I don’t understand why it’s not working; it’s not as if it’s witchcraft...”
[A strange look comes over his face, and he speaks in a different, deeper voice than before.]
[Radagast:] “Witchcraft. But it is. A dark and powerful magic.”
[Hearing a noise, Radagast looks up and sees several giant spiders crawling up the side of his house.
Radagast hurriedly braces his door shut with a bench. The hedgehog suddenly croaks, gasping for air, then
seemingly expires. Radagast seems to be about to cry; however, the house starts creaking with the sound of
the spiders crawling over the roof. Radagast runs over to his staff and pulls out the blue stone embedded at the
top. As all the small rodents and other animals in his house flee, Radagast cradles Sebastian and whispers a
spell, while holding the blue stone to the hedgehog’s muzzle.]
[Radagast:] “Lerya laman naiquentallo” [not translated onscreen: Free the animal from the curse]. “Sí
a hlare ómaquettar” [not translated onscreen: Now hear words of my voice] “Na coilerya en­vinyanta”
[not translated onscreen: Be its life renewed]. Sí a hlare ómaquettar. Na coilerya en­vinyanta.”
[The spiders begin to break through the thatched roof. Radagast goes into a trance­like state, and his spell
grows more and more powerful, as darkness falls over the house. A black, inky shadow is slowly extracted
from the hedgehog and into the stone. Suddenly, the hedgehog gasps for air and wakes up, and light returns to
the area; the spiders crawl off the house. Running outside, Radagast sees spider webs all around his house,
and he sees the giant spiders crawling off into the forest.]
[Radagast:] “Where on this good earth did those foul creatures come from?”
[His bird flies to him, and he converses with it.]
[Radagast:] “The old fortress? Show me.”
[Radagast rides through the forest on a sleigh pulled by several large rabbits. As he proceeds, the forest
become dark and gloomy, covered in cobwebs. An old, ruined fortress is seen in the distance.]
[The Company arrives at an old, abandoned farmhouse that is in ruins.]
[Thorin:] “We’ll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.”
[Gandalf:] “A farmer and his family used to live here.”
[Thorin:] “Oin, Gloin.”
[Gloin:] “Aye?”
[Thorin:] “Get a fire going.”
26[Gloin:] “Right you are.”
[Gandalf:] “I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley.”
[Thorin:] “I have told you already, I will not go near that place.”
[Gandalf:] “Why not? The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice.”
[Thorin:] “I do not need their advice.”
[Gandalf:] “We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us.”
[Thorin:] “Help? A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria,
desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very
people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father.”
[Gandalf:] “You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.”
[Thorin:] “I did not know that they were yours to keep.”
[Gandalf stomps off angrily, leaving the Company.]
[Bilbo:] “Everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?”
[Gandalf:] “To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.”
[Bilbo:] “Who’s that?”
[Gandalf:] “Myself, Mr. Baggins! I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day.”
[Thorin:] “Come on, Bombur, we’re hungry.”
[Bilbo, to Balin:] “Is he coming back?”
[Balin looks unsure.]
[It is nighttime; Bombur has prepared a dinner of soup, and the dwarves are eating it.]
[Bilbo:] “He’s been a long time.”
[Bofur:] “Who?”
[Bilbo:] “Gandalf.”
[Bofur:] “He’s a wizard! He does as he chooses. Here, do us a favor: take this to the lads.”
27[Bofur hands Bilbo two bowls of soup to take to Fili and Kili; Bilbo leaves. Bombur tries to take more soup.]
[Bofur:] “Stop it, you’ve had plenty.”
[Bilbo goes out in the dark to where Fili and Kili are watching the ponies. They are staring out into the dark and
don’t take the soup from Bilbo when he hands it to them.]
[Bilbo:] “What’s the matter?”
[Kili:] “We’re supposed to be looking out for the ponies.”
[Fili:] “Only we’ve encountered a slight problem.”
[Kili:] “We had sixteen.”
[Fili:] “Now there’s fourteen.”
[They all examine the group of ponies.]
[Kili:] “Daisy and Bungo are missing.”
[Bilbo:] “Well, that’s not good. That is not good at all. Shouldn’t we tell Thorin?”
[Fili:] “Uhh, no. Let’s not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it.”
[Bilbo looks around and sees some trees recently uprooted and laying on the ground.]
[Bilbo:] “Well, uh...look, some­­something big uprooted these trees.”
[Kili:] “That was our thinking.”
[Bilbo:] “Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous.”
[Fili:] “Hey! There’s a light. Over here! Stay down.”
[As the three of them quietly run through the forest toward the light Fili has seen, and they hide behind a log
when they realize that it is a fire. Harsh laughter sounds from near the fire.]
[Bilbo:] “What is it?”
[Kili:] “Trolls.”
[Fili and Kili run toward the fire; Bilbo starts to follow them, then returns to grab the two bowls of soup he left on
the log. He then continues following them. Bilbo hides behind a tree and sees a massive mountain troll walking
toward the fire, carrying a pony under each arm.]
[Bilbo:] “He’s got Myrtle and Minty! I think they’re going to eat them, we have to do something.”
28[Kili:] “Yes; you should. Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you’re so small.”
[Bilbo:] “N­­n­­no­­”
[Kili:] “They’ll never see you.”
[Bilbo:] “No, no, no...”
[Kili:] “It’s perfectly safe! We’ll be right behind you.”
[Fili:] “If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl.”
[Fili and Kili push Bilbo toward the fire. He begins whispering Fili’s instructions to himself, trying to remember
them, but gets mixed up.]
[Bilbo:] “Twice like a barn owl, twice like a brown­­once like a brown? Are you sure this is a good
[Bilbo turns around, but Fili and Kili are already out of sight. The three trolls, Tom, Bert, and William, sit around a
fire on which a cauldron of something is cooking. Tom is the troll who brought the ponies. William has on a dirty
vest. Bert is the cook and is wearing an apron.]
[Bert:] “Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don’t look like mutton again tomorrow.”
[Tom:] “Quit yer’ griping. These ain’t sheep. These is West Nags!”
[William:] “Oh, I don’t like `orse. I never `ave. Not enough fat on them.”
[Bert:] “Well, it’s better than the leathery old farmer. All skin and bone, he was. I’m still picking bits of
him out of me teeth.”
[William sneezes into the pot they have boiling over a fire.]
[Bert:] “Oh, that’s lovely, that is; a floater.”
[Tom:] “Oh, might improve the flavor!”
[William:] “Ah! There’s more where that came from.”
[He begins to sneeze more, but Bert grabs him by the nose. Bilbo, unseen, gets behind them.]
[Bert:] “Oh no you don’t.”
[Bert throws William down.]
[William:] “Ow! Ow! Ow!”
[Bert:] “Sit down.”
29[William sneezes again, this time into a handkerchief he pulls out from behind him. He sniffs for a long time.
Bilbo, reaching the pen in which the ponies are held, attempts to untie the ropes. He hides as William turns
towards him.]
[William:] “I hope you’re gonna gut these nags. I don’t like the stinky parts.”
[Bert hits William with his ladle, and William squeals in pain.]
[Bert:] “I said sit down!”
[Tom:] “I’m starving! Are we `aving horse tonight or what?”
[Bert:] “Shut your cakehole. You’ll eat what I give ya’.”
[As William pulls out his handkerchief, Bilbo sees that he’s wearing a long knife in his belt. Bilbo, unable to untie
the ropes restraining the ponies, attempts to get the knife from the troll.]
[Tom:] “How come ‘e’s the cook? Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken.”
[William:] “Except the chicken.”
[Tom:] “That tastes like fish!”
[Bert:] “I’m just saying, a little appreciation would be nice. ‘Thank you very much, Bert,’ ‘Lovely stew,
Bert’; how hard is that? Hmm, it just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung.”
[William picks up a mug of drink, but Tom gets mad at him.]
[Bert:] “There, that’s my grog!”
[William:] “Uhh, uhh, sorry.”
[Bert hits William with his ladle again, knocking him down. He gets back up. Bert tastes the soup in his ladle.]
[Bert:] “Ooh, that is beautifully balanced, that is.”
[Bert lets Tom taste some of the soup in the ladle; Tom gulps it down.]
[Bert:] “Wrap your [indistinguishable] around that, mate. Eh? Good, innit? Heh, heh, heh. That’s why
I’m the cook.”
[Bilbo gets behind William and tries to reach for the knife, but William stand up and scratches his bottom. Bilbo
is disgusted.]
[Tom:] “Me guts are grumbling, I’ve got to snaffle something. Flesh I need, flesh!”
[Wiilliam, about to sneeze, reaches behind him for his handkerchief, but accidentally grabs Bilbo instead, and
30sneezes all over him. He then realizes that he’s not holding any ordinary booger.]
[William:] “Argh!!! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what’s come out of me ‘ooter! It’s got arms and legs and
[The other trolls gather around to look.]
[Tom:] “What is it?”
[William:] “I don’t know, but I don’t like the way it wriggles around!”
[William shakes Bilbo, covered in snot, off the napkin and onto the ground.]
[Tom:] “What are you then? An oversized squirrel?”
[Bilbo:] “I’m a burglar­­ uhh, Hobbit.”
[William:] “A Burgla­Hobbit?”
[Tom:] “Can we cook `im?
[William:] “We can try!”
[William tries to grab Bilbo, but he dodges, only to be cornered by Bert.]
[Bert:] “He wouldn’t make more than a mouthful, not when he’s skinned and boned!”
[Tom:] “Perhaps there’s more Burglar­Hobbits around these parts. Might be enough for a pie.”
[Bert:] “Grab him!”
[William:] “It’s too quick!”
[As the trolls try to catch Bilbo, he runs around trying to dodge them. Bert accidentally hits William with his ladle
while trying to hit Bilbo. Bilbo is eventually caught by the legs by Tom, and held upside down in the air.]
[Tom:] “Come here, you little... Gotcha! Are there any more of you little fellas `iding where you
[Bilbo:] “Nope.”
[William:] “He’s lying.”
[Bilbo:] “No I’m not!”
[William:] “Hold his toes over the fire. Make him squeal.”
[Kili suddenly runs out of the bushes and cuts William in the leg, making him howl and fall down.]
31[Kili:] “Drop him!”
[Tom:] “You what?”
[Kili:] “I said, drop him.”
[Tom throws Bilbo at Kili; Bilbo lands on Kili, knocking them both down. The rest of the Company charges out of
the bushes yelling and brandishing their weapons. They begin fighting the trolls, hacking, slashing, and
hammering their legs. As the dwarves fight, Bilbo grabs William’s knife and cuts the ropes, freeing the ponies.
Tom, seeing this, grabs Bilbo. The dwarves stop fighting when they see the trolls holding Bilbo by the arms and
[Kili:] “Bilbo!”
[Thorin:] “No!”
[Tom:] “Lay down your arms, or we’ll rip his off.”
[Thorin looks at Bilbo in frustration, then plants his sword in the ground. The others drop their swords and
weapons as well.]
[The trolls have tied several dwarves (Dwalin, Bofur, Dori, Ori and Nori) onto a spit and are roasting them over a
fire; the rest (Thorin, Kili, Gloin, Bombur, Balin and Oin), and Bilbo, are tied up in sacks nearby.]
[William:] “Don’t bother cooking them. Let’s just sit on them and squash them into jelly.”
[Bert:] “They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage.”
[Dori:] “Is this really necessary?”
[William:] “Ooh, that does sound quite nice.”
[Oin:] “Untie us, you monsters!”
[Gloin:] “Take on someone your own size!”
[The dwarves on the spit and in the bags are all making noises and talking in fear.]
[Tom:] “Never mind the seasoning; we ain’t got all night! Dawn ain’t far away, so let’s get a move on. I
don’t fancy being turned to stone.”
[Bilbo, hearing what Tom said, has an idea.]
[Bilbo:] “Wait! You are making a terrible mistake.”
[Dori:] “You can’t reason with them, they’re half­wits!”
32[Bofur:] “Half­wits? What does that make us?”
[Bilbo manages to stand up, although still tied up in a sack. He faces the trolls.]
[Bilbo:] “Uh, I meant with the, uh, with, uh, with the seasoning.”
[Bert:] “What about the seasoning?”
[Bilbo:] “Well have you smelt them? You’re going to need something stronger than sage before you
plate this lot up.”
[The dwarves yell at Bilbo, calling him a traitor. The ones in sacks kick him.]
[Tom:] “What do you know about cooking dwarf?”
[Bert:] “Shut up, and let the, uh, flurgaburburrahobbit talk.”
[Bilbo:] “Uh, th­­the secret to cooking dwarf is, um­­”
[Bert:] “Yes? Come on.
[Bilbo:] “It’s, uh­­”
[Bert:] “Tell us the secret.”
[Bilbo:] “Ye­­yes, I’m telling you, the secret is … to skin them first!”
[Bert:] “Tom, get me the filleting knife.”
[Gloin:] “If I get you, you little­­”
[Dwalin:] “I won’t forget that!”
[Tom:] “What a load of rubbish! I’ve eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all.”
[Bilbo sees Gandalf slipping behind some trees nearby.]
[William:] “`e’s right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy.”
[William grabs Bombur, who is in a sack, and dangles him upside down over his mouth, about to eat him.]
[Bilbo:] “Not­­not that one, he­­he’s infected!”
[Tom:] “You what?”
[Bilbo:] “Yeah, He’s got worms in his … tubes.”
33[William drops Bombur back into the pile of Dwarves in disgust.]
[Bilbo:] “In­­in fact they all have, they’re in­­infested with parasites. It’s a terrible business; I wouldn’t
risk it, I really wouldn’t.”
[Oin:] “Parasites, did he say parasites?”
[Kili:] “We don’t have parasites! You have parasites!”
[Gloin:] “What are you talking about, laddie?”
[The rest of the dwarves chime in about how they don’t have parasites and how Bilbo is a fool. Bilbo rolls his
eyes as the dwarves mess up his plan. Thorin, understand Bilbo’s plan, kicks the others. They then understand
and go along with it. All the dwarves begin proclaiming about how they’re “riddled” with parasites.]
[Oin:] “I’ve got parasites as big as my arm.”
[Kili:] “Mine are the biggest parasites, I’ve got huge parasites!”
[Nori:] “We’re riddled.”
[Ori:] “Yes, I’m riddled.”
[Dori:] “Yes we are. Badly!”
[Tom:] “What would you have us do, then, let ‘em all go?”
[Bilbo:] “Well...”
[Tom:] “You think I don’t know what you’re up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!”
[Bilbo:] “Ferret?”
[Bert:] “Fools?”
[Gandalf appears on top of a large rock above the clearing.]
[Gandalf:] “The dawn will take you all!”
[Bert:] “Who’s that?”
[Tom:] “No idea.”
[William:] “Can we eat `im too?”
[Gandalf strikes the rock with his staff, splitting it in half, allowing the sunlight behind it to pour into the clearing.
When the sunlight touches the trolls’ skin, they begin turning into stone amidst loud screams and howls of pain.
Within seconds, there are three stone statues of trolls in the clearing. All the dwarves cheer for Gandalf. Of
34course, the dwarves on the spit, including Dwalin, still look uncomfortable.]
[Dwalin:] “Oh, get your foot out of my back!”
[It is morning; the dwarves have been freed from the spit and from the sacks. Gandalf walks to one of the troll
statues and thumps it with his staff, with a pleased smile on his face.]
[Thorin, to Gandalf:] “Where did you go to, if I may ask?”
[Gandalf:] “To look ahead.”
[Thorin:] “What brought you back?”
[Gandalf:] “Looking behind. Nasty business. Still, they are all in one piece.”
[Thorin:] “No thanks to your burglar.”
[Gandalf:] “He had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you thought of that.”
[Thorin looks repentant. Gandalf and Thorin examine the statues of the trolls.]
[Gandalf:] “They must have come down from the Ettenmoors.”
[Thorin:] “Since when do mountain trolls venture this far south?”
[Gandalf:] “Oh, not for an age, not since a darker power ruled these lands.”
[Gandalf and Thorin look meaningfully at each other.]
[Gandalf:] “They could not have moved in daylight.”
[Thorin:] “There must be a cave nearby.”
[The company finds a large cave nearby, and they enter it. It is full of treasure the trolls have been hoarding.]
[Nori:] “Oh, what’s that stench?!”
[Gandalf:] “It’s a troll hoard. Be careful what you touch.”
[As they enter the cave, many of the dwarves cough and retch at the pungence. Inside, they find piles of gold
coins and other treasure in caskets.]
[Bofur:] “Seems a shame just to leave it lyin’ around. Anyone could take it.”
35[Gloin:] “Agreed. Nori, get a shovel.”
[While exploring, Thorin finds two swords covered in cobwebs. Gandalf approaches him.]
[Thorin:] “These swords were not made by any troll.”
[Thorin hands one sword to Gandalf and keeps the other one.]
[Gandalf:] “Nor were they made by any smith among men.”
[Gandalf draws the sword in his hand out of its sheath a few inches.]
[Gandalf:] “These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age.”
[Realizing that they are Elven swords, Thorin starts to put his away in disgust.]
[Gandalf:] “You could not wish for a finer blade.”
[Reluctantly, Thorin holds on to the sword. He draws it out of its sheath a few inches as well.]
[Some of the dwarves fill a chest with treasure, then bury it in a hole in the ground. Dwalin looks on in disgust.]
[Gloin:] “We’re makin’ a long term deposit.”
[Thorin:] “Let’s get out of this foul place. Come on, let’s go. Bofur! Gloin! Nori!”
[On his way out, Gandalf steps on something metallic. Brushing aside the leaves beneath him with his staff, he
finds another sword. Gandalf exits the cave and heads over to where Bilbo is sitting. He hands Bilbo the sword
he just found.]
[Gandalf:] “Bilbo”.
[Bilbo:] “Hmm?”
[Gandalf:] “Here. This is about your size.”
[Bilbo:] “I can’t take this.”
[Gandalf:] “The blade is of Elvish make which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are
[Bilbo:] “I have never used a sword in my life.”
[Gandalf:] “And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: true courage is about knowing
not when to take a life, but when to spare one.”
[Thorin:] “Something’s coming!”
[Bilbo:] “Gandalf­”
36[Gandalf:] “Stay together! Hurry now. Arm yourselves.”
[Bilbo slowly draws his sword and looks at it. He then follows the others, who have run off into the woods.]
[Radagast rides at full speed through the forest on his rabbit­drawn sled. He pulls up short by the Company.]
[Radagast:] “Thieves! Fire! Murder!”
[Gandalf:] “Radagast! Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?”
[Radagast:] “I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong.”
[Gandalf:] “Yes?”
[Radagast opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it. He opens his mouth again, but closes it again. He has
forgotten what he was going to say.]
[Radagast:] “Oh, just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I’ve lost it. It was, it was right
there, on the tip of my tongue.”
[He curls up his tongue, and looks surprised.]
[Radagast:] “Oh, it’s not a thought at all; it’s a silly old...”
[Gandalf pulls a stick insect out of Radagast’s mouth.]
[Radagast:] “­stick insect!”
[The dwarves and Bilbo look flustered. Radagast and Gandalf go off a few paces and speak privately.]
[Radagast:] “The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf. A darkness has fallen over it. Nothing grows any more,
at least nothing good. The air is foul with decay. But worst are the webs.”
[Gandalf:] “Webs? What do you mean?”
[Radagast:] “Spiders, Gandalf. Giant ones. Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant, or I am not a Wizard. I
followed their trail. They came from Dol Guldur.”
[Gandalf:] “Dol Guldur? But the old fortress is abandoned.”
[Radagast:] “No, Gandalf, it is not.”
[Flashback to when Radagast explored the old fortress when he chased after the spiders which attacked
[Radagast crosses a stone bridge and enters a dark, ruined fortress, his staff at the ready.]
37[Radagast, narrating:] “A dark power dwells there, such as I have never felt before. It is the shadow of
an ancient horror.”
[As Radagast walks through the seemingly abandoned fortress, a statue behind him slowly clenches its fingers
around the hilt of its sword.]
[Radagast, narrating:] “One that can summon the spirits of the dead.”
[The spirit of a king, possibly the Witch­king of Angmar, attacks Radagast, but he fends it off with his staff. As
the spirit disappears with a screech, it drops its blade.]
[Radagast, narrating:] “I saw him, Gandalf. From out of the darkness, a Necromancer has come.”
[Radagast sees a black shadow take the form of a man, and it whispers a dangerous­sounding speech.
Radagast flees from the castle, pursued by bats. He calls to his rabbits which are waiting with the sled.]
[Radagast:] “Quick! Quickly! Run! Wait for me!”
[The rabbits start running, and Radagast has to run hard to catch up with and jump onto his sled. He races
through the forest with the bats behind him, dodging tree trunks and hitting the bats with his staff.]
[In the present, Radagast “wakes up” from his flashback, and realizes that he has gotten very excited.]
[Radagast:] “I’m sorry.”
[Gandalf:] “Try a bit of Old Toby. It’ll help settle your nerves.”
[Gandalf cleans his pipe with his beard, then offers it to Radagast. Radagast breathes in the smoke.]
[Gandalf:] “And out.”
[Radagast, with his eyes crossed and a blissful look on his face, blows out the smoke, then stays in a
trance­like state for a few seconds.]
[Gandalf:] “Now, a Necromancer. Are you sure?”
[Radagast pulls out a cloth­wrapped package and hands it to Gandalf. Gandalf unties it and opens it; upon
seeing its contents, which the camera doesn’t see, he looks concerned.]
[Radagast:] “That is not from the world of the living.”
[Suddenly, a howl is heard in the distance.]
[Bilbo:] “Was that a wolf? Are there­­are there wolves out there?”
[Bofur:] “Wolves? No, that is not a wolf.”
38[From behind a nearby crag, a Warg appears; it leaps into the midst of the Company, knocking down one of the
dwarves. Thorin strikes and kills it using Orcrist. Another Warg attacks from the other side; Kili shoots it with
an arrow, bringing it down. However, it gets back up, only to be killed by Dwalin.]
[Thorin:] “Warg­Scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind.”
[Bilbo:] “Orc pack?”
[Gandalf:] “Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?”
[Thorin:] “No one.”
[Gandalf:] “Who did you tell?”
[Thorin:] “No one, I swear. What in Durin’s name is going on?”
[Gandalf:]“You are being hunted.”
[Dwalin:] “We have to get out of here.”
[Ori:] “We can’t! We have no ponies; they bolted.”
[Radagast:] “I’ll draw them off.”
[Gandalf:] “These are Gundabad Wargs; they will outrun you.”
[Radagast:] “These are Rhosgobel Rabbits; I’d like to see them try.”
[Yazneg, the orc leader of the Warg Riders, and his Wargs are searching through the forest for the Company;
suddenly, Radagast and his rabbits shoot out of the forest, and the Wargs start chasing him.]
[Radagast:] “Come and get me! Ha ha!”
[Gandalf watches from behind a rock as Radagast and the Wargs disappear in the distance.]
[Gandalf:] “Come on!”
[The Company rushes across a rocky plain. In the distance, Radagast is being chased by the Wargs. One of
them crashes while trying to catch him. As the Company runs across the plain, they see the Wargs not too far
from them, so they hide behind the rocks.]
[Gandalf:] “Stay together.”
[Thorin:] “Move!”
39[As the Company runs, Radagast drives his sled beneath an overhanging projection of rock; he ducks, but the
Orc on the Warg behind him gets knocked off.]
[As the chase continues, Thorin stops behind a rock so that he is not seen by the Wargs. Ori starts to run out of
the cover.]
[Thorin:] “Ori, no! Come back!”
[Gandalf:] “Come on! Quick!”
[As the dwarves continue running, Thorin turns to Gandalf.]
[Thorin:] “Where are you leading us?”
[Gandalf doesn’t answer. As the Warg scouts chase Radagast, one of them stops and scents the air. The
dwarves take cover behind an outcropping of rock. The scout and his Warg appear on top of the outcropping,
scenting the air. Thorin looks at Kili and nods; readying an arrow, Kili quickly steps out and shoots the Warg.
The Warg and the orc on it fall near the dwarves, and the dwarves kill them. The sounds of their fight carry quite
far; the other Wargs and Orcs stop chasing Radagast as they hear roars and screams from behind the rocks.]
[Yazneg:] “The Dwarf­scum are over there! After them!”
[The Warg scouts howl as they stop pursuing Radagast and begin pursuing the Company.]
[Gandalf:] “Move. Run!”
[The company runs through a grassy plain; Wargs begin to surround them from all sides.]
[Gloin:] “There they are!”
[Gandalf:] “This way! Quickly!”
[They run for a while longer, then halt in a clearing as they see Wargs on all sides.]
[Kili:] “There’s more coming!”
[Thorin:] “Kili! Shoot them!”
[Looking around, Gandalf sees a large rock; he runs toward it and disappears.]
[Fili:] “We’re surrounded!
[Kili begins shooting at the Warg and the Warg­riders, killing some of them.]
[Kili:] “Where is Gandalf?”
[Dwalin:] “He has abandoned us!”
[The dwarves gather close to each other near the rock Gandalf disappeared by. As Yazneg and his Warg
40approach, Ori shoots a rock at Yazneg with his slingshot, to no effect. Thorin pulls out his sword.]
[Thorin:] “Hold your ground!”
[Gandalf pops up from a crack in the rock.]
[Gandalf:] “This way, you fools!”
[Thorin:] “Come on, move! Quickly, all of you! Go, go, go!”
[As the Wargs approach, the dwarves and Bilbo slide into the large crack in the rock, sliding into a cave. Thorin
kills a Warg that gets too close. Kili shoots another.]
[Gandalf:] “Nine, ten”
[Thorin:] “Kili! Run!”
[Thorin and Kili jump into the crack last. Just as Yazneg and his Wargs reach the crack, an Elvish horn sounds,
and a group of mounted Elves rush into the fray, shooting and spearing the Wargs and Orcs. The Company
listens to the conflict from inside the crack. One of the orcs, shot by an arrow, falls into the cave. Thorin plucks
out the arrow and examines its make.]
[Thorin:] “Elves.”
[There is a pathway at the end of the cave, leading away.]
[Dwalin:] “I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?”
[Bofur:] “Follow it, of course!”
[Gandalf:] “I think that would be wise.”
[The Company begins following the path. It is quite narrow, and it is a crack between two tall cliffs. At times, the
dwarves have difficulty going through. The pathway eventually opens out into an open area; there is a valley
below, and in that valley is the city of Rivendell.]
[Gandalf:] “The Valley of Imraldis. In the Common Tongue, it’s known by a another name.”
[Bilbo:] “Rivendell.”
[Gandalf:] “Here lies the last Homely House east of the sea.”
[Thorin:] “This was your plan all along, to seek refuge with our enemy.”
[Gandalf:] “You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill­will to be found in this valley
is that which you bring yourself.”
[Thorin:] “You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us.”
41[Gandalf:] “Of course they will. But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be
successful, this will need to be handled with tact and respect and no small degree of charm. Which is
why you will leave the talking to me.”
[The Company walks across a bridge and enters Rivendell. A few elves are seen strolling about. Bilbo gazes in
awe at the beauty of the place. The dwarves look uneasy.]
[A dark­haired elf walks down a flight of stairs and greets them.]
[Lindir:] “Mithrandir.”
[Gandalf:] “Ah, Lindir!”
[As Lindir and Gandalf greet each other, the dwarves murmur amongst themselves in distrust. Thorin whispers
to Dwalin.]
[Thorin:] “Stay sharp.”
[Lindir]: “Lastannem i athrannedh i Vruinen.” [subtitle: We heard you had crossed into the Valley.]
[Gandalf:] “I must speak with Lord Elrond.”
[Lindir:] “My lord Elrond is not here.”
[Gandalf:] “Not here? Where is he?”
[Suddenly, the Elvish horns from earlier are heard again. The Company turns around and they see a group of
armed horsemen approaching along the bridge at a rapid rate.]
[Thorin:] “Ifridî bekâr!” [translated: Ready weapons!’] “Hold ranks!”
[The dwarves bunch up together into a tight circle with their weapons pointed outward; the mounted Elves arrive
and ride in circles around the dwarves. Eventually, they stop, and one elf, Elrond, separates himself from the
[Elrond:] “Gandalf.”
[Gandalf bows gracefully.]
[Gandalf:] “Lord Elrond. Mellonnen! Mo evínedh?” [subtitle: My friend! Where have you been?]
[Elrond:] “Farannem ‘lamhoth i udul o charad. Dagannem rim na Iant Vedui.” [subtitle: We’ve been
hunting a pack of Orcs that came up from the South. We slew a number near the Hidden Pass.]
[Elrond dismounts from his horse, then he and Gandalf hug.]
[Elrond:] “Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them
[He holds up an Orc sword and shows it to everyone, then hands it to Lindir.]
[Gandalf:] “Ah, that may have been us.”
[Thorin steps forward, and Elrond looks upon him with recognition]
[Elrond:] “Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain.”
[Thorin:] “I do not believe we have met.”
[Elrond:] “You have your grandfather’s bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain.”
[Thorin:] “Indeed; he made no mention of you.”
[Ignoring this insult, Elrond turns to the dwarves and speaks in Elvish (Sindarin). The dwarves don’t understand
what he is saying.]
[Elrond:] “Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin.” [no subtitles; translation is:
Light the fires, bring forth the wine. We must feed our guests.]
[Gloin:] “What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?”
[The dwarves grow bellicose and grip their weapons uneasily. Gandalf speaks exasperatedly.]
[Gandalf:] “No, master Gloin, he’s offering you food.”
[The dwarves quickly discuss this amongst themselves.]
[Gloin:] “Ah well, in that case, lead on.”
[The dwarves are sitting around tables in the Elven court, eating. However, they are not very appreciative of the
Elves’ vegetables.]
[Dori:] “Try it. Just a mouthful.”
[Ori:] “I don’t like green food.”
[Dwalin looks through a bowl of greens.]
[Dwalin:] “Where’s the meat?”
[Oin holds up a vegetable with his knife and looks at in disgust.]
[Ori:] “Have they got any chips?”
43[An Elf maiden plays a harp in the background. Elrond and Gandalf walk through the halls of Rivendell.]
[Gandalf:] “Kind of you to invite us. I'm not really dressed for dinner.”
[Elrond:] “Well, you never are.”
[They both laugh, and they arrive at the courtyard where the dwarves are eating. An elf maiden plays a flute;
Oin, not liking the sound, stuffs a napkin in his hearing trumpet, and looks happy that he can no longer hear the
[Still at the feast, Elrond examines the swords Gandalf and Thorin found in the trolls’ hoard. He looks at Orcrist
[Elrond:] “This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver. A famous blade, forged by the High Elves of the West,
my kin. May it serve you well.”
[He hands Orcrist back to Thorin, who accepts it with a nod. Elrond then examines Glamdring.]
[Elrond:] “And this is Glamdring, the Foe­hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were
made for the goblin wars of the First Age...”
[Elrond’s voice fades on the soundtrack, as Bilbo pulls out his sword and looks at it.]
[Balin:] “I wouldn’t bother, laddie. Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war.”
[Bilbo:] “What are you saying, my sword hasn’t seen battle?”
[Balin:] “I’m not actually sure it is a sword; more of a letter opener, really.”
[Elrond:] “How did you come by these?”
[Gandalf:] “We found them in a troll hoard on the Great East Road, shortly before we were ambushed
by orcs.”
[Elrond:] “And what were you doing on the Great East Road?”
[No one answers; Thorin looks perturbed.]
[It is night. Gandalf, Elrond, Thorin, Balin, and Bilbo are standing in a hall in Rivendell.]
[Thorin:] “Our business is no concern of elves.”
[Gandalf:] “For goodness sake, Thorin, show him the map.”
44[Thorin:] “It is the legacy of my people; it is mine to protect, as are its secrets.”
[Gandalf:] “Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves. Your pride will be your downfall. You stand
here in the presence of one of the few in Middle­earth who can read that map. Show it to Lord
[Thorin thinks quietly for a few seconds, with everyone looking at him. He begins to hand the map to Elrond, and
Balin tries to stop him.]
[Balin:] “Thorin, no!”
[Thorin brushes Balin aside and hands Elrond the map. Elrond looks at it.]
[Elrond:] “Erebor. What is your interest in this map?”
[Thorin is about to speak, but Gandalf interrupts him.]
[Gandalf:] “It’s mainly academic. As you know, this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text. You
still read Ancient Dwarvish, do you not?”
[Elrond walks a little bit away, looking at the map. As the moonlight hits the map, Elrond realizes something.]
[Elrond:] “Cirth Ithil.”
[Gandalf:] “Moon runes. Of course. An easy thing to miss.”
[Elrond:] “Well in this case, that is true; moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the
same shape and season as the day on which they were written.”
[Thorin:] “Can you read them?”
[Elrond leads them all to an open area outside, on the side of a cliff, with waterfalls all around. The moon is
behind some clouds. They walk toward a large crystalline table.]
[Elrond:] “These runes were written on a Midsummer’s Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly two
hundred years ago. It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell. Fate is with you, Thorin
Oakenshield; the same moon shines upon us tonight.”
[As they look up, the clouds covering the moon float away, and rays of moonlight hits the crystalline table,
causing light to flow through the map which has been laid on the table. Ancient runes become visible on the
map, and Elrond translates them out loud.]
[Elrond:] “Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of
Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.”
[Bilbo:] “Durin’s Day?”
45[Gandalf:] “It is the start of the dwarves’ new year, when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of
winter appear in the sky together.”
[Thorin:] “This is ill news. Summer is passing. Durin’s Day will soon be upon us.”
[Balin:] “We still have time.”
[Bilbo:] “Time? For what?”
[Balin:] “To find the entrance. We have to be standing at exactly the right spot at exactly the right
time. Then, and only then, can the door be opened.”
[Elrond:] “So this is your purpose, to enter the Mountain.”
[Thorin:] “What of it?”
[Elrond:] “There are some who would not deem it wise.”
[Thorin takes back the map gruffly.]
[Gandalf:] “Who do you mean?”
[Elrond:] “You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle­earth.”
[As Elrond walks away, Gandalf turns slowly, thinking deeply.]
[It is late at night. Wargs howl. Yazneg and his Warg Scouts and Wargs step into the ruin on Weathertop,
where many other Wargs and Orcs are gathered. A large, white Warg growls at him. Behind the White Warg is
a tall, pale Orc, facing away. It is Azog.]
[Yazneg:] “Khozdayin… Dorguz… zuranimid.” [subtitle: The Dwarves, Master... we lost them.] “Shugi
golgai gelnakhanishim­­” [subtitle: Ambushed by Elvish filth, we were­­]
[Azog:] “Sha nargiz ob­hakhtil…” [subtitle: I don’t want excuses...] “Nargiz khobdi Rani Khozdil!”
[subtitle: I want the head of the Dwarf King!]
[Azog turns around and approaches Yazneg. His left arm, which Thorin Oakenshield cut off long ago during the
battle of Azanulbizar, has been replaced with a metal arm and claw.]
[Yazneg:] “Murganish dum…Turim hag shad.” [subtitle: We were outnumbered...there was nothing we
could do.] “Zorzor go­kairaz obguraniz.” [subtitle: I barely escaped with my life.]
[Azog:] “Ki go­kairag baganig.” [subtitle: Far better you had paid with it.]
[Azog strokes Yazneg’s head with his right hand, then grabs and lifts Yazneg by the throat with his metal left
hand. With a roar, Azog throws him against the pillars to the side. Wargs attack Yazneg, killing him and eating
46him. Yazneg’s fellow Rider quakes in fear at the sight; however, the White Warg and Azog are unfazed.]
[Azog:] “Khozd­shrakhun gud sha kilyash­zag.” [subtitle: The Dwarf­scum will show themselves soon
enough.] “Zidgar obod tung nash ru khobdud!” [subtitle: Send out word, there is a price on their
[The rest of the Orcs leap on their Wargs; they all run off from Weathertop to do Azog’s will.]
[Back in Rivendell, the Dwarves are having a late­night party in their quarters. They roast sausages over a fire
made by burning the Elvish furniture. Bofur, seeing a heavy Bombur sitting on a bench and eating a large bowl
of food, looks at his sausage thoughtfully.]
[Bofur:] “Bombur!”
[As Bombur looks up, Bofur throws him the sausage. Bombur catches it; the weight of the sausage is just too
much for the bench, and the bench breaks; Bombur, shrieking, falls to the floor, along with all his food. The
dwarves laugh uproariously.]
[Gandalf and Elrond walk up a flight of stairs and into a pavilion.]
[Gandalf:] “With or without our help, these dwarves will march on the mountain. They are determined
to reclaim their homeland. I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he’s answerable to anyone.
Nor for that matter am I.”
[Elrond:] “It is not me you must answer to.”
[Gandalf looks and sees a tall, beautiful, female Elf standing framed against the moonlight. She slowly turns
around. It is Galadriel.]
[Gandalf:] “Lady Galadriel.”
[Galadriel:] “Mithrandir. It has been a long time.”
[Gandalf:] “Nae nin gwistant infanneth, mal ú­eichia i Chíril Lorien.” [subtitle: ‘Age may have changed
me, but not so the Lady of Lorien.]
[Galadriel smiles.]
[Gandalf:] “I had no idea Lord Elrond had sent for you.”
[A voice sounds out of the darkness.]
[Saruman:] “He didn’t. I did.”
[Gandalf turns and sees Saruman the White; he bows to him.]
47[Gandalf:] “Saruman.”
[Saruman:] “You’ve been busy of late, my friend.”
[The White Council, composed of Saruman, Elrond, Galadriel, and Gandalf, are in the pavilion. Gandalf and
Saruman sit at a table; Elrond and Galadriel stand or walk about. Dawn is slowly breaking.]
[Saruman:] “Tell me, Gandalf, did you think these plans and schemes of yours would go unnoticed?”
[Gandalf:] “Unnoticed? No, I’m simply doing what I feel to be right.”
[Galadriel:] “The dragon has long been on your mind.”
[Gandalf:] “This is true, my lady. Smaug owes allegiance to no one. But if he should side with the
enemy, a dragon could be used to terrible effect.”
[Saruman:] “What enemy? Gandalf, the enemy is defeated. Sauron is vanquished. He can never regain
his full strength.”
[Elrond:] “Gandalf, for four hundred years, we have lived in peace. A hard­won, watchful peace.”
[Gandalf:] “Are we? Are we at peace? Trolls have come down from the mountains. They are raiding
villages, destroying farms. Orcs have attacked us on the road.”
[Elrond:] “Hardly a prelude to war.”
[Saruman:] “Always you must meddle, looking for trouble where none exists.”
[Galadriel:] “Let him speak.”
[Gandalf:] “There is something at work beyond the evil of Smaug. Something far more powerful. We
can remain blind, but it will not be ignoring us, that I can promise you. A sickness lies over the
Greenwood. The woodsmen who live there now call it ‘Mirkwood’. and they say...”
[Saruman:] “Well, don’t stop now. Tell us about the woodsmen say.”
[Gandalf:] “They speak of a Necromancer living in Dol Guldur, a sorcerer who can summon the dead.”
[Saruman:] “That’s absurd. No such power exists in the world. This...Necromancer is nothing more
than a mortal man. A conjurer dabbling in black magic.”
[Gandalf:] “And so I thought too. But, Radagast has seen­­”
[Saruman:] “Radagast? Do not speak to me about Radagast the Brown. He is a foolish fellow.”
[Gandalf:] “Well, he’s odd, I grant you. He lives a solitary life.”
48[Saruman:] “It’s not that. It’s his excessive consumption of mushrooms. They’ve addled his brain and
yellowed his teeth. I warned him, it is unbefitting of the Istari to be wander in the woods...”
[Saruman’s voice fades away as Galadriel focuses on Gandalf, and speaks to him in his mind.]
[Galadriel, telepathically:] “You carry something. It came to you from Radagast. He found it in Dol
[Gandalf, telepathically:] “Yes.”
[Galadriel, telepathically:] “Show me.”
[Gandalf lifts Radagast’s package, which he had in his lap, and places it on the table. It lets out a dull thud.]
[Saruman:] “…or I’d think I was talking to myself…”
[Elrond:] “What is that?”
[Galadriel:] “A relic of Mordor.”
[Elrond, who was reaching out to unwrap the package, draws his hand back. He then reaches for it again and
opens it, revealing the sword Radagast took from the spirit in Dol Guldur. The White Council members look
upon it in shock.]
[Elrond:] “A Morgul blade.”
[Galadriel:] “Made for the Witch­king of Angmar, and buried with him. When Angmar fell, men of the
North took his body and all that he possessed and sealed it within the High­Fells of Rhudaur. Deep
within the rock they buried them, in a tomb so dark it would never come to light.”
[Elrond:] “This is not possible. A powerful spells lies upon those tombs; they cannot be opened.”
[Saruman:] “What proof do we have this weapon came from Angmar’s grave?”
[Gandalf:] “I have none.”
[Saruman:] “Because there is none. Let us examine what we know. A single Orc pack has dared to
cross the Bruinen. A dagger from a bygone age has been found. And a human sorcerer, who calls
himself the Necromancer, has taken up residence in a ruined fortress. It’s not so very much, after all.
The question of this dwarvish company, however, troubles me deeply. I’m not convinced, Gandalf; I do
not feel I can condone such a quest. If they’d come to me, I might have spared them this
disappointment. I do not pretend to understand your reasons for raising their hopes…”
[Saruman’s voice fades away as Galadriel again focuses on Gandalf. She speaks to him telepathically.]
[Galadriel, telepathically:] “They are leaving.”
49[Gandalf, telepathically:] “Yes.”
[Galadriel, telepathically:] “You knew.”
[Saruman:] “…I am afraid there is nothing else for it.”
[Gandalf nods. Galadriel smiles slightly. A step is heard, and they all turn around; Lindir come up and bows.]
[Lindir:] “My Lord Elrond; the dwarves, they’ve gone.”
[It is morning; the dwarves are hiking along the path away from Rivendell.]
[Thorin:] “Be on your guard; we’re about to step over the edge of the Wild. Balin, you know these
paths; lead on.”
[Balin:] “Aye.”
[Bilbo turns around and looks back at Rivendell, longingly.]
[Thorin:] “Master Baggins, I suggest you keep up.”
[The dwarves and Bilbo continue on their journey.]
[Back in Rivendell, Gandalf and Galadriel are the only ones remaining in the pavilion.]
[Galadriel:] “You will follow them?”
[Gandalf:] “Yes.”
[Galadriel:] “You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield. But I fear this quest has set in motion forces
we do not yet understand. The riddle of the Morgul blade must be answered. Something moves in the
shadows, unseen, hidden from our sight. It will not show itself, not yet. But every day it grows in
strength. You must be careful.”
[Gandalf:] “Yes.”
[Gandalf turns and starts walking away. When he has gone a short distance, Galadriel speaks again.]
[Galadriel:] “Mithrandir? Why the Halfling?”
[Gandalf:] “I don’t know. Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But
that is not what I have found. I’ve found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that
keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is
50because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.”
[Galadriel suddenly appears in front of Gandalf, and she takes his old, weary hands in hers.]
[Galadriel, telepathically:] “Do not be afraid, Mithrandir.”
[Galadriel, aloud:] “You are not alone.”
[Galadriel tucks a loose strand of Gandalf’s hair back.]
[Galadriel:] “Ae boe i le eliathon, im tulithon.” [subtitle: If you should ever need my help, I will come.]
[Gandalf bows, and Galadriel gently moves her hands away from his. Gandalf looks up, and Galadriel has
[Many scenic shots of the Dwarves and Bilbo hiking through the wilderness of Middle­earth, over ranges,
mountains, and plains.]
[They are crossing the Misty Mountains; the trail is narrow and dangerous, with a cliff on one side and a sheer
drop on the other. There is a fierce storm in the air, with lightning and rain all around.]
[Thorin:] “Hold on!”
[As Bilbo walks, the stone beneath his feet gives away, and he starts falling into the chasm; Dwalin manages to
pull him back in time.]
[Thorin:] “We must find shelter!”
[Dwalin:] “Watch out!”
[The Dwarves look up and see a massive boulder hurtling through the air; it hits the mountainside above them,
causing rocks to fall all around them as they press themselves against the mountain.]
[Balin:] “This is no thunderstorm; it’s a thunder battle! Look!”
[A stone giant rears up from a nearby mountain; it rips off a massive boulder from the top of the mountain.]
[Bofur:] “Well bless me, the legends are true. Giants; Stone Giants!”
[Thorin:] “Take cover: you’ll fall!”
[Kili:] “What’s happening?”
[Giant #1 throws the boulder far in the air; another stone giant, #2, appears from behind the Company, and it is
hit in the head. The dwarves yell at each other to brace and hold on, and the rocks beneath their feet begin to
give way from all the vibrations and from the impact of the falling rocks. The ground between some of the
Company members splits; part of the group is on one side, and part on the other.]
51[Fili:] "Kili! Grab my hand! Ki..."
[As the two stone giants fight with their fists, the dwarves hold on tight as they are flung around. One of the
groups manages to jump to a different spot. A third stone giant appears, and it throws a boulder at the head of
one of the first two. That one falls over; as the first group watches, it appears to them that the other group of the
Company has been smashed to bits. The hurt stone giant loses its footing and falls down the chasm.]
[Thorin:] “No! No! Kili!”
[The group rushes to the spot where the others appeared to have been crushed, but they are safe.]
[Balin:] “We’re all right! We’re alive!”
[Bofur:] “Where’s Bilbo? Where’s the Hobbit?”
[Ori:] “There!”
[Dwalin:] “Get him!”
[Bilbo is seen hanging onto the edge of the cliff with just his fingertips. Ori dives onto the ground and tries to
grab Bilbo’s arm, but Bilbo slips and falls another few feet before he catches another handhold. As the dwarves
try to pull him up unsuccessfully, Thorin swings down on the cliff next to Bilbo and boost him up, where the
others pull him to safety. Dwalin tries to lift Thorin back up too, but Thorin loses his grip and begins falling too;
however, Dwalin, with much effort, is able to pull him back up.]
[Dwalin:] “I thought we’d lost our burglar.”
[Thorin:] “He’s been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place
amongst us. Dwalin!”
[They go off and find a cave.]
[Dwalin:] “It looks safe enough.”
[Thorin:] “Search to the back; caves in mountains are seldom unoccupied.”
[Dwalin searches the cave with a lantern.]
[Dwalin:] “There’s nothing here.”
[Gloin drops a bundle of wood on the floor and rubs his hands.]
[Gloin:] “Right then! Let’s get a fire started.”
[Thorin:] “No, No fires, not in this place. Get some sleep. We start at first light.”
52[Balin:] “We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us. That was the plan.”
[Thorin:] “Plans change. Bofur, take the first watch.”
[Outside, in the valleys before the Misty Mountains, the White Warg sniffs the ground; Azog is on its back. He
speaks in the Black Speech; the translated meaning is:]
[Azog:] [subtitle: The scent is fresh! They have taken the mountain pass.]
[He and the rest of the Warg Scouts race off after the dwarves.]
[The Company is resting in the cave; all the dwarves are asleep. Bilbo, only pretending to be asleep, stealthily
opens his eyes and looks around. Seeing that no one is watching, he quietly rolls up his blankets and packs his
things. Grabbing his walking stick, he starts to leave the cave, tiptoeing over the sleeping dwarves.]
[Bofur, who is standing watch, sees Bilbo trying to leave. He jumps up and tries to stop him. They whisper so
as not to wake the others.]
[Bofur:] “Where do you think you’re going?”
[Bilbo:] “Back to Rivendell.”
[Bofur:] “No, no, you can’t turn back now, you’re part of the Company. You’re one of us.”
[Bilbo:] “I’m not though, am I? Thorin said I should never have come, and he was right. I’m not a Took,
I’m a Baggins, I don’t know what I was thinking. I should never have run out my door.”
[Thorin, who is awake, stares thoughtfully at the wall as he listens.]
[Bofur:] “You’re homesick; I understand.”
[Bilbo:] “No, you don’t, you don’t understand! None of you do ­ you’re dwarves. You used to ­ to this
life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere.”
[Bofur looks offended, and Bilbo is repentant.]
[Bilbo:] “I am sorry, I didn’t...”
[Thorin listens on.]
[Bofur:] “No, you’re right. We don’t belong anywhere. I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do.
[Bofur smiles and places his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder; Bilbo soon turns and begins to walk away.]
53[Bofur:] “What’s that?”
[Something is glowing; Bilbo pull his sword partway out of its sheath and sees that it is growing bright blue,
meaning Orcs are nearby. Thorin raises his head as he hears strange machinery noises and sees cracks form
in the sand on the floor of the cave.”]
[Thorin:] “Wake up. Wake up!”
[Before anyone can react, the floor of the cave collapses downwards; the floor is really a giant trap door. The
entire Company falls down a chute, slides through a tunnel, and lands in a giant wooden cage. As they struggle
to get up, a horde of goblins attacks them, takes away their weapons, and drags them all away. As the dwarves
are lead away kicking and yelling, Bilbo somehow gets missed by the goblins; not seeing him they leave him
behind. Nori, looking over his shoulder, sees this happen. Bilbo scampers behind some railing to hide as he
watches the goblins proceed through the tunnels. Bats fly in the darkness. Bilbo draws his sword, which is
glowing bright blue, and slowly follows the goblins. Suddenly, one goblin jumps out in front of him and rushes at
him with his sword. After a brief fight in which Bilbo barely manages to keep himself alive, the goblin and Bilbo
both fall over the edge of a platform and fall through the darkness.]
[Meanwhile, the goblin horde brings the dwarves through a vast network of tunnels and wooden bridges to the
throne room and platform of the Great Goblin. The Great Goblin is a massive Goblin sitting on a throne, holding
a mace topped with a skull. He is far larger than any other goblin, and he is incredibly ugly, with warts all over
her swinging chin. The dwarves’ weapons are piled together. The Great Goblin jumps off his throne, trampling
several goblins, and approaches the Company.]
[Great Goblin:] “Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves?
[Grinnah:] “Dwarves, Your Malevolence.”
[Great Goblin:] “Dwarves?”
[Grinnah:] “We found them on the front porch.”
[Great Goblin:] “Well, don’t just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice.”
[The goblins search the dwarves thoroughly, throwing away whatever they find. Oin’s hearing trumpet is thrown
on the floor and crushed underfoot.]
[Great Goblin:] “What are you doing in these parts? Speak!”
[None of the dwarves respond.]
[Great Goblin:] “Well then, if they will not talk, we’ll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring
out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest.”
[The Great Goblin points at Ori. However, Thorin steps forward.]
54[Thorin:] “Wait.”
[Great Goblin:] “Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror; King under the
[The Great Goblin bows exaggeratedly to Thorin.]
[Great Goblin:] “Oh, but I’m forgetting, you don’t have a mountain. And you’re not a king. Which makes
you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing
attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.”
[Thorin looks up in surprise and disbelief.]
[Thorin:] “Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago.”
[Great Goblin:] “So you think his defiling days are done, do you?”
[The Great Goblin laughs, then turns to a tiny goblin sitting in a basket and holding a slate.]
[Great Goblin:] “Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize.”
[The tiny goblin writes down the message on his slate; cackling, he then pulls a lever, causing his basket to
start sliding down a system of ropes and pulleys into the darkness.]
[Bilbo regains consciousness and finds himself in a dark cavern, lying behind a clump of mushrooms. He sees
the goblin who attacked him lying nearby, nearly dead. Suddenly, Bilbo sees a strange figure approaching the
goblin. It is Gollum.]
[Gollum:] “Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes! Gollum. Gollum.”
[Bilbo, out of sight behind the mushrooms, watches as Gollum circles around the goblin. Gollum then begins
pulling the goblin away by the feet. Suddenly, the goblin wakes up and begins flailing around. In a fit of rage,
Gollum grabs a rock and pounds the goblin on the head with it, knocking it unconscious again. As Bilbo watches
in horror, a golden ring falls out of Gollum’s loincloth and falls on the floor. Gollum resumes pulling the
unconscious goblin away.]
[Gollum:] “Nasty goblinses. Better than old bones, Precious; better than nothing.”
[Bilbo, emerging from his hiding spot and retrieving his sword, follows after Gollum. By the light of the sword, he
sees the Ring on the ground and he picks it up, examining it.]
[Hearing Gollum singing in the distance, Bilbo puts the Ring into his pocket and follows the sound of Gollum’s
[Smeagol:] “Too many boneses, Precious! Nothing of flesh!”
55[Gollum:] “Shut up! Get its skin off. Start with its head.”
[Smeagol, singing:] “The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet. The rocks and
stones, they’re like old bones, all bare of meat. Cold as death, they have no breath, it’s good to eat!”
[Rounding a corner, Bilbo sees Gollum silhouetted on top of a rock in the middle of a small lake. Gollum is
singing as he beats the goblin’s body. He smashes it in the head again with a rock. Seeing the glow of Bilbo’s
sword, Gollum looks up. Bilbo quickly hides behind a rock, realizing that his sword is still glowing brightly.
However, the sword’s light starts flickering, then completely dies out, signifying that the goblin is dead. Bilbo
peeks out from behind the rock, then is shocked to see that Gollum is no longer there. Gollum stealthily paddles
through the lake in his little boat, using his hands as paddles. Bilbo slowly looks up and finds Gollum on a rock
above him; Gollum jumps down in front of Bilbo.]
[Gollum:] “Bless us and splash us, Precious! That’s a meaty mouthful.”
[Gollum approaches Bilbo, but Bilbo places the point of his sword on Gollum’s throat, causing Gollum to retreat
in fear.]
[Gollum:] “Aaahh. Gollum. Gollum. Ack”
[Bilbo:] “Back. Stay back. I’m warning you, don’t come any closer.”
[Gollum:] “It’s got an elfish blade, but it’s not an Elfs. Not an Elfs, no. What is it, Precious? What is it?”
[Bilbo:] “My name is Bilbo Baggins.”
[Gollum:] “Bagginses? What is a Bagginses, Precious?”
[Bilbo:] “I’m a Hobbit from the Shire.”
[Gollum:] “Oh! We like Goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn’t tried Hobbitses before. Is it soft?
Is it juicy?”
[As Gollum approaches again, Bilbo holds out his sword in front of him and wildly waves it about.]
[Bilbo:] “Now, now, K­­keep your distance! I’ll use this if I have to!”
[Gollum snarls at Bilbo, causing Bilbo to step back.]
[Bilbo:] “I don’t want any trouble, do you understand? Just show me the way to get out of here, and I’ll
be on my way.”
[Gollum:] “Why, is it lost?”
[Bilbo:] “Yes, yes, and I want to get unlost as soon as possible.”
[Upon hearing this, Gollum answers in a different voice than before; this is his Smeagol personality speaking.]
56[Gollum:] “Ooh! We knows! We knows safe paths for Hobbitses. Safe paths in the dark.”
[The Gollum side suddenly takes over the Smeagol side; this exchange of control happens several more times
in the rest of Bilbo and Gollum’s conversation.]
[Gollum:] “Shut up.”
[Bilbo:] “I didn’t say anything.”
[Gollum:] “Wasn’t talking to you.”
[Gollum:] “But yes, we was, Precious, we was.”
[Bilbo:] “Look, uh, I don’t know what your game is, but I­­”
[Gollum:] “Games? We love games, doesn’t we, Precious? Does it like games? Does it? Does it? Does
it like to play?”
[Bilbo:] “Maybe?”
[Smeagol holds up his hands, then begins reciting a riddle.]
[Gollum:] “What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet, never
[Bilbo:] “...The mountain.”
[Smeagol begins laughing uproariously.]
[Gollum:] “Yess, yess, oh, let’s have another one, eh? Yes, come on, do it again, do it—do it again. Ask
[Gollum:] “No! No more riddles. Finish him off. Finish him now. Gollum! Gollum!”
[Gollum snarls, and begins rushing at Bilbo to kill him, but Bilbo holds out his hand to stop him and begins
[Bilbo:] “No! No, no, no. I wa—I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this.
S—so why don’t we have a game of riddles? Yes, just, just you and me.”
[Bilbo crouches until he is level with Gollum; Gollum scuttles forward, close to Bilbo, whispering excitedly.]
[Gollum:] “Yes! Yes, just, just—just us.”
[Bilbo:] “Yes. Yes. And—and if I win, you show me the way out.”
[Gollum:] “Yes. Yes ­”
57[Gollum takes over and snarls, turning away from Bilbo. Gollum’s two personality’s talk to each other.]
[Gollum:] “And if it loses? What then?”
[Gollum:] “Well, if it loses, Precious, we will eats it!”
[Gollum laughs to himself, then turns back to Bilbo]
[Gollum:] “If Baggins loses, we eats it whole.”
[There is a pause for several seconds as Bilbo digests this new information.]
[Bilbo:] “Fair enough.”
[Bilbo stands up and puts his sword away as Gollum looks on interestedly.]
[Gollum:] “Well, Baggins first.”
[As Bilbo thinks of a riddle, Gollum rests his hands and chin on the edge of a rock.]
[Bilbo:] “Thirty white horses on a red hill. First they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still.”
[As Gollum thinks, he keeps opening his eyes and mouth as if he knows the answer, then changes his mind.
This goes on for several seconds, until he finally replies questioningly.]
[Gollum:] “Teeth?”
[Bilbo looks unhappy, as the answer is correct. Gollum becomes ecstatic and laughs throatily.]
[Gollum:] “Teeth!! Yes, my Precious. But we—we—we only have nine.”
[Gollum displays his mouth, showing that he really does only have nine teeth. Bilbo is disgusted. Gollum begins
reciting his next riddle, while getting closer and closer to Bibo. Bilbo keeps a large rock between the two of
[Gollum:] “Our turn. Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters.”
[Bilbo:] “Just a minute.”
[As Bilbo walks off thinking, Gollum’s evil face turns into Smeagol’s excited face]
[Gollum:] “Oh, oh! We knows. We knows!”
[Gollum:] “Shut up.”
[As Bilbo observes the water, he notices tiny waves forming as a breeze ruffles the surface of the water.]
58[Bilbo:] “Wind. It’s wind! Of course it is.”
[Gollum snarls in frustration and begins slinking around, approaching Bilbo.]
[Gollum:] “Very clever, Hobbitses, very clever.”
[As he gets too close for comfort, Bilbo pulls out his sword and points it at Gollum again, but also begins saying
his own riddle.]
[Bilbo:] “Ah, ah, ah, ah. A—a box without hinges, key, o—or, or lid; yet golden treasure inside is hid.”
[Gollum thinks hard, talking to himself and making many hand motions.]
[Gollum:] “A box...and a lid...and then a key....
[Bilbo:] “Well?”
[Gollum:] “It’s nasty. Uh, box, uh...”
[Bilbo:] “Give up?”
[Gollum:] “Give us a chance, Precious, give us a chance!”
[In frustration, Smeagol begins pounding the floor and snarling. He puckers his face up deeply, then suddenly
opens his eyes wide as he gets the answer.]
[Gollum:] “Eggses! Eggses! [He laughs.] What crunchy little eggses, yes. Grandmother taught us to
suck them, yes.”
[As Smeagol laughs, a bat makes a noise in the darkness. Bilbo turns to look for the source of the noise; as he
turns back around, he realizes that Gollum is gone. Gollum’s voice suddenly starts sounding like an echo from
different parts of the cave. Gollum speaks his riddle from some unknown spot.]
[Gollum:] “Ahh. We have one for you: All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron,
bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal. Answer us.”
[Bilbo:] “Give me a moment, please, I gave you a good long while.”
[Bilbo tries to think while at the same time he walks around with his sword drawn, looking for Gollum,.]
[Bilbo:] “I don’t know this one.”
[Gollum:] “Is it tasty? Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?”
[As Gollum says ‘crunchable,’ he appears behind Bilbo and tries to grab him by the throat, but Bilbo jumps away
and points his sword at Gollum.]
[Bilbo:] “Let me think. Let me think.”
59[Gollum:] “It’s stuck. Bagginses is stuck.”
[Bilbo paces back and forth next to the water, thinking. Gollum smiles eerily and puts up his hands in a shrug.]
[Gollum:] “Time’s up.”
[Gollum shifts, preparing to leap on Bilbo.]
[Bilbo:] “Time. Ti—the answer is time.”
[Gollum snarls in frustration.]
[Bilbo:] “Actually, it wasn’t that hard.”
[Gollum:] “Last question. Last chance.”
[Bilbo:] “Ah, uh....”
[Gollum:] “Ask us. ASK US!!”
[Although Gollum is smiling sweetly, he has a rock clutched behind his back with which to hit Bilbo. The first
time he says “Ask us,” he says it sweetly. He then roars it a second time angrily.]
[Bilbo:] “Yes, yes, alright.”
[Bilbo strolls to the edge of the lake to think. He absentmindedly rubs his pocket and feels the ring inside.]
[Bilbo:] “What have I got in my pocket?”
[Gollum looks disgusted and angry.]
[Gollum:] “That’s not fair. It’s not fair! It’s against the rules!”
[In frustration, Gollum throws down the rock he’d been clutching. Bilbo makes a startled noise.]
[Gollum:] “Ask us another one.”
[Bilbo:] “No, no, no, no. You said ‘Ask me a question.’ Well, that is my question. What have I got in my
[Gollum jumps off his rock and approaches Bilbo; Bilbo moves to keep a rock between him and Gollum.]
[Gollum:] “Three guesses, Precious. It must give us three.”
[Gollum holds up two fingers to quantify three.]
[Bilbo:] “Three guesses. Very well, guess away.”
60[Gollum:] “Handses!”
[Bilbo pulls his hand out of his pocket just in time.]
[Bilbo:] “Wrong, guess again.”
[Gollum crouches on the floor, trying to think of the answer. He mutters potential answers to himself and slaps
the floor in increasing anger and ferocity as he fails to come up with the right answer.]
[Gollum:] “Fish­bones, goblins’ teeth, wet shells, bat’s wings ... Knife!”
[Gollum:] “Oh, shut up.”
[Bilbo:] “Wrong again. Last guess.”
[Gollum:] “String!”
[Gollum:] “Or nothing.”
[Bilbo:] “Two guesses at once; wrong both times.”
[Upon hearing this, Gollum falls to the floor, sobbing.]
[Bilbo:] “So, come then, I won the game, you promised to show me the way out.”
[Gollum:] “Did we say so, Precious? Did we say so?”
[Gollum slowly turns around and glares hatefully at Bilbo.]
[Gollum:] “What has it got in its pocketses?”
[Bilbo points his sword at Gollum.]
[Bilbo:] “That’s no concern of yours. You lost.”
[Gollum:] “Lost? Lost? Lost?”
[Gollum grins as he slowly approaches Bilbo, planning to kill him. He reaches for something hidden at his side;
realizing that the item is not there, his face registers his shock. He begins groping all over himself trying to find
[Gollum:] “Where is it? Where is it? No! Ahh! Where is it? No! No!!!”
[Gollum scuttles around the cave, scattering bones and rocks as he searches in vain for the Ring. He even
splashes through the shallows of the lake. His voice breaks as he cries.]
[Gollum:] “Lost! Curses and splashes, my precious is lost!”
61[While Gollum’s back is toward him, Bilbo, realizing what it was that Gollum lost, quickly takes the Ring from his
pocket and holds it in his hand behind his back.]
[Bilbo:] “What have you lost?”
[Gollum:] “Mustn't ask us! Not its business! No! Gollum, Gollum.”
[Gollum, leaning over the edge of the lake, sobs quietly. As he stares into the water, his sobs cease and his
face becomes contorted in anger.]
[Gollum:] “What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?”
[In fear, Bilbo clutches the Ring behind him more tightly and points his sword at Gollum. Gollum slowly looks up
in shock and anger. At first, he whispers; he then gets louder and louder until he is roaring.]
[Gollum:] “He stole it. He stole it! Ahh! HE STOLE IT!”
[Snarling, Gollum throws a stone at Bilbo. Bilbo deflects it with his sword, then runs away, with Gollum chasing
[Back in the throneroom of the Great Goblin, dozens of goblins carry massive instruments of torture on their
shoulders, bringing them to the Great Goblin. Meanwhile, the Great Goblin is dancing and singing lustily.]
[Great Goblin:] “Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung! You’ll be beaten and battered, from
racks you’ll be hung. You will lie down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin­town.”
[Grinnah, one of the goblins, is examining the weapons the dwarves brought with them. He picks up Thorin’s
sword, Orcrist, and slides it a few inches out of its sheath. Recognizing the sword, he gasps in horror and
throws down the sword. It lands in view of all the goblins. Recognizing it, the goblins howl in fear and rage as
they retreat from it; the Great Goblin runs rapidly to his throne, trampling many goblins on his way. He speaks
loudly, pointing at the sword.]
[Great Goblin:] “I know that sword! It is the Goblin­Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand
[As he speaks, Grinnah and the rest of the Goblins begin whipping the dwarves with ropes and leaping upon
them, biting and slashing.]
[Great Goblin:] “Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!”
[Goblins hold Thorin down, and one of them pulls out his knife and prepares to behead Thorin.]
[Suddenly, there is a massive explosion of bright light; the sound goes muted as a shockwave rips through the
area, flinging goblins in the air and destroying the torturing machines. Everyone is knocked down, including the
Great Goblin. When the force of the explosion has passed, most of the lights in the area have been snuffed out;
62in the background, a shadow with a tall pointy hat walks up. It is Gandalf, holding his staff and his sword,
Glamdring. Light slowly returns to the area as the goblins and the dwarves slowly look up, recovering from the
shock. They all stare at Gandalf.]
[Gandalf:] “Take up arms. Fight. Fight!”
[The dwarves quickly get up and begin fighting the goblins. As goblins run at Gandalf, he kills them with his
sword and staff. The Great Goblin, still lying on the ground, sees Gandalf’s sword and points at it, crying aloud
to his goblins.]
[Great Goblin:] “He wields the Foe­Hammer, the Beater, bright as daylight!”
[Some of the dwarves reach their pile of weapons and begin tossing the weapons to each other; they use their
weapons to defeat the goblins around them. Oin manages to reclaim his hearing trumpet, although it has been
quite flattened. Nori, while fighting, lands on the floor; the Great Goblin runs at him and swings his mace.]
[Dwarf:] “Nori!”
[Thorin jumps forward and deflects the Great Goblin’s blow, causing the Great Goblin to stumble backward and
fall off the edge of his platform, falling to the depths below. The rest of the dwarves and Gandalf continue to
[Gandalf:] “Follow me. Quick! Run!”
[Cutting down the goblins around them, the dwarves and Gandalf run along a pathway leading away from the
throne room.]
[Bilbo hurries through a cave, fleeing from Gollum, whom we can hear in the distance.]
[Gollum:] “Give it to us!”
[Bilbo is in a side cave; he sees Gollum running past the entrance of the cave he is in. Gasping, he turns around
and tries to run through a crack in the wall. However, he gets stuck partway through. He looks up in fear as
Gollum, attracted by the noise, backtracks and sees Bilbo stuck in the crack. Snarling, Gollum approaches
[Gollum:] “It’s ours. It’s ours!”
[Gollum snarls again; Bilbo exhales and pushes as hard as he can; he manages to slip through the crack, but
his waistcoat buttons are ripped off in the process and they hit Gollum in the face. Gollum snarls. On the other
side of the crack, Bilbo falls down from his exertions. As he hits the ground, the Ring, which was in his hand,
flies into the air. As it descends, Bilbo reaches up to grab it; instead of landing in his hand, however, the Ring
slides onto his finger, and Bilbo suddenly becomes invisible. Gollum jumps into the area where Bilbo is,
growling, and looks around for Bilbo; however, since Bilbo is invisible, he doesn’t see him, and Gollum
continues down the cave. Bilbo, with the Ring on, sees everything as if he’s in a different reality. All the colors
are muted, and the edges of everything are blurred and wavy.]
63[Gollum:] “Thief! Baggins!”
[Seeing Gollum run away, Bilbo slowly stands up in shock.]
[Gandalf and the dwarves are running through the suspended passageways of Goblin Town, with hundreds of
goblins running after them.]
[Gandalf:] “Quickly!”
[A dwarf:] “Faster!”
[Dwalin sees several goblins running at them from in front]
[Dwalin:] “Post!”
[He and some of the dwarves cut a guardrail post from the side of the path and they hold it out in front of them
like a massive spear.]
[Dwalin:] “Charge!”
[He and the other dwarves charge at the oncoming goblins and sweep them away with the long rail. Dropping
the rail, Dwalin pulls out his axes and begins knocking aside goblins. The rest of the company do the same.
Gloin hits one goblin who falls and lands on another suspended path, breaking the path and dropping all the
goblins on it into the darkness below. The rest of the Company also fight the goblins around them with their
various weapons and fighting styles. Several goblins snarl as they swing on ropes toward the dwarves.]
[Thorin:] “Cut the ropes!”
[Thorin and some of the dwarves cut the ropes holding a raised platform in place; the platform falls outward,
entangling the goblins swinging on the ropes. As Kili fights, several goblins start shooting arrows at him. He
deflects some arrows with his sword; he then grabs a nearby ladder and drops it on the oncoming goblins. Kili
and some of the other dwarves run forward, pushing the ladder and the goblins it has trapped in front of them.
As they approach a missing area of the path, the goblins fall down into the darkness; the ladder, however, acts
as a bridge for the dwarves to cross to the rest of the path. As soon as they cross it, Dwalin breaks the ladder,
preventing the goblins chasing them from crossing it.]
[Gandalf:] “Quickly!”
[The dwarves and Gandalf continue running through the maze­like paths; they get on a section of the path
suspended by ropes from above. They slice some ropes, and the pathway swings away from the rest of the
path, approaching a different path.]
[Thorin:] “Jump!”
[Several of the dwarves manage to jump to the other path; however, before the rest can, the suspended path
64swings back like a pendulum to where it started, and several goblins leap on. As the path swings back again,
the rest of the dwarves and Gandalf manage to jump to the new path as well; they cut the ropes, causing the
swinging path and the goblins on it to fall. The dwarves and Gandalf continue running through the tunnels, killing
all the goblins in their way. Gandalf strikes a rock above them with his staff, causing the rock to fall down and
begin rolling in front of the Company, squashing all the goblins in their way. Soon, they approach a bridge
between two walls of the cavern. As they try to cross it, the Great Goblin suddenly breaks through from
underneath the bridge and pulls himself up onto the bridge, in front of the Company. As the Company pauses,
hundreds of goblins approach them from all sides.]
[Great Goblin:] “You thought you could escape me?”
[The Great Goblin swings his mace twice and Gandalf, causing Gandalf to stumble back and almost fall.]
[Great Goblin:] “What are you going to do now, wizard?”
[Gandalf leaps forward and strikes the Great Goblin in the eye with his staff. The Great Goblin drops his mace
and clutches his face in pain.]
[Great Goblin:] “Ow, ow, ow!”
[Gandalf steps forward and slices the Great Goblin in the belly; the Great Goblin falls to his knees, clutching his
[Great Goblin:] “That’ll do it.”
[Gandalf again swings his sword and slices the Great Goblin’s neck, causing him to fall down dead.]
[His weight causes the bridge to start shaking; suddenly, the section of the bridge on which the company is
standing breaks away from the rest of the bridge and starts sliding down the side of the cavern. The bridge
slides at a terrific speed down the cavern’s wall, demolishing everything in its way; the dwarves cling on,
screaming in terror. The bridge slows down and lands at the base of the cavern, breaking apart and burying the
dwarves in the timber and wood. Gandalf gets up from the pile of wreckage and inspects the rest of the
dwarves, who are still stuck in the wreckage.]
[Bofur:] “Well, that could have been worse.”
[Suddenly, the heavy corpse of the Great Goblin lands on the wreckage, squishing the dwarves further. They
cry out in pain.]
[Dwalin:] “You’ve got to be joking!”
[As the dwarves extricate themselves from the rubble, Kili looks up and sees thousands of goblins running at
[Kili:] “Gandalf!”
[Dwalin:] “There’s too many! We can’t fight them.”
65[Gandalf:] “Only one thing will save us: daylight! Come on! Here, on your feet!”
[The dwarves get up quickly, helping each other out of the rubble, and they run away, following Gandalf.]
[Gollum jumps into a tunnel, a tunnel with an exit to the side of the mountain. Daylight is visible through the exit.]
[Gollum:] “Wait, my Precious! Wait! Gollum, Gollum.”
[Bilbo slowly approaches, invisible with the Ring on. He has his sword drawn. Hearing a noise, Gollum quickly
hides behind a rock. As Bilbo watches, Gandalf and the dwarves run by, escaping through the exit. Bilbo, seeing
his companions, is frantic. The dwarves and Gandalf run down the side of the steep, tree­covered mountain.
Gollum again enters the tunnel, looking for Bilbo and the Ring. Bilbo, still invisible, put his sword to Gollum’s
neck, then pulls back to swing the sword and cut off Gollum’s head. Before he can swing, however, Gollum
turns around, looking down the passageway behind him. He cannot see Bilbo, but Bilbo can see him. Again,
Bilbo places the tip of his sword at Gollum’s throat, but he hesitates upon seeing Gollum’s extreme sadness.
For a second, Gollum looks almost human. Bilbo lowers his sword, pitying Gollum and remembering what
Gandalf told him about swords and courage. Bilbo then looks determined and takes a deep breath, stepping
back a few feet. Hearing Bilbo’s feet, Gollum frowns and begins to growl. Bilbo runs forward and leaps over
Gollum, stepping on Gollum’s head and knocking him over in the process. Still invisible, Bilbo runs out the exit.
Gollum jumps up and scrabbles around him, trying to grab the invisible Bilbo, roaring all the while.]
[Gollum:] “Baggins! Thief! Curse it and crush it, we hates it forever!”
[Still invisible, Bilbo runs down the mountain after the rest of the Company. Far in front of him, Gandalf pauses
to count how many dwarves are with him. The dwarves pause to collect their breath.]
[Gandalf:] “Five, six, seven, eight...Bifur, Bofur...that’s ten...Fili, Kili...that’s twelve...and Bombur ­ that
makes thirteen. Where’s Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? Where is our hobbit?!”
[Dwalin:] “Curse the halfling! Now he’s lost?!”
[Gloin:] “I thought he was with Dori!”
[Dori:] “Don’t blame me!”
[Gandalf:] “Well, where did you last see him?”
[Nori:] “I think I saw him slip away, when they first collared us.”
[Gandalf:] “What happened exactly? Tell me!”
[Bilbo, still invisible, has caught up to the rest of the group. He hides behind a tree as Thorin speaks.]
66[Thorin:] “I’ll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He’s thought of
nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be
seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone.”
[Bilbo, who is still invisible, hears everything Thorin said. He leans on the tree as he ponders what he has just
heard. The dwarves look at each other.]
[Bilbo:] “No, he isn’t.”
[Bilbo steps out from behind the tree, no longer invisible. The dwarves look up in shock and relief. Gandalf
laughs as he speaks.]
[Gandalf:] “Bilbo Baggins! I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life!”
[Bilbo strides forward into the group; he pats Balin affectionately on the shoulder.]
[Kili:] “Bilbo, we’d given you up!”
[Fili:] “How on earth did you get past the Goblins?!”
[Dwalin:] “How, indeed.”
[There is an awkward silence as Bilbo tries to think what to say. In the end, he gives a nervous laugh and puts
his hands on his hips. Gandalf is the only one to notice Bilbo sliding the Ring into his waistcoat pocket. Gandalf
looks a bit perturbed.]
[Gandalf:] “Well, what does it matter? He’s back!”
[Thorin:] “It matters! I want to know: why did you come back?”
[Bilbo:] “Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you’re right, I often think of Bag End.
I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See, that’s where I belong. That’s home. And that’s
why I came back, cause you don’t have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it
back if I can.”
[After Bilbo speaks, there is silence as the dwarves think about what Bilbo said. Gandalf smiles slightly, happy
that Bilbo has changed so much ­ for the better.]
[Azog and his Warg Riders get to the top of the mountain.]
[Azog:] [subtitle: Run them down! Tear them to pieces!]
[He swings his mace forward, and several of his Wargs (without riders) leap forward and race down the
mountain after the Company, howling. Hearing the howling, the Company members realize they are in danger.]
[Thorin:] “Out of the frying pan...”
67[Gandalf:] “...and into the fire! Run! RUN!”
[They all start running down the mountain as fast as they can. The Wargs follow them rapidly; it becomes
nighttime. Soon the foremost Warg catches up to the group and leaps at Bilbo; Bilbo ducks behind a rock and
the Warg’s jaws snap in the air over his head. The Warg lands in front of him. Growling, it charges at him.]
[Bilbo pulls out his sword and holds it in front of him; the charging Warg impales itself in the head on the sword
and falls down dead. Bilbo looks on in surprise. A few more Wargs catch up to the fleeing dwarves, but they are
quickly dispatched. The Company reaches a large outcropping of land with a few trees growing on it; they are
trapped there, as there is no way off the outcropping besides a great fall down the mountain.]
[Gandalf:] “Up into the trees, all of you! Come on, climb! Bilbo, climb!”
[Bifur throws an axe, killing a Warg which was approaching him. Bofur jumps off a rock and grabs a tree
branch, using Dwalin’s head as a stepping stone to the tree. Other dwarves begin climbing into the trees as
well. Bilbo tries to pull his sword out of the dead Warg’s head, but it is stuck firmly. He continues to pull.]
[Thorin:] “They’re coming!”
[Gandalf climbs to the top of the furthest tree; Dwalin boosts Balin up. Thorin, Bombur, and the rest climb up
trees too. The main body of Wargs and Warg Riders approach. Bilbo finally manages to pull his sword out of
the Warg; he looks up to see several more Wargs running at him. He quickly clambers up a tree as the Wargs
rush below him. Dozens of Wargs circle the trees in which the Company members are perched. Gandalf
reaches out with his staff and picks up a moth sitting in the same tree as him. Bringing the moth close to his
face, he whispers to it; he then blows it gently, causing it to flutter away. The Wargs cease their growling and
turn as the White Warg, with Azog on its back, approaches slowly. Thorin looks at Azog in shock.]
[Thorin:] “Azog?!”
[As his White Warg growls, Azog strokes it and talks ominously.]
[Azog:] “Nuzdigid? Nuzdi gast?” [subtitle: Do you smell it? The scent of fear?] “Ganzilig­i unarug obod
nauzdanish, Torin undag Train­ob.” [subtitle: I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of
[Thorin looks stricken with pain and grief, realizing that Azog had captured his father.]
[Thorin:] “It cannot be.”
[Azog speaks to his Wargs and Riders.]
[Azog:] “Kod, Toragid biriz.” [subtitle: That one is mine.] “Worori­da!” [subtitle: Kill the others!]
[At his command, the Wargs leap forward and try to climb the trees. They jump as high as they can, scrabbling
at the tree trunks and breaking apart branches in their jaws in their efforts. The trees shake violently at the
assault, and the dwarves struggle to hold on.]
68[Azog:] “Sho gad adol!” [subtitle: Drink their blood!]
[With the weight of the Wargs climbing it, the furthest tree from the edge of the cliff, which Bilbo and several
other dwarves are in, gets uprooted from the ground and begins leaning wildly. As more Wargs grab onto it, the
tree tips over and lands on the next tree; the dwarves and Bilbo jump from the falling tree to the next. However,
this tree as well tips over; like dominoes, all the trees begin falling over. All the dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf
manage to jump onto the last tree, on the very edge of the cliff. This tree doesn’t fall over. Azog laughs. Looking
around in desperation, Gandalf spies a pinecone. He grabs it and uses his staff to set the pinecone on fire; he
then throws it down amid the Wargs, who retreat in fear of the fire. Azog is startled and angry at the unexpected
resistance. Gandalf lights two more pinecones and throws one down to Fili.]
[Gandalf:] “Fili!”
[Fili catches the pinecone. Bilbo and the dwarves gather pinecones and Gandalf sets them on fire; they then
throw the flaming pinecones like missiles at the Wargs. All the area around the tree gets set on fire, forcing the
Wargs to retreat a distance. At least one Warg gallops away with its fur alight. Azog roars in anger and
frustration as the dwarves cheer. Suddenly, their cheers turn into cries of fear as the roots of the tree they are in
start to give way; the tree tips precariously over the edge of the cliff, but comes to a rest sticking straight out
away from the edge of the cliff. Gandalf looks down and sees the ground far, far, below. The dwarves try to hold
on as they get flung around. Ori loses his grip on the tree and falls, but manages to grab on to Dori’s leg.]
[Ori:] “Aahhh! Oh! Oh no!”
[Dori:] “Mister Gandalf!”
[Because of the extra weight, Dori loses his grip on the tree as well and falls, but Gandalf quickly swings his
staff down and Dori grabs on to the end of it.]
[Dori:] “Hold on, Ori!”
[Azog growls; Thorin, clinging to the tree, looks at him in hate and anger. Thorin pulls himself up, his sword
drawn, and walks down the leaning trunk as Bilbo and the others, hanging from the tree, look on. Thorin runs
through the burning ground at Azog and his White Warg. Azog spreads his arms wide with a smug grin on his
face. Thorin growls as he runs with his sword up and his oaken branch shield held in front of him. Azog
crouches, then roars as his Warg leaps at Thorin. Thorin tries to swing his sword, but the Warg hits him in the
chest with its forepaw, smashing Thorin to the ground. The other dwarves in the tree look on in shock. Dori
struggles to hold on to Gandalf’s staff.]
[Ori:] “Help!”
[As Thorin gets back on his feet, panting, Azog and his White Warg wheel around; they charge at Thorin again.
Azog swings his mace and smashes Thorin in the face before Thorin can react. Thorin is brutally flung to the
ground by the impact.]
[Balin:] “Nooo!”
[Azog roars in excitement. Bilbo manages to stand up on the tree. The White Warg clamps its jaws around
Thorin and Thorin yells in pain. Dwalin tries to get off and tree to assist Thorin, but the tree branches he is
69holding on to break, swinging him precariously over the edge and preventing him from reaching Thorin.]
[Dwalin:] “Thorin! Nooo!”
[As the White Warg holds Thorin in its mouth, Thorin manages to hit its head with the pommel of his sword.
Roaring, the White Warg throws Thorin several feet away onto a flat rock nearby. Thorin lands heavily, his
sword falling out of his hand. He is almost unconscious.]
[Azog:] “Biriz torag khobdudol.” [subtitle: Bring me the Dwarf’s head.]
[One of Azog’s Warg Riders jumps off his Warg and approaches Thorin. Bilbo, seeing this, pull out his own
sword, which glows blue. The orc approaches Thorin and places its sword against his neck; raising the sword,
the rider prepares to decapitate Thorin. As he swings his sword down, Bilbo throws himself at the orc and
knocks him over. As they fight, Bilbo manages to stab and kill the orc. As Azog growls in anger, Thorin goes
unconscious. Pulling his sword out of the dead orc’s body, Bilbo stands in front of the unconscious Thorin and
protects his body. He waves his sword wildly at Azog and the other Wargs. Azog smiles in hatred and speaks
in the Black Speech to his Orcs; the translated meaning is:]
[Azog:] [subtitle: Kill him.]
[A couple of Wargs and Riders approach Bilbo, snarling. Suddenly, Fili, Kili, and Dwalin, who have managed to
get off the tree, plow into the Wargs from the side and start fighting them. In the confusion, Bilbo yells and leaps
forward, wounding a Warg. The White Warg hits Bilbo with his head and sends him flying, however. As the
fighting around them continues, Azog and his White Warg approach Bibo to kill him. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin have
been surrounded by Wargs, and Bilbo is at Azog’s mercy. Suddenly, the moth returns to Gandalf. Dori slips
from the end of Gandalf’s staff, and Dori and Ori fall toward the ground far below. An eagle swoops out of
nowhere and catches them on its back; they yell in fear as they are carried swiftly away. Several more Eagles
appear and join the fray. Some grab Wargs and Orcs and toss them over the cliff. Others knock down trees,
which crush the Wargs below them. Another Eagle fans the flames with its wings, causing an inferno which
burns the Wargs. Azog snarls in frustration. One Eagle gently grabs Thorin and his sword in its talons and flies
away. As Thorin is lifted off the ground, his oaken branch shield slips off his arm and lands on the ground. Azog
roars and jumps back as an Eagle flies by him; the Eagle heads straight for an alarmed Bibo and snatches him
off the ground. It then throws Bilbo, and he screams as he falls toward the ground, only to land on the back of
another Eagle. The rest of the Eagles proceed to snatch the dwarves out of the tree and fly away. When only
Gandalf is left in the tree, the roots give way and the tree falls off the edge of the cliff. Gandalf leaps clear of it
and is caught by an Eagle. As the Eagles fly away with all the Company, Azog and the few Warg Riders left
growl in anger and frustration.]
[The Eagles soar through the sky over a great distance and over many landscapes. Thorin lies unconscious in
one Eagle’s talons; the others worry about him.]
[Fili:] “Thorin!”
[The Eagles approach a massive rock structure shaped like a bear; it is the Carrock. The Eagle carrying Thorin
gently deposits him and his sword on a flat area on top of the Carrock. Another Eagle lands on the Carrock and
Gandalf slides off its neck, running toward the unconscious Thorin.]
70[Gandalf:] “Thorin! Thorin.”
[Thorin is not responding. Bilbo runs up. Gandalf places his hand on Thorin’s face and whispers a spell.
Thorin’s eyes flutter open and he gasps for air. He speaks weakly.]
[Thorin:] “The halfling?”
[Gandalf:] “It’s all right. Bilbo is here. He’s quiet safe.”
[By now, the other dwarves have all been landed on the Carrock, and they surround the wounded Thorin.
Dwalin and Kili help Thorin up. However, once he’s up, he shrugs them off and approaches Bilbo.]
[Thorin:] “You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a
burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?”
[Thorin advances until he is face to face with Bilbo, who looks worried and frightened.]
[Thorin:] “I’ve never been so wrong in all my life!”
[Thorin grabs Bilbo and embraces him deeply. The other dwarves cheer loudly and slap each other on the back.
Gandalf smiles. Bilbo, looking quite surprised, hugs Thorin back. ]
[Thorin:] “I am sorry I doubted you.”
[Bilbo:] “No, I would have doubted me too. I’m not a hero or a warrior...not even a burglar.”
[As everyone chuckles, the Eagles fly away, screeching. Thorin looks beyond Bilbo and sees something; he
strides forward, and the others follow his gaze.]
[Bilbo:] “Is that what I think it is?
[In the distance, on the horizon, they see the outline of a single, solitary mountain.]
[Gandalf:] “Erebor—The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of Middle­earth.”
[Thorin:] “Our home.”
[A bird cheeps and flies by.]
[Oin:] “A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain.”
[More birdsong is heard.]
[Gandalf:] “That, my dear Oin, is a thrush.”
[Thorin:] “But we’ll take it as a sign ­ a good omen.”
71[Bilbo:] “You’re right. I do believe the worst is behind us.”
[The Company looks on at the Lonely Mountain as the sun comes up behind them.]
[The thrush flies across the Desolation of Smaug, flying in front of the ruined gates of Erebor, and then finally
lands on a rock on the side of the mountain. It picks up a snail and bangs the snail shell against the side of the
mountain. Inside the mountain, a massive pile of gold, coins, jewels, and treasures is piled up in the throne
room, and the sounds of the thrush echo through the massive chambers. Some of the gold is blown away,
revealing Smaug’s snout beneath the pile. As Smaug slowly raises his head from beneath the pile, more
treasure falls away from his face. The camera focuses on his closed eye. Suddenly, his eye opens, and Smaug
[The scene fades to black. As the credits roll, Neil Finn’s song “Song of the Lonely Mountain” plays.]

== beep ==

(loud semi-truck horn noises) ~~~~

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